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July Dating Thread - Independence Days! We're not giving our sweet freedom up lightly....! - Page 2

Poll Results: Are you ready, right now, to meet a candidate for a lifetime commitment?

Poll expired: Aug 3, 2011  
  • 12% (4)
    Yes! I hope the guy in my life right now would get down on 1 knee!
  • 16% (5)
    Yes, if the right guy makes himself known in an unmistakable way & sweeps me off my feet.
  • 12% (4)
    Maybe, I'd have to see how it felt if I met a promising candidate.
  • 12% (4)
    Maybe, but I have a feeling my list of requirements will be a tough bill to fill so I'm not holding my breath.
  • 22% (7)
    Nah, not this minute. Having too much fun or need more healing/growing time.
  • 16% (5)
    Nope! Last thing I want at this point in my life. Ask me in a couple years!
  • 6% (2)
    I will never marry again.
31 Total Votes  
post #21 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflymom View Post

Cucumber said he loves me!!!


Yay Butterfly! So happy for you :) :) :)

 

I'm all glowing and loved up, Carpenter came down for the afternoon and night (he's still here till tomorrow morning) and wow, wow, wow. We are just so synced with each other in so many ways. And we sealed the deal too and it was lovely :) Tonight will be interesting - my son coming back from his dad's and dealing with that whole situation. I've chatted to DS about Carpenter being here (he met him at our holiday) and we negotiated a sleeping arrangement that DS is comfortable with, but you never know until the actual situation happens how he's going to react. He's just realised recently that his dad and I not living in the same house is an unusual situation and has been asking a lot about it, so in a way the timing is a bit poor. 

post #22 of 50
Thread Starter 
He asked me if I want to have a baby and has basically just wiped out the last months of doubt and angst in a few days.
We are serious and will be planning a future in less & less vague terms from now on, I'm certain.
post #23 of 50

Woo for butterfly! love.gif I'm so thrilled for you, sweetie!

post #24 of 50

Butterlymom - I'm so happy to hear that! I remember how uncertain you've been with Cucumber.

 

 

 

Thank you to those who commented about my situation. I do believe that funny guy was minimizing it and I'm not quite sure what to think about it. I would write him off as selfish but he totally isn't and does so much to make life easier for me and my family. Everything is about me; not him which is such a positive difference in comparison to many others I'm known. This is our only sore spot.

post #25 of 50

you deserve better, zz.

post #26 of 50

That's awesome, butterfly!

post #27 of 50

So happy for you Butterfly!

 

Met Cookie Guy for coffee yesterday and we talked for 3 hours!  We've been texting ever since. Going out again tomorrow night! Excited to talk to him some more. Tons of activity on the dating sites all of a sudden. I've been talking to another new guy and got an email from one today who looks really interesting. I can't keep up with all this.  Think I need to block my profile until I sort these guys out! lol

 

Bad boy and I have been having a lot of fun lately. We've talked very honestly about past relationships and what we are both looking for in future relationships. He actually said that he appreciated my honesty from the start- that I told him I was just looking for fun with him and nothing more. And he has said that he wants only the same from me. But I'm starting to not believe it.  

post #28 of 50
A question: What do you do when someone who you've just started seeing has a birthday approaching? I really like him so far, but we are definitely still at the stage where it's very unclear what will develop between us. If it was my birthday, I'd prefer to just have him say, "Hey, happy birthday. How's your day going?" or whatever, but I'm wondering if it would be better to get him a little gift.
post #29 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by mimim View Post

A question: What do you do when someone who you've just started seeing has a birthday approaching? I really like him so far, but we are definitely still at the stage where it's very unclear what will develop between us. If it was my birthday, I'd prefer to just have him say, "Hey, happy birthday. How's your day going?" or whatever, but I'm wondering if it would be better to get him a little gift.


 

What about a tiny gift? Something like, I dunno, a fancy chocolate bar or a mixed CD that you made? A lighthearted card? You could offer to buy him a move ticket or a cocktail out somewhere? I think it's nice to acknowledge birthdays but at the very start of a relationship you definitely want to keep it chill. I kind of wrestled with that a little bit with the Incredibly Nice Guy. We had only been dating around two and a half months when Christmas rolled around. We both finally admitted to each other that we wanted to get the other a little gift but we didn't know what was appropriate, so we made a pact to get each other an inexpensive book.

post #30 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by mimim View Post

A question: What do you do when someone who you've just started seeing has a birthday approaching? I really like him so far, but we are definitely still at the stage where it's very unclear what will develop between us. If it was my birthday, I'd prefer to just have him say, "Hey, happy birthday. How's your day going?" or whatever, but I'm wondering if it would be better to get him a little gift.


I like the buy him a drink idea, I'd probably go with that one or just say happy birthday to him.

 

My dating scene is still all talk and no meeting! aaarrgghh I need to find a babysitter! Next week I have to send my kids to my parents b/c they're daycare is taking a week off so hopefully I will get to meet some of these guys I have been chatting with then. I have moved on to texting with one guy but he lives the farthest away and I'm not sure how much we really have in common :/ we'll see though maybe he is the best match!

 

post #31 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by mimim View Post

A question: What do you do when someone who you've just started seeing has a birthday approaching? I really like him so far, but we are definitely still at the stage where it's very unclear what will develop between us. If it was my birthday, I'd prefer to just have him say, "Hey, happy birthday. How's your day going?" or whatever, but I'm wondering if it would be better to get him a little gift.


I like the buy him a drink idea, I'd probably go with that one or just say happy birthday to him.

