Queer and Pregnant: July, August, and September - Page 31

[starling&diesel]

Well, swimming was great, but did nothing to move things along.  I took my sister with me (she's also my birth coach) so she could swim with E while I went around and around the lazy river, just floating and feeling deliciously weightless.  It was glorious.  I was so hoping that some embarassing thing would happen, like a gush of bloody show, just because I was tempting fate by being in the pool, or going into labour in the change room, and imaging my sister and I trying to decide if we should go home (6 km) or to the Women's Hosptial (1 km).  But alas, it was lovely, but uneventful. 

Great pics, Yellow!  Did H go in the water?  We took E for swim lessons at four months.  You need to update your siggy, mama! 

Sara ... That sucks!  I would've been so disappointed.  Hang in there!  Do you like ginger?  So many mamas I know swear by candied ginger for easing the barfies, but I'm not a fan, so I never indulged. 

Fingers and hands complaining, so I'll have to skip the rest of the personals.  I'm reading along and thinking of everyone. 

AOTD:  We are a classic, old school butch/femme couple.  My dp is as butch as they come, shy of transitioning, and I'm a girly girl inside and out.  As for it affecting parenting, I'm definitely the mama, and dp is definitely more of the papa, although that's not quite accurate either.  She's a naturally gifted parent, and is very nurturing and protective.  I'm mama in every way.  I'm the one who does all the research, and she's the one that's happy to go along with whatever I come up with (homeschooling, diapers, gentle discipline, etc).  I'm rambling.  My fingers hurt.  I could go on about this all day, but need to put my swollen feet up and work on willing this baby out into the world.  Hmm, time to solicit some nice, raunchy sex! 

[LibraryLady]

Morning all~ Missed you yesterday, but we've been having network issues, which affects every aspect of school life (I try and tell people that entirely relying on a computer to do your day's work screws you when the network goes down, but they just don't listen...)  So anyway, I spent yesterday cleaning out the AV/Storage closet. Scorpions aplenty!!!

Starling~ Sorry you're still in pain, but at least you had fun swimming with your sister.  I remember how much I ached all over from the swelling right at the very end. Are you still cleared for homebirth?

Yellow~ Such cutie pix!!!!!  I can't wait to get Alice in the water.  Both your chirruns are adorable!

Sara~ Sorry you're so sick. You're barfy, Seraf has BH. You must be quite a fun pair ;)

Seraf~  Your Bathroom Tour of DC sounds hilarious. It's like my ALA Conference Bathroom tour in Cali last year.

Qmama~ Congrats! I'll bet your DD is super thrilled. You should record her talking about how happy she is to have a sister, and then you can play it back for her when she's in 6th grade and is so bugged by her sister that she's about to pop

Isa~ Mmmm, headaches. Drink lots and lots of water. (and then go pee more than you already do. Awesome)

Escher~ HI!!!!

AFM~ Not much.  Alice was a great sleeper yesterday  morning, even let DP put her down in the co-sleeper rather than the swing and they both were able to get some more rest. This morning she woke up at 5 and was shrieking when I left the house. Poor DP (who was up past midnight working on her dissertation) looked like the walking dead.  I really wish I could stay home and just be a mama, but it ain't to be, at least not at this point.

QOTD (well, for yesterday)~ Neither of us are very butch/femme.  If you looked at a photo you'd think I was more femme and DP more butch because she's such a runner and is always wearing jeans and race tshirts, but when we met she was even girlier than I am (and I'm pretty girly, at least on the outside). But she's much more of a cook and gardener, and I'm much more a have a job and be a breadwinner.  Parentalwise, we're both fairly egalitarian. She likes to do all the research (on stuff like diapering and feeding, etc) and I'm much more relaxed and intuitive (which I think would be true even if I hadn't birthed Alice).  In bed we mix it up, so who knows!?!?!?  Fun question, though.

Ok, today's random QOTD:  Who are your movie star crushes?  I was so in love with Winona Ryder in high school and college that when I came out to my dad he said he'd been thinking I was gay because "Well, you've got a lot of pictures of Winona Ryder in your room."  I also had a thing for Nicole Kidman before she became a blonde botox monster.  Right now I'll have to say it's Joan Holloway from Mad Men. Mmmmm... 

