waiting for the heartbeat

[CassnBeth]

Is anyone else here waiting on tenterhooks to get to the seeing-a-heartbeat bit? Would you like to wait together?

I've had so many miscarriages and we had some weird beta numbers in the beginning (that suddenly resolved themselves and scared the ever living snot out of us) so I am holding my breath until my ultrasound on Friday. I see people just believing from the first positive test that they will actually have a take home baby and I just can't get in to that belief yet.

[Kyamo]

Originally Posted by CassnBeth 

I see people just believing from the first positive test that they will actually have a take home baby and I just can't get in to that belief yet.

Yeah, I don't have that belief either.  I've never had a miscarriage because I've never been pregnant before this, but I have double the risk for one due to my PCOS.  And it took a long time and a lot of clomid, letrozole, and 4 IUIs to get this pregnancy, so right now its still very hard for me to believe I might really get to bring home a baby in March.  I'll wait with you.  I don't have a US date yet, it'll be about 2 more weeks for me I think.  

I hope both of us (and Milk8shake) get take home babies.  

[CassnBeth]

I was really pleased to see you and Milk8shake over here. I am a consummate lurker but I watched both of you on the infertility threads and I'm glad there are more panicky infertiles over here than just me.

I wish my ultrasound date was more like two weeks away; I will be six weeks and two days for mine and I think it may be a little too early. Have you had any betas drawn?

[Kyamo]

Originally Posted by CassnBeth 

I was really pleased to see you and Milk8shake over here. I am a consummate lurker but I watched both of you on the infertility threads and I'm glad there are more panicky infertiles over here than just me.

I wish my ultrasound date was more like two weeks away; I will be six weeks and two days for mine and I think it may be a little too early. Have you had any betas drawn?

I just had my first beta today.  18DPO 1069.  Looking good so far.  Repeat in a week, again a week after that, then schedule an US.  That's how my clinic does it. 

[JunebugsMom]

yes, me for sure.  I've had 2 miscarriages and 2 children.  So it seems like I only have a 50/50 chance of ending up with a baby this time (I know it doesn't really work that way, but that's how it feels to us right now).  We aren't telling anyone or buying anything until our first ultrasound--July 26th (I will be just over 8 weeks).  Of course even then we wil be a bit wary because I lost twins at 9.5wks :(

[Montessortof]

Beth ... it's me ...

[zubeldia]

HI, all. Me too.... I haven't experienced baby loss but I do have high anxiety right now. It was the same with my first. I have lupus (which is dormant right now) but it theoretically puts me at a high m/c risk. My scan is on the 14th. The dr's calculates my due date (at least initially) from date of last period, but my cycles are quite a bit longer. As a result I will be exactly 6 weeks (from ovulation) when I have my scan. I am a bit nervous of not seeing anything, too, and of it being too early. That said I did see a heartbeat with my DS very early on so fingers crossed.

[bcblondie]

I've had 2 miscarriages so I know what you mean. A bfp doens't mean you're taking home a baby. In fact, a heartbeat doens't mean  you're taking home a baby because we heard ours on the dopler last pregnancy and I still miscarried. A fairly large portion of miscarried babies get to like 8 weeks, so clearly they've had a heartbeat... but then it stops.

 I have this feeling the whole "risk of m/c drops to 5% after hearing heartbeat" thing only counts for heartbeats heard around 10 or 12 weeks. Because that's when a doppler usually pics it up. For those of us hearing it early, (7w5d,) or seeing it super early on ultrasound, like 6 weeks, our risk isn't that low yet. What I mean is that, hearing a hb at 10 weeks is not the same as seeing one at 6 weeks.  I hope I make sense. I'm not trying to scare people. It's hard to explain what I mean. Just that I think the miscarriage statistics have been a little misinterpretted.

[zubeldia]

I do know what you mean but I do think there is a sizeable decrease even after you see a heartbeat at around 6 weeks. People who miscarry at 8 weeks may have experienced a blighted ovum and thus they might have a delayed miscarriage. I hope none of us here have this experience. I have a dear friend who lost a baby and it has deeply affected how I feel about pregnancy and the assumption that a bfp means you're taking a baby home. I am so sorry you've experienced such terrible loss yourself, bcblondie

[bcblondie]

Oh definitely! There's going to be a drop with each and every week you pass. Maybe I'm bias but it seems that week 8 is a scary one. If you hit week 9 I feel you are so much safer. Might be just because I lost mine at 8.5 weeks that it seems like everyone else is too, lol. But it just seems so common. And at that gestation your hormones are too high for you to start cramping/bleeding, it typically takes til 12 weeks, when the placenta starts taking over, that you actually start miscarrying.

