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Ever get "I hope for your sake this is a girl (or boy)" comments? - Page 2

post #21 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by **mom2one** View Post

We get this all the time too - we have two dds and are expecting #3 (a surprise) so people automatically think we were trying for a boy.  Either way I could care less - I am not going to love this child just as much as I love the two I have.  We don't find out the sex before birth, but everyone says they are hoping for a boy for my husband - he says he loves his little girls and doesn't feel like he needs to have a boy to be happy and that either way he will be happy - people just have weird ideas I guess!

 

 

Just saw the typo - what I meant to say was - I AM going to love this child just as much as I love the two we have - no matter if it's a boy or a girl.... Yeah that sounds better! lol
 

 

post #22 of 43
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by **mom2one** View Post



Just saw the typo - what I meant to say was - I AM going to love this child just as much as I love the two we have - no matter if it's a boy or a girl.... Yeah that sounds better! lol
 

 

lol.gif I wondered, but wasn't going to say anything winky.gif I assumed it was a typo!
 

 

post #23 of 43

Just had my third boy a little over a month ago, and, um, yes, everything you said.  My MIL now has 6 grandsons and if I had to guess, would have been happy with 6 granddaughters (and no grandsons).  I was so stressed out about disappointing her and getting stupid comments that I went through this whole song and dance that we had to announce it on our family blog, and the wording had to be just so (had to convey that we were happy and deter comments), and then my DH told her on the phone and I was upset because I thought that made it into a big thing ... turns out she had already decided it was a boy to protect herself from being devastated ... ugh.

 

I have to say, though, that the worst comments came from strangers at the store who saw me with my two boys and their eyes would light up and they'd say, "a girl this time?" and I would smile back and say "no", and I'd have to watch their faces fall and then fumble for words.  One clerk at Costco actually said, "you wanted a girl this time" and I shook my head and she looked confused and said "you wanted another boy?" like I had said I wanted to give birth to Hitler.  I said, "we would have been happy either way" and left it at that.  Another time, the photographer at Picture People said, "oh, you must be so disappointed, I bet you wanted a girl this time."  I took it pretty well but it bothered me for days. 

 

At least everyone in both our families, as well as close friends, are clear that we were not "trying for a girl" because I always told people I wanted 4 kids before I ever got pregnant.  It still bugs the crap out of me that strangers assume it, though.  I'm sure when I have our 4th boy in a few years, if I am blessed with a 4th pregnancy, that it will get even worse.  Pooh on them -- they have no idea how wonderful our sons are!  The only appropriate response when someone tells you the sex of their baby is "congratulations" -- period.

post #24 of 43

Yes, it is also happening to me.  We have 2 sons, and this baby was a surprise.  We get the "I hope it's a girl" from everyone!  When/if they ask me what I want, I always say either one is wonderful.  I'd hate to have another boy everyone be disappointed.  I would want him to know that his mama is very happy he's a boy.

 

We find out in 4 weeks....

post #25 of 43

I know what you mean hun. I got those exact same comments before I knew this LO was a girl (we already have 2 boys). And now we know, when people ask and we tell them the first thing most people say is 'FINALLY!!' as if now I can be happy :shrug

post #26 of 43

Although I'm pregnant with number one (due this month!!), I totally understand where you ladies are coming from! People are so weird about the sex of the baby. I actually find it super frustrating when people ask what we want it to be. I want it to be a baby that's healthy. That's all I care about.

 

I'm one of four girls and my Dad used to get comments from people all the time about it, but honestly he never cared that he didn't have boys. All of us girls are close with my Dad and I like having all sisters! 

 

 

post #27 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by Abraisme View Post

Yup, this is very true.  When we found out that #2 was a girl I had A LOT of people say things like, "Oh how perfect, a boy and a girl and now you're family is complete".  I would often answer that we plan on having at least 8 so it didn't really matter.  What business is it of yours (mostly strangers) how many kids I have?  I'm not an easily offended person and I'm often out-spoken about some issues, but I work really hard to be polite in this regard.  You just never know how someone else might feel about their family.
 

