Are your kids growing up too fast? Or not fast enough?

[ecoteat]

I often hear people say they wish their babies and kids would stop growing so fast. Or that they couldn't wait for a certain age/phase to hurry up and be over. I noticed recently that I can't think of many times that I've heard someone appreciate the pace that their children are actually growing at. So how do you see it?

[mamazee]

Occasionally I will feel like one particular phase could hurry up and end, like screeching or something, but generally I'm happy with their rate of growth.

[MJB]

I feel a different way about all 3 of my children-- my oldest seems a bit babyish for his age, my middle one is just right, and I'm totally bummed that my last baby is already a toddler. 

[velochic]

I have tried to savor every moment of every stage, knowing that dd will be my only.  I think she is growing and maturing just as I would hope she would.  I have never thought or said that I wish a stage would pass.  I do get nostalgic for those that have passed.  She was a really neat toddler and the discovery during that stage was also a stage of discovery for me.  Each stage has been a joy.  I don't think I could ask for much more as a mommy.  I feel very blessed.

[34me]

My guys are 17, 15 and almost 13.  I can't believe I am the shortest in my house at 5'6" and they will start flying away for longer periods of time soon.  I'm ok with the little hops out of the nest but I'm not so sure about the empty nest yet....

[MusicianDad]

My kids so far, are growing up just the way they are supposed to (in other words, naturally).

[seawitch]

My 4 year old DS could grow up a bit. He is HIGH needs and I hope a year or two will make a difference in how well I can tolerate him.

DD is perfect, or even a bit fast. I want her to stay a baby forever, but she's only 10 months behind DS. So if I rush him along, then I rush her too. Boo.

[meemee]

very bittersweet for me.

on one hand i feel dd is growing up tooo fast....

... on the other hand i cant wait to see how she will be tomorrow. 

she is at the right pace, but emotionally since i am a baby lover - i miss those sweet innocent toddler years. 

all i can say is time just flies. i have of course had my amount of challenges - but even then time just flies. we sit and 'talk' and i find 3 hours just whizzed past. 

[One_Girl]

I have always loved the different stages my dd has gone through, except when she was three.  Three was an awful year and I couldn't wait for it to end.  I think when people want their kids to grow out of a stage it isn't about wanting the kid growing up faster it is about wanting the kid to stop a particularly annoying habit that is hard for the parent to cope with calmly.  When you live with other people there are often things that you just can't stand about them and wish they would stop doing even if they are adults.

[mtiger]

I savored each stage, thinking to myself "it just can't get better than this!" Inevitably - it did. So far, I like where we're at now the best - a young adult (19) and one nearly there (17). We do things together now because we want to, not because it's stuff we HAVE to do together. We like each other, both as people related to one another, but also just as individuals. The relationship is much more equitable, as it were. And it's really tremendous to be at the point in their lives where they're starting to make their dreams come true, spreading their wings and flying on their own - which is what we raise them to do.

[EarthMommy80]

Depends on the day ;)

[CatsCradle]

I guess when I'm in the thick of it, I don't think too much about it.  I do get sentimental, however, when I see younger kids coming into DD's school and I have flashbacks, or when I compare this year's beach photos to last years.  For me it is more of "where does time go" and "how did she get so tall"?

[Mummoth]

I've felt both ways at different times, so I voted that they're growing at the right pace. DD is 7, and I think feeling the pressure a bit to grow up... some of her friends are already interested in music geared toward pre-teens, she's asked to wear her play make-up out, stuff like that. But she still likes playing with her stuffies, doll stroller, and tea set... things I consider more age appropriate... so she's at sort of a funny stage. I think that parents have some influence on how quickly their kids grow up... her birthday was a few weeks ago and we got her a guitar, some play food and a sewing kit. She loves it all and plays with it... but I could have picked 'older kid' toys and she'd have liked them, too. I won't do that until the older kid toys are the ONLY things she's asking for!