Thank you for your condolences. I'm sorry for your friend's loss too. I hope you see a hb at your ultrasound. I didn't see one at my 5w6d ultrasound, but we came back in 12 days and there it was. :)

[CassnBeth]

Wow there are more of us than I would have thought!

June: We're not buying anything yet either. I even feel nervous posting here since I can see myself beating myself about it later.

Montessortof: DUDE. I am thrilled you are here.

Zubeldia: Your little boy is just adorable! (I know that is not in any way relevant to miscarriage but I love that photo of him!)

BC: I agree with you that the later you see a heartbeat, the more likely it is to predict a successful pregnancy but I also think that getting the heart started is a great big POSITIVE SIGN about viability. Also, frankly, this is the only feeble reassurance I have to cling to and it is either have some faith or go on some serious heavy sedatives for nine months

[bcblondie]

I totally agree, Cassnbeth. As much as doppler use scares me (am I paranoid about everything, or what? lol) I'm going to be using it every few days or so, just to make sure that heart's still beating. It's no guarantee of a take-home baby, but at least it means that up til today, things are good. And each day that passes is a step closer to holding our babies. :)

[cameragirl]

I am, too. I just had a miscarriage in May, so I'm nervous. It is hard to get excited because I'm waiting for the holiday weekend to be over for beta and progesterone testing. It was my first miscarriage, but my ob plans to monitor me a little more closely at first because of the miscarriage and autoimmune issues.

Last time I was so sick with hyperemesis that I was terrified the first scan would show that I had twins. Oh how things change.

[bcblondie]

My midwife was thinking twins with my last pregnancy. My fundus was measuring way ahead (aparently that's just where it sits) and we heard the heartbeat crazy early, which, sometimes 2 heartbeats can sound like one loud one.... So here i was thinking maybe 2 babies, and a few days later, I had none. :(

[Milk8shake]

Originally Posted by CassnBeth 

I was really pleased to see you and Milk8shake over here. I am a consummate lurker but I watched both of you on the infertility threads and I'm glad there are more panicky infertiles over here than just me.

I wish my ultrasound date was more like two weeks away; I will be six weeks and two days for mine and I think it may be a little too early. Have you had any betas drawn?

I think 6w2d is fine, if you are super sure about dates.  I've seen the HB that early previously.  And, yes, you are not a lone panicker.
 

Originally Posted by Kyamo 

Yeah, I don't have that belief either.  I've never had a miscarriage because I've never been pregnant before this, but I have double the risk for one due to my PCOS.  And it took a long time and a lot of clomid, letrozole, and 4 IUIs to get this pregnancy, so right now its still very hard for me to believe I might really get to bring home a baby in March.  I'll wait with you.  I don't have a US date yet, it'll be about 2 more weeks for me I think.  

I hope both of us (and Milk8shake) get take home babies.  

I'm so glad you're over here with me Kyamo.  Of course you are wayyyyyy nervous

FWIW, I think that if a heartbeat is a reassurance for you, then that's what you should go with.  It's different for everyone.  I think us panicky ones have to have something to cling to. 
 

[Ardent]

De-lurking.  Yes, after years of infertility (DS came only after 2 years, 3 IUIs, and IVF) it's hard for me to believe that we'll have a take-home baby out of this.  Although I've never had a loss, I think that infertility makes me very sensitive to the "wrong" side of statistics -- after all, I've already been there!  I think I need to get to the 12-week scan to really believe that this BFP is going to be a baby. 

[biffer]

Yeah, I'll be holding my breath for the next month since they don't even want to see me till 8w but I had a MC 13 months ago so I'm a bit nervous this time around especially with my near constant cramps and cervix staby feelings. 

[zubeldia]

biffer, I have had a lot of cramping but I also did with DS. AND I experienced that stabbing pain... I thought it was ending badly but it turned out to be fine... sending sticky vibes to us all.

[biffer]

Ok, just got off the phone with OB/GYN office and my appointment is on the 27th! OMG SO CLOSE! Now I just need to breath deeply and wait.

[CassnBeth]

Ardent -- I know exactly what you mean about "the wrong side" of statistics. I have a terrible time finding things like "only five percent!" comforting since I have been on that side of the numbers so very many times.

biffer -- I hate those symptoms that mimic something worse. If it makes you feel better, my wife had tons of cramps while pregnant with our daughter and never even a whiff of miscarriage.

Has anyone considered renting a doppler? Or done it previously? I don't love the expense but the ability to obsess at will is very tempting.