[seraf]

Starling, yay for swimming.  Sorry about your hands. Maybe it means you're carrying a writer?

Library, sorry about your 5 AM fussing.

Star crushes?  I used to adore Christina Ricci, Wynona Ryder, Joan Cusack (Sp?), Gina Girshon.  Hmm.  I like Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp (he so looks like a girl, you know, in a good way.), Sigourney Weaver, Jamie Lee Curtis.  I don't know a thing about them, just always thought they were pretty.

Back to talking about DC, well pics anyway.

We took lots of breaks on the way.  They are Jumping over trucks, sliding down a rail, jumping over small flights of stairs and showing off their fangs.

The kids were cute as ever. In lockers at the natural history museum, wearing umbrella bags as raincoats, and brushing hair.

Everyone got tired feet and Sara is a trooper. They each got a 10 minute ride with the sling I was using to hold up my pants.

 

I was there, I swear.  Here is a picture of my hand all swollen.  I had to move my ring and the ring dent on the ring finger stayed for days.  As soon as we got back into the mountains the swelling went away and my ring is back where it belongs.

And finally, here is a picture of my naughty bunny, Pip.  She likes her carrot before I sit down for breakfast and she reminded me of that fact with her TEETH this morning.  She drew blood!  She is nestled on a pile of stuff bound for the thrift store (well, not the potties).  It amazes me that the baby is now larger than miss Pip. 

A couple of noteworthy things about the trip I forgot to mention.  When we were at the zoo checking out the pandas, there was a liquid nitrogen tank and they were talking all about artificial insemination and how they had to look at the panda's vaginal cells under a microscope to determine when she was ovulating.  I thought that was pretty cool.  Another funny thing, as we were leaving a building, a security guard came running out the door after us.  We were a bit nervous, but it turned out that she recognized that we were a couple and she and her partner were starting the journey to expanding their family and she was excited to run into us.  It was a pretty neat experience.  

Yellow, I have no current belly pics.  Here is one from a few weeks ago, with Ari in a back carry using a beach towel.

[mumquest]

Hello!  New to this area, new to pregnancy!  My DW is very newly pregnant, we don't even have a due date yet!!  We are very excited and hopeful, it has been a long and challenging process and we are crossing our fingers that this little one will stick, and grow, and come out to meet us in nine months.

But my reason for posting today is more than just to share our news.  As the non-bio mom, I am looking for some input/info that can be hard to find.  I'm wondering how my DW's hormones can impact my own.  I anticipated needing to tough it out and help her with her hormonal swings, but it turns out that I am the one with the major swings.  Of course I know that change, even good change, is hard, but I feel there is more to it.  To be clear, I am very sensitive to hormones and also to mood changes, I have a history of severe depression and I have PMDD (severe, debilitating PMS).  But the advantage of having a history of severe mood challenges is I know a little about what my moods mean and some ways to help with them.  And right now things feel VERY chemical. 

Anyone have any suggestions on where I can find more info about this?  Has anyone heard of this happening for others?

Thanks for any input!!

[LibraryLady]

Morning all~  Very frowny today. The Mean Girl is at it again. She and her Mean Girl cronies ambushed me yesterday at the faculty meeting with a whole roster of extra duties since I 'don't really do anything anyway' and just the positive things that I'll have to give up to do all this extra cafeteria duty (like my morning Library Club and my Student Council activities) was a blow, but the whole way they acted and reacted to me was just a kick in the butt. I cried all afternoon yesterday and couldn't sleep, couldn't get it all out of my head, and now I'm exhausted and here just waiting to see their mean faces. Ugh.  I need my Titty Ninja Warriors to please come and kick some ass.  

I don't even feel up to personals now~ I'll just say thanks for being here and listening to me.  I hope all is well, and that Starling and Juliet have cutie babies to distract us very soon xo

[mami2mami]

O.M.G!!!!30weeks today!

[AmandaHope]

Mami: WOW! Congratulations on 30 weeks!

Library: I wish there were some way for all of us here to tell your "colleagues" exactly what they can do with themselves.  Do you have any idea why they target you like this (other than to exercise power)?  Are there any other school library jobs out there (afraid probably not)? And if I remember correctly, the principal isn't much of an advocate, right?  What a mess.  I'm so sorry.

