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5mo wants to be "further away" to sleep?

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 

This has been going on for about two weeks now and both i and DH are reaching the end of our ropes.


DD is just now 5mo (she was a month early if that makes any difference) and has always been a great sleeper from the very beginning she's slept 6 1/2 hours or so at night almost straight through and just nursed for about an hour before and after that long period and after she would sleep and nurse on an off...I guess we just counted ourselves lucky that we had been blessed with a "sleeper". She has also bedshared with us from the beginning (she spent about two hours the first night in a bassinet but then came into bed with us to cuddle and nurse.


About two weeks ago DD had started to move more in her sleep. A lot more. Like throwing herself against the bed kicking out and throwing her arms very forcefully against the bed and us and in general keeping us awake. However at the time she was doing it in her sleep so I figured she was just having a weird dream and it would pass. Well it didn't.


Not only has her thrashing continued but it got to the point that she was waking herself up once an hour or more. And now I can see her fighting not to go to sleep in the first place.

(She normally nurses to sleep at night and sometimes for naps but now she'll only nurse in short bursts...I see her start to get sleepy and then she rips herself away from me and arches her back and thrashes. A few minutes later once she is fully awake she's content to nurse again.


Now she's waking herself up at night with her kicking and squriming and the only thing that seem to help is to move her farther away from me to the point that she doesn't have anything to kick off of or to smack into. DH has taken this to mean that she's trying to "wean herself" not of nursing but from sleeping in our bed and seems to think that this is the perfect opportunity to put her back into that bassinet and into her own room (which is right next to ours, but I still find that completely unacceptable at this age). I know DH wants our bedroom to be a relaxing place where he can turn on the lights at night, we can watch a movie or talk, and not have to whisper and walk on eggshells because of DD sleeping with us but when DD does wake up she's usually calm so long as she can reach out and touch one of us and I can mostly nurse her back to sleep.


While this method might mean sacrificing my sleep and a little sanity I just can't see her being read to wean herself out of our bed (and night nursing) so young. We have a queen sized bed and for space reasons we really can't fit anything larger where we are right now, so I've taken to sleeping on another mattress on the floor with dd with me . the problem is that I already had problems getting to sleep and now I'm waking myself up thinking I hear her waking up.....Am I crazy? Should I try to get her to sleep on her own?(Note: DD has recently started teething, don't know if that has anything to do with it but if it does is this stage going to last through ALL her teeth because if so some one please shoot me now because I will not be sleeping for two years)

post #2 of 5

Welcome to Sleep Deprivation Land.  It's a magical place where we walk around like Zombies ready for the apocolypse.  Ok, seriously, I feel your pain.  If your DD sleeps better with a little distance, try it for a few nights and see how it works.  Maybe put the bassinet next to your bed where you'll know she'll be safe and you can check on her and give it a shot.  It couldn't be any worse than how you're feeling about things now...  If she does better, then you'll know that she just needed a bit more space.  There are some babies that evolve like that.  Nothing wrong as long she's content.

post #3 of 5

one of my kids slept best in a bed by himself and one slept best plastered to my side. It can't hurt to place her in her own bed and see what happens. There are kids who need their own space. (Ds slept best on his own, with a blanket over his head - -drove me batty.) If things get worse after you move her, or if she's clearly not happy, then all you have to do is bring her back to bed.


This might also be her 4 month sleep regression (which can occur anywhere from 3-5 months, but since she's 4 months adjusted, she's smack dab in the middle). Their sleep cycles change (I don't remember how, sorry).

post #4 of 5

My DS was born at home, and slept in bed with us from that night on. He would sleep sandwiched against me and we all slept peacefully. We were all happy with the arrangement. I had done a lot of reading on this forum and was prepared to have him in our bed for years. Around 4 or 5 months he stopped sleeping and started waking and thrashing ALL THE TIME. We tried putting him in his crib, he slept again, we slept again. It was a pain to have to go get him every time he woke to nurse, but he seemed so much happier. I think some kids just do need their own space! For awhile after he went to his own room (literally 5 steps from our door) he would sleep in our bed after his 2nd or 3rd night waking, but after 9 months or so he would only go back to sleep if he was in his own bed. He is a GREAT sleeper, and puts himself right to sleep with no crying or fussing for naps and night time. At 14 months he still takes two 2-3 hour naps a day plus sleeps about 10 hours at night. He has a floor bed so if he didnt want to be in bed alone he could easily get out, but he likes his independence. Try letting your DD sleep alone, maybe its what she needs... or maybe its not and its just a phase that will pass. One way to find out:)

post #5 of 5
Thread Starter 

I think the pp might be right. over the past week I brought DD's bassinet into our room just to see if I could get her to sleep in something other than our bed (she had previously rejected any sleeping arrangement that didn't involve being sandwiched against either me or DH (who is an even lighter sleeper than I am, which is saying something he used to wake me up saying he was worried I was rolling over to close to DD. lol) and so far it seems like space is exactly what she needed to sleep. she's been going to sleep between 8:30 and 9:30 and sleeping until 5/ 5:30 in the morning, and even then when she wakes up it's only to get a snack and she goes right back to sleep until the time we normally get up around 8.....


I'm both elated to be getting a full nights sleep again, and a little sad to be moving her to her own bed, I guess I just assumed we'd be co sleeping for at least a year or two until she was completely night weaned. That said we're going to have to move her to her own room soon- space issues, she is really too big for the bassinet we have her in and with how cramped our bedroom is there is no way a full sized crib or even a crib mattress will fit and not take up ALL the floor space we have. As of now we have a small lamp (blown glass with pink colorings in it) as a night light in our bed room which was left on all night so that I could see to nurse her or use the rocking chair when she woke up and she seemed to focus on it a lot when she didn't want to nurse to calm herself down. I'm hoping that if we move that to her new room along with her it will help her transition to her own space.

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