Lots of Bad habits, suggestions welcomed

[KristenN]

Hello! I have a 16 month old boy who I am in the process of weaning. 

He will only sleep in the bed with me and I am to tired to do anything about it. 

The habits I'd like to break are getting him in his crib without the intense freak outs. And when he wakes up to leave him there without nursing him back to sleep and me falling asleep too in the bed. And getting him to sleep without nursing.

I'm so tired and its just about time for me to go back to work and I can't even imagine how to get my act together to do this.  

Thank you for your help!

[lifeguard]

"Bad" habits is a matter of opinion - most of this is stuff he will naturally grow out of but I can tell you what worked for us.

At about 15-16 months is when I nightweaned ds. I used the Dr. Jay Gordon method & worked quite well for us. It took a couple of weeks to be a solid change.

We switched ds to his own "big boy" bed at 17 or 18 months. I had given up on the crib looooong before that 'cause I could never get him into it without waking him & it becoming awful. With his own bed I could nurse him down & then slide out but I still got my own space for sleeping. We put rails on the bed & it worked out great. Some people start with a mattress on the floor.

As for stopping nursing to sleep we continued with it until 26 months when it stopped being an easy way for him to fall asleep (it was taking longer & longer for him to fall asleep & just becoming a stressful time for me) so I can't add much there.

[pianojazzgirl]

I found keeping my toddler in bed actually made me less tired, lol.  When I decided to night-wean him I substituted "snugging and hugging" (as we call it, lol) back to sleep.  That only worked because we were in the same bed, or, I guess I could have snuggled him back to sleep in *his* bed if it was big enough to fit both of us, and then left and gone back to my bed (though that seems more tiring!).  I do agree with the pp that these "bad" habits are something he will grow out of naturally.  I'm a big fan of making things easy on myself, so I try to just go with the flow with what my kiddos are ready to do, and not worry about pushing goals, etc, UNLESS something really isn't working for me (ie. if sleeping with your toddler is legitimately driving you nuts, then yes try to find a solution, but if it's just that people are telling you that he *should* be in a crib, but really things are working fine as they are, then don't sweat it).

[QuestionGal]

ETA: wrote a post then decided it was probably not much help to the OP since we have not had the same issues at the same age.  

I really do wish you luck in finding a routine that works for you. A well rested mom is vital

[Jenni1894]

The only tip I have to offer is about getting him in the crib w/o freaking out.    Put him in the crib to play with some toys while you put some laundry away in his room/clean etc.    I'm guessing he freaks out b/c he's not used to the crib and associates it only as a place to sleep away from you.   Maybe if you help him associate the crib as a fun place to play he will be less likely to freak out when you put him in the crib for sleeping.   Which may help for his self soothing at night?!

[P.J.]

I have no experience with this, but I have a friend who got her 12 month old into his own bed with rails and just skipped the crib altogether. So I just wanted to chime in with the other posters who've said that maybe you'll have better luck with an actual bed rather than a crib. And I would put it next to your bed first, then on the other side of the room, then eventually in his own room (if that's what you're aiming for).

I have also read on these forums that Jay Gordon's night weaning method does work.

[LadyCatherine185]

Another vote for Jay Gordon Nightweaning (you can google) and using a bed rather than crib. When my DS1 was ~19 months old we nightweaned with him in our bed, and then moved him to his own "big boy" (twin with guardrail) bed about a month later. DH started going to him when he would wake up, and he went back to sleep very quickly.

[KristenN]

Thank you all so much! I am going to try all of your suggestions. 

Kindly,

K