July 2011 Whatever Ladies Graduates - Page 3

[akind1]

I agree, a lot of the practices that doctors and some hospital based midwives have, have become so common place they seem normal and natural. Women are rarely informed that they really do have the right to refuse things.

I hate looking at statitstics, but wonder if whatever they are using for average gestation is only of singletons, or does it include multiples? there has been a rise in recent years of twin + gestations, which are going to adjust the average gestation lower, if included with the singleton numbers. I know friends that are RCS mamas and were upset that the doc's won't schedule a birth to occur prior to 39 weeks (which is a good thing!) - that 37 week mark I think is a disservice to most moms to be.

Carrie, I know how you feel! DS cooked an "extra" 2 weeks, so it was awful counting down the weeks, and then having still more time to go! I don't think I tried any home induction methods with him until around 39 weeks, and obviously none of them worked!

[jeninejessica]

So much to catch up on, but DH is waiting on me to go shopping, so here's a quick one... 

I think it's important not to get caught up in the distinction between "term" -- meaning as someone pointed out, that the baby is technically 'matured' enough to safely be delivered... and one's EDD, which is the average gestation that a baby should really be staying in for.  I think term is used, again, as someone said, more for cases where the baby needs to come out-- ie pre-e, as that safe cut-off where babies generally 'do not need assistance' after the birth. It doesn't mean that we should start counting 37 weeks as everyone's EDD, but that "typically" (from a medical perspective, which mw, you pointed out doesn't always account for long term), babies born at 37 weeks experience no significant issues at birth. 

Does that make sense? 

FWIW, I think 37 weeks has been standard for quite some time... but that doesn't mean that an average 40 week gestation is not correct either, kwim?

[MarineWife]

Oh, ok, Carrie. That still doesn't help me out, though, because I don't think lung maturity is the only criteria for baby being ready to be born. From a medical standpoint, I guess it gets rid of the most common issues that cause babies to end up in NICU but that's not the same. Yeah, I don't think I'd stay home before 37w.

Annie ~ Did your sister go into labor spontaneously?

[MovingMomma]

Here's a great article about the risks of births between 37-39 weeks.  I'm with you, MW, I won't stay home before 37, even though the MW says she'll attend HBs from 36.  

[AnnieA]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

Oh, ok, Carrie. That still doesn't help me out, though, because I don't think lung maturity is the only criteria for baby being ready to be born. From a medical standpoint, I guess it gets rid of the most common issues that cause babies to end up in NICU but that's not the same. Yeah, I don't think I'd stay home before 37w.

Annie ~ Did your sister go into labor spontaneously?

 Yes, her water broke so they didn't try to stop it. Her second baby stayed in a little longer but still only until 38w2d.
 

[jeninejessica]

Yeah, very true. There's so much more to consider than just basic lung maturity. Someone pointed out the point at which they will 'stop delaying labor', and I think that's moreso what it is "supposed" to be used for... just not necessarily what it is used for. 

I'm in the same boat though... I think 37 weeks is the earliest I'd stay home, though I'd prefer closer to 38. Even that seems to early for me, but that's probably skewed by the fact that most babies in my family come late, or at most, 2-3 days prior to the due date. My aunt had twins years and years back, and they even made it to 40 weeks and were both around 6lbs.  In my head I have this babe coming a few days post EDD, and that sounds perfect to me. I'm going to try really hard not to consider myself "overdue" until I hit 41weeks 3 days, which is what has stuck in my head as being "average first time mom" gestation. Though I do think they revised that to be 41/1 sometime in the past few years. 

Katrina-- I believe they do count that multiple births in the 'average'. I remember reading something about how that's one of the reasons that the average length (and birth weight in turn...) has gone down, is because of the increase in assisted pregnancy technology (ie IVF and whatnot) has increased the number of multiple births... which decreases the average gestation and birth weight. It's not accurate though, and that sucks! It gives people a false sense of security, and leads them into believing things like 35 week births are "not that uncommon" or dangerous for the baby. 

