Library - thanks for the laugh! I needed that to start my day!
Queer and Pregnant: July, August, and September - Page 30
Seraf: Hope you have a wonderful day full of adventures in DC. Btw, Z still does everything she can to negotiate company at bedtime, but we've worked out a nice routine. One of us (usually DP these days) reads to her, she reads to herself, and then we come in to do a lights-out cuddle. We then check on her every ten minutes for a brief kiss, though we usually stretch out the 10 minutes as time goes on. She knows that she'll keep seeing us regularly this way until she falls asleep, but we don't have to stay in there with her.
Library: Hilarious story. Wow. Thanks for the giggle.
My little girl looks so handsome today in a navy and white little outfit. I'll try to take a pic later. We needed a break from the pink.
Library—I’ve seen a few ‘dressed up for picture day’ photos on my facebook and yes, they all do look like they’re ready for prom, even if they’re only 6 years old…I, too, am glad you’re not so fat anymore. It was really disturbing for a while there. What a weird conversation! People really do think they can say anything, don’t they?
Mami—I’m so glad the teacher is getting some punishment for the abuse! And sorry that you can’t sleep! Ah well, all worth it in the end, right? Right? Anybody?
Escher—have fun with the last-minute nesting! I hope that you get all of that done and then exactly two relaxing days later have the baby. I’ll put in a good word for you with the baby fairies to make it happen that way. I’d be ok with being the next threadkeeper if no one else wants it—being where you describe in the process, and all.
Ahope—aww, that’s sweet. I’m glad someone likes the old ladies cooing over the baby—I watched a weird thread on facebook today about how all of these new moms are slapping away hands headed for the stroller (although one said that she did that after the woman didn’t heed her request to not move the blanket off of the carseat to get a look at the sleeping baby, which I do understand). Still, I’m glad that there are babies out there that can be cooed at with no consequences, since I am a (non-touching) offender.
Seraf—I hope your trip has improved since day 1! And I’m so sorry for all of you with the hurting hands! What a crappy symptom!
AFM—bought a belly band thing at Target, which is helping with the pants, and found a couple good options at the thrift store to add to my stash of pregnancy clothes (thanks, Amanda!)—some of them are still too belly-focused to wear yet, but I think I’ll be able to start rotating them in so I don’t look like a sausage all of the time anymore. Yesterday we had a little scare with the dr saying we HAD to come in for the first trimester screen—luckily it was the fact that it was a voicemail that was the problem—when I wrote to say we wanted to skip all of those tests except for the anatomy scan at 20 weeks she said that it was no problem and that she had just forgotten to talk to us about it at the appointment (and if we wanted to do it we needed to within the next week). Also started telling the family about our big news. Very sweet responses from everyone except my evil aunt—it’s amazing that I managed to muster more enthusiasm for her adopting a dog than she can for me having a child. But she’s the only one. Which didn’t stop me from lying awake last night for almost three hours thinking of clever responses, having nasty confrontations, and otherwise stewing about it. This morning I wrote back as though she had been sincerely excited for us and am planning to be the bigger person. Still sucks, though. Looking forward to going more public to friends on Tuesday and getting more nice comments!
Wowza, Starling. That sure sounds like labor. By the time it kicks in, you're going to be in transition. Hang in there!
Indigo: UGH. Clean up crew sounds rough. Glad everyone seems to be on the mend.
Escher: How's the nesting going?
Library: Are you getting your relaxing weekend? Did you make it to the fair?
Isa: I know exactly what you mean about knowing that the nasty Aunt's comments shouldn't matter but getting obsessed with responses after the fact anyway, and stewing about it. I'm sorry you have to deal with such nastiness at all and happy that others are giving you more supportive, loving, and excited responses. I for one am SUPER excited for you! Still! And yes, the kid has lead to our being even more out, but that has almost always been perfectly fine, even welcome. It takes a bit of getting used to, but as long as most family, neighbors, school administrators, etc. are open-minded (our experience even in more conservative areas like South Bend), it seems to work out well. I like the blend of cultural politics and family life, actually, but we've been fortunate to encounter only a few truly homophobic people. Also, the belly band thing is great. I got one in black and one in white and still use them to cover my belly if I'm not wearing a nursing shirt and to make up the difference with my pre-preggo clothes that still don't fit (grr).