Seraf: Love the pics! I'd love to take Z to D.C.  I'm envious that your homeschooling schedule lets you take trips like that.  We always feel bound by the school schedule, though we do usually take her out for a week over spring break (since ours is different than hers).  The towel as sling is pretty darn creative.  You two must have strong backs!

Starling: Thinking of you!

Sara: Hope that m/s resolves asap.  But I'm so glad that your little bean is sticking around!

Mumquest: HI!  Welcome!  So glad to see some new faces round these parts.  Unfortunately, I don't have the experience to answer your question, but others here might. 

Answer of the other day: Hmm...neither of us identifies as butch or fem, but I'm definitely the more feminine one, while DP is more androgynous.  Lately, though, DP has started wearing more of my now too-small professional clothes and actually wearing jewelry, so she has days when her look  surprises me with its femininity.  I like it.  But I really love her more androgynous look, too. When we met (in the 1990s), she lived in button down shirts with suit vests over cute jeans with Doc Martins (ok, I feel old now).  She looked HOT.  She still does, of course, in her more professional late-30s kind of way ;-).  I do sometimes wear dresses and usually have light makeup and jewelry on.  In terms of parenting, I am the more affectionate, nurturing, hovering parent, while she is more playful, practical, and patient.  I get all tied up emotionally, while she stays calm and rational.  Part of our different emotional response is definitely cultural (Jewish vs. midwestern Methodist upbringings).  In other respects, though, she is the more sensitive one (she cries more easily, gets more upset during arguments, internalizes more guilt, etc.).  I tend to be stricter about boundaries, rules, and schedules, and I'm the one who does the research.  In terms of provider roles, I'm the one with the income, but oddly enough, she is the one working right now, not me.  She works part time for criminally little money (as an adjunct college instructor).  I've  never not worked for pay while she has (though we've had a few years when I've worked and she hasn't).  I laugh sometimes when she comes home from work all dressed up and I'm in sweats stained with spitup waiting to hand her the baby.  This is NOT the usual arrangement for us.  Come January, we'll be back to struggling to protect my time so that I can fulfill my own work responsibilities.  Not looking forward to that AT ALL.

AFM: 2 month checkup went well yesterday.  Lilah is 12 lbs 10 oz!  Wow!  The doc remains unconcerned about the reflux and insists that it will be much better in a month.  I'm finding that leap of faith challenging, but I hope he's right.  We had a really tough day yesterday.  I drove with Lilah to the home of a woman from our Bradley class about 35 minutes away, and Lilah was tired but not able to sleep and cried and cried.  I pulled over and calmed her down, but the next time I stopped at a light, she started screaming again.  The road I was on was usually 55 mph, but I entered a construction zone (35mph) and didn't slow down, and I got pulled over.  The cop wasn't mean but said that I'd have to learn to drive safely with the baby crying (well, YEAH) and gave me a ticket.  It was also pouring rain.  So I sat in the back seat and cried with Lilah for a while and then headed the rest of the way to my friend's house.  Her baby is supposedly constantly fussy, though I thought our little ones could fuss together, but of course he was having a peaceful day and perfectly happy, so Lilah just fussed on her own.  DP was super sweet about the ticket, not making me feel bad at all, but I have a freaking court date in November for it, and it isn't cheap, either.  I'm not going anywhere today.  Home sweet home for us. 

[prettyisa]

Seraf—I like them when they’re old and interesting. I stayed with a friend in Germany once who had the most fascinating toilet! It was probably 100+ years old, painted blue porcelain, with a wooden seat and a pull chain. Also! I love that your bump and Ari’s bum are about the same size!

Escher—I’m trying, but I feel like it’s not possible to drink any more water. –sigh-

Sara—sorry about the doctor! They can be so flaky sometimes. How’s it going with the cleaning products—do you have them yet? I bought a bunch of stuff (borax, baking soda, etc) a few months ago when I decided that we’d go all natural, but it just seems like so much work figuring out what to do with each thing, how to do the proportions, etc. I’m just too lazy. Any tips to help me get back into it?

Mizyellow—So cute! I love their smiles! I also love Lennon’s little floaty thing—it looks much better than water wings for actually swimming!

