Jumping in! New to TTC and everything else!

[Ncat]

Hello ladies!

I've been lurking on this board for just under a month when I can, and getting a feel for all the terminology and everything. Everyone here is so warm and lovely, so I felt I finally had to sign up and join in and start posting. :)

Husband and I have just started TTC and already I am feeling the anxiety and frustrations of 2WW, waiting to O, AF, etc. I had no idea this would be such an emotional rollercoaster! So, although I have only just begun, I definitely feel for those who have been working on it for a while. I was hopeful this month (imagining symptoms, being hyperaware of my body suddenly) so I felt incredible disappointment and heartbreak to find that AF really was on the way! I thought I'd get lucky since a friend of mine who recently gave birth got pregnant on the first try.

And I feel guilty for resenting her a little (I can't help it - I'm happy for her, but I do!) and I hope that's normal for this process. She told me to be patient (I'm impossibly IMpatient) and I know she means well, but truthfully, it hurts a little, coming from someone who got it done in one try! Just venting, but this seems like the place for it!

Anyway, thank you for letting me vent and pour, I am looking forward to sharing this journey with other ladies here. I am excited and happy to be here finally! I never thought I'd have that desire to be a mother, but now that something in me has "clicked," I can't wait! :)

[ISISandOSIRIS]

Welcome 

It's very normal to feel a twinge of envy when you're struggling to conceive and someone you know seems to have it so easy.  I once had someone comment that she got pregnant on the first try because she "knows how to get pregnant" (knowing that hubby and I struggled).  THAT pissed me off.  Even if you do get pregnant on the 2nd or 3rd shot, it sounds like you're an empathetic person and would know NOT to say certain things to someone who doesn't have it so easy.  I may be a bit sensitive, but I personally don't like being told I'm not getting pregnant because "I need to relax."  Whether people realize this or not, it places blame on the woman for not getting pregnant.  A) I'm plenty relaxed and B) how in the hell do women in places like Afghanistan get pregnant?  THAT'S stress.  /rant. 

On the flip side, every now and then I shout out a little pray into the universe for those I know who are also struggling.  I'm certainly not the only one and I feel deeply sympathetic for those ttc who would be such great mamas and papas. 

Your journey is new, so there is much to be hopeful for.  As I'm sure you're aware, it takes the average couple 6-12 months to conceive.  No matter how envious I may feel, I still love hearing about BFPs because I know someone is momentarily full of joy and that makes me happy.  So please share when the planets align for you.  All the best 

[Jaimee]

Welcome to MDC!!     And congrats on deciding to TTC!  Are you just going for it or do you have plans to chart, use OPK's, etc.?  Feel free to share your charts, ask lots of questions, and yes, vent!  Good luck!

[Ncat]

Thank you so much for the warm welcome, ladies!! :)

Isis, yes - my thoughts exactly! Yes, I hope that when my time comes for that BFP, I'll have my head on straight enough to be a little more sensitive towards others (at least, more so than THAT lady you mentioned! Wow!) I understand that since I'm so new to TTC, I don't really feel 100% what others have felt who are struggling, who have had such long journeys and are continuing and hoping and praying... but I have a tiny taste of it, and I know that if it's already affecting me this early on, the women who have gone through loss and several cycles are some amazingly strong and courageous women, and my heart goes out to them. I definitely will be rooting for everyone here for BFPs every month!!!

Jaimee - thank you! Yes, I've just started charting, but I started out kind of haphazardly, skipping some days and not really thinking of it. The more I started reading about what charting can tell you about your body, the more I got into it! It is amazing and so neat to follow! I haven't thought about using OPKs yet - last month started out with "not trying, not preventing" but now I'm hell bent on trying! LOL! I was very disappointed when AF showed up today. I'd had a few symptoms that I thought might have been early pregnancy symptoms, so I got my hopes up too quickly, but I'm learning and I know better for next time.

I am so glad I found this community! You all are wonderful :)

[lilacvioletiris]

You may want to try getting involved in one of the threads based on age - there is a threads for ladies TTC in their 20s, 30s, and 40s.  I appreciate the feedback and feel the joy and pain as the rollercoaster of TTC rolls on.  Welcome to the exciting time in our lives!

[Jaimee]

I only mentioned OPK's b/c a lot of people first starting out try those first largely b/c they are well known and seem easy, but from what I've been reading on these boards, they aren't very reliable for a lot of women and they're expensive.  Charting is so much more informative and helpful so great that you're doing that!   Keep us posted with this next cycle!  And I agree... join one of the other threads as well that fits your age or stage at which you're at.  They get a lot of traffic and it's nice to be able to just pop on and post a quick note instead of a whole new thread whenever you feel like it.

[Ncat]

Thanks, lilac and Jaimee! Will definitely partake in the TTC in the 30s, thank you!

Yes, from what I have seen of using OPKs, I am a little uncertain about them right now... but I'm not opposed to trying it out one day. I really have liked charting and I vow to be much more conscientious about it and pay closer attention to my body - which is a great thing. I feel like I should have been charting a long time ago! I will definitely keep you posted. Thanks again for the warm welcome, I'm excited about learning about TTC and about all the ladies here 

[Jaimee]

Originally Posted by Ncat 

Yes, from what I have seen of using OPKs, I am a little uncertain about them right now... but I'm not opposed to trying it out one day.

Oh right... I wasn't meaning to encourage their use, what you're doing is great!

[Ncat]

Originally Posted by Jaimee 

Oh right... I wasn't meaning to encourage their use, what you're doing is great!

Gotcha! 

[Jessimaca]

Hi Ncat!

I am right there with you!!!!  I have been feeling very similar .  I am new here, just started charting this month (month 3 of TTC), and I decided to join to hopefully learn and get support.  I'm glad to meet someone in the same place!

[Ncat]

Hello Jessimaca! Sorry - I had responded to you in the TTC in 30s thread but I guess if I quote you, then the comment has to be approved. But anyway - congrats on your marriage and I am so glad you feel the same way! I also have those fears that it won't work for me, but I think that's natural and realistic. Just have to try to stay positive for now, I guess! I worry all the time about everything anyway, so that will be hard for me to do, lol... Glad to have met you and looking forward to getting to know you!

And Jaimee - thanks again, and I got ya!

[Jessimaca]

Well, we will keep in touch in the 30s thread then!  I am definitely a worrier too-- I am really trying not to be.  It's like I have to keep talking myself out of that mindset.  Anyway, good luck and we will keep in touch!