Hey, thanks, dingoes. It is a very bad day. My serial hcg results looked very bad and I spoke with my very kind Dr and miscarriage is immanent. I know I am only 8/9 weeks along but it is incredibly sad. I don't have any signs of miscarrying so I don't really know what to do.
This has simply been the very worst time of my life. None of it is helped by my achilles acting up this past couple of weeks.
So, another scan on Thurs to see where things are. I am dreading the entire process.
ugh, alex, it just sucks to live in that zone where you just don't know exactly what's going to happen. I hate it. Hated it myself when I had an early miscarriage, and hated it for every client I ever went through it with. I wish there was some way to just know definitively what will happen when. And on top of the uncertainty to be going through the sadness of losing a wanted pregnancy is awful. I'm thinking of you lots, and sending whatever support I can through the air and internet.
Real - Wow, way to go on the tri! I'm jealous, I think - I'd really like to try one some day. (tjsmama might have to eat her goggles for me, though!)
tjsmama - Fantastic job with all that riding! Sucks that you crashed, but yay for pirate band aids! Everyone knows those help you heal faster!
Lax4 - good job with the party. You are one very brave woman.
memiles - did you want me to put a time on your result for the warrior dash? It's fine to just leave that you completed it, though, since really that's more of a deal than time, right?
NRR - In big news, I drove to the clinic today, then to the hospital, then back to the clinic, and then home all without looking at GPS today! I'm starting to figure out a little bit at least what the heck I'll be doing. I don't have hospital privileges yet due to a goofy mix-up, so I can't see patients yet, and therefore can't directly supervise residents yet, but I've been shadowing and getting to talk with and meet everybody. My high school kids are surviving ridiculously hot marching band camp and seem to be making friends even. And my dh has a job interview tomorrow (he was planning to wait a couple months before even looking, but sent his resume one place and it generated an interview, so we'll see if he thinks it's worth pursuing.)
RR - Marathon training continues. I think I'm going to have my highest milage month ever since I started keeping a log in 2004 this month! (which, is nowhere near as many miles as some of you run, but still a lot for me!) I attempted an interval work out on the treadmill tonight (because it was still 100Fat 5 pm) and something is up with my treadmill. It kept shutting off suddenly - always when I was running a fast interval and nearly knocking me over. I gave up after the third time, so only did 5 x 800, instead of 7 x 800. Dh will take a look at it and see what's up. Not sure I can live entirely without a treadmill!
Maybe this year, since R will need to be to school by 8 and thus I'll have to be up.
Am hoping to get a ride in but it's still dark out from the storm that came through. Maybe I'll head to the gym?
on the rats! OMG, that would freak me out. And, guess what? I'm pretty sure I'm going to do the Splash-Mash-Dash tri, too...we WILL get to race together after all! At least, assuming that I have it in me after the 70.3. I have to defend my 3rd place AG finish, though! Wait, are you in my AG? Crap, you'll probably knock me off the podium. 
Alex ~ 
I'm so sorry. I had two early losses and remember how painful and heart-wrenching it feels. I'm thinking of you.
Gaye ~ congratulations on your amazing cycling accomplishment! You rock!!!
Dr Jen ~ it's nice to feel like you know where you're going isn't it! So glad your marathon training is going so well and that your kids are making friends and acclimating to the new surroundings. Good luck to your DH on his job interview.
Real ~ given the insane mileage you put on your last jogger, I think a new-to-you one is a good choice.
RR ~ walked and ran a little at the Y for an hour yesterday
NRR ~ I got my MRI results and my back is totally normal. No herniated disc, no degeneration of any kind, "perfect" is what the doctor told me over the phone. So the eternal question continues..... what the hell is causing the numbness in my left leg??????? I thought about it this morning and in 2+ years I've seen 2 family medicine doctors, 3 sports medicine specialists, 1 orthopedic surgeon, 1 neurologist, 3 chiropractors, and 2 physical therapists. I've had 3 MRIs, compartment testing, nerve conduction testing, and an EMG. PT, ART, chiropractic adjustments and acupuncture. It will get a little better for a time, but then back to the same numbness, tingling, weakness and burning pain down my leg. I'm running out of differential diagnoses. SOMETHING is compressing my peroneal nerve, somewhere. But what? And where? And most importantly, how can I fix it????