Qmama—yay for another daughter! I loved having a sister—I’m sure S will, too!

Starling—sorry you didn’t get to terrify the kids in the pool—it would have been a good Halloween preview, right? I keep coming back, hoping to hear that your labor has stepped up! (also, every time I mention someone saying anything sexy on the internet DP asks if it’s you. I hope you don’t mind—I think it’s funny!)

Hi Mumquest—congrats! So exciting to get your BFP! I have no good advice, since DP and I are bad about that anyway (we always end up in the same mood. It’s really lots of fun. Really. Lots.). Hopefully someone else will be able to help you out! I guess I’d say that if you know it’s coming, just watch yourself and do whatever you need to do to get yourself back on an even keel whenever possible!

Oh Library! I’m so sad that your stupid Mean Girl is such a moron. Does she actually come in and see what goes on when you have class after class after class in there? Or does she just think that you’re a big holding pen for books? So frustrating! I hope she’s ready for the Titty Ninja attack headed her way!

Mami—congrats! Heading towards the finish line, for sure!

Amanda—oh, I’m sorry about the ticket! Too bad the guy couldn’t cut you some slack! I think it’s funny how much your DP and mine remind me of each other. Not in all ways, but certainly in a lot of them.

AFM—last night was not pleasant. I showed up at home in a terrible, depressed mood (it was raining, one dog looked sick enough when we left for work that I worried about her all day, and being at work all day didn’t help), which would have been ok since DP took pity on me and agreed to come to bed at 9 so we could cuddle and I could bemoan my state. We thought it would be a nice treat to let the dogs come snuggle for a bit (they’re not allowed up there normally) and a second after she put dog #2 (not the sick one) on the quilt, he assumed his pee position and urinated all over the bed. I have no idea why. So we banished him to the kitchen while we changed all of our bedding and finally got to sleep at 10. Then sometime around 4 I had a terrible miscarriage dream. I felt like I was about to get my period and when I went to the bathroom (in the dream, only) I was just bleeding and bleeding. I was hoping that somehow the baby was going to be ok but I knew it wasn’t. And then I woke up. And didn’t have the heart to wake up DP and tell her, since then she wouldn’t be able to sleep either. Ugh. Sorry to go on and on, but it was just so crappy.

QOT(other)D:
DP and I both read as pretty femme—though she must be way more queer looking than me, because she gets hit on by other women pretty much anytime I’m not with her in public. People just think I’m straight. Even with my Justin Bieber hair. Oh well. Our actual personalities are kind of all over the place, although I’m a lot more hands-on, so if it comes to teaching the kid how to sew/cook/use a screwgun/tile the bathroom, that’ll be me. Appreciation of music/foreign films/good beer will be her (though not til they’re older, of course). If we could swing it, we’d both be happy to have me work part time and spend the rest of my days dandling babies, baking cakes, sewing costumes, and figuring out how to can things while DP brought home the bacon (for me to cure…), but that’s unlikely to be our reality any time soon, sadly. Mostly I think we’re going to have to come out again and again and again, because I expect people will read us as friends or sisters or something of that ilk more often than seeing us as parents to the same child.

Other QOT(other, other)D:
I’ve never been good with movie stars. I did have a big huge crush on Guy Pierce when I first saw him in Priscilla. I was also quite taken with the star of Easy A (in fact, if she weren’t so cute there is no way I would have made it through that movie). And I tend to like Julia Stiles. Finally, though not a movie star, I would like to put it out there for the world to know that should Leisha Hailey and I ever find ourselves single at the same time, I would be perfectly thrilled to be kicked off the airline of her choice for making out with each other.

Happy New Year, everyone! Even if you’re not Jewish, have some apples and honey tonight to bring in a sweet new year!

[AmandaHope]

Missed some personals this morning (from the last page):

MizYellow: Love the pics!  The pool looks so nice, and the boys are adorable.

Isa: Sorry about the headaches.  You should try drinking electrolyte drinks, since straight water could actually wash out your salts if you are drinking a ton.  Trader Joe's has electrolyte enhanced water that isn't expensive and tastes just like regular water.  I had a ton of it this summer before Lilah was born. I'm so sorry about your night last night.  It sounds pretty miserable.  I hope you have a restful, peaceful night tonight.  I know what you mean about certain similarities between our partners ;-).  My DP reads as more queer, too, and I read as straight.  That makes it fun to come out to my students over and over again.  Actually, it is nerve-wracking every time (100 plus students in the room, jaws hanging open every time--especially last spring when I was visibly pregnant), but also sort of thrilling.  And I'm SO WITH YOU on the Leisha Hailey thing.  YUM.

