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Queer and Pregnant: July, August, and September - Page 11

post #201 of 641
AmandaHope, I would not be alone. My mom works 10 minutes away, my ex would even come help if I asked. I could not physically catch Ari, I would like help. I imagine Sara would like to be there for the birth of her first child, and I would like her there. I went into labor at 4:26 pm with the first 2 and I am hopeful that happens again.
post #202 of 641

Seraf- I mostly just want a girl because I helped raise my two little sisters and have never really been around baby boys. Never changed a boy diaper! I babysat a lot also after I turned about 11 and it always seemed to be girls when there was a baby. I would just feel like unprepared or something. Although I guess thats ridiculous now that I write it out LOL. Another reason is DP really wants to circ and I see no point in it. But if we don't circ then "I'm the one making all the baby decisions", an arguement I don't want to have. And I hope that the baby agree's with Friday the 4th! It would totally suck if Sara had to miss the birth.


Indigo- I hope the final report is what you are hoping for.


AFM, Going in for a nuchal translucency ultrasound on Monday. I'm not too worried about it but our insurance covers it so, why not? As for my uterus the most recent news I got was it is definitely bicornuate and MW says she can refer me to a specialist but that person that reviewed my ultrasounds did not recomend it. Oh, how long is it okay to sleep on my stomach for? I feel like there was at least 2 other things I was going to ask advice about and they all seem to have slipped my mind! Happens every time I go to the MW too blah!


This puppy is nothing but trouble, dont let his cute face fool you lol, he cries all night and either sleeps during the day or thinks my fingers and toes are his personal toys to chew on. His name is Marley and he is black lab and german shepard, 7 weeks old.


post #203 of 641

Crystal ... I'll chime in on a good reason not to do the nuchal translucency screen, if you don't have strong feelings either way.

There is a pretty high rate of false positives with the test, which tends to result in a lot of worry and fear for expectant folks, which makes it a lot harder to enjoy what typically ends up being a perfectly healthy baby, in the case of false positives. 

Often, the false positive leads to an amniocentesis, which comes with its own set of unique risks to the baby.

Would any particular result (Downs, Trisome 18) affect your decision to proceed with the pregnancy?  If not, then there's another reason not to to the test. 

I'm firmly entrenched in the fewer interventions, tests, procedures, ultrasounds, etc, the better ... can you tell?

As with everything -- of course -- the decision is completely up to you!

And if you need support in getting DP onside with keeping your potential boy intact, we can certainly help you with that too.  There's a great subforum full of resources and information. 

By the way, your dog looks like a truly adorable bundle of nothing but trouble! 


ps.  I hear you on drawing a blank when you go to the mw.  Finally, at my last appointment she said, "You know, you often say that you had things in mind to bring up but have forgotten ... how about making a few notes before you come next time?"  Funny.


post #204 of 641

Crystal, cute puppy.  We used to have a shepard mix named Marley.  Ditto what Starling said about there being a great forum and I skipped the NT because I had a few friends who got false positive and went on to have horribly stressful pregnancies and deliveries only to be relieved when the baby arrived totally healthy.  I have worried about the boy thing because Sara is Jewish and while she and I are on the same page regarding circ, I'm fairly sure her parents are not.  Not to be totally sexist, but boys are easier on just about everything but potty training.  I'm not going to say much on circ, if you want more info I would be happy to give it, but seeing that you're in Cali... Last I heard the circ rate in Ca is down to 13% (unlike Ohio, where it's 83%) so if you have a son and choose to leave the decision up to him when he reaches adulthood you won't have to put up with the common arguments about other kids in the locker room or doctors not knowing how to deal with intact boys.  About you making all the baby decisions, there are plenty others to make (since I obviously don't think circ is a baby decision, it is going to affect his sex life a lot more than my parenting), like: should the baby sleep on my side of the bed or in the middle?  How will she feed him?  What will she feed him?  When to introduce solids?  Where will the baby void?  Flats? Prefolds? Fitteds? Wool, PUL or fleece covers?  Peek-a-boo or tickle monster?  What will the baby wear?  How gendered or gender neutral is prefered?  Battery operated toys?  Wooden toys? Mix? Books?  Which books?  How many times a day will we read to the baby?  Daycare or family care?  Which carseat?  What songs to sing?       So, decisions by the billions.  