Quote:
JG - Ew, sorry about the icky NG, I hate kids who blow things like Santa, don't they realize they'll be remembered forever as wankers?
Plady, you have such a way with words. Love it.
Real - totally impressed with your jogger mileage. 
I'm glad I have one for "emergencies" but I really hate running with it. You rock.
JayGee - so sorry, I feel frustrated for you just reading all that you have been through. I hope that somehow, someway you can get some answers.
Gaye - congrats!!! What an accomplishment. You amaze me with all you juggle, too - enjoy your "vacation."
La4, yay for a successful party! That sounds like something my kids would LOVE.
Alex, still thinking of you.
RM, hugs to you and DS1. Y'all start school pretty early in August, don't you?
RR: I finished Couch to 5K last week and for now am just running 3 miles 3x per week. I'm turning over the idea of the Outer Banks (NC) half-mary in November but have to get the fall schedule figured out a little more first.
NRR: I'm coaching DD's soccer team (U8 girls) again this year and practice begins next week! I'm so excited... coaching last year was one of the most fun things I have ever done and while I'm nervous about the time commitment, I'm really glad I was able to work it out. This Sunday my handbell partner and I are playing two duets in church and I am kinda freaked about that. We're rehearsing Saturday morning and then hopefully going to see Harry Potter - the kids and the H are going to MIL's so I will have a day to myself, which is sorely needed. Last night was the last class of the statistics class I've been teaching this summer, and it was a little bittersweet. I have so far to go to be the kind of teacher I want to be. Of course, I'll be in grading hell for a while longer - they have a big final assignment due on the 5th and they get to submit drafts to me for feedback... it's gonna be a long couple of weeks in that regard.
OK, must put soccer clothes in the wash - DD is doing 2 a days right now with soccer camp in the morning and soccer clinic in the evening and we are out of clothes since she comes home dripping from each one.
zub-
Jen, congrats on the mileage and being able to navigate to work. Hope your privileges get sorted out soon.
real- Ewww, rats (shudders)
JayGee- I can't imagine how frustrating the lack of answers is. Someone, somewhere must have an answer, right?
eksmom, soccer coaching sounds fun! You sound busy!
NRR- My youngest dislocated her elbow this morning when my husband pulled her off of her big sister who she was scratching. She was pretty sad and still (and quiet!) for a couple of hours, but the doctor fixed it easily and she's back to running around like her usual self. I'm trying to find my groove for the day again, though- we spent the first part of the morning with worry and guilt and I'm crashing a bit now.
RR- Pool date with my husband this afternoon :)
What is fireworks painting?
You scoop a little blob of paint onto paper, then use a straw to blow hard about a quarter inch away from it. The little blob of paint should explode outward, like fireworks. It's fun.
Zub, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with the mental anguish of a miscarriage, but are still waiting for the physical effects. It must be a terrible place to be. I wish there was something I could do to help. I hope the people in your real life are being supportive and kind to you right now. I continue to think of you, and hope that things from now on happen quickly and painlessly.
Real, what a bummer about the rats. I'm not even sure what draws them or why you would have them. Are they hard to get rid of? I'm not creeped out by rodents in general, although I don't know if I've ever seen a rat outside of a pet store. I hope you'll find a way to deal with them.
eksmom, I hope you have another soccer season as successful as the last one. I seem to remember you were a superhero of a coach!
JayGee, I'm sorry you aren't getting answers about your leg. It seems as though you have seen every variety of doctor who might have an idea of what it is. What is the next step for you?
MelW, I'm glad your DD's arm is better. Aren't dislocated elbows in kids really, really common? I think at least one of my kids' playgroup friends has had that happen, and I've heard of it a lot more than that.
I did manage to get out for a run last night, after the thunderstorm passed and after we ate dinner. I pushed myself a bit for six miles, then spent most of the rest of the night curled up on the couch, feeling like I was about to throw up. It was such a terrible stomach issue; I don't know what my problem was. I did have coffee earlier in the day, which has been an issue on days when I do a much longer run, but I suppose I ought to avoid it altogether on days when I plan to run. Bummer.