Qmama: Yeah for a girl!  And a healthy babe!  Wonderful news.  I'm partial to the two girls thing, since that's what I have, but I'm also aware that it is a LOT of work psychologically. 

Oh--Seraf asked about sling carries with the Maya.  This one is my favorite (though I look tired here--ugh):

Edited by AmandaHope - 9/28/11 at 12:19pm

[escher]

Hi Everyone,

Happy New Year to everyone celebrating!

Isa: I'm sorry about your hard night and especially about your scary dream. I hope that tonight is smoother.

AmandaHope: I'm glad that Lilah's check-up went well, but I'm sorry to hear about your hard day yesterday. What a pain that you have to go to court about your ticket.

Mami: Congratulations on 30 weeks! Wow!

Library: I'm so sorry that the mean girl is up to her mean tricks again. So not fair. I wish we could all come and protect you from her!

Mumquest: Congratulations on the pregnancy! Let me know once you have a due date if you want to be added to the list.

Seraf: I'm sorry that you're having so many painful BH. Hopefully it means the birth will actually go fast when it happens? Let me know how the target bra is.

Starling: I'm sorry that your hands and feet are so swollen. I'm sending time-to-be-born thoughts to your little one!

QMama: Congratulations on your healthy girl!

Mizyellow: Great pictures! I'll have to check out the motherhood maternity sleep bra. Thanks for the recommendation!

Sara: I'm so sorry that your doctors appointment was rescheduled. I think that is always disappointing, but I definitely found it especially hard to take near the beginning of the pregnancy. What day next week is your appointment now?

AFM: I saw something on the calendar for November 1 and my first thought was that I hope I'm not still pregnant then. I think that was the first time that I actively hoped not to be pregnant at some point in the future. I'm actually really glad about that--just a few weeks ago I still felt like I wanted to be pregnant forever. It's amazing what a few weeks of being big and uncomfortable can do. To be clear, I'm not ready for the baby to come YET, but I wouldn't mind if he showed up in a month. Speaking of which, my due date is now less than a month away!

Any thoughts on doing the test for GBS? It seems like the science behind it is pretty unconvincing (low evidence that if you test positive a month before birth you're actually still positive at birth), but I don't want to take unnecessary risks, and I know it would be a pain if I didn't test and then ended up transferring to a hospital. What are you all doing?

[qmama42]

Ahope--Thanks for the pic! I love the how cuddly Lilah looks in the sling. I am excited about having two girls, although things will probably get crazy around our house in about 10 years!

Isa--How scary! I'm sorry to hear that you had a rough night. I hope you get good, restful sleep with pleasant dreams tonight.

Library--Hugs to you! Sounds like you had a miserable day (and night). Work drama is no fun, especially when it spills over after you leave for the day. I am hoping that today has been better and more manageable. I'm sorry that you'll have to miss out on the activities that you really enjoy doing during work.

Escher--Wow! Less than a month! It must be nice to finally be getting so close! I don't have any input on the GBS. I took the test last time and didn't think much of it (maybe that was my ignorance though since I hadn't researched it and what it meant). I'll be looking for others responses on this topic too since I should know more details about it.

Mami--Congrats on hitting the 30 week mark!

AFM--I'm missing some of you on personals but just looked at the clock and realized that I have to dash away from work now for my 20 week appointment! Hope to catch you all later. This is a huge psychological milestone for me and I'm thrilled to be at the halfway point.

[starling&diesel]

Hands too sore for personals ... love to all!

GBS: This is one test i don't skip. It's an easy (if somewhat annoying treatment) if you're positive, to avoid potentially deadly infections in baby, Being positive does run in cycles, so you are likely to still be positive weeks after you test. This is my second pregnancy, second positive. Chances are I won't have time to do the abx if my water doesn't break pre-lbour this time, so we'll see. But knowing that I am positive helps me be more vigilant in monitoring baby's temp, etc, post partum.