Case in point, I had a semi-fight with my SIL the other day about homebirth as I mentioned, and since we're forced to being in the hospital, I told her I wanted to go home ASAP after the birth, once I've had a chance to shower, have a nap, eat and rest for a few hours. She was appalled because "you never know what's going to happen, and not all emergencies happen at birth". Her example? The fact that her 35 week daughter had her lung collapsed in the NICU at 36 hours old (after having an NG tube in for those 36 hours, with intermittent suctioning). She flat out told me "it had nothing to do with her being a preemie". I was shocked. I mean I --know-- that things can happen after birth. But for her to honestly not think that her 35 week old daughters lung collapsing had nothing to do with either the hospital interventions or her being 35 weeks was just... mindblowing to me. Moms are led into a false sense of security by a simple lung maturity test, and then think that means the baby is all hunky dory otherwise. But 35 weeks is still not when babies are designed to come out (nor at 37 weeks, which is really what the point is.... but you catch my drift). 

It's a dangerous statistic to use, and yeah, it makes me sad to see people put so much weight on it. 

[akind1]

You know, with my first, I remember beginning pregnancy all anticipating a late baby  (since my mom went 3 weeks over with me, her first), but by the time I got to the "term" mark - 37/38 weeks, I was so not in that same place anymore. I was walking, and walking, DTD, etc  things to help bring labor on. it wasn't until I passed my EDD that I was able to find that zen again. I can't even begin to tell you what changed, or when, that made me think DS might have been ready to come earlier than his EDD.

Now with this baby, right now I am still fully anticipating that she's gonna cook longer than the 40 weeks, which is why I don't mind at all that the OB has her EDD one week beyond what I *know* it is. I just hope I am as zen about going past 40 weeks come September! (I just checked, I will be 37 weeks on September 7th!- but that is going by my O date, and not the early u/s date that the office is using).

JJ - of course her baby had lung issued due to prematurity; it is a whole cascade thing! I do advocate for leaving the hospital as early as you possibly can. I think, for a vaginal birth, at my hospital the minimum is 24 hours. Even with a c-section I left about 36 hours after the birth (but that was because I insisted!) He was born 11 pm Friday and I was discharged by noon on Sunday. You, and your DH, will rest much easier at home than you will in the hospital. far less interruptions. Some women do like to stay the full amount of time to take advantage of the extra help, LC on demand, etc. I can't really criticize them for that, it is just not a choice I'd make.(but we didn't have any issues with breastfeeding either).

[jeninejessica]

Yeah, depending on time of night, and how long my labor has gone on (ie how badly I need to sleep first) I'm hoping to be out of there... maybe 12 hours? I think things are a bit different in most parts of the states. I hear wonderful stories from people on here who have a massage every day postpartum, and have wonderful food options post birth, and it sounds like a bed and breakfast. Ours is pre-formed cafeteria type food, nothing fresh or remotely tasty, you pay extra for everything (a tv in the room, a private room, a phone in the room, etc) -- although I guess you guys are a bit more used to that... But overall, it just doesn't seem to be the same atmosphere. It definately still feels like you're camping out in a hospital. So DH and I are hoping to get there shortly before pushing, and leave AMA within about 12 hours as long as everything is going well. Because it's going to be a hospital birth, I am revising my "no visitors for days and days" and will probably allow/have my mother and/or MIL come by the next day for a bit, just to help me around the house-- but we'll see. With a homebirth I had planned to veto visitors for at least 72 hours or something like that-- but it's difference when you have a midwife checking in on you. 

I don't really have a feeling one way or the other on when this baby will come, other than a "hope" that it will be in December (so not even one day early, lol!)

[jeninejessica]

OOooh this is totally change of topic, but I wanted to share... I've been telling everyone since my positive test, that I was pretty sure I felt what side implantation was on, and I couldn't wait until the ultrasound to see if I was correct or not. Everyone and their dog rolled their eyes at me, and told me you couldn't tell, there was no way for you to feel that, but at my ultrasound on Monday, she pointed out the placenta, and sure enough... it's exactly where I said it was going to be. 

Take that medical science and your non-belief in my knowing my own body!

[akind1]

I thought we'd have tons of visitors, but everyone who wanted to visit was ill, and wisely stayed home! He was a November baby, and yours will be December (maybe) but still in major cold/flu/sick time of year.

