Montessori pupils selfish?

[irishconger]

After over 30 years of occupational experience (engineer), I am now able to recognise educational patterns in colleagues present and past.

I have worked with people from many cultures, mostly western / central Europeans.

In the latter years, I am encountering people who have received their pre-university education at Montessori schools.

My 1st impressions of this 'class' (debateable term!) is that they could be described as 'selfish', or better self-centred. The scope of their social awareness is limited, and their basic manners unusually self-centred. This contrasts to the Steiner pupils, whose social awareness is superb.

Is this a justified view... or have I just hit 'a bad bunch'?

Thanks for your views. -g-

[ollyoxenfree]

Originally Posted by irishconger 

After over 30 years of occupational experience (engineer), I am now able to recognise educational patterns in colleagues present and past.

I have worked with people from many cultures, mostly western / central Europeans.

In the latter years, I am encountering people who have received their pre-university education at Montessori schools.

My 1st impressions of this 'class' (debateable term!) is that they could be described as 'selfish', or better self-centred. The scope of their social awareness is limited, and their basic manners unusually self-centred. This contrasts to the Steiner pupils, whose social awareness is superb.

Is this a justified view... or have I just hit 'a bad bunch'?

Thanks for your views. -g-

Do you mean the kind of superb social awareness demonstrated by abruptly entering a new community with barely any introduction and immediately questioning the character of its members and/or their children? 

If your own example reflects what you consider refined "social awareness", I'm afraid that your credibility on the subject is somewhat questionable so I'm not sure I can rely on your assessment of Montessori and Steiner students. 

Thanks for the laugh, though. Welcome to the forum. I hope you read past threads and learn from the community. 

[irishconger]

Thanks for the welcome to your forum Olly.... 2926 posts... impressive!

Anyways... I guess you and your forum are a waste of time for me... one of those pesky little experiences one has to make in life.

As regards your abusive posture... maybe you had best try it out in front of a (full length) mirror. You surely will be impressed... I was!

Farewell Olly... a virtual conglomerate of bytes... internet debris.

-g-

[lauren]

Welcome Irishconger. I hope you will stick around. So you are saying that you are looking at adults that seem self centered and finding that in their early years they received Montessori education? Just trying to understand the gist of it. Let's see if we can have a more considerate discourse of this topic.

[sbarr_NY]

I'll assume your post was to generate questions and conversation and not to attack without substantiating facts.

Depending on your target population - as a quantitative person, you should recognize the difference between causation and correlation.  Before making such dramatic generalities would recommend that you consider the full picture, rather than assume a limited causation relationship.

An alternative perspective - when my daughter was about 1 1/2, I met with a couple of educators with the specific question - if I were to spend the extra money in the first 6 years of education or the last 6 years, the consensus opinion was the first 6 years.  Anecdotallly, they were able to recognize those who were Montessori educated as more self-sufficient, self-directed, etc.  Note - these were high school teachers.

Granted, it must be recognized that parents who send their children to Montessori are especially involved in their children's development so the Montessori cannot be assumed to be the sole reason for successful students in high school.

I have to admit, I'm a bit skeptical of a professional asking other professionals - "so, you were a Montessori or Waldoft student?" - I'm sure that is not the approach you took, but again, seems a bit suspect that a brand new participant to this forum would make such a dramatic statement without taking into consideration all of the factors involved with a person's education and subsequent professional career.

[2xy]

Originally Posted by irishconger 

My 1st impressions of this 'class' (debateable term!) is that they could be described as 'selfish', or better self-centred. The scope of their social awareness is limited, and their basic manners unusually self-centred. This contrasts to the Steiner pupils, whose social awareness is superb.

I would like some examples of this selfishness/self-centeredness. What you call selfish, I might call "not being a doormat." Lots of kids are raised to be people-pleasers.

My kids have not attended a Montessori school, nor does our homeschool resemble Montessori schooling, but I have gone out of my way to teach them how to say "no" to people, since it's been something I've struggled hard with in my life.

[Emma Bryan Fuller]

my boys were in Montessori for 3 yrs and honestly neither would be described as selfish, or their peers. 

[magicofeden]

You have hit a bad bunch!  Unfortunately, not all Montessori schools are created equal.  What you will find, I'm sure, if you dig deeper into the situation, is that your students came from a Montessori school that was the local "it" school.  What I mean by this is that the school had expensive tuition and parents of those children would send them on that information alone and purely for the status symbol that it provided.  When THAT happens, you get a bunch of kids whose parents aren't involved because Mom and Dad think the school is taking care of it.  

Montessori isn't an approach to teaching alone, it's an all encompassing method that penetrates homelife.  It should be, anyway.  Uninvolved parents equate Montessori with "no rules" and apply that at home instead of taking the time to enforce the right rules.  That makes it really rough on the teachers and completely strips the legitimacy of the school.  

A real Montessori school (A Children's House) is full of involved families who heavily rely on respect and grace and courtesy.  Sorry you had such a bad experience! 

[magicofeden]

I would like some examples of this selfishness/self-centeredness. What you call selfish, I might call "not being a doormat." Lots of kids are raised to be people-pleasers. I appreciate you making that distinction.  Though I teach my son to share and care, I've also let him know it's OK to say "No, thank you" when someone asks for one of his toys.  It's a hard line to travel, polite but not overly compliant.  A lot of people are afraid to talk about that, so thanks! 

[Flor]

Wow!

[mattemma04]

In general I have not experienced this with Montessori children. Some are selfish,but I have little doubt they would have been that way regardless of their education style.