AFM: Acupuncture this morning, more swimming (which felt heavenly), lunch out for gluten free pizza with dp and dd, now resting with my feet up (come on, elephantine feet, swelling be gone!) and waiting to go to my mw appointment this afternoon. She'll do another stretch and sweep, and I'm thinking she might order more bloodwork if my bp is what is was this am at acupuncture.  It's a great day to have a baby!  Sunny and the leaves are falling, the air feels crisp, and we're more than ready to love this little guy up earthside before things get complicated or interventions are necessary.  Seriously, how long can a woman walk around 6+cm dilated???

[AmandaHope]

Good luck with your appointment and getting labor going, Starling!  Here's my annoying reminder that pumping worked REALLY WELL for me.  The induction protocol is 45 min on, 15 off.  It hurts but is super effective and may be better than other interventions. 

Escher: I agree with Starling on GBS. If you do have to transfer, it will make a difference in how they treat you, and it is good to know what to be cautious about even if you are at home. I never had it tested my first time and ended up on antibiotics in the hospital just in case. This time I was negative and really enjoyed the freedom being negative allowed.  Either way, I think it is good to know. 

Qmama: YAY for 20 weeks!  Hope your appointment goes beautifully, and congrats on being half way there!  It only gets better after 20 weeks, in my experience. 

AFM: Heading out to dinner with friends for Rosh Hashannah (hope Lilah doesn't cry the whole time...).  I made home-made applesauce with her in the sling earlier.  It felt really good, and the apple sauce is DELICIOUS. 

[seraf]

L'ShanaTovah

Mumquest, I'm guessing if she is not hormonal and you're having mood swings it's not quite like sympathetic pregnancy. But since no one else has thrown their own 2 cents in, I will try to bore you with my own tales of woe. 
I have a 6 year old daughter. She is cute, bright, sort of shy and very opinionated. She is a Leo, I guess the firey personality  goes with the territory. When I got pregnant, oh, 8 months ago, she started having more mood swings. As I leveled off into my second trimester they eased up quite a bit. Then my (Leo) partner went and got pregnant, too. She is now 7 weeks and DD is getting very stressed again. In all fairness, first trimester mood swings were present in both my partner and myself. DD is obviously having major stress related to it all, tho. 
So yeah, major mood swings in a family member of a pregnant person are kind of normal. 
The 7 week old embryo will be my first non-gestational child (I'm excited about the possibility of dark curly hair, something that could never come from my genes) so I haven't had a lot of experience with the actual emotions that go with it. I'm trying to be easier on her than I would be on myself. I know that even an easy pregnancy has it's rough spots, so I am trying to be calm and kind and patient and all those things we try to teach toddlers that really aren't second nature while feeling so many big emotions of our own. 
I think I wandered away from my point.

Anyway, if you're feeling depressed, it sounds like you know what works for you.  I always recommend exercise, it's good for everyone.  Also, when I was super pissy in my first first trimester, the accupuncturist told me that the same point for nausea helps with mood.  It's a point on your wrist where you would wear motion sickness bands.  About 3 fingers down and between the tendons there.  It hurts a bit when you actually get it, that's how you know you got it.  When I was feeling particularly impatient, I would take a deep breath, press the point and exhale slowly.  

Library, Sara has been in all these schools and comes home with crazy stories of things they're doing to cut money from the budget.  I was wondering how all that kind of stuff works out for you down there, but it sounds like the ugliness is everywhere.  I'm so sorry they're taking so much from you.  I wish I knew a way to make it better.  *hugs*

Mami, holy cow!  You're 75% there!!!

Isa, I have wanted to put our toilet tank up high for eons.  I don't think I ever will, but my second favorite option is to take the water supply as it's coming in and have it do a water sculpture on the back of the toilet every time someone flushes (I know the handwash station toilet lids are more practical, but wouldn't a bunch of whirlygigs be super cool?)

AmandaHope, that's how I carried my babies, too.  I used a knotted piece of cloth rather than a ring sling, but I basically would put the ring/knot closer to my shoulder and the baby closer to midline.  I normally have a strong back, it's aching lately, tho.  I think it's way easier to sling Ari on my back lately than to carry her any other way.  You said, "Part of our different emotional response is definitely cultural (Jewish vs. midwestern Methodist upbringings)."  I would love to hear more about this.  Being closer to the midwestern methodist I find the whole Jewish partner emotional response kind of confusing.  

