Oh, I totally know it's a long time. It's a long time for me too! I write to her every day -- I send a letter in the snail mail but I also email her (they print them out each day and give them to the girls).
A care package is a great idea. They don't let you bring in food so I have to think what she'd like...
Lease is going back to owners for approval...please send us good vibes and prayers. I feel like it's like labor.
Thank you, everyone. I just got back.. I'm sort of feeling good about things though, you know, also not! 
They did do a vaginal ultrasound (and it always makes me laugh when they ask if you have used a tampon before and then they hand you a massive great big 'wand'!) Anyway, I am not quite as far along as I thought - just a few days - but closer to 5 and a half weeks. Everything looked and they did see a heartbeat. Here is where I feel less confident... it was beating at 87bpm. The sonographer didn't seem concerned and said that the heart had probably only just started to beat and that it would speed up. Does this seem reasonable?
My own Dr. is away until August so I can't bug her for reassurance...!
Thanks, women.
A care package is a great idea. They don't let you bring in food so I have to think what she'd like...
New, fun socks. Hair bands/bandanas. Joke book. Mad libs. Soap. A replacement swim suit (if they're going swimming every day, hers is probably getting worn out, or she's sick of it, or both.) New flip flops.
Small journal or something similar to collect names and addresses of new friends.
Great news, Zub. I think the heartbeat starts off kinda slow. Hopefully DrJen or memiles will check in asap.
Geo - I'm taking notes about care packages because my older two are already starting to bug me about sleep away camp (YIKES! They can't be getting that old, can they?!)
Nic - Like Geo, I would probably encourage her to stay (gently). The care package sounds like an awesome idea.
Zub - It sounds like a great visit!!! I think the heartbeat starting slow and speeding up is a very plausible idea. I know your doctor is not in, but is there a backup doc you could talk to just to get some reassurance?
RR: I bike 20 miles on my road bike. Have I mentioned that I love this bike? My butt is getting tougher too! I didn't start getting uncomfortable until around 17 miles in this time.
Give yourself a break. You will do better than that! 
zubeldia - I usually see the heartbeat around 100-110 on those early scans and consider 100 the low range of normal. I'm not sure how predictive a lower number is. A. The tech may have caught a slower section, or even not quite caught the fetal rate - that early you sometimes accidently pick up the maternal heart rate on the scanner if the fetal pole is close to a maternal vessel. B. Even if it was truly that slow, it may not mean anything. I'd like to say it's definitely normal, but I have seen a few early miscarriages after a scan with a low rate in the early days. I have also seen a few pregnancies go on to term with a low rate like that. So, all that to say: I don't know. The fact that they said 5 1/2 weeks could be a good thing - the heart starts beating about 21 days after conception, so that would be really only a couple days ago. On the down side, though, it could be that the little bean is not growing appropriately and you really are 6+ weeks. But again, the margin of error is pretty high that early in measuring accurately - when you are measuring in tenths of millimeters being just a little bit off makes a big difference in what gestation they estimate you at.
Bottom line: it's reassuring that there is a little bean in there with a heartbeat, even if it's not a sure thing, and there is nothing you can really do to affect the outcome except try to hang in there!
Thanks, everyone, and thanks, DrJen, for taking the time to offer your thoughts. I honestly don't know what to think. it is very plausible that I am a couple of days off with my dates ( thought I was 6 weeks exactly or at the latest 6 weeks and 1 day). I was using OPKs but didn't seem to ever really get a super dark (positive) line and then stopped using them after we'd 'crossed-trained', so it could be the case that I ovulated on the 17th, which would put me at 5weeks 4 or 5 days (which is what they dated me as). The CRL was only 1.7mm, though, and my biggest fear is that the little bean just isn't growing as it should. I read that the heart rate starts at around 80 at 5 weeks and then rises 3.3 beats a day... I don't know how credible that it is, mind you.
I am very scared. I called my Dr's office and spoke with a nurse and she is going to talk to whomever is covering for my Dr.
Oh, Zub, I'm so sorry that the scan wasn't a definitive hooray moment. I hope that in the next few days you'll get some positive answers, and I hope it is just a case of your dates being a bit off of what you thought they were.
Sparkle--It's funny the perceptions of kids, isn't it? I'm sorry your mom was unavailable for your birthday party, but glad all of the kids thought it was the coolest ever. I'm sure it will be fine. I overthink things. This is why I hate throwing parties in the first place. And I know it's a very silly thing for me to be stressed about. I'm trying very hard to get over it.
Nic--I hope your DD is able to stick it out for the end of camp. I think she would regret coming home early, but I guess in that moment it would be up to her to make that decision.
Today we bought a bunch of party junk--salt and chalk to make the colored salt for our sand art project, little sand art bottles, fabric paint, real paint, cornstarch. Then in the afternoon I ran a sand art sweatshop on our porch, where the kids and I turned six canisters of salt into bright and beautiful colors.