I measured my fundus during a contraction and it was 28 cm, measured after and it was 24.  I thought that was pretty funny.  Had brief thoughts about twins.


post #205 of 641

we had an ob appt yesterday.  dp's blood pressure is good, we heard the heartbeat and her uterus is measuring on target.  the nurse was surprised that dp had felt movement AND a kick on the outside until we reminded her that we grow big babies.  lol.  dp had blood drawn for her thyroid hormones too.  at our next appt we will have the 20 weeks scan!!!!  our friend mom at daycare is having a girl after 2 boys.  :) 


as for the report - well, they decided there wasn't enough evidence to proceed (wtf, i witnessed it and another parent witnessed it and that's not enough????) so the investigation has been dropped.  i guess we should have called the police or dfacs and not trusted that the daycare management would deal with it in a proper fashion.  we have learned a valuable lesson though - no more ms. nice guy from dp or i if we are ever faced with this situation again.  i have been playing phone tag with the vp but hope to get with him today.  we are so glad we moved ds1 to a new place.  yesterday they had a small water slide outside and ds1 was so exhausted that he fell asleep at 6pm!  his teacher said he was an energy-filled nutball on the slide, lol!


crystal, we did not do the nt scan thingie either with any of our pregnancies.  we know of three families who had false positives.



post #206 of 641

Crystal, I totally forgot about stomach sleeping.  It's uncomfortable before it's unsafe.  I have slept flat on my stomach with all 3 pregnancies from time to time.  It will start to feel like you're trying to sleep balanced on a basketball.  Anyway, I just put one leg up a little and it takes the pressure off the belly.  I recently started putting a pillow under that knee.  I'm thinking I would do better to roll off my belly soon because I'm worried about another posterior baby and I wonder if that is part of it.

post #207 of 641
Thread Starter 
Hi Everyone,

Indigo: I'm glad that your appointment went well. It's exciting that your 20 week scan is coming soon! Are you planning to find out the sex?

Crystal: Your puppy is darling! I think deciding on the NT scan is really hard. We did not do it with this pregnancy, but I can imagine doing it with a future pregnancy. I do think it is important to realize that at your age the risk of downs is extremely low and that you are much more likely to get a false positive than get an actual diagnosis of something being wrong. Are you comfortable doing amniocentesis if the scan does come up positive? Good luck!

AmandaHope: I'm sorry you were being overwhelmed by your in-laws. I hope that you were able to talk to your DP about that today. I'm glad you're loving wearing your baby! Hey--is it Liliah or Lilah?

Seraf: It's exciting that Sara has an interesting job possibility! I hope that works out for her. I'm still guessing I'm having a boy, but I really have no clue. What are you sewing these days?

Starling: A labor playlist is something I just realized this week I should probably consider. What's on yours? I'm sorry you're not sleeping much either.

Mami: Good luck with your move! I hope it goes smoothly.

AFM: I think I'm in the third trimester! Wow. For so long the third trimester seemed like some other-worldly place, a place that some other kind of pregnant people went where I would never go. And now I am here! Pregnancy certainly continues to be surprising. Do you think at some point I'll actually get to the baby part? orngtongue.gif
post #208 of 641

Seraf and Escher ... What's on my playlist so far, keeping in mind that it is most definitely a work in progress:


Pony Boy - Elizabeth Mitchell (I've been singing this to the little bump for a while now.)

Closer to Fine - Indigo Girls

The Lucky One - Alison Kraus

32 Flavours - Ani

Morning Has Broken - Cat Stevens

Ole Buffalo - Bill Bourne

Hard Sun - Eddie Vedder

I and Love and You - Avett Brothers

Il Pleure - Art of Noise

Tuolomne - Eddie Vedder

Teach Your Children - Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young

Rise - Eddie Vedder

Path of Thorns - Sarah McLachlan

Oh My God - Micheal Franti

Tongues - Michael Franti

Anchorage - Michelle Shocked

Jolene - Ray LaMontangne

God Willin and the Creek Don't Rise - Ray LaMontagne

Beg, Steal, Borrow - Ray LaMontagne

Goodbye Grace - Spirit of the West

Trust in Love - Bill Bourne

Byami (Our Creator) - Ganga Giri

Let Go - Zero 7

Drawn to the Rhythm - Sarah McLachlan



As you can see ... I'm drawn to more male energy on this playlist than I normally am, and might load it a little more heavy with male artists.  I've got some mellow, and some intense.  Lots of heavy trance tribal beat stuff at the end, from DJ's I love.  Lots of folky, make-me-cry songs on there too.  Some personal anthems for me, which always sooth.  The list above is just a slice.  The actual playlist is really long and needs some serious trimming.  Anyone got good songs I should know about or remember?