Escher, I am not a fan of the target bra.  Perhaps I got the wrong size but it feels both too tight and too loose.  I don't like the padded cups, I don't like that I'm busting out of it, either.  But it rides up kind of weird on the sides and if I pull the cup down as tho I was going to nurse, it looks like I have a 3rd breast because of how structured the cup is.  It's also 90% cotton 10% spandex, so not all cotton.  I also don't know what size I will need once the baby comes, I expect to get up to a D in the beginning and since I'm busting out of this C, I don't know at what stage it will fit.  Grrr.  Yes, I think the strong BH will make for a faster labor, but I think the baby is positioned funny and that's making them hurt more.  Every one today it has felt like the baby was trying to squeeze out my side.  So all the muscles and ligaments on the right side are super tender now.  Yay for feeling comfortable with your impending due date!  I skipped GBS testing completely.  Where I live, had I tested positive I would have been risked out of homebirth completely and forever (IE, if I tested positive with Osh, I would have not been allowed to use midwives with Ari) and if I arrived at the hospital too late for antibiotics, the baby would have gotten them IV whether there were problems or not.  Here is a link  to some info about it.  About a 3rd of the way down is a section with symptoms to look for during pregnancy and labor.  I had none of those.  Had I had any I would have considered more aggressive action, but a fast labor with unbroken water leaves less time to spread the infection to the baby.  We had to monitor temp and all that stuff even in a healthy delivery.  LOL, all that said, because I'm with an OB group, I am probably going to be tested whether I want it or not, but because this is really my last pregnancy it doesn't hold so much weight for the future as it once did.

Qmama, yay for 20 weeks!

Starling, how long indeed?  Good luck at your appointment tomorrow.  I was hoping for baby pictures when I popped in tonight.

New QOTD: Have you picked out names yet?  

AOTD: Mostly.  The kids call both the fetus and the embryo by name, but I'm still not sure if Riot is going to fly.

[starling&diesel]

Midwife just left, leaving us with the same labour cocktail that worked like a hot damn last time.  I'm hovering on the pre-e brink (waiting on blood results), so if I do have pre-e, we'll be going to the hospital to get induced.  If the bloodwork comes back okay, then we're good to go for the homebirth.  Either way, I'm taking the cocktail first thing in the morning (in *hopes* of getting some sleep) and we'll see what happens.  The midwife on tonight is talking to the midwife who comes on in the morning and letting her know the details.  She might come and break waters here if the bloodwork is okay.  I'm 7cm and stretchy, with a bulging bag and his head is *right* there. 

GBS:  Here you don't risk out of a homebirth just because of being GBS postive, thank goodness!  That's a pretty extreme policy, Seraf! 

[AmandaHope]

Whoa, Starling--7cm!  You are SO CLOSE!  I can't wait to hear this story.  I doubt you'll need them, but ELVs (easy labor vibes for the newbies) to you! 

Seraf: I could go on about the cultural thing for hours, so I'll put that off until tomorrow, since I really need some sleep.  Btw, I never said thanks for the awesome milk math you performed/researched for me when I went out a few weeks ago.  You totally underestimated my weight, though (probably smart of you ).

[seraf]

Starling, it's 3 am where you are and I'm hoping you're nursing your sweet boy right now. If not, I'm sending you healthy liver and kidney vibes and smooth, perfect labor vibes for when you wake.

And yes things are a bit more conservative here. On so many fronts. It's funny, I was thinking about the way y'all get a year off work when a baby comes. I heard on NPR about a European country where both parents get it and it's longer. It got me thinking. The US has something abysmal like a 9% unemployment rate. We have something like 400 million people here and 4 million babies born each year. If each baby had one parent voluntarily step out if the work force for a year our unemployment rate would drop almost a whole percent and more women could have an easier time breastfeeding which would reduce our overall healthcare costs. *sigh* want to hear my theory about how legalizing gay marriage could really stimulate the tourism industry in my very economically depressed area? Kidding. Sort of. Wishing you well. And I want to see pictures!