AFM: Painful discussion/argument with DP last night has left both of us feeling sad and tender but also closer. Sigh. Lilah is snoring away in the sling--tummy troubles making sleeping horizontal too hard. I could get more done (esp. helping DP with cleaning) if she'd sleep elsewhere, but I also LOVE having a sleeping bundle against my chest all afternoon. She slept on my chest for part of the night, too. I'm afraid the dairy is making her reflux and gas worse and am not sure how much longer to try before just giving up and resigning myself to life without dairy for the foreseeable future. Maybe a few more days. I just remembered that goat's milk cheese isn't dairy, right? This seems basic, but it hadn't occurred to me that I could eat it, and I love it, so maybe I could survive dairy free for the long term. Maybe.
AmandaHope: I'm sorry that you had a painful discussion with your DP. That's always hard. And I'm sorry that Lilah is still having tummy troubles. I think goat cheese sounds like a great option.
Starling: I'm so sorry that your hands are swollen and painful. You're so close to meeting your baby, but I can imagine this last bit of waiting is challenging. I hope that your little guy decides to make his appearance soon! It's amazing that you're 38 weeks now. Wow.
Indigo: Yuck! I'm glad that you're all starting to feel a bit better. I hope the puking is over soon!
Isa: I love my bellaband. I used it at the beginning of this pregnancy and liked it, then I stopped using it for many months, and now it is absolutely my single most useful piece of clothing. I don't know how I would survive without it at this point, since absolutely nothing fits right anymore. I'm glad your family was generally great, but I'm sorry you had to deal with your evil aunt. That's no fun at all. Thanks for being willing to be the next threadkeeper!
Library: That is a hilarious story about May. People can be so odd sometimes.
Hi to everyone else!
AFM: My wife and I had a lovely time on Saturday with Seraf, Sara, and their sweet children. Osh and Ari were delightful and funny, and they shared lots of interesting animal facts (Osh) and noises (Ari). I wish they lived closer to us so we could see them more often!
I mostly am feeling pretty big these days, but I was surprised on Saturday to meet two other pregnant people who seemed to be about the same size as me but who aren't due until February. Of course then at the grocery store today someone asked when I was due, and when I said late October she wanted to know if I was sure that I'm not expecting twins. Yep, pretty sure.
Standing continues to be fairly painful for my lower back. My midwife suggested that I get a support belt, but I'm feeling resistant. Does anyone have experience with using one?
Isa... a little forward motion I suppose. As of last Thursday's MW appointment, I was 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. At 37 weeks that freaked us out. DW and I both have a fair amount to do at work to sign off contentedly. So, she worked two long days in a row to try to wrap some stuff up... I'm a little too easily fatigued to kill myself at work right now. But, I've spoken to a number of people that sat at a couple of cms for days or weeks. I still don't feel like she's coming out too soon. I'm still mulling over the encapsulation. It's expensive, but my step father just sent me $100, which I could us to offset the cost. I can't imagine that he quite expected his gift to go toward processing my placenta. I'm so sorry to hear about your Aunt, but it sounds like you were certainly the bigger person in your reply.
Starling... thanks so much for the advice on the formula. Good advice it is... I don't want to give in from worry, and I imagine that will be my biggest worry in the first days... not enough food for the babe. I thought it might be best to know which way to go if we have to supplement. We'll see. A while ago when I noticed a bit of dried colostrum I felt quite hopeful. Then, out of curiosity (read worry), I've tried to express some without much success over the last few weeks. So, I'm unfortunately feeling a little less confident. I guess I was also hoping that there was some wonder formula that stood far above the rest if supplementing becomes necessary. Very sorry your hands are in so much pain. Hoping you can rest and watch the flow of your labor signs.
Indigo.... oooch, sorry about your family-wide tummy bug. Hope it's over very quickly.
Amanda... I'm sorry to hear about the painful discussion with your DP, but glad you quickly came closer. Sometimes things just need to be spoken and worked, and, to me, it feels like testament to the strength of a relationship when some understanding and closeness out of the hard stuff. Goat cheese would keep me going too, and now they make so many types of cheese out of goat's milk... hard, soft, etc. Goat milk sound good?
Library... good lord, those neighbors!!