post #209 of 641
Starling, Landing Gear -Ani DiFranco was the one song I can truly remember from labor... makes me cry just thinking about it, I can remember those moments better than most of the rest of my labor.
post #210 of 641

The only real reason I have to do the NT is because me and DP want to see the baby again now that it looks more like a baby than a blob. I would not get the amnio if the results were positive. I was thinking maybe they can tell DP the results instead of me because if it is positive even with the stats you guys are giving me I'm sure I'd still worry. Since I wont be monitored more often with my bicornuate uterus it would give me peace of mind to be able to see how the baby is fitting in there now and see if it looks like there will be sufficient room for growth. Otherwise we wont have an ultrasound until 20 weeks.


I remembered the other question I had! My cousin/best friend is planning our baby shower and I'm due Feb 3 and I'm wondering when would it be smart to have the shower? Especially since I am at risk for having the baby early.

post #211 of 641

OOooooooh, GOOD one, Wehrli!  Off to add that one to the list!  For me, the playlist is about the lead up to and anticipation of the baby more than anything else.  I love songs that help me dream of the child this baby will become. 


Crystal ... I'm a firm believer of showers being held after the baby arrives, but I know that I'm in a teeny tiny minority when it comes to that.  Hopefully other folks will speak up?

post #212 of 641

Threadcrashing....we were/are firm believers in post birth showers too! It was more of a 'meet the baby' thing for us.


I had a long playlist picked out for labour with DD, lots of belle and sebastian, van morrison, zero 7, sia, be good tanyas....I didn't want music during labour it turned out though. I do remember laying in bed with Skylar afterwards though and our doula pushed play on the ipod and then danced to Al Green's "Let's Stay Together" with the midwife that caught DD :)

post #213 of 641

Hey ladies~ Another hot and sweaty morning in Oklahoma. UGH!!!  It's supposed to be this way until mid-September, by which time I will have gone bankrupt and insane from camping out in front of the air conditioner.


Amy? Baby yet? How about now?



Starling~ I'm loving your playlist! I'm not a very 'musical' person so I always rely on other people to introduce me to good songs. I've not heard everything you have down, so I'll have to go seek it out. Though I have to say to you and AHope that as someone who WISHES she had editorial changes to make for a forthcoming novel, you get no sympathy from me winky.gif



Indigo~ So exciting about external kicking! MY fave moment was when Alice finally got strong enough to kick the cat that was resting on my tummy. Funny!


Crystal~  I hear you about wanting to see the baby. I know there are lots of strong feelings about ultrasounds, but I welcomed every chance I got to look at her and watch her move. Especially before I was able to feel her moving and just had to assume that she was still ok.


Seraf~ No posterior babies! Though how you managed to lie on your tummy even with a pillow is beyond me.


Escher~ Woot for the third tri!!  It'll go in a flash I'm sure and then you'll be all babified! I was cleaning out stuff in the bathroom and remembered sending you the magic OPKs and now your kiddo's not far away!!


Other people I'm missing/forgetting~ Hello and keep cool!!



AFM~ Monday and Tuesday I have to go to workshops for school and that's the first step to actually being back at work and it's just now sinking in how hard this transition's going to be. It's going to be so impossibly tough to be away from her that long AND we've had a last-minute crisis where DP's evening class she was teaching didn't 'make', so now we suddenly need daycare two days a week. Shit!!  Not sure what we're going to do if we can't find it.  So the long lovely babymoon is almost over and all the worries are starting to pile up.   The good news is that everything's in place for our UK wedding next summer.  Instead of flying we're sailing over on the Queen Mary!!  I've always wanted to make a Transatlantic crossing, I just never realized I'd get to do it so soon. 


Ok, off to call day care centers (YUCK! NO!!!!!!) and see if I can squeeze in some of my own writing/other work before Miss Thing wakes up...  Love to you all xoxox

post #214 of 641

Starling--Many songs by Florence and the Machine for higher energy. My babe always moves to the Drumming Song. Rome by Nickel Creek. Unique sounding more high energy song. For soothing/ /inspiration/insight I'll have a fair amount of Waylin' Jennys, Patty Griffin, Natalie Merchant, Rachel Sage, Spearhead/Franti, some Tori Amos, some Michelle Malone, Wilco, Brandi Carlile, etc. I'll post my list at some point too. 