Well, the TV and phone come with the room (though with cell phones, no one uses them anymore anyway). No massages here! The food was disgusting. after the first meal, I just had my mom or the ILs bring me something. Not that I had much appetite anyway. We did have someone come in and offer free movie rentals. DH was like, WTF? what movies? we want SLEEP!

[akind1]

LOL! I don't remember if I felt implantation with either. MW did and the US proved her right, if my memory serves.

[MarineWife]

That's cool, JJ. Yep, I thought I felt implantation on my right side and, sure enough, that's where baby has been hanging out pretty much the whole time.

Yeah, no massages or fancy food at any hospitals I've been in here. I have no idea if we pay extra for phone and TV.

Shannon and JJ ~ That's exactly what I was talking about. Considering babies full term at 37w is a medical distinction rather than a normal, natural event. The scary thing is that the trend in babies being born (or what I like to refer to as being taken since it's happening because of induction and c-section) early is mostly for non-medical reasons. These aren't babies that need to come out early because of disease. It's because doctors are telling women they are full term and safe to have their babies any time and then offering women inductions or c-sections as if it's perfectly safe and without risk.

I had my home visit today. I was told I'm good to stay home from now on. I'm 36w4d. I'm not concerned about it because I don't expect to go into labor in the next few days. I asked them about the 37w full term thing. The answer I got was that doctors started changing the rules to cover their butts from inducing or doing elective c-sections early and taking too many babies when they were too young. They both agreed that the average pg actually lasts 41+w rather than 40w. So, even a 40w edd is early. Maybe I should change my edb to August 6 since I want an August baby anyway.

I'm going to get the antibiotics for this sinus thing. I talked to my MWs about that and they agreed that if it's been over a week and I'm not better, I probably need them. Also, I think it's getting worse again because the pain is coming back.

[jeninejessica]

Is anyone else getting very delayed notification messages? It's driving me nuts because I go to the thread, read several posts, and then over the next hour get several notifications for things I've already read... 

[MarineWife]

That happens to me sometimes, JJ. Or I won't get notifications at all. Not right now, though.

[akind1]

I get that daily diary notice usually every day around 2 p.m. I am on here so frequently though, that usually I've read it all!

[Baby_Cakes]

Ha, I don't get notifications at all -- I just refresh my subscriptions if the little "see updated posts" bar pops up.  I have no life!!  Haha!!  I think i have everything set to daily digest but I never check anything like that, not in my email, nothing.

This is stupid and corny but another mom in my ddc is planning on naming her son Finley (with only 1 n) and it made me grumpy for awhile.  I'm over it now, but I think that's how I know this is really this LOs name.  I am SO POSSESSIVE of it!!  

DH and I went out for sushi last night with another couple, friends of ours.  It was really nice!  Felt good to have a Date Night out with grownups and not talk about kids or babies!!  We are hoping to go out at least once more to *our* sushi place (we met up at theirs) before baby comes.

Anyone else waking up with their hands asleep all the time?  What gives?  I sleep on my sides so it's not b/c I'm on my back or anything.  It's getting annoying!  That and the charlie horses when I stretch my legs in the morning SUCK!!

Ok, gonna grab some coffee.  Hopefully DD wakes up soon so we can get walking before it gets to be a million and one degrees outside!

[AnnieA]

Baby_Cakes, my hands have started falling asleep at night too. It's really annoying. Sometimes my fingers are actually sore in the morning when I wake up and try to clinch my fists because of the lack of circulation.

I woke up at 5 AM thirsty so I drank some OJ and it gave Ava hiccups! She had them for like 30 mins, poor baby! Had some pretty strong contractions yesterday evening while I was trying to make dinner but once I laid down for a bit, they went away.

[MarineWife]

I get instant individual email notifications and sometimes they are delayed.

Carrie ~ I had that problem with my right hand when I was pg with ds2. It was carpel tunnel syndrome. I wore a wrist brace and it helped. With this pg, I wake up with very swollen, sore hands but they aren't asleep. During the day the swelling in my hands go down but my feet blow up. My blood pressure is excellent, 116/60 according to my MW yesterday and 106/58 when I checked it myself 2 days ago, and there's no protein in my urine so it's not a big deal. Just uncomfortable. I've been trying to drink more water but I still don't drink enough because I hate having to go to the bathroom all the time.

