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The honeymoon is over

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 

and boy can my girlie scream and throw a tantrum!


I know she's testing limits and melting down for a reason, I know it's all part of the process for her, it's so hard to see her struggle. Tell me about your experience with the early months of your adopted kids, this is normal and I will survive this, right?

post #2 of 8
Thread Starter 

I know I will survive this, it's just overwhelming at times.

post #3 of 8

(((HUGS.))) Yep, it's perfectly normal and won't last forever. My DS was placed with me when he was two, as well. Two is a tough age for many children but it's even harder for children who've had traumatic pasts. DS went through a stage (pre-and post-placement) of major headbanging and tantrums but that tapered off after a while. He did participate in some play therapy which likely helped, too.

post #4 of 8

You will survive and so will she : )  This is normal.  And in my totally unscientific opinion, the sooner the better! Sending you hugs! 

post #5 of 8

Sagewinna - Congrats! I've been off forum for a while so just read about your newest little one. There's an amazing book I read that changed the way I think about children's crying. I just thought of it when I read your post. It's called "Tears and Tantrums" by Aletha Solter. It's amazing.

post #6 of 8

Our oldest was 11 months at adoption.  She was the queen of tantrums for a very long time.  Hang in there.

post #7 of 8

Our daughter was 9, almost 10 months at adoption.  She was a toddler, though, through and through.  Holy cow those early months were rough.  It helped me to step back sometimes and remind myself that the challenges of a new family (adoption) were really tough for her at the age she was.  She just didn't have the tools to process it, and was in a big tantrum/independence phase that made it all so much harder for her and for us.


Be gentle with yourself!  Breathe deep.

post #8 of 8
Thread Starter 

Thank you, we are doing somewhat better now. She didn't eat much for a few days and yesterday her appetite came back. We are having a lot more good moments than challenging ones. She just gets frustrated, and it's totally understandable given what she's been through, and we are working on signing and using her words so we can figure out what she needs. My older girls are in her face too much, wanting to pick her up and stuff and we're working on them respecting her boundaries.


The biggest issue now is teaching her how to love on the cats. She LOVES the cats. She wants to squeeze them and hug them and lay on them and she's quicker than a wink when she sees one and I'm busy!


Thank you for the support.

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