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Queer Conceptions July 2011 - Page 15

post #281 of 292

Handerson: Desert has some really good guidance and suggestions for you. You should chart through the 30 days (or however long her cycle is) and understand it as much as you can.  BTW, stress does not delay a period but ovulation can be delayed by stress. So if her period is late and she doesn't have the chance of being pregnant, than her ovulation was probably later than you thought. It's a myth that stress can cause your period to be late. Being pregnant can cause your period to be late! :-) You may already know all that is below so if you do, ignore and maybe it will help someone else who is just starting out.


  • Take your (her) temp every morning at the same time, upon waking, before you do anything else. Use a printed out chart or online software to help track. The first day of full bleeding is considered Day 1 of the cycle.
  • After her period ends, she'll start heading towards ovulation. As Desert mentioned, starting to do OPKs on Day 9 is recommended. Test once in the morning around 10am and once about 12 hours later. The LH surge can happen in just 12 hours so you don't want to miss it! I always recommend using Clear Blue Easy Digital, especially if you're having a hard time figuring out from cheaper brands if you're ovulating. They are more expensive but worth it. You can get them on eBay from women like us who had them but aren't using them for less.
  • Have her check her cervical mucous (CM) and cervical position (if she knows how) for other signs of impending ovulation. Track these on your spreadsheet or through your software. Remember, three signs lining up at the same time are the best indication that you're ovulating (if you're not using other methods such as ultrasounds).
  • When you get the smiley face, you're 12-24 hours from ovulating. Get ready to get your sperm shipped!
  • Keep tracking the temp, so you can see the rise that indicates ovulation. This isn't something that will help you to predict ovulation but rather help you to determine she did ovulate, after the fact.
  • The day after ovluation is considered DPO1 (days past ovulation) and this is when your two week wait (TWW) begins! Keep tracking temp if you want. Some people do see patterns in their temp that indicates they are pregnant. Some people choose not to temp because it just stresses them out.
  • Once done, take a look at your chart and note patterns. What day did she ovulate? (average is day 14 but EVERYONE is different so this is something you really need to know. All doctors will just assume day 14 and need to know if you're different). How many days are there between ovulation and her period starting? (this is considered the luteal phase, anything between 11 and 14 days is considered normal and there are some arguments as to what determines a short luteal phase. Some docs say 11 days or less, others say 10 days or less. If you're at the 11 or 10 days or less mark, it could indicate a luteal phase defect (LPD) and you may want to check in with an RE about it).


Best of luck!! Let us know where you guys are at in the cycle.





post #282 of 292

salut gals!  i'm still trying to catch up on everything that happened while i was away, so forgive the lack of personals. 

i do want to send a huge hug to Carmen and say that i'm really sorry.  i hope that you're healing quickly and that attempt #3 will be the sticky BFP.


also, Greetings and Salutations to all the newcomers who arrived while i was in the middle of my month(ish) afk.  Welcome aboard!


afm...  we just got back yesterday from a dreamy trip to tuscany.  DP and i rented a little stone house in a village and drove or took the train to big cities like Pisa, Florence and Siena as well as lots of other tiny towns.  the landscape was gorgeous, the food divine and the people incredibly warm and welcoming.  i don't think either of us expected to love the place as much as we did... especially our little fortified town.  we were basically adopted by the inhabitants, whom i count among the sweetest and most generous people i've met in all my travels.  homemade plum pie, handmade pasta, vegetable soup, fresh-baked bread and biscotti.... the list of food we were given just goes on and on.  i'm sure they took one look at us and thought, "those lesbians obviously like to eat,"  and then the competition to feed us was on.  DP *cried* when we drove away from the village, and now she's saying she wants to go back next year for an entire month.  the only part i really didn't like was the hordes of tourists in the bigger cities...i am so not a crowd person.  now we're back in paris, and it's so strange to hear french everywhere.    anyway....back to reality, i guess.  as for the TTC, i start clomid tonight, and i guess insems will follow when the time is right.   has anyone else taken clomid?  any advice? 


oh yeah and, sara, any word on the job?  and anything in the mailbox from italy??

post #283 of 292

Report from the long-time ttc-er.


I was just thinking today, as I read through the posts, that the 2ww doesn't really change. I've been ttc for the last 4 1/2 years (with a couple breaks for health and donor changes) and the feelings during the 2ww haven't changed a bit. I thought that I'd get used to it, that it would get easier. Sadly, I can report that it really doesn't get any easier. I've learned coping skills to deal with the emotional roller coaster but that doesn't change the hope, obsession and nerves of the 2ww or the despair of a bfn. I watch others on this forum, people very new to ttc or some who are just starting to edge into the "old hand" category, and I hope with all of my aching ttc/2ww heart that they don't have to go through as many as I have. 


