Challenges in making breastfeeding normal in our society?

[BreastsTheMovie]

I would like to hear your thoughts on what the biggest challenges are in making breastfeeding normal and accepted by most in our society?

 

FYI: I'm a male filmmaker.  This project is my "baby," though my wife helps me with it too. Changing my attitudes about women transformed my and my family's life so I decided to make a film about how breasts are something other than sex objects.

[Chrysta]

I wish it was covered in sex ed at schools.

[Kerynna]

I think it IS considered normal and accepted by most in our society.  I've breastfed 3 children, in public, in a wrap while out walking at an outdoor festival, etc. and I've never had an adverse reaction from anyone. 

[BreastsTheMovie]

Covering it in sex ed is a great idea.

As to already being normal and accepted, it's great to hear of your experience in not having adverse reactions!  If everyone felt that way I wouldn't be making this film.

However,  the general opinion I've seen with many people I've talked to and  in what many in the media are portraying is it's not accepted and by many thought to be anything but normal.  As I'm researching I'm seeing things like a recent story of an attempt to force a woman off a bus for discreetly breastfeeding or of women feeling uncomfortable feeding a baby past 4-6 months for fear of what others may think despite recommendations from the WHO advising two years.  Comments like use a bottle or isn't that what formula is for frequently arise.  Also, the objectification of women's bodies and rejection of breastfeeding by the general public are very much intertwined.

[Kerynna]

I have no doubt that negative reactions as you describe *do* occur.  However, my perception is that those type of reactions are the exceptions, not the norm.  And, of course, it very likely differs depending on what community or region of the country - attitudes toward breastfeeding, like other cultural values, are exhibited differently depending on the regional culture and norms.  I live in southwest Virginia, which is a pretty conservative, old-South style culture, yet breastfeeding in public seems to be pretty accepted here - which exceptions at times, of course.

I would also suggest that perhaps you have a bias toward breastfeeding being controversial, because, as you say, that is why you are making the movie.  A movie about breastfeeding won't get very much attention if breastfeeding is an accepted and normal practice.

[BreastsTheMovie]

That is awesome to hear about how virginians accept breastfeeding!  I look forward to maybe visiting there and meeting people.

Let me also clarify that when I said general opinion, I wasn't referring to the opinions of nursing moms.  You moms already know better.  I was talking of our general society.

Maybe I do have a bias but my personal opinion is breastfeeding shouldn't be controversial at all and it's refreshing, even encouraging to hear of your experiences. Don't get me wrong, my wife has had a lot of positive experiences too, though when we are in bigger cities, that's when we begin to see more problems. All I can say is searching the net about various related topics, listening to the media circus surrounding the bus incident and meeting and talking to people all over the place is what has shaped what I was relating.  And the sad thing is it's not just men but many women too.  A lady who happens to be a doula messaged me on facebook last night pretty much insisting breasts are for pleasure.

Ultimately yes I do want attention for this film  because the subjects concerning how important breastfeeding is and how we need to stop objectifying women are very dear to my heart but I'd rather have grown up in a society where this film wasn't needed and then I'd be off making a comedy or something instead.

Anyway, enough said about me for now.

[akind1]

I live in SC and honestly while you do see an occasional woman NIP, it is almost always with a cover (only in some of the crunchier parts of town do you see anyone nursing without one). I don't think I have ever seen a woman NIP with a babe anywhere close to a year old (besides myself; I nursed DS until he was 15 months, and would have longer if my milk hadn't dried up with pregnancy).

The general attitude seems to be that breastfeeding is great if you can do it, but if you do it in public, please cover up. I have no issues with women who really want to cover up, or whose babes nurse better with a cover on - less distractions - but I don't think anyone should be made  to. After DS and I got the hang of nursing in general, and NIP in particular, I just learned how to dress for discreet public nursing.

I haven't been to a breastfeeding class, but they are offered quite often and at lots of venues here, but I do wonder if anyone at the classes goes into detail about NIP and how to do so discreetly, with or without a cover. Not there is anything wrong with just popping a boob out if needed, but I know in our area, discretion would help. I have a feeling most women are just told to cover up and shown a hooter hider.