AmandaHope, I look forward to hearing your thoughts on it. And you're welcome on the math. Only later did it occur to me that you could simply mix that pumping with another bottle and divide it back up for milk with half the alcohol content. And all those calculations are based on the idea that your milk and blood have the same alcohol content.
Really, you look pretty good for only being 2 months post partum.

Ari just told me she dreamed that a woman gave me a piece of felt and told my the baby was going to have bad luck.

I don't believe in luck, but occasionally I wonder about some of the things she says because some say babies born in the caul are psychic. She has unsuccessfully predicted our deaths too many times for me to really worry about it, tho.

ETA: library, when I said the ugliness is everywhere, it was with sadness, I don't think it's remotely professional for her to be unkind to you like that. I am wishing her some manners. Or a lovely new job, preferably out of state, so she can go off and you can go on enjoying your job.

Random question, I have never been a cervix checker so I know nothing about them, but in the third trimester, would the cervix be so high and the baby be so low that a head could be felt through the anterior vaginal wall? Or, I guess can the cervix be higher than the head? I'm going to ask the doc about it today since I have an appointment.
Edited by seraf - 9/29/11 at 5:31am

[qmama42]

Starling--sending you peaceful, smooth vibes for getting that baby out and into the world!

[onemommyonemama]

Hi everyone

Starling - thinking of you! ELV! I hope that your birth is as peaceful and easy as possible, and that all works for the best with the possible pre-e. I will keep you in my thoughts today and can't wait to hear all about it!!!

Mumquest - feeling the hormones - I am pregnant but was non-bio first and I definately had harder periods. My wife is experiencing the same thing now to a lesser degree, but has said 'holy crap these are stronger!'. The periods were harsh, especially in the first and second trimesters. I believe my body adjusted a bit throughout though, as I don't remember the later ones being as bad.

Our bodies sync with women around periods, and it is no wonder that sleeping near your partner would equal a different mix in pregnancy. I'd love for someone to do a study on this as I find it super interesting :)

If things are really hard (sounds like your body already has a go with pms) I did find that sleeping apart helped LOADS. I didn't do this by choice because althougt the periods were intense, they were okay for me (normally periods are not bad). But a few times was away for work a few days before my period and a bit during and it was much better! Other than that I did adjust a little, but didn't find much else to help. If things are hard - sleeping a part for a few night a month might help a load. Not sure.

When baby came all was back to normal for me - with teh addition of sleep deprivation :) Welcome here! and COngrats! I look forward to hearing more about your pregnancy :)

Qmama - WOW! 20 weeks and a girl and wow! So excited for you! I'm right around the corner and can't wait to know and to get to that 20 week mark. yeah...

QOTD - we go back and forth on butchyness depending on the situation. I do more 'dude stuff' around the house, but am also SAHM and main chef and I'm freaked of spiders and shreak like a princess for her to come rescue me. rats, bats, snakes all okay - but apparently not bugs? i wear more boy stuff, she likes more girl stuff but mostly we both wear tshirts and pants around the house. parenting we are mama and mommy. our personality and gender bends definately come into it, but not in a way that makes us more dad/mom like. I am with our DD more often during the day, she still breastfeeds and does all the night time parenting (including to bed) and we both mix most other things. DD decides in the moment which of us to go to for a scraped knee. We both seem to be acceptable nuturers to her *but in the moment she wants one of us exclusively, it jsut changes regularly*. Same with playing, etc... it just depends on the moment. RIght now mama is better at playing with DD down on the floor. They play trains for hours while I lounge. I just don't have the comfort to be ground playing for hours and hours right now :) I am really excited to throw more into the mix as we switch bio/non-bio roles. The breastfeeding plays the biggest piece into our parenting differences right now I'd say as it has created a specific relationship between DD and DW. DW is really excited to move into new relationships with DD as she weans and also to have a different experience with our little one coming. She is kinda done with BFing right now.

QOTD - no names yet.

Hi to all! Sorry not to do all personals.My DD is painting her toe nails with markers and I shoudl probably pay attention to her now.

DAWN - if you are lurking - you are due soon! Tell us about how you and DP are doing!

[mami2mami]

Starling-Thinking of you and dp..hoping all is going well and sending smooth easy labor vibes