 

My dating scene is still all talk and no meeting! aaarrgghh I need to find a babysitter! Next week I have to send my kids to my parents b/c they're daycare is taking a week off so hopefully I will get to meet some of these guys I have been chatting with then. I have moved on to texting with one guy but he lives the farthest away and I'm not sure how much we really have in common :/ we'll see though maybe he is the best match!

 

post #32 of 50

Mimim, i got together with LCG 2 weeks before christmas and we spent most of christmas together but not the family dinner bit. In the end I asked him if he wanted to get presents for each other and we agreed to leave it - though in the end he got me some lovely chocolates. It can be awkward but I don't think it does any harm to raise the subject. 

 

Me and Carpenter are doing beautifully, I can hardly believe my luck and am seriously pinching myself every day. Words can't really describe... 

post #33 of 50

Mimim - I went through this too. I just bought a small gift or card to acknowledge it. If you haven't been dating long you don't need anything big. I always look to something thoughtful. Is there something he likes to do, eat or drink?

post #34 of 50
I've decided to officially only say happy birthday, but to bring him a nice bottle of wine and some really great cheese (which he loves) when we get together this weekend. I don't much like obligatory gift giving, for holidays etc, but I like random "I was thinking about you and thought you'd like this" instances. Plus, my birthday is in 6 weeks and I would rather he not get anything for me.

Also, I really like him, but our schedules are ridiculously incompatible. We are only able to see each other with any regularity because I am on summer break from teaching and I stay up late and have some free time during weekdays. Once school starts, I can't see how we'd be able to get together more than once a month-ish, so I anticipate things fizzling out in the fall. greensad.gif
post #35 of 50

I just read this blog entry about how to know if a guy cares about you, and I thought it was very relevant to our recent conversations (though I'm thrilled that Butterfly is no longer asking this question about her Cucumber thumb.gif )

 

http://howtogetamannow.com/so-does-he-care-about-me-7-real-good-ways-to-finally-figure-out-if-he-even-cares-about-you/

 

This guy actually has some pretty good info about dating and men in general, and his online video dating quiz is cool, though it gets a little over the top with the advertising.

post #36 of 50

 

 


Edited by Martha27 - 7/25/11 at 3:35pm
post #37 of 50

Well surprise surprise, despite the sweet message apologizing for his absence, the old Flame never called back. Went and hooked up again last week, with a guy I know from around the neighborhood. We had been together one night in the past, and I remember he called the next day to say hi and we kind of saw each other around a lot but at that time I had a few different things going on and we both work a lot, you know same old story. Fuck. So yea he hasn't called either and ...clearly ...I don't even want to draw any conclusions but the pattern disgusts me. What, really, what the hell. Then my other kid-free night I had a great convo with a guy (same venue- neighborhood barfly type, fabulous right) and I'm not attracted to him but we work in the same industry and we were just having a great conversation about that, and about life. I'm afraid it looked wrong/ people I know probably noticed that I left with him, ugh, but nothing happened. Certain people praise me for handling all the responsibilities of being a single mom, but I'm not comfortable accepting it. Well clearly I have issues I should resolve before dating, but in the meantime I have the desire to lose myself in conversation, relation, and touch. It's always either too tenuous or too intense. Or heck, both.

post #38 of 50
Thread Starter 

.


Edited by JohnnysGirl - 7/29/12 at 12:15pm
post #39 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by rubelin View Post

I just read this blog entry about how to know if a guy cares about you, and I thought it was very relevant to our recent conversations (though I'm thrilled that Butterfly is no longer asking this question about her Cucumber thumb.gif )

 

http://howtogetamannow.com/so-does-he-care-about-me-7-real-good-ways-to-finally-figure-out-if-he-even-cares-about-you/

 

This guy actually has some pretty good info about dating and men in general, and his online video dating quiz is cool, though it gets a little over the top with the advertising.



My stbx only met one thing on this list - getting jealous - and it did not even have to be with a guy.

The one I hope to spend the rest of my life with does all of them.  But man is it complicated, LOL.

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by lucifugous View Post

Well surprise surprise, despite the sweet message apologizing for his absence, the old Flame never called back. Went and hooked up again last week, with a guy I know from around the neighborhood. We had been together one night in the past, and I remember he called the next day to say hi and we kind of saw each other around a lot but at that time I had a few different things going on and we both work a lot, you know same old story. Fuck. So yea he hasn't called either and ...clearly ...I don't even want to draw any conclusions but the pattern disgusts me. What, really, what the hell. Then my other kid-free night I had a great convo with a guy (same venue- neighborhood barfly type, fabulous right) and I'm not attracted to him but we work in the same industry and we were just having a great conversation about that, and about life. I'm afraid it looked wrong/ people I know probably noticed that I left with him, ugh, but nothing happened. Certain people praise me for handling all the responsibilities of being a single mom, but I'm not comfortable accepting it. Well clearly I have issues I should resolve before dating, but in the meantime I have the desire to lose myself in conversation, relation, and touch. It's always either too tenuous or too intense. Or heck, both.



Oh hun, I am so sorry. 

 

Butterflymom - AWESOME!!!  I hope that all of us who are looking find that.

 

post #40 of 50
Thread Starter 

Yes, awesomeland here.  :D

 

Guys who are not on the private, secret, non-MDC gossip forum..... please PM me if you want info on how to join!  We are ready for all you guys to jump over there in case there might be some things you'd rather post as a whisper for just our little gang to hear, not out here in public where anyone on the internet can pull up this thread and read along.

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