Crystal--I don't sleep on my stomach anymore, although I'm normally a stomach only sleeper. It took a number of days full of hip-pain but I'm finally used to side sleeping. I tried the full body pillow and it was too much for me. Now I have a boppy "C" pillow between my legs and one of those little wedges either in the small of my back or under my belly. I took me awhile, and many tries with regular pillows, to spend $$$ on special pillows. But, they make a huge difference for me. I even took them backpacking (ok, it was really just a 1.5 mile walk-in site, but still, I hauled them). Also, the scan/testing decisions are hard, but from all I've read you do have such a low, low likelihood of the kinds of stuff they screen for in your 20s. But, sending you support for whatever you choose. And, oh that pup. Certainly looks like he's ready for trouble. 


Escher--hehehehe. I totally agree. I remember looking at everyone else on here thinking "wow, 20 weeks, is that going to happen?" The more movement I've got the more I understand that a baby is coming. But, really, it's usually just in brief holy sh*t moments. It sort of feels like she's just going to hang around in there and flip flop forever. 


Indigo--I'm so sorry the investigation didn't work out. Ugh, what a way to learn you have to become more vigilant and take harder action. I'm glad he's in a better place now.


Seref--ooh, twins. You two are going to have a serious houseful at some point. I can't remember, did you have a U/S that confirmed a singleton or twins. Maybe that's what you got. 


Library--I can't believe your back to work transition is coming so soon. Feels like you just had her. I hope it goes as well as possible, with a minimum of stress and worry. Wedding stuff is so exciting and yours sound really incredible!!


Wehrli--Just wondering how things are going w/DP. No worries if you don't want to talk about it... just thinking of you. 


AFM--All well here. I passed my GTT, all four tests. Thank goodness. My mom's coming in today for a short visit (which is just about right for us). Baby's kicking and rolling lots, which I of course love. The one thing going on is that I can't seem to gain weight. This is a really unusual problem for me. At my last MW appt. 3 weeks ago I hadn't gained a lb. in the previous month. Now, on my own home scale, I still don't seem to be gaining. I've gained 14 since week 5 though, so maybe this is all ok? Other than that small worry (seems smaller than earlier preg worries), all is good. Take care!







post #215 of 641
julietea, thanks for your concern! things are going better... it was AF for her and once that was gone she felt much better. she is by no means all better but she's/we're working on it. smile.gif
post #216 of 641

I am a TOTAL belly sleeper. And what is a good nights sleep these days? I would complain, but then I feel the little nugget kick and it reminds me that I am in love with him, so no complaining. BUT...I will say, this is the greatest invention EVER http://www.amazon.com/Snoogle-Chic-Pregnancy-Easy-off-Zippered/dp/B002XNK2VO. DP bought it for me when I was only 6 weeks. I am pretty sure it will never leave our bed. biggrinbounce.gif


I love the idea of having a post shower. I've even suggested it to our families and peers, with no luck of doing so. To date, we have 5 (yes, FIVE) showers planned. I am very thankful that our families, friends and coworkers want to have these for us, but I am one to plan the shower rather than being front & center. I would love to combine them, but there's about 400-600 miles difference between all of them. So, I'll just smile and eat lots of cake over the course of the next 4 months.


Regarding ultrasounds, I am all about having them. I'd have one daily if possible. I had to go back this past Thursday for a follow up to the anatomy scan. (Little man didn't want to let the tech take a picture of his heart the last time, so they did a follow up.) I love seeing his little face in there, kicking and playing with this feet/hands. Already, I can see such a personality developing. The baby was laying on his belly, which isn't ideal for the heart picture. The tech tried moving him, I tried moving him, but he wasn't budging in the least. Finally, she was poking on my belly rapidly with the u/s wand, and it was as if he turned, looked at us, and kicked the wand. I was cracking up! Of course, he immediately flipped to his belly again. After about 10 minutes, she was able to get the heart picture she needed and he looks perfect! (Currently 12 inches long and weighs 1 lb.) The cost does add up with having so many u/s but to me it's well worth it to see the little one and know he is progressing.