Even after all I've been through, I still have hope. If I didn't I wouldn't still be putting myself through this! So I offer all of you strength, hope and the assurance that, if I can last this long and still be (generally) sane and hopeful, then you will find the strength in yourself to last as long as you need to as well. 


As for my current 2ww, my first back in the game after about a 5 month break, I'm still plodding along. I think I'm 6 or 7 dpo and my LP is usually 12 or 13 days. I'm anti-poas but my partner insists since my family tends to bleed in early pregnancy. 


My acupuncturist suggested I start practicing "Earthing" as a way to deal with inflammation and help blood flow to my uterus. Has anyone heard of this? It involves spending time daily with your bare skin (feet, legs, arms, whatev) on bare ground (not pavement but dirt) to literally ground the electrical charge that builds in the body. Not sure I buy it but, hey, spending 45min a day barefoot in my yard can't hurt!


Hope and luck to you all!



post #284 of 292

Hello All!


I have been lurking for a few months, but I figure it is time to jump in the fray.  My wife (2009) and I are proud parents to a 5 months old girl.  For #2, it's my turn! For my wife's pregnancy we followed the Brill book (Complete guide to lesbian conception,pregnancy, and birth) and got pregnant the second try.  We used frozen sperm from a willing to be known donor, and did two IUI's and one ICI each cycle.  She took Vitex, and kept an unused bag of fertility tea in the cupboard, but other than that we did not need pharmaceutical intervention.


I have been charting for the past month and a half, and plan to chart for another month and a half before inseminating.  We will be using the same donor, and the same methods.  I am using the "lily" program on my iphone to track, and I also have the OvaCue monitor.  I have OPK's, but couldn't catch a surge last cycle.  I also can't see ferns in my saliva.  I am confident that I ovulate, based on a host of other signs, but if I had to determine when to inseminate this cycle, I would be lost.  I am cycle day 9 at the moment.


I have greatly enjoyed reading your posts, and wish everyone the best.



post #285 of 292

Thank you and yes thats what i mean and thank you for the information.. I love this forum :)

post #286 of 292
MrsPP, so glad to hear DW's job is going well, it must be so relieving to be on her insurance, too! 50 days will be over before you know it.

Glad to have you back, lise!

Nosreves, your vacation sounds luscious and amazing. My mouth is watering. I am insanely jealous!

Yeledov, it's simultaneously reassuring and saddening that the 2ww doesn't change. You are certainly a testament to the triumph of persistence.

Isa, how soon before you find out? Are you getting a blood test or a regular pee stick pregnancy test?

Vienna, welcome!

Afu, we did our first insem this afternoon. It went okay, we'll see. Still not confident on our timing, but I don't know that we will really get any feeling about it until it's too late. Just doing the best we can! Next insem tomorrow.

CaNanny, you and DP are in my thoughts. I'm glad you are up late with me too smile.gif
post #287 of 292
Thread Starter 

I've added you to "waiting to O" handerson...I hope that's the right spot! :)

Thanks, nosreves, I appreciate the kind words. Your vacation sounds dreamy. I'm glad you had such a good time! I've never taken clomid so no feedback for you on that...lots of people on here have though so I'm sure you'll get lots of experienced words of wisdom :)


Yeledov, I'm sorry this journey has been so long for you. "Earthing" sounds interesting...can't hurt!


Welcome, Vienna! Are you trying the opks at different times of the day? I didn't catch the surge on them the first few months using them but I got pregnant so I know I was O'ing! I started testing twice a day for a couple of cycles and figured out the best time to catch my surge.

Congrats on the insem, Desert! Good luck tomorrow!


Afm: Looks like the m/c is ending about the same time a normal af would. I'll go for a hcg test on Tuesday to make sure it's back down to zero. It's pride weekend here...so happy pride from Vancouver!!

post #288 of 292

nosreves: I've taken Clomid 4 different cycles and each one seemed to bring slightly different side effects. One thing stayed consistent though, my usual abundant fertile cervical mucus was completely dried up. That is why it is often recommended that you only do IUI with Clomid. I usually used my CM to predict how close I am to ovulation so I had to change my game plan and be completely reliant on OPKs. If I ever do Clomid again I'm going to let them do ultrasound to predict ovulation. That would have taken a lot of stress out of my situation. 