I managed to get out for a run, 3.25 miles after dinner, which is not my very favorite time to run, but it felt good to get it done. I'm hoping to wake up early tomorrow and go again, since I'm working tomorrow night. Then I need to squeeze in the time to buy DD's birthday gifts, since her actual birthday is on Tuesday and we're spending the weekend with my parents. Eek! Birthdays always just creep up on me. The end of the month is DH's birthday, too, and I haven't bought a thing yet. I'll be happy when August is over and we can spend NO MONEY for two months or so.
Just wanted to post and send good sticky vibes to Zub... thinking of you, mama!
tjsmama, I shouldn't be giggling at the weather for your run, but I am just a little bit. From blazing hot to hail and thunderstorm? Horrific!!
Nic, no advice to add about camp, but I hope you have a terrific visit with your daughter. Sending lease prayers your way.
Zub, thinking of you and wishing you the best.
sparkle, big hugs. Is it cruel to wish AF on you so that you can get a break from the hormones and feel better? Or an amazing offer of an acting job (that pays millions) . I also feel like I was at your childhood birthday party, except the one that I went to didn't have any boys sleeping over. The parents did have an evening upstairs that involved a lot of beer while an older cousin supervised a group of grade two girls watching Dirty Dancing, and explained abortion to all of us. I think I only remember it because I went home and asked my mum questions about abortion and her reaction to the issue was not good...
RR- My MIL is going to take the kids to the dentist tomorrow morning so DH and I have an exercise date. He's going to run and I'm going to bike and be in charge of mapping and figuring out pace stuff for him on a trail he's been training on. Mostly he needs to run, I can't keep up with pace or distance with my hip, but a slow bike ride and hangout should be fun. I'm going to see if I can fit on his mountain bike, since I haven't replaced mine that was stolen five years ago. He's 10 inches taller than me, though, so it might be ridiculous. I'm sure my hybrid can handle the trail, but the mountain bike would be smoother.
NRR- We're having dinner tommorow at a former student of DH's and his family who own a farm and 400 hectare woodlot. I've been interested in woodlot logging and forest management since I was in high school, and finally get to see the inner workings. And to hang out with a really interesting militant socialist Mennonite environmentalist logger :)
And to hang out with a really interesting militant socialist Mennonite environmentalist logger :)
Now those are words I never quite imagined seeing together! Have a great evening!
Gaye ~ yikes! Running in thunderstorms is scary. I hope you can get your 12 miler in, but even if you don't it's not the end of the world.
Nic ~ I agree that your DD should stay for the final week at camp. Everyone has given some really good ideas too. The care packages should help a lot. When I was 14, my parents sent me to live with some family friends in Zurich, Switzerland for a month and I was dreadfully homesick during the middle portion of it. In retrospect though, it was an amazing experience and I'm glad I didn't go home early.
zub ~ thinking of you and your pregnancy 
sparkle ~ I hope AF comes soon. Your hormonal hell seems just unbearable at times 
. And I so have been there, crying on the treadmill, mourning the days when I ran hard and loved every sweaty, endorphin soaked minute. Sigh...
RR: walked 3 miles on the track at the Y last night
NRR: went to my family practitioner yesterday to discuss yet again my leg issues. I'm getting an MRI of my back as soon as my insurance approves it and it can be scheduled. In the meantime, she suggested I take Cymbalta which has been found to decrease the perception of peripheral nerve pain (and I'm sure the anti-depressant and anti-anxiety properties aren't bad either). I'm giving it a shot, although I hate to take drugs of any kind. Good news is that she found no evidence of permenant nerve damage, so that's good.
Today, I'm taking my three to the zoo. They are already bored being at home after vacation.
I will admit that I have not read the whole thread. Am on dh's aircard and need to limit data use. Still no internet, which is a whole other story. BUT zub, hugs and squeezes and hoping all just continues to improve, most of all your fear and apprehension. Echoing drjen's wise "hang in there." Love to you, Mama.
And sparkle, maybe we are sharing a wave again. I am in what is possibly the "negotiation" stage of culture shock (which I will argue is not culture shock so much as disconnect shock). I can also go at any time, and often do. Today, lost it (as always) at prayers, and I'm not sure but I think my crying made the woman next to me in the line bust into bawling too. Not even kidding. Sorry, lady. Welcome to my basket-case life.
Anyway, some of you might know via FB that I have been offered a freelance job as a magazine columnist (another very out of left field story), and I decided to go for it, as much for the identity and potential to meet others as any other reason. I am not running. Swim now and again, walk some, yoga some, stretch some, no running, and feeling pretty shlubby. But it is 100-115 F and the humidity gets as high as 80 percent, and it just feels impossible to do much of anything. And I am not a mall fan, dislike crowds, etc. No alt childcare, no gym (omg expensive; not going to happen).
So. In my para-depressive (i.e. culture shocked) state, I have trouble waking early to do the walking I used to do. I have made one friend, and she leaves permanently next week. It will take time to filter through the rest. This place has a thick layer of fake over the top, and will take some time to drill through. We leave for Morocco Tuesday, return a few days into Ramadan. After that, it will be school time and my sister is coming for a visit. Then, I think life will start to roll--school stuff, columns and book clubs and writer meetups.
Anyway, looking forward to temps in the 90s and 70s at night. Not so much the lack of plumbing, hygiene, food safety issues. Sigh. The things we do for love, right?