 



I have a son and am currently pregnant with a daughter. I get these same comments all the time, and I hate it! Since I have one of each, I don't have permission to have a third child?

post #28 of 43



your MIL refused to speak to you?! what was it she wanted you to do to control the sex of the baby for HER??? ugh. that just seems....i'm sorry you've had to deal with that :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by amaayeh View Post

ME!!!  I got those comments at the grocery, from friends, family, etc.  It turned out to be a girl and my MIL has still refused to even speak to us since her birth. 

post #29 of 43
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by tjjazzy View Post



your MIL refused to speak to you?! what was it she wanted you to do to control the sex of the baby for HER??? ugh. that just seems....i'm sorry you've had to deal with that :(



Yeah no kidding! My MIL wants a girl VERY VERY BADLY by us...her own daughters are both pregnant with boys so there is tons of pressure on me. I know the feeling of MIL disappointment- we've had 2 boys, and each time, although she was still happy, it was obvious she was still disappointed too. I just wish FAMILY was a bit more supportive even with gender disappointment.

 

I too am sorry you've had to go through that, PP!! How awful!

post #30 of 43
Thread Starter 

Ok, I had to bring this thread back to vent about a reaction from a stranger. We were in the checkout line at a store, and a lady saw my 2 boys, touched my tummy and said "I bet you're wanting a girl this time!" and I said "Well it's already a boy and we're excited!" 

 

She immediately put her hand over her mouth and looked horrified, then just walked away. Apparently a "congratulations" is only warranted if the kids have both sets of genitals? Amazing that some people react that way, isn't it? headscratch.gif

post #31 of 43

The whole gender thing makes me hopping mad! My first was a boy, much to our joy and delight (we had no preference). With our first, everyone was angry that we chose to wait to find out the sex. Both my MIL and my father were disappointed it was a boy. My MIL because my DH is an only child and she always wanted a girl. My father because he's a photographer and thinks boys aren't photogenic. !!!

 

Every since DS was born, people have been saying, "Time for a little sister!" I'm pregnant again, and the whole thing makes me so bananas that I'm almost hoping for another boy.

 

Why are people such idiots?

post #32 of 43

My oldest is a girl, and then the next two are boys.  I am due in a couple months, and while there is a part of me thinking cute dresses and things would be fun- (DD is almost 10, frilly dresses aren't happening lol) in the grand scheme of things we are just hoping for a healthy person to join our family.  I can't think of much worse than having a baby just to have a specific gender- does that mean if it is the 'wrong' gender, we don't really want them?  

 

My two boys are very close in age and are absolutely best friends and enemies all at once.  It is a very stereotypical brother relationship, and it's amazing to watch.  They are different than my daughter was- both much more physical and we jokingly refer to them both as wrecking balls on legs. I don't think the relationship would necessarily look the same with a brother/sister as it does with the two boys.  I'm sure it would be wonderful as well, but these two are just so very well suited to each other, I can't imagine wishing it were different. 

post #33 of 43

Yes, I have heard this often.  I have 4 girls and am due with a 5th girl. 

 

Recent comments:

  • "4 girls?  I don't envy you."  --said by store clerk, right in front of my girls.  I didn't have the heart to tell her I was having another, but I did say, "Why?  I love my life."  She mumbled some story about how her mom had 4 girls and tried to dress the the same.
  • "Your husband must be so disappointed!" -- said by my student.  I told her that on the contrary, he felt very lucky just to be having another child.
  • "Another girl, huh?  Your poor husband."- said by way too many people to count.

 

I think, though, this has all gotten better as time has passed.  I didn't even tell people the gender, don't talk about the PG much in general, etc. unless people bring it up/ask.  Now that most people who care know, the conversations have ended.  Some people are even nice about it.  One stranger said, "Four girls!  How wonderful!"

 

My MIL expressed her wishes for a boy.  When I tried to tell her that a study was done in which m/s was more common when people carry girls (mine was the worst this time . . .I just knew I'd have another girl) to let her down easy, she said, "Well, I've heard the opposite."  As academic as my MIL is, I think she was making that up to feel hopeful.  I felt bad for her.  Wishing for a certain gender is such a waste of time and energy, and negates the very idea that we are all unique.  While we are at it, should we wish that we are taller or shorter, too? 

