Mama sits down with laptop and notes. Children are finally playing quietly in separate rooms. Mama begins trying to decipher her statistics final.
DD begins driving a skateboarding spider loudly up and down the legs of the desk. When chased away, she yells from the other room “You working, Mama?...I help you, Mama! I draw for you…where is the pens?”
DS asks if he can make his “specialty”, tortilla with chocolate syrup & apple sauce…sulks when told no. Both children discover that they are hungry and need a snack NOW, before they perish from starvation. Mama fetches goldfish and apple slices.
DD begins loud conversation (singing and rhyming) with skateboarding spider and baby doll…cracks herself up when she rhymes “you” with “poo”…suddenly remembers she has to go potty and NEEDS Mama to help.
Mama sits down at laptop again. Dog barks furiously. The mail is here. Children fight over junk mail. DS gets his feelings hurt when told that he needs to put it in the recycling and that he can’t work with his chemistry kit right now. It requires adult supervision.
DS asks (for the 14th time) if he can have a playdate….PLEASE…or can he just go across the street to see if Best-Friend is home…PLEASE and begins singing under his breath “I want to watch a movie” in a subtle attempt at subliminal suggestion.
DD yells at DS .DS accuses DD of gloating. DD yells “I’m ‘noring you, brudder!” at the top of her lungs. DD begins covering her rocking horse with scotch tape and DS stands over her telling her to stop until she throws the tape dispenser at him.
Mama snarls at children. Children retreat briefly. DS asks again if he can watch a movie. Is told no and begins the subliminal singing again.
Sisters-in-law arrive (carrying a pink guitar and a crepe recipe). DD demands to go home with them but refuses to put on shoes or pants, so is left behind, wailing.
Mama sits down at laptop again, threatens children with chores. They retreat…DS making zombie arms at DD who screams...unclear if it is in delight or terror.
The doorbell rings, it’s DD's pre-school teacher borrowing a life-jacket. DD emerges from the bedroom wearing four dresses and mittens on her feet. She trips and needs a band-aid..or three.
Mama sits down at the laptop again. The phone rings. My cousin is coming to visit. The phone rings again immediately. The sitter will be out of town for another week. The children make so much noise that Mama has to barricade herself in the office to hear. Hissed threats and sign language involving zipping of lips have no effect.
Mama sits down at the laptop again. The doorbell rings. It is the Jehovah’s Witnesses. The dog is beside himself. DS wails in a ghostly voice "HUUNGRYYY" from outside the open window. Mama wants to cry.