Escher... folks' belly perceptions can be so weird. Last week one of my colleagues said "Wow, you don't look full term!" And, so many others keep mentioning how big I look. Someone gave me a support belt, but I haven't even tried it on. I can't imagine strapping something so tight around my belly right now. But, the bellaband does some for me. You?
AFM: I'm working from home now, which is really nice. I left the office on Friday hoping I'll get the chance to come back after maternity leave. The head of my agency just announced that he'd make his decision about lay-offs and tell us about it during the week of 10/17--which is the week after I'm due. Anyway, I don't have one bit of control over that situation so I'm trying to let it go. A photographer friend came over today and took belly/maternity pics. Very sweet. DW kept trying to back out of the pics but we kept reminding her that she's the mama too and should be in the pics belly or no. Hi to everyone I missed and I hope your weeks start off well!
Gosh, Julie ... talking about being centimetres dilated for ages, that's me. Going on a week now! Was 4cm, now 6cm and stretchy and 80% effaced, with not much going on consistantly. That happened in my last pregnancy too. Sat at 6cm and 80% effaced for about a week before being induced for pre-e, then had swift (in my books anyway) labour that was four hours start to finish. It was four hours of being on a speeding out of control train, mind you, but it was fast.
Who knows this time? Going swimming with dd tomorrow morning, let's just hope it's not a water birth in a public pool! Hahahaha!
DC was lovely. More on that later.
Starling, a home birth should be perfect if you're looking at that fast of a labor. I'm sorry about your hands. I never understood how bad they could hurt. Good luck and enjoy your girls as long as you can (and 6 cm, wow! I only checked myself once during labor, I guessed it was about 7 cm and Ari was born about half an hour later).
Library, your neighbor story made me laugh. Were you wearing a coat a lot of the time? I know I got a lot of attention from men when I was 3rd trimester with O, I always figured it was because the coat hid the bump.
AmandaHope, did I see something about you mentioning a pic of a sweet baby L in a navy outfit? Ari does ok with goat dairy (their mama has a goat farm), it may work well for your little barfer, too. Now that you're accustomed to the maya wrap, what are your favorite carries/positions?
Indigo, so sorry to hear about all the puke in your house. Hope everyone is on the mend.
Isa, being the bigger one is probably a good idea. Especially in writing. Hope you're feeling well.
Julie, wow on the work front. Good luck with that. Aren't there laws about laying people off when they're on maternity leave?
Escher, I feel you on not feeling prepared. I know very well that I have everything I could possibly need for a newborn (except a carseat). What I don't have is all the stuff for my own incapacitation (and I know I won't really be that bad). I don't feel like my financial house is in order, I don't have my freezer stocked. I don't have my car sold or my house clean and organized. I don't have my voting stuff changed. Yikes. I'm term in 3 weeks but I can't have the baby for 4 weeks and 2 days. I also feel you on the back pain. I have never tried a support belt. Last week I used a sling to wrap my back/belly and it was pretty comfortable for me, but I think it made R grumpy. She freaked out and turned posterior to attack the sling. I had it tied lower about half the time we were in DC (about my hips) but I couldn't tell you if it helped since I was walking around non-stop or carrying 50 pounds of kid for 2 days. Oh, you look pretty well perfect for me. You don't look huge or tiny. I am asked if I'm expecting twins at least weekly. When people ask, say, "I'm term next week." They will realize that means you're almost there.
Crap, battery is about to die.
DC was great. Kids were exhausted most of it. So were we. Escher and her partner were lovely despite the fact that half the time we saw them, Sara or I were looking for bathrooms.
Starling—So sorry that it keeps teasing you that way!
AHope—thanks for the encouragement! Honestly, my grandma’s good response was enough to make me feel much better, since she used to be kind of sharp (but has mellowed with age, thankfully!). Sorry about the argument, and about the dairy! I hope the goat cheese works (mm…goat cheese…mm…) and remember—it’s not forever! You’ll be back on cheese by next summer, at least, right? Hopefully?
Escher—I’m sorry about your back—it might help to try it out and see if you get any relief! But nice to get in a visit with the Sara family! I swear, all you mamas of older children make all of this seem so doable, since your kids are all so sweet!
Julietea—I’d say (with my wealth of experience over here) to not worry about making too little milk until there’s a problem. Most likely it’ll kick in once there’s a baby there, and if it doesn’t it’s not like the formula companies are going anywhere, you know? How nice to work from home! I hope the layoffs don’t touch you!
