Originally Posted by carmel23
I completely agree with this. You have to follow him around at the playground and basically stop him every time he tries to push, hit, etc . And tell him if he pushes/hits one more time you'll have to leave. If it does happen, leave right then--without any drama, etc. Just say, we cannot be here if we hit/push and go. Zero tolerance is the way to go.
And try to spend a lot of time at playgrounds and stuff that are free, so you don't feel like you lost $ when you leave, or aren't tempted to stay even though he hit/pushed. I think after 3 times of leaving, he should start to get that he can't hit.
There is a great book called "hands are not for hitting," and it is very positive, and tells the child what hands *are* for, but they are not for hitting...
And don't worry almost all kids go through this phase... whether it is now or when they're older...
My DS has a similar temperment to your description (though older - 34 months now), and has done VERY WELL with "Hands are Not for Hitting". He can pretty much recite the book cover to cover. I checked it out from the library when we first moved & he was really having some aggression issues and they started to surface at the playground and with DD. Anytime he gets upset now, I can hear him mumbling... "Hands are for eat, drink. Hands are for keep safe. Hands are for not hit!" We haven't had any hitting in a month or more.
Originally Posted by NZJMama
My first thought when I read your post is that he is over-stimulated. It sounds like he needs the physical activity, but maybe having so many kids in a small space over-stimulates him and he acts out. Since he can't say, "hey Mom, there's too much going on for me, I need to leave", he becomes aggressive. I would try a warning at the first sign of aggressive behavior and if he does it again (which he will) just pick up and leave. Around that age my 6yo would run from me when he was ready to leave a place.It drove me nuts becasue I would put him in the stroller and leave and he would throw a world class tantrum, but he almost seemed relieved when we got back to the car. Not sure if this is what's going on in your case, but it is worth considering. Good luck.
I second this. My DS's physical activity needs are SO insane... it seems to me he could literally run, bounce off the walls, and do backflips, without eating or sleeping until I stop him. Because of this, we used to let him out into our yard to play (fenced) at free will. When we moved to an apartment, I started taking him to a park, playground, gymboree, swimming or SOMETHING nearly daily to help him get it out.... I failed to think that ALL that activity might be just a bit too much. We try to do our activities 2 hours or less at a time, and I try to space them... Inside day, playground day, play outside but just in grass field day, library day.. etc. He does much better that way. Also, I think the picking up and leaving is important. After 2 years old, they start to know what they want and whether you mean what you say. If you tell him, "No pushing, or we're leaving", and he pushes - you have to leave. I hated this part, but we only had to leave somewhere twice before he stopped.
In addition to all that... Yes, I think the older group is probably a great idea if possible. DS is just shy of 3 and I routinely take him to a playground designed for children ages 4-10. It works out extremely well because they play faster, do more climbing and jumping and madness and DS fits in better with that. The timidness of younger children makes him nervous and makes him do crazy things. It's also fun because the other kids recognize that he's younger/smaller and immediately begin teaching him things. Pretty cool to watch. Good luck mama!