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Looking for support in North Central OK...VBA4C help

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 

Hello everyone. I am hoping to receive as much support here as possible and as much information as possible as well. I have looked for a local ICAN group but there isn't one. I believe the closest one is Tulsa :( That is too far for me to attend meetings and such.


We moved here from TN in February, so we are literally "alone" here without support.


We are expecting again in February 2012. I am 7 weeks and a couple days, but with the medical community's lack of support, I need to find someone to attend my birth asap.


I had 4 children, totally natural and vaginally. The first 2 were with a midwife in MS (Mississippi) but she moved out of country at the start of my third pregnancy.


After my 4th child, we moved to TN and I had an OB/GYN. He started cervidil to dilate my cervix as I had an issue starting after my second birth when I had a second trimester loss which required a D&C.


My daughter turned breech right before he started the cervidil. He starts screaming c-section once he realized she turned. I argued and fought, but he and the hospital refused to work with her and me on getting her to turn. Emergency c-section. During my next pregnancy, in the third trimester I was told I had no choice but a scheduled c-section. I cried. I hit my doctor. I screamed at him and made him stay while I expressed my anger at the whole situation. He pulled the dead baby card and told me he would lose his license if he didn't do the c-section....yada yada...


So, one emergency c-section, three scheduled c-sections. 4 total. No medical reasons what-so-ever.


I met with a midwife in OK City on Friday. She was rude, making false statements and offering NO factual information. She was terrible, eventhough my children were in the room. She actually said that I have to be ok with a forced c-section. Then she said aloud that she needed to be careful with her words and said no one can be forced, but that I have no other options. She kept hounding me the whole app with saying I had to agree to a c-section and so on.


So, my question is, can anyone help me find someone who will be honest and compassionate in attending my vba4c? Her office lied big time to me, saying they are the only ones who are allowed to vbamc in OK. I knew that was a lie right away, but whatever. The part I didn't know was a lie was being told that their midwives absolutely have NO problems with a vbac after 4 c-sections.


Help please.


Thank you.



post #2 of 10

Hi mama. I'm in the OKC area (I presume you are closer to OKC than to Tulsa?). We do actually have an iCAN group of Central OK. Here's a link to their FB page (http://www.facebook.com/pages/ICAN-of-Central-Oklahoma/169833629739105). On the page it says this about the July meeting: "Our July meeting is going to be the 2nd Thursday...July 14th at the Panera Bread in Midwest City at 6:30pm. Hope to see you there!" I have been meaning to go (I'm planning a VBAC in Sept.), but haven't been yet. I'd guess they'd be a good resource for you.


Did you meet with the CNM group at OU, Heaven Sent midwives or the birth center midwives in Norman?


I would be surprised if the CNMs at OU could help you. I doubt they are lying if they say they can't help you. OK is VERY VBAC UNfriendly. OU Children's does VBACs and then like one OB that works at another hospital. Most OBs here will tell you "no VBAC" after just 1 c/s. It sucks.


If you haven't already done so, I'd talk to one of the CPMs--hopefully they can give you some advice and let you know if it's possible to get someone in-hospital to attend you.


I hope you find some good news soon!

post #3 of 10
Thread Starter 

Hello and thank you for all of the information :)


I am actually closest to Ponca City (which has a community small hospital) and even closer yet to Arkansas City, Kansas. I did see the midwife at OU Physicians. What they lied about was saying they would vbac me after 4 c-sections on the phone, but when I got there and into the back with the midwife, she freaked on me and said no. She told me no one of ethical ability would ever vbac me (or anyone else for that matter) after 4.


Tulsa is closer to me than OKC, but I took the chance based on what I was told when calling to inquire about a vba4c and they said absolutely and made my appointment. Too bad they wasted my time and energy, and theirs as well. I don't respect the games they played, nor the lies. You know what I mean :) . I just want an honest truthful from the start caregiver. I am glad however that I found out how awful she was and that she is not the one whom I would choose to care for me. That's the only positive out of it all,lol!