OMG! I am never going to take my kids anywhere again! DS2 wanted to find out about music lessons so I took them to a music store. Then I had to drop off a prescription, go to the post office and to the mall to check out lessons at the music store there. While there I decided to see if Sears had the vacuum I wanted. Except for the first stop at the first music store, my kids were miserable. Well, even at the first music store ds3 was difficult. He refused to get out of the car because his flip flops had sand on them. They ran circles around the PO while I was trying to box things up and get them addressed. At the mall all they did was the gimmie, gimmies and then whine and cry when I said I couldn't buy them an XBox right then. Um, $400, guys! And we already have a PS3 and a Wii. DS3 again refused to hold my hand in the parking lot and then refused to get in the car because I grabbed his hand and wouldn't let go until we got to the car. I used to let ds2 walk next to me without holding my hand at 4 but he always walked calmly right next to me. DS3 wants to take off running and doesn't understand that people can't see him over the hoods of their cars. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! Then we get home and they are screaming at each other because they can't agree on which movie to watch.

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

I get instant individual email notifications and sometimes they are delayed.

Carrie ~ I had that problem with my right hand when I was pg with ds2. It was carpel tunnel syndrome. I wore a wrist brace and it helped. With this pg, I wake up with very swollen, sore hands but they aren't asleep. During the day the swelling in my hands go down but my feet blow up. My blood pressure is excellent, 116/60 according to my MW yesterday and 106/58 when I checked it myself 2 days ago, and there's no protein in my urine so it's not a big deal. Just uncomfortable. I've been trying to drink more water but I still don't drink enough because I hate having to go to the bathroom all the time.

OMG! I am never going to take my kids anywhere again! DS2 wanted to find out about music lessons so I took them to a music store. Then I had to drop off a prescription, go to the post office and to the mall to check out lessons at the music store there. While there I decided to see if Sears had the vacuum I wanted. Except for the first stop at the first music store, my kids were miserable. Well, even at the first music store ds3 was difficult. He refused to get out of the car because his flip flops had sand on them. They ran circles around the PO while I was trying to box things up and get them addressed. At the mall all they did was the gimmie, gimmies and then whine and cry when I said I couldn't buy them an XBox right then. Um, $400, guys! And we already have a PS3 and a Wii. DS3 again refused to hold my hand in the parking lot and then refused to get in the car because I grabbed his hand and wouldn't let go until we got to the car. I used to let ds2 walk next to me without holding my hand at 4 but he always walked calmly right next to me. DS3 wants to take off running and doesn't understand that people can't see him over the hoods of their cars. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! Then we get home and they are screaming at each other because they can't agree on which movie to watch.

I had painful carpal tunnel last time! Ouch, and I have a brace, too.  Hmm, I wonder if I should try it.  Can't hurt.  My hands are rarely if ever swollen -- so who knows what it is.

And srsly, OMG on your day!  I would be pulling my hair out or locked in my bathroom crying!!  You poor thing!  I ran to three places today with ONE child and thought I was going to go insane, I can't imagine trying to hit that many places at this point in pregnancy.  And you're ahead of me!!  You are a brave, brave woman!!

Like I said, we hit 3 places - Taco Bell (for a taco for Nora), Red Robin (for a burger for me), and the food store for some stuff to grill for dinner.  Only, I just realized I forgot to get a half gallon of soymilk and we're completely out!  I'm so angry at myself!!  Grr.  I hate when we have no milk in the house!  No cereal, no protein shakes, and no Oreos and milk!!  

I was craving that Red Robin burger so bad.  I had to have it.  I haven't had a decent craving in months -- I thought that was mostly 2nd trimester stuff!  Well, it was something, alright.  I ate the whole damn burger in one sitting!  I've NEVER finished a burger in one sitting!  AND the fries!  

[jeninejessica]

I woke up several times very early on with my whole shoulder and arm numb, but not recently at all. 

Have a huge coffee craving now... blegh. Even though I want it all the time, the caffeine makes me sick, and I don't want to drive 15 minutes to sbux to get a decent decaf latte.