 

Anyway, if people make comments to you, pretty much the best thing to do is ask them "Why?"  It's not rude if you say it with a confused look.  This puts them on the spot.  Then they have to admit that they think one gender is better than another, which is dumb, and they will have to admit it.

 

 

post #34 of 43
I have a little girl and Im having a boy this time and people always say "Oh, well you can be done now" as if the gender of a child somehow determines how many children we choose to have. eyesroll.gif
post #35 of 43
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mizelenius View Post 

 

Anyway, if people make comments to you, pretty much the best thing to do is ask them "Why?"  It's not rude if you say it with a confused look.  This puts them on the spot.  Then they have to admit that they think one gender is better than another, which is dumb, and they will have to admit it.

 

 


That is very good advice. Thank you! I guess this whole thing has just caught me really off guard...I had NO idea people would be this hostile/rude just because I'm having a 3rd boy. My husband doesn't think I should let it get to me, and I probably shouldn't, but it's just so hard. It makes me also ask the question "Why does the perfect family have to be a boy and a girl?" Who made that rule anyway?

post #36 of 43
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mizelenius View Post

Yes, I have heard this often.  I have 4 girls and am due with a 5th girl. 

 

Recent comments:

  • "4 girls?  I don't envy you."  --said by store clerk, right in front of my girls.  I didn't have the heart to tell her I was having another, but I did say, "Why?  I love my life."  She mumbled some story about how her mom had 4 girls and tried to dress the the same.
  • "Your husband must be so disappointed!" -- said by my student.  I told her that on the contrary, he felt very lucky just to be having another child.
  • "Another girl, huh?  Your poor husband."- said by way too many people to count.

 



jaw2.gifThat is horrible! I'm sorry you've had rude comments similar to the ones I've gotten. I would be livid if someone ever said that about my DH. In my case, since they're all boys, I get the "I'm so sorry for you" comment a lot. Having to justify my happiness about bringing another boy into the world is ridiculous

post #37 of 43

I have 3 girls and got comments starting with the 2nd pregnancy. We even got comments when one of Hubs friends found out his third was a boy after 2 girls.  Grrr. After daughter #3 was born there were so many comments my 3 year old said she wanted to grow up to be a boy. I have gotten SOO many comments with #4. Everyone thinks we are having a baby just to try and have a boy.  I finally posted this on facebook

 

 

Quote:
by the way- No, we aren't trying for a boy, so everyone can stop asking. No we will not continue having babies until we get a boy. It is not about boy or girl, but just adding another amazing soul to our family.

I honestly can't decide WHAT gender I want more! Sometimes I think a boy would be great and sometimes I want another little girl and in the end I will be over the moon about any baby! Hubs agrees, he loves his girls and would LOVE another girl, he would also love a boy...or any baby he can get obsessed with star wars and/or football. the other girls haven't taken the bait.

post #38 of 43

I got that a *lot* with my third pregnancy (who turned out to be my third son).  Annoyed the living daylights out of me.  Once, a complete stranger tore into me at the grocery store.  She asked if we were having a girl, I said I didn't know.  She said it better be a girl.  I said I didn't care, we were open to a large family anyway.  She said that was a ridiculous plan and I'd better stop if I didn't get a girl that time, because nobody can raise a big family in this day and age, we're not farmers anymore, you know.  growl.  I wanted to smack her.

 

I'm expecting our fourth baby this time around, and surprisingly so far people have been slightly more polite, asking me if I'm hoping for a girl, rather than demanding that I have a girl, as if it's up to them.  Maybe the "crazy" line has moved back to 4 kids at this point, so they just think I'm nuts for being pregnant at all?

post #39 of 43

I've had one comment like that but not because I have 2 girls already.  When my SIL found out we wouldn't circumcise a boy, she said she hopes we have a girl because she would feel so sorry for our boy :(  I feel sorry for her that she feels that way.

post #40 of 43

airyfairy, that's horrible! I feel bad for any sons she will have.

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