The finer points of juggling a toddler and new baby. Tips, please. (x-posted in Toddlers)

[Beauchamp]

DS is 3 weeks old, DD is 2yo. Some days things fall into place, and other days...everything hits the fan and everyone is crying. I've heard tips like "babywearing saved me"...and yet, sometimes DS will NOT go into the carrier so I can tend to DD's needs. One is sleeping on me, and the other says "Poo poo, Mama!"

Help!

Anyone have any specific advice, or specific tips or tricks that you learned that really worked, or helped you while juggling a toddler and a new little one?

[LadyCatherine185]

((((hugs)))) mama, I had a really tough time juggling a baby and toddler... we are 7.5 months in and I can tell you IT DOES GET EASIER! In the beginning, it was survival mode all the way. DS1 got to watch way too much tv. DS2 got put down for a few minutes for me to change a poop diaper and yes, he had to cry. I didn't get showers until DH got home, and even then, both boys ended up crying while I was in there. My DS2 had to be held for every nap (and he took 7-8 naps a day for a LONG time!) until 5 months old.. and he had colic and reflux and food allergy issues.... It was cold outside so we couldn't go out to play (DS2 was born in December)... in February we got hit with some bad sickness (DH got pneumonia, I got influenza (flu), and both of the boys got RSV and ear infections... ALL AT THE SAME TIME!)  it was a rough first few months. DS2 got worn in a carrier a lot so he could nap while I played with DS1.... One thing that really helped was to give DS1 as much one-on-one (or play outside) time as possible in the morning, so that he didn't "need" me as much the rest of the day.

Around 5 months old, DS2 started sitting up on his own, and would happily play with toys for awhile.. AND- this was huge- he started letting me put him down for naps! around that time i also started instituting more of a "routine" to our day. We got outside every morning, and even though DS1 no longer napped, we had a quiet time every afternoon. the days were finally manageable!

In the last few weeks, it has gotten even better/easier. Everyday is more fun. I am finally enjoying my boys again.. we still have some rough days here and there, but for the most part, we have a good rhythm and we are having a blast.

good luck!

[melon]

Dunno, but I'm right there with you. Mine are 26 mo and 7 weeks.

And the little one is a CRIER. He's so hard to soothe. Sometimes he is screaming and I have to put him down to tend to his brother (potty/booboo/discipline/etc) and then he screams like someone's hurting him.

Also, the 2 year old doesn't nap, except sometimes for a few minutes in the car. He will not be worn either, but the baby usually likes it ok.

Today was one of those "hit the fan" days where everyone is crying.

DH works long hours this time of year, so he's out from 8 am till 9 pm

So yeah, I'll be watching this thread. Hopefully someone has some advice for us. 

[LadyCatherine185]

^^ it is not letting me edit, but my DS2 was born in November, not December.. ;)

[Dot-to-Dot]

I'm in the same boat (4 week old and 21 month old).  Whew, it's hard some days.  If everyone is alive by the end of the day and there are no major injuries, we call it a good day.  Something that has been helpful for me is to have a station in every room of the house.  Or to have some mobile stations...like a bouncy seat that I can easily carry with one hand and while nursing.  I'll grab that and move it in the bathroom so I can safely plop the baby down and wash hands after a diaper change or something.  When the toddler wakes from a nap, I usually have to carry a bouncer into her room so I can put the little one down so as not to rush the older one out of bed as we change the diaper and do our routine.

Then, during mealtime, it helps tremendously to offer some healthy hors dourves...my toddler will be over the moon if you give a raw green bean to munch on.  But, anything that takes a long time to eat helps us to avoid a half hour of whining that she's hungry while I'm cooking.

Buying an Aqua-Doodle has helped, too.  She loves crayons but I could never get them out and then leave the room to change a diaper or anything because there is no telling what she'd do with them.  (And our dog devours crayons faster than you can say newborn-diaper-blowout).  So the Aqua-Doodle mat was a great alternative.  There is no mess and I can plop it out when I'm nursing in order to keep her busy.

Swaddling and having a motorized swing is a godsend sometimes.  (I advise the ones that plug into the wall and not a battery operated one).  Wearing the baby in a wrap would probably work well, too, but my infant spits up a lot (she has bad reflux and it's not just a little here and there, it'll soak you top to bottom).  Unless I want to give her a bath every single time I wear her, it's best I put her down somewhere.

There's a bouncy seat out now that jiggles on it's own and it has a very cozy newborn insert that helps the baby feel wrapped.  And lastly, we have that Fisher Price Rock and Play rocker.  (great for reflux babies because it keeps them up at an angle).  It's very light and easy to carry and it also folds up so you can put it away out of sight when you want to or you can pack it up in the car and easily take this baby station with you to Grandma's.

I hate to suggest all this equipment.  I actually hold my baby MOST of the day.  She doesn't sleep unless on me, so she doesn't really nap in any of these stations.  But, if I didn't have several options of places to put her down in the blink of an eye while toddler is pulling egg shells out of the trash and running egg whites through her hair - I don't know what I'd do!  Wearing baby is probably the best option, but these have been great alternatives for me.

[Dot-to-Dot]

Oh and I have to admit, like someone else said, my DD just flat out watches too much TV right now.  We have Sesame Street on netflix live streaming so we have access to it 24/7.  I hate that I've had to rely on TV, but sometimes I simply have to do it because I know she's safe while glued to the TV and I am in the basement trying to quickly switch the laundry over or something.

[MoonWillow]

Please feel free to join the existing thread here.

Thank you :)