Today I got an email about signing up for DD's fall dance class. Eek, already? Where has the summer gone? I feel like the time is flying by. This weekend we're going to our local amusement park, which is always DD's choice of birthday activity, and then the endless seven-year-old birthday extravaganza will finally be done. August ninth she goes in for more surgery, so we need to get all of our fun stuff out of the way now, then plan on several weeks of too much TV, lots of craft projects, puzzles, and reading, and no swing set, bike, pool, or contact activities. Boo. I'm hoping she'll be cleared to play soccer, but we might have cut things too close this year.
Running tomorrow? Maybe.
Off to my first ever spin class - a little nervous! I'll be back later for personals, I'm thinking of you and I'm sure I'll be invoking each of your particular strengths over the next hour or so!
Thanks for all the love on here, FB and my blog. So, no cardiac activity this morning. No matter how much you prepare to see this, it's just hard. Not sure what to do.. I should be 8 weeks along (9 weeks by LMP) and no signs of miscarrying. It's awful to feel so pregnant when you're actually not...
What a month.
Lots of love, everyone.
I'm back from a crazy 15 days away. I feel like I could write a book, nod a lot and just enjoy. But I must press on with my work. So hello to everyone, hugs to Alex especially.
Oh Zub - I'm so sorry mama.
JayGee - What a ride you've been on! Maybe it's time for some sort of mystic to read your aura or something, you've certainly tried everything else!
La4 - For a girl who hates parties you sure did throw a whopper of one! I'm so impressed, if I can arrange a single party game and get everyone out the door with their party bag I've exceeded my expectations of success. You should be careful though, it sounds like something your kids (and their friends) are going to want you to repeat.
MelW - Where do you do ocean swims that aren't arctic? I thought all the water in this neck of the woods was cold enough that you'd need a dry suit to stay in for any length of time.
Poppy! Hi!
Eks - Woot woot for you and your team! I'm so glad you're going again, it seems like coaching really fills you up - you know, in a good way.
Real - Maybe you could borrow a terrier to come and play in your yard for a few days?
RM - Ugh, hugs to your son, the poor kid, I can only imagine how stressed he must be to be literally tearing his hair out.
DrJen - It's good to hear you're getting settled in. I bet you'll be loving those hills in no time too. But I hope your TM is back in action for you soon.
Gaye - I love your vacation line-up, it sounds like ours. Why is there just never a boring day?
Speaking of not enough time - spin class was good. I can't say I loved it but I did like getting my HR rate up again, it's been too long since that was a daily thing. I'll definitely go back if only because of the signing up in advance thing. It's actually a great perpetuator, having to commit to class three sessions ahead should play well to my reluctance to quit things or let people down. Now I'm off to give a finish coat (!!!) to some drawer fronts for the kitchen and then I should try to fit in a playdate for Ali G regardless of how trashed the rest of the house is. Sheesh.
I just lost a whole post.
Alex, I'm so sorry. My heart is aching for you. HUG
eks~did you find out what the bugs were?
rats~eek!!
poppy~good to see you!
thanks for the thoughts and support on ds. had his regular therapy appt today and psychiatrist appt in a few more weeks to talk anxiety meds. If I homeschool I don't think he would need meds and that is a decision that is tearing at me. Although he has to learn to cope in society at some point. sigh. Much to think and pray on in the next few weeks. My poor kid. :(
RR: yesterday miles and 12 minute body weight work out with 8lb medicine ball. tdoay, nothing yet.
boss is calling...
Many hugs, Alex. That baby spent every moment of its life loved.
RM ~ your poor, sweet, DS. FWIW, I've got a friend who put her DS on anxiety meds. They have done the world for him in that they've made it so that they can allow the other therapies to work. Before he was too wrapped up in the worries arising from his other issues that he couldn't actually respond to his cognitive and behavioral therapy. It's definitely not looking like a life-long need for medication. It's something so that the other treatments can work so that he can learn to manage it.
Do I have MelW living on the wrong coast?
La^4: I'm totally taking your fireworks art idea for next month's b-day party.
I've not been running. My RP is out of town. It's HOT, and I've got the slightest of knee twinge. I'm taking the week to eat and sleep and not run. It's a conscious decision. It's not laziness. Nope. Nuh uh. Not lazy.