[tjjazzy]

i voted for growing faster but ONLY bc i want DS2 to mature a bit (make going out easier and sleep through the night.) i don't want DS1 to grow too fast; he's already nearly 6! i am NOT a fan of the entire first year and i'm always wondering why mommies are always lamenting their baby's first birthdays. maybe i'll find out with this next baby (we've been through 9 months of colic so we don't get loving the whole infant stage at all.)

[meemee]

Originally Posted by tjjazzy 
 i am NOT a fan of the entire first year and i'm always wondering why mommies are always lamenting their baby's first birthdays. maybe i'll find out with this next baby (we've been through 9 months of colic so we don't get loving the whole infant stage at all.)

you know i really feel there are two kinds of people. people who enjoy babies and people who dont. in our house my mom was the teenage person and my dad was the baby person. he did most of the nurturing - actively wanting to play wiith us (which mom really didnt wanna do) till we were about 8/9. 

i am like my dad. I love babies (mine and others). i have a child who is an epitome of high needs, intense, explosive - you name it she is that. anything more than one inch was too much space between us. 

oh gosh!!! parenting is getting soooo hard now. perhaps i should rephrase my earlier sentence. i get along better with babies and young ones till they hit their tweens. not just my kid - any kids. i am one of the favourite volunteers in dd's grade and i usually am in charge of all the difficult kids. i find it 'easier' to talk to them. 

but i notice its getting harder. real harder. i feel what i did before was soooo much easier. dd will be 9 shortly and let me tell ya i am struggling. most of the time there are no easy answers. 

looking back i find my relationship is so based on what i have discovered about how my relationship with people are. i am my most comfortable with kids preteens and those above 40. i am finding that about my dd too. 

while it was hard as a baby, i was a much more confident mom. now its not. i want to scream. i want to lecture. but instead all i need to do is a look and silence. and that is soooo hard because i have to wait to figure out if dd got it or not. i dont get instant gratification that she did. or i didnt get my chance to really speak my mind the way i wanted to to make things clear. 

[tjjazzy]

meemee, i can imagine the tween/teen stages will be VERY difficult! eep. it makes me nervous thinking that one day they will think i'm so uncool and hate me and all that fun stuff! better enjoy all the love and doting i get from ds2 now, eh? i do enjoy him (and his brother) but i'd enjoy him a lot more if he'd sleep better LOL

[rightkindofme]

I like to tell my girls that they are perfectly doing what they are supposed to be doing. Some of what they are supposed to be doing is supposed to drive me nuts. Oh darling three year old.... Please stop breaking things that belong to other people! I want a curious child. I want a curious child. I want a curious child.

Eta: how in the heck did to be become robe?

[BornInSeptember]

Way too fast! I am really enjoying each stage as it comes along, but he is growing so quickly!

[LadyCatherine185]

way too fast for me... DS1 was a very unhappy 0-10 month old, but since then has been very happy and I have loved every minute. He is almost 3.. and really growing into a KID. Not a baby. Not a toddler. A KID.

DS2 is almost 8 months and other than some colic/reflux/digestive issues on and off has been a VERY happy baby. Since 5 months he has been super happy.. Just this week he has started crawling and pulling up. It won't be long before he is a toddler, and I am very emotional about it.. even more so than with my first.

Maybe because my babies are big (9 lbs at birth, 21 lbs by 6 months, 27 lbs by a year) and they do things a little on the early side (DS1 crawled at 6/7 months and walked at 9 months) and both have been early talkers (DS2 has 3 words already, DS1 talks like a 4 year old... at 18 months he had 150 words)..... So they do sort of grow up faster than most babies their age.

They are growing up perfectly in their own time, but it is just too fast for me.

[SkyTower]

I always can't wait for my kid to be older.  I'm not a very patient person.  It gets boring with her doing the same things.  I like when she does new and exciting things.  I can't wait to see what kind of person she will turn out to be.  I can't wait until she can talk to me and share her thoughts.  I am not nostalgic about her past at all.

I was especially this way for the first 6 months.  Those months are just boring for me.  The baby can't do anything.  I love the cuddles, but maybe I'm just not a baby person.  I'm really not looking forward to having more babies but I do want more kids some day.

I do try enjoy the here and now, but I'm always ready for the next thing.