I think the key to making breastfeeding normal is more NIP, and more TV shows and books (especially children's books) that portray breastfeeding mothers. Exposure!

[Caitlin0919]

I agree with akind1 about NIP. Women shouldn't feel like they have to be covered in order to do it. My DD hated being covered up, even at 3 months old, so I couldn't really use a cover if I was going to NIP. And I think more women would nurse longer if they knew other women were doing it too. I listened to a radio show about extended breastfeeding and the women on it said that they had never seen a woman breastfeeding a toddler, so they kept it kind of hush-hush when they nursed theirs. I think if women felt that it was more accepted and didn't have to worry about being stared at or lectured, more of them would not only NIP but would also nurse their toddlers in public. I myself wouldn't care if someone stared or made a rude comment, but I know that it would bother a lot of other women and make them feel uncomfortable about NIP. I've never had a rude comment made to my face while I was nursing, but I have had a few people stare at me and give me disapproving looks. Most of the comments I've heard are from friends during discussions. A lot of them don't have children so they really don't know why nursing is such a big deal and why any woman would even want to do it as long as I have(2.5 years and no plans on stopping). Most of them make comments comparing it to using the bathroom or that they think nursing is fine, they just don't want to see it and there are plenty of places now that have special rooms for nursing moms so why don't we all just use those. I've changed a lot of minds by simply giving them a real-life scenario: Let's say a nursing mother is having lunch with a friend somewhere and her baby starts getting fussy and needs to nurse. Is the mother supposed to excuse herself from lunch to go find a special area to nurse in? It wasn't uncommon for my daughter to nurse for 45 minutes on one breast before finally switching to the other side. The only other option I would have would be to never go out in public while I still have a nursing infant which most people will agree is a ridiculous idea. I think most people's ideas about nursing come from the fact that they simply haven't been exposed to it and they just don't see why using formula or a bottle instead of breastfeeding can be such bad things. Bottom line: The main problem is education and awareness. If breastfeeding were seen as a normal part of life, people wouldn't get so jumpy about it. I think it's great that you're making a film trying to educate the public and make breastfeeding more a mainstream idea.

[Emmeline II]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kerynna 

I have no doubt that negative reactions as you describe *do* occur.  However, my perception is that those type of reactions are the exceptions, not the norm.  And, of course, it very likely differs depending on what community or region of the country - attitudes toward breastfeeding, like other cultural values, are exhibited differently depending on the regional culture and norms.  I live in southwest Virginia, which is a pretty conservative, old-South style culture, yet breastfeeding in public seems to be pretty accepted here - which exceptions at times, of course.

I would also suggest that perhaps you have a bias toward breastfeeding being controversial, because, as you say, that is why you are making the movie.  A movie about breastfeeding won't get very much attention if breastfeeding is an accepted and normal practice.

I might concede that it is generally culturally accepted (in the US) that women do breastfeed at all (i.e. it's not abuse); that acceptance is limited to infants 6 months and younger, and if the mother is at home (secluded from other family members), or in a public designated nursing area. If a woman exceeds those parameters it is MUCH more common for there to be "controversy", even within one's own family.

[kungfufugirl]

equally as challenging as making formula-feeding abnormal.

[sosurreal09]

I have had a lot of people (relatives and strangers) say horrible things to me about NIP and nursing pat 6 m/o.

I have never used a cover and I always got glared at but w/e. I have actually had one woman walk by me nursing my 5m/o and say "that's disgusting!" (this was a 30ish woman in a business suite!)

I have had countless teens say rude things passing by...

I had a nursing student cuss at me for NIP with "OH MY EFIN GOD is she BFing right here?!?!?" (on a bench by myself, excluded from the main room at a convention center..)

I had my grandmother tell me to "go live in a 3rd world country if you want to do THAT"

Even the people who support nursing and extended BFing have said things to me about "being more modest" or "hiding the fact I am BFing" or "using a cover" etc etc. I can't possibly not have shame for nursing a baby with hardly any flesh showing and using my breasts what they were made for right?

IDK consider yourselves lucky if you don't have to deal with this. It's getting worse as DD is 21 m/o now and people are getting nastier....IDK if people dare to criticize me b/c I am a young mom or what but you would think people would be more encouraging!