Emotional side effects were the worse for me and they lasted for a few weeks after taking the med. I was either crying or short-tempered. One cycle I burst into tears at everything. I was at a coffeehouse and they repeated my order wrong, not made wrong just repeated wrong, and I started sobbing. Poor barista! The next cycle on it I thought I was doing pretty well but my partners told me later that I was a complete bitch. I was snarky and snapping at them for a few weeks. They knew it was the Clomid so they just let it happen. I was so embarrassed. I did have hot flashes one cycle. I had headaches during another but I can't tell if that was a side effect since I'm prone to them anyway. Some people don't get any side effects. Hopefully, you won't! My only advice in handling side effects would be to be gentle with yourself. 

post #289 of 292

Vienna - Welcome and good luck on your journey!


Carmen - I'm glad to heal you body is healing well.  Happy Pride to you and your family!


Desert - hope your second insem went well... Wrt timing erring on the side of early is good - remember the swimmer can hang around for a while!


Nosreves- your vacation sounds amazing! hope its just what you needed to get BFP! I got pregnant right after a vacation/break last time.  Let me know about how the clomid is treating you.  I'm considering clomid as well, but I'm worried about the possible side effects.


Henderson - the learning curve of fertility charting and TTC is pretty steep.  Try to not get overwhelmed with all the info -learn as much as possible to increase your chances and don't hesitate to ask for help.


afm - 4 DPO trying to stay busy and thinking what we should do if this try doesn't work out... keep trying without changing anything, IUI, clomid... peach schnapps and a random hook up in the back seat of the family minivan (seems to work so well for the teens who don't want to get pregnant :)

post #290 of 292

yeledov -- hiya! and thanks for all the info and advice.  i'm taking the clomid at night, as i heard the side-effects are less noticeable that way.  i've only taken it for two days so far, so the jury is out on whether or not that's true.  i am concerned about the fertile CM, though.  we have absolutely no way to do an IUI, so i'm using preseed, epo and guaifenesin.  hopefully, they will help a bit.   i also have a "prescription" for an ultrasound, and i'm just trying to decide when i should schedule it.  i'm doing the clomid cd2-6, and i was thinking that cd9 or 10 would be good, but those days fall on a weekend...meh.  right now i'm leaning towards cd11, but i have this horrible fear that i'll O before the u/s and completely miss out on insemming this cycle.  ah, how fun it is to be back on the ttc rollercoaster....   are you using any meds nowadays?  have you tried out the "earthing"?  i think i'd have a hard time finding a bare patch of dirt here, but it's definitely an intriguing idea.


ad astra -- salut! :)  and how are you?  i'll let you know about the clomid.  as i mentioned to yele, i'm freaking out a bit about timing the insems, and jah only knows if it will do anything for me other than completely dry up my already sparse CM.  i think the plan is to try it for three months and then start looking into going to Denmark.  are you having any symptoms now that you're getting a bit further into the tww?  i've got my fingers tightly crossed for you!  dust.gif

post #291 of 292


Nosreves: Taking Clomid at night seemed to help me a bit with any physical side effects. Unfortunately all my emotional side effects happened after finishing the meds. It sounds like you've got the fertile CM thing covered! I started taking EPO 2 cycles ago, stopping once I've O'd, to help with possibly acidic CM. I'd noticed my CM getting a little less plentiful as I get older so I thought I'd help it out. (Ah, the joys of ttc over 35yrs old, eh?) The EPO definitely helped! I was also recommended by a friend to drink plenty of green tea, decaf if possible, leading up to the fertile period. I am a big green tea drinker anyway so I don't know if that helped me but my friend swore by it. I don't know if this helps you but my doc said she schedules the follicle u/s for CD 11. Clomid delayed my O a couple days last time I took it, compared to a non-med cycle, so CD 11 seemed more than a safe bet. However, I did start using the OPKs about CD 8 just in case.  I'm not taking any fertility drugs this cycle but I'm on a ton of herbals and supplements. I've been doing the earthing thing and finding it rather pleasant. I'm not sure if it is helping with inflammation or fertility but it is relaxing. I'm lucky enough to have a house with a decent, if kind of unkempt, yard and my city is all about the green spaces so we have parks every few miles here. It is relaxing in summer but I'm not sure if I'll be as regular when it starts to get cold here! Standing barefoot in pouring rain doesn't sound appealing. One of my partners is studying the French language and researching Paris in particular for story fodder so I've been hearing a lot about the city! I've never had the chance to visit it but it sounds like an amazing place, even without a lot of green spaces. :)

post #292 of 292
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