Seraf—glad you had a good trip—sometimes a tour of the plumbing facilities along the East Coast can be very instructional! Why can’t you have the baby for 4 more weeks? Are you trying to wait until Sara’s out of the 1st trimester and stops feeling so crappy?
AFM—really lovely weekend, punctuated by my new, fancy pregnancy symptom! Debilitating headaches! They’re so much fun, I must say! Any advice on getting rid of them? I can’t lie down/go to a dark room for most of the day, which seems to be the main advice. I’ve taken a few Tylenols over the weekend but I don’t like doing it—mostly only when I have to be somewhere. Halp!
Morning sickness has hit me hard. The entire time we were in DC I was looking for a 'safe' place to throw up, just incase. I nearly didn't make it at one point on the train. I feel like theres hair in the back of my mouth constantly and that was making me gag a whole lot. And then this morning, bam, no more 'just gaging' for me. I got sick, a few times. I'm feeling better now, able to eat, not queasy at all.
I have my first doctors appointment today, this afternoon. I'm looking forward to it but I wish Sara was able to come.
I'm feeling really stressed about the house and making it clean before the baby comes, but I cannot bring myself to do it today. I have to edit pictures before anything else happens anyways!
Julie, I know for a fact that I'm a milk fountain and I know very well how to hand express but I have only gotten about 3 drops out so far this pregnancy. I'm guessing there is little correlation. Also, I would work hard on nursing in the beginning. You can't get that time back, but the baby gets very little milk the first few days. No worries. It's like a tablespoon per feeding the first day. http://www.ehow.com/info_7943508_infant-milk-requirements.html
Escher, Do you have a barstool? If you can pull that up sometimes while working or cooking or whatever has you on your feet so much, it may help. I have recently come to adore them. Its easier to stand back up and I don't feel like it takes away my breath as much as sitting, and it hurts my back less than standing.
Isa, I actually really like looking in bathrooms. I love the hand washing and drying technologies out there and DC did not disappoint. I have to wait 4 weeks and 2 days until I'm done with work. I don't think they will replace me quickly even tho someone has been hired and I really don't want to go into labor at work since it's an hour from home and I neither want to drive during labor nor wait here an hour for a ride and give birth in their house. Thanks for saying we make it look easy. I swear this trip was harder than camping between morning sickness, Braxton hicks, frequent urination, poor sleep all around, food preferences, a day of rain, sore feet, swollen hands and traffic it was pretty amazing we even pulled it off.
The trip really was fun, I'm pretty good at forgetting the rough spots. Sara wants to go back in a few months with only one baby and one bump. She wants to see the stuff and really get to see it. We spent very little time in the holocaust museum and of course I bawled all the way through it. And we only saw a few things out of the hundreds (thousands?) of things to see there.
QOTD: how fem or butch or whatever are you and your partner and how do you see that affecting your roles in childrearing and family-ing in general?
Seraf: Sitting down does help my back. I should think about using a stool more often. I don't think I'm ready to say I'm term next week. I am still so totally not ready for this baby to come. I felt like you and I were about the same size, but I think my perception is pretty off these days so I could be totally wrong.
Sara: I'm so sorry that you're feeling sick. I hope that it gets better for you soon. And I hope that your appointment this afternoon is great! I'm feeling stressed too about getting our apartment clean before the baby comes. Hopefully we both have plenty of time.
Isa: I'm so sorry about your headaches! Are you getting enough water and enough protein? I hope you find something that helps soon.
Starling: I hope that swimming was fun this morning. I'm thinking about trying to go swimming this evening with the hope that it will make my back feel better.
Julietea: I don't feel like my bellaband does much for my back. But maybe it helps. I'm wearing the bellaband every day now, so I wouldn't probably notice the difference it makes. I'm sorry that you're having to deal with possible lay-offs as work. What a stressful time to have that happening.
QOTD: Neither my wife nor I identify as being butch or femme, but my wife is often perceived as looking less girly (or more boyish or whatever) than me and she seems to be more easily identifiable as being gay. I don't know how that will impact our parenting. I hope not too much--I hope we're both able to just be great moms without worrying about how other people perceive our gender roles. We'll see!
AFM: You all were right. I should not have taken iron at this point in my pregnancy. My system did not like it. I will not be taking more anytime soon.