I hope to find a midwife, no matter where she is, that has experience and is able to deliver my baby (naturally/vaginally).

post #4 of 10
Ah, didn't realize you were so far from okc. I'm sorry about your experience with the Ou cnms. I think your best bet would be to talk to one of the cpms and see if they have any advice or one of them can take you if an ooh birth is something you're comfortable with. I dont know of midwives outside the metro area. I think there might be one in Stillwater who travels. I really doubt you're going to find any practitioner in a hospital to attend you with the anti-VBAC/malpractice issues we have here. Good luck!
post #5 of 10
Hi- I am new to the group and just saw your thread. If you haven't had luck finding support yet, you might try looking for midwives that are based out of Wichita. It isn't that far from Ponca and there are some midwives that service the Kansas/Oklahoma border area but list Wichita as their home base since it is the closest big city.
I hope you find someone that will work with you!
post #6 of 10

What's sad is I had a similar experience with OU. The midwives have requirements that keep them there. You probably can VBA4C at OU, just not with a midwife. I've vbaced twice there and the drs were far more willing to give me wiggle room than the MW. It's pretty impossible to VBAC w/ a MW there w/o tons of "cautionary measures".

post #7 of 10
Thread Starter 

Thank you for the suggestions :) I do appreciate it!


I wonder if there are any in Wichita, KS that would homebirth? Or if they have any center/hospital there that allow VBA4C? I'm not opposed to either home or hospital, I'm just opposed to having a scheduled c-section.


I would like to ask if you have any idea of whom to contact that does VBA4C in OU? This would be very helpful, as the doctor I saw in Tulsa yesterday sent me home without a prenatal care check up because I want the VBAC and he is not allowed to take me with 4 priors c-sections at Saint Francis hospital. He felt confident that I would find someone, and he tried to remember if he had heard of any in other areas but he came up with nothing :(


So, I'm almost 18 weeks along, and I have not had a prenatal visit since 6 weeks along. I'm lost and feeling completely lonely. The emotional crying spree I'm on lately is not helping matters any.


Thank you VERY much for any and all suggestions and names/info anyone can provide for my journey of finding someone awesome and willing to assist with our delivery.

post #8 of 10

I have an appt with my OB at OU on the 29th. I will pick her brain and see if she can give me any pointers for you! hug2.gifHang in there mama, have you thought about picking any old OB and just using them for the prenatal care? Then you can just switch once you find the right one for you.

post #9 of 10

I realize that this is an old thread.  Hi, I'm the chapter leader of ICAN in Tulsa!  There are homebirth midwives who might attend a homebirth VBA4C, but there are no hospital-based midwives (CNMs) in the state that I know of who will.  There is also only one doctor in the entire state that will attend VBAMC, and he is here in Tulsa.  Dr. John Thompson works here in Tulsa at St. Francis hospital.  We had a mom who had a VBA3C last year, and he attended her birth.  Best of luck, and let me know if there is anything I can do to help!



post #10 of 10
Thread Starter 

Thank you Steph :) I do want to update you so that you will know what I was told. I did have an appointment with Dr. Thompson in Tulsa prior to moving out of OK and back to my home state (MS). He was very bright and the twinkle in his eyes at the mention of VBAC alone was inspiring. His medical assistant prior to meeting him....she's another story...she said I HAD to be examined and when prompted to explain why, she said because ALL of his patients are on their first visit. She then proceeded to argue with me on every reason of why it was a necessisity and why I had no right to refuse the internal. I kicked her out of the room.


Dr. Thompson came in and he was very pleasant. He did tell me though that St. Francis would not allow him to deliver me VBA4C. He said he'd love to do it, but his hands were tied by the hospital. He also decided that since I was VBAC'ing and he couldn't help me, that he wouldn't even start my chart. He said he was sure I could find someone who could/would attend my labor/birth but he wasn't aware of who it could/would be.


I thank you very much for your help and offer Steph. You are awesome!!! :)



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