On the kid front:
DD wants to learn sign language. For real. As you would a second language. Enough with this alphabet and number stuff, she wants meat. She's had a taste of it in the last three weeks at camp, and in this huge city of a million people, home to a deaf school, with multiple speech and hearing centers for kids, I've found nothing for kids. Nada. Zip. Zilch. So, now I'm looking for a tutor and 3 other kids to come to my house weekly. She wants to learn in a group. She's clear on that part. No DVD. No web <sigh>
DS (the other not easy one) has a full hearing work up scheduled next week. The audiologist suggested the same thing as bec. When I read what it sounds like to a kid, it seems really close, but it doesn't really fit when I read the description of its effect on the kid. And the annoying part of this whole thing? Every single person I've talked to has said that I'm (1) right to be doing this before he's failing in school (2) his other smarts are going to make it so that he can always muddle along without really failing, but becoming frustrated instead, and (3) the tests they'd need to use aren't valid until he's failing in school and he's at least 7 years old. Meanwhile, his autism evaluation is set for October. :eyeroll:
I found a 1936 book on reading development that looks like exactly the kinds of work he needs. So again, my undiagnosable kids get mommy-derived invent-her-own-wheel therapy.
Mommy wants a run. Hmmmm.
Zub: 
Take care.
Geo, vicious circle you have there. The mommy-derived therapy sounds like the best bet, but exhausting work for you. Sounds like a run is in order.
Welcome back, kerc!
You scoop a little blob of paint onto paper, then use a straw to blow hard about a quarter inch away from it. The little blob of paint should explode outward, like fireworks. It's fun.
MelW, I'm glad your DD's arm is better. Aren't dislocated elbows in kids really, really common? I think at least one of my kids' playgroup friends has had that happen, and I've heard of it a lot more than that.
Oh, I've done fireworks painting before. Just didn't know that name. Though it sounds much cooler (and less suggestive) than "blowing paint with straws" And the dislocated elbows are pretty common, but not without parental guilt. Looking at her today, you would never know anything had happened.
MelW - Where do you do ocean swims that aren't arctic? I thought all the water in this neck of the woods was cold enough that you'd need a dry suit to stay in for any length of time.
Do I have MelW living on the wrong coast?
I'm on the west coast, but the east side of Vancouver Island, on the Salish Sea (formerly known as Georgia Straight). The water between the island and the mainland is warm enough for swimming in the summers (they do the Vancouver Triathlon every July with an ocean swim). The west side of Vancouver Island is open ocean freezing Pacific, too cold for swimming all the way to California. Not that I haven't been swimming in that, too, but here we can really swim. Warm enough that I convinced my husband to cancel our pool date yesterday in favour of an ocean swim.
I had plans for a run this morning, but they evaporated with the bathroom cabinet falling off the wall. I got it back on, but it took up my morning. Perhaps after bedtime tonight? I came online to check tide charts, because I offered the kids river or beach and they chose beach. So off we go... forecast is for more rain over the weekend (long weekend here for provincial holiday), this week is my "marking week" before I start clinical teaching for the rest of the summer, so I'm taking advantage of the weather and trying to swim every day. I need to do some prep for clinical, but it might wait until the weekend...
MelW - Hmm, I'm suddenly feeling like a super wimp. Maybe the water is colder on my side of the Strait?
So I made it to the strength class this morning by the skin of my teeth. I woke up at 5:50, rolled over thinking "ah screw it, I'll make it up later while dd is swimming" then realized I'd arranged for a dog park date then and also realized that I wasn't likely to fall back to sleep but would instead just lie there feeling guilty and lazy. I'm glad I made it, it was a pretty mellow class, the teacher is rather stern and I nearly got scolded because I couldn't get myself steady on the yoga ball and had a giggling fit at the absurdity of women everywhere doing these weird moves on balls at dawn all over the world. But now it's done and I can be self-satisfied for the rest of the day.
Alex ~ hoping you're not stuck in this awful place too much longer. I'm so sorry this is happening.
Lala ~ you may not have enjoyed the process, but it sounds like you threw one heck of a great party!
RM ~ thinking of you and your DS as you prepare for the start of another school year .
RR ~ 3 miles on the indoor track at the Y, 1/3 walk, 2/3 running
NRR ~ saw the chiro again and he's working on my piriformis some more. I felt a bit of improvement after today's ART and ran pain-free. Basically, you diagnose piriformis syndrome by ruling out a back cause for the numbness, which we have. The two older kids started camp at the local college today. DS is taking a roller-coaster design class and DD is taking an animal art class. School starts in 2 1/2 weeks. So not ready.
Follow Mothering