We finally ordered our diapers. It's good to have that done. Any suggestions on where to get nursing bras that are cotton and comfortable and either inexpensive or worth their high price?
doctors appointment was rescheduled and they told me by mail about it. I was supposed to go there when we were walking around downtown DC on friday. So now I have to wait until next week to see the doc. GRR!
escher: I hope we can too! I bought some natural cleaning products today and am hoping to use them by the end of the week!
Not much time for personals as usual these days but I wanted to check it.
Escher- I highly recommend the motherhood maternity sleep bra, I have 2 and I love love them. Not much support but soooooo comfy. I get sad when they are both in the wash.
Seraf- Thinking about you guys!
Sara: I am so sorry you are sick! That is awful! We missed you last week but understand you were probaly not feeling well.
Starling: Have that baby already woman!
AOTD: I am not sure how butch/femme we are. Seraf or Sara wanna answer that ? for me?? I will say that Chels takes on the more rough housing fun loving roles with our kids and i am the nurturing one.
So many babies coming! I can't wait!
Cutest pics ever coming your way and I expect pictures in return, all of you. Bellys and babies and big kids!
Happy Monday, all;
Julie--I'm sorry to hear about the uncertainty with work. That's no fun. Hoping you can just find a way to relax and not stress too much about it. Having the encapsulation done for you would be nice, especially if you/DP don't want to deal with the particulars. It'll be one less thing to do. DP and I talked about it again this morning and I'm wondering if we should do it again, just use the ones from DD (which are frozen, but would be 4 years old by the time I use them) or just pay to have it done. DP is willing again. I just might have to take the baby on an outing that day...
Sara--I totally know what you mean in terms of being sick. It is such a miserable feeling and I hope it doesn't last too long for you. Those first weeks are the hardest. I'm sending you lots of good energy so you can survive the queasiness and get to the more enjoyable parts of pregnancy. Hugs to you!
Isa--Boo for the headaches. No cures from me other than acetaminophen which they swear is harmless. I totally understand not wanting to take anything though. Thanks for the ticker too! I can't believe you're already 11 weeks!
Escher--I hope the back pain eases up for you. The discomfort can be so hard at the end. I like Seraf's idea of the stool. Half the time when I sit down I feel like I'll never be able to get up and I'm not even that big yet.
Ahope--I'm sorry to hear about the troubles. Hoping that you and DP have worked through things. Be kind to yourself. And of course, goat cheese sounds yummy! I hope it agrees with Lilah!
Seraf--Sounds like your trip to DC was good. It'[s a good thing you like bathrooms so much. That's so brave of you to travel all that way with the kids and the pregnancies. Some days, I feel like I can't even make it to the grocery store.
Starling--How are you? Ouch, the swelling sounds painful. I am getting excited for your upcoming birth which can't be too much further out!
Hello to the others that I've missed!
AFM-- IT"S A GIRL!!! We are so excited all around. DD is thrilled because she really wanted a sister. And the scan showed that the baby looked perfectly healthy, even with my 37th birthday on the horizon, lol.
Yellow, I don't really know on the butch/femme thing. I just like to ask questions. Sara and I were talking about wonder if people think one of us is butcher than the other. Oh, so I read up some on aspergers and decided Osh doesn't have it. No way. But I brought it up with my ex before I looked more into it. So yesterday she told me that not only does she think he has it, but that she thinks I have many signs of it as well. She had some specific examples for me. LOL. Sara said She thinks it's not true, that I'm "just weird.". Very cute pics. I was going to post pics today, but I forgot my camera so I will have to do it tomorrow.
Escher, I think we were pretty close. It's hard to tell because the same woman can look very different in different clothes. I'm not ready to think how close I am, either, but it's Starling, Julie, you then me. And aren't you due like one month from tomorrow? I got a $12 bra at target last week, I'll wear it tomorrow and find out if it's comfy.
Qmama, I had a hard time sitting fairly early on, too. I think it's ok. I think the older we get the harder pregnancy is (I was 22 the first time and it was so stinking easy). YAY for a girl! I was beginning to think everyone was going to have boys from yellow on out.
Julie, do you know whether you're expecting boy bits or girl bits?
I have been having BH every 10 minutes this evening. Joy joy. The last few days I feel them everywhere from my ribs to my pelvis front to back. I have a feeling it's going to be long month.