AFM - all is good here. I've gained 3lbs as of 22wks, which makes me happy. I am having some yucky headaches, but my blood pressure is good, so the doc isn't worried one bit. The little guy is kicking away for hours on end. I swear he's part kangaroo. His favorite times of day seems to be 5am and 11pm. irked.gif We finally bought our nursery furniture and have began shopping for decor and some clothes. (99% sure we're doing a sailboat theme. No name just yet.) I am trying to decide if I want to use Flips or gDiapers upon his arrival. But...one final piece of good news is that my last name as legally been changed to DP's. Now, our whole family will have the same name. We're beyond thrilled! love.gif


Hope everyone is doing well and hanging in there!

post #217 of 641
Today's my due date, and I'm still pregnant. eyesroll.gif

Yesterday was my last day at work until I go back half time in October. We're running a few last errands today, and tidying up the house. My family is en route from MN, but taking their time (two nights at a ranch in Wyoming, a stop in Yellowstone), and should get here on Thursday. I'm still hoping baby arrives before they do! I've made fun "if I'm still pregnant" plans for the next few days to keep my mind off of baby. Harry Potter is on the docket for Tuesday. I can't remember the last time I went to a weekday matinee!

AmandaHope--our plan is a home birth, which our excellent doctor/midwife (she'll be his pediatrician, too, and see me when I'm not pregnant) and one or two of her students (one might be taking her boards, depending on when i go into labor). We have our inflatable birth pool all ready to go. Just waiting for labor to start...

MizYellow and AmandaHope--how are the wee ones?

2ez--I'm glad you got to peek at your little nugget!

Library--PDX is having the coolest summer on record in like 50 years. Come visit! We might finally hit 80 thus week (just in time for me to be home, not in the air conditioned office).

Wehrli--I'm glad things are looking better, even if there's more work to do.

Julietea--yay for passing the GTT!
post #218 of 641

PUPPS!  Anyone else had this?  Mine started right before delivery, but then got worse afterwards instead of resolving.  I'm going out of my mind with itching, even on the steroids.  Advice, suggestions, anyone?  Please?

post #219 of 641
Pigirl, I'm sorry, I know nothing. I hear it's awful and hope you feel better soon.

Yellow and AmandaHope, hope you girls are enjoying your weekend with those sweet babes.

Amy, good luck with your wait.

2ez, what a crazy looking pillow, how do you use it?

Julie, contests on passing your gtt. My grandmas both told me they weren't allowed to gain more than 5 pounds total, so it seems like the weight gain thing has some lee way. So long as the baby is growing, things are probably good. Was your midwife worried? And no, I didn't have an ultrasound. I was laughing about the idea of twins because my fundal height changed 4 cm in about 4 minutes.

Library, sorry you're needingto make a day are decision. That doesn't sound fun at all.

Starling, I never had a labor playlist. I wanted quiet with O and A's was too quick to think about it. Michael franti, tho. I haven't thought about him in a long time. I think I have seen him in concert more than anyone else I've ever seen.

Crystal, my family does the pre-baby shower about a month before the due date. We only do showers for firsts. Amusingly, no one even bothered to come meet the baby after the first.

Escher, I think you are just not ready to think about getting the baby out? Lol. You will have your hands on a baby before you know it. I haven't been sewing much, I need to get a book for my serger. I keep messing it up. Lately I have made a baby blanket from a shirt, a skirt for Sara, boxer briefs for a young friend and I finished another wool cover. The 2012 ikea catalog is all about living comfortably in a small space. Of course, the rooms photographed are huge.

Things here are good. We had a lovely trip to Pittsburg and visited lots of people. We were given lots of clothes and diapers for the new baby (barely fit in the car) and had a fun ikea run. New shelves to hang, yay!
post #220 of 641

Thread-crashing to give some recommendations to pigirl!


Sorry you have PUPPS :( You can try some liver-supportive herbs like nettles and milk thistle in a tincture form to help get rid of it. For relief in the meantime, the best results I've seen come from using pine tar/black tar soap (here's an example, though I would just go to your local health-food store: http://www.amazon.com/Coal-Soap-Black-110g-Brand/dp/B0002DTUME) only on the itchy areas. Then when you get out of the shower, slather on hydrocortisone and then a layer of a greasy balm to hold it in, like Badger Balm or Herbal Ed's salve. I've also had clients have success with acupuncture...


Best of luck!!

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