You Dingoes have got me through a lot here, I want you to know. Several times when faced with a decision, I have summoned the energy and strength of you as individuals and as a group and throught, if not "what would DingoX do?" then "What would a Dingo do?" Such as, can't run, I'll walk. Can't walk, I'll swim. Can't swim, roll out the mat...Yes, I will introduce myself to that woman at the pool (a good decision every time)...Yes, I will meet this magazine editor...etc. I miss being among you SO MUCH. Can hardly stand it.
Everyone says it is absolutely phenomenal here from around October through April and into May. Weather you can count on, great things to do and see, scenery, beaches, tracks, even the mountains of Oman are not far away. So I am psyching myself up for what comes once the kids are in school and I have hours to myself every day, and the outdoor cafe seating is open and lovely, and there are streets to wander and characters to discover, and weekends to take off and just see what's there.
I have also subscribed to a few meetup groups, hope to get into book clubs and writing exchanges. What a different life.
I think I may already have a next destination in mind...I mean for after this country. I'm liking the sound of Spain.
Jo,
I can totally identify with your feeling of displacement, culture shock, drilling through the layer of 'fake', feeling out of place and out of tune, etc. All I can say is, one step at a time, one breath at a time, one day at a time...pray, meditate, lean on us. It helps.
Ladies, I think I can safely announce the birth of .... a lease. 
At the last second the landlord tacked a mandatory alarm-company-subscription on there (that they already have and want us to maintain) but I figure, hey, an alarm is good. It's not worth fighting over at this point.
So we have a destination. Now comes the moving part... at least the kids are signed up for school also. My stomach is in knots but it's all good.
I need to find a job. I know dh said I could stay home and work on my project with my co-writer, and I intend to, but I feel I will really need to find *something* part time that pays me and I can go out and do regularly. Even if not every day, all day (which I don't want).
I should have run this morning, the weather's gorgeous...maybe later. I have a 6 mile trail run on the docket for tomorrow and then visiting day on Sunday. Stomach is also in knots over that...
I need a lot of dingo strength now, so thanks for sending me so much. I just got a call back from my Dr's office. They called the maternal/fetal place and they were quite reassuring, it seemed. They said that all the pictures looked good, that it looked like I really am 5 weeks 4/5 days from all the features they assessed, and that while they would like to see the HR a little higher - for such a young embryo it is not a big concern. I have another scan in a week. I'm just going to try and keep some perspective. But any spare healthy vibes, love, and strength you might have please send them my way.
Thinking of you Zub! Grow, little bean!
Jo - I've missed having you around. It is so good to hear from you. It is something that would totally happen to me to make a friend only for them to move away (it's happened several times to me already)! Hang in there. It sounds like if you can make it to the start of school, weather, schedules and social gatherings will ease up. Hang in there! Is internet coming to you soon, or is this a more permanent unplugging?
Gaye - Yikes on that thunderstorm! But, I wouldn't worry too much if you don't get the 12 miler in.
I was thinking of a run, but I think I'm going to take the kids to the beach at our little local lake instead. That is, if they can manage to get along for more than 5 minutes in a row and get their chores done! If not, I will drag them to the track!
Thinking of you, Zub.
Nanny #2 interview went much better. DH isn't as "meh" on the first one as I was, but we both agree #2 is the one.
Question:
2/3 references check out as glowing, with the people volunteering info I wanted to ferret out from the discussion. Third reference is busy this evening, I'm booked this afternoon. I've got a phone appt w/ #3 - she really wants to make time to talk to be because "she's just so wonderful." Do I just offer the woman the job now in hopes she doesn't get something else in the next 18 hours? Background check is done as she's been a preschool teacher.
Off to writing jail....
Sounds very encouraging! Im actually going to try to do a weight circuit in the woods with a ridge rest, body weight resistance, tree stumps, tree branches, and a few dumbells. Um yeah, we'll see if that happens
JG - I hope you get answers soon! This has been such a long time that you've been struggling.
Geo - I would grab her and offer the job. You know the 3rd reference is going to be positive, and after 2 glowing references, I would jump on it.
No exercise today, but I did spend 5 hours on the beach with my kids splashing around the lake. I was hot, sweaty, and got a small sunburn despite the numerous reapplications of sunscreen. I figure that has to count for something!
Tonight's nanny interview majored in human nutrition, is training for a marathon, and loves cooking vegetarian. Honestly, I'm a little scared my kids will talk about how they love bacon and hot dogs and she'll get up and leave.
Was that the one you were going to offer the job to?
So, no long bike ride and not enough running either. I managed to swim last night and run 3, but I'd hoped for 6. Then I came back home and collasped into bed after throwing up. Today's biking consisted entirely of errands, so about 5 miles. Argh. I'm so freaking sick of getting sick and I know it's because I'm run down but I'm also really sick of having overtired children who WILL NOT SLEEP. R spent most of the day whining and in tears; J has nursed at least once an hour all freaking day and keeps pinching and scratching me while she does it. And just for fun, I have AF too. [/vent] Hopefully my energy will return tomorrow.
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