Ever get "I hope for your sake this is a girl (or boy)" comments? - Page 3

[coldandsleepy]

I'm someone who was hoping for a specific sex (a girl; I always thought I'd have a daughter, and am pretty sure I'm done at 2 babies.  Definitely not going to have a third JUST in hopes that I'd have a daughter), and I STILL think this sort of thing is rude as hell.  People who say things like "oh, too bad, you must be so disappointed" or whatever are making an assumption about someone's feelings on an intensely personal topic.  Even if you ARE disappointed, chances of you wanting to talk about it with some random stranger at the grocery store are slim to none.

[Adia]

Totally pisses me off too! I have girls, and people already make comments about "drama" and "wait until they're teenagers, then you won't like them so much!" (wtf, I get along great with teenagers, they seem to behave how they're treated and I can see why they're a nightmare for people who treat them like crap just because of their age!) and "oh, I'd never want girls! Too much trouble."

Now in addition, I'm getting, "you're crazy if you risk having another girl" and "I sure hope you get a little boy, life's just not complete without a widdle maaannnn." (barf).

I love boys, don't get me wrong, I haven't a thing against them and would love to have a son some day, but I wanted at least 2 girls from the start.

No one needs both genders or one of each by default! I wish people would realise that. Some people feel they need to have both genders or a boy after a few girls, or visa versa. Others, like me, don't. I don't think I should be subjected to a harangue every time someone comments on my family about how apparently horrible having girls is and how horrible more would be. I don't find it horrible in the least!

Edited by Adia - 11/10/11 at 1:43am

[Celticqueen]

Originally Posted by coldandsleepy 

I'm someone who was hoping for a specific sex (a girl; I always thought I'd have a daughter, and am pretty sure I'm done at 2 babies.  Definitely not going to have a third JUST in hopes that I'd have a daughter), and I STILL think this sort of thing is rude as hell.  People who say things like "oh, too bad, you must be so disappointed" or whatever are making an assumption about someone's feelings on an intensely personal topic.  Even if you ARE disappointed, chances of you wanting to talk about it with some random stranger at the grocery store are slim to none.

This was my situation. I was secretive about it to guard myself I guess and only my family knew, but I really wanted a girl this 3rd time around. I cried bitterly for days after finding out. It felt like a knife wound to my heart. I am over it now, and I am thrilled to be having another boy, but it took a little while, and it did make strangers' comments all the more hurtful that first week. In fact, the day after I found out and was still in shock over the whole thing, my neighbor yelled to me "You found out the gender yesterday, right? What it?" and when I told her, she said (again, yelling) "Oh no!!! I bet you wanted a girl! Sad!" Yeah, it IS sad for me and NO I don't feel like talking with you or anyone else about it. I was so upset. Went back in the house and cried again. 

Like I said, I'm fine now, and we want a big family anyway so it's not like this was "our only chance" or something. I just longed for a girl this time, and nature didn't agree.

I've noticed how much easier it is now to respond to rude comments now that I'm at peace with another boy. That first week though was killer...I'll never understand presumptuous, nosy strangers