Birds Do it... Bees Do it... Even Ladies in their 40's do it..... Summer 40++++ TTC thread

[Kristin0105]

As requested the Summer 40++ TTC thread..... keep all those BFP+ coming ladies.  

Pass the fertility goddess game:

Sign up with a pm to me and I will add you to the list. Get the address for the person next in line, and send the goddess to her with a treat, wish, prayer, ttc tip, whatever is in your heart to share and add. When you receive the goddess let us know online, and share the token you got from the previous player if you so wish. Some things may be better private, and I know some of us believe in keeping some things close in order not to spoil them. Here goes:

Buzzer Beater

Kristin0105 

LitMama  

Karalina   

contactmaya

Stealthee  on her way

WaturMama

Previous threads: http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1308918/birds-do-it-bees-do-it-even-ladies-in-their-forties-do-it-40-spring-ttc/480#post_16538308

 http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1288625/fabulous-40-ttc-new-year-and-new-hopes/500#post_16392793 

http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1267754/40-ttc-awesome-autumn-for-starting-a-baby-thread

 Babies Born

kbhlmh/Karen (44) Kevin (boy) born 12/05
noordinaryspider (42) Terran born 1/18/08
Hockeylover/Juls (44) Twin Girls born 12/08
Juneau (44): Baby Girl Eliza Jane born 1/12/09
DoulaMomVicki: Edie Mae born 1/25/09
WV Mommy/Erika (41): Josiah Born 2/5/09
Veganmama719 (41): Declan James born 8/2/09
saoirse2007 (39): It's a Girl!!! Rauri born 8/16/09
ElliesMomma(41) Welcome Shawn Robert born 09/8/09
Pookietooth/Jen (44) Baby Girl 10/28/09
Stealthee (41) A new baby boy, born 1/31/10
Grace24(39) Xavier, born 2/15/10
Sunrise/Sara (43) Lucy, born 2/28/10
zonapellucida (40) Bennet, born 2/28/10
BuzzerBeater (46) Georgia, born 5/20/10
LisaSedai (42) Lily Elise, born 6/17/10
pitchfork (41) Fiona Ellen, born 8/31/10
kel32brown/Kelli (43) baby born 10/6/10

karen1968 (41) Paige Marie, born 11/5/10

M0xxie (43) 1/29/11

2bpeaceful (42) ds born 2/5/11
sneezykids/kelli (41) Claire Katherine (4/25/2011)

Bhappy/Karen (43) Quinn 6/8/2011   

karmab (42) Girl 6/21/2011

greenmama66 (45) 7/22/2011 Boy

BFP's:


Ompath (40) EDD 12/1/10
NeverBeenHappier (39) EDD 12/5/10
mentalgiant (43) EDD 2/27/11
maritimegirl (45)

bookwormommy (42) EDD 8/8/11
mamamerle (40) 8/8/11

Saoirse2007 (41) EDD 10/25/2011

moona (41)

EonJourney (41)

Lotus1 (40) EDD 12/27/11

ContactMaya (44) EDD 01/24/2012

purplefish

Fuller2 (44) EDD 03/06/12

HOPEFULS:

alittlesandy/Sandy (40)

amommyTTc (47) TTC#8

beachlover (44)

Boozhemama (40)

contactmaya (44)
fuller2 (44)

gerlassie (42)

Gumblossom 44

Halifax40 (43)
heathenmom (39)

homebirthy/Amy (43)

hopeful mom2be (43)

Jenjersnap (4 )
Karalina (45)

kay99 (40)
kbhlmh (49) http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/8fcb8
kittyl/Kitty (42)
 Kristin0105 (45) http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1dfb40
lauraloveshorses (40)
lauri0115(43)
LitMama (43)

lotus1 (40)
 lovestolearn (48)

lovetolaugh (40)
lovbeingamommy/Kate (45)
mamapajama (40)
MI_Dawn (39) http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/212b8a

Milkymaid (42)

miss_sonja (44)

MsDolphine (42)
music.mama.pdx (44)
naturallyspeaking (39)
nymomma

OTmama (41)

Plummum

purplefish
reikibirth/Toni (46)
saoirse2007 (41)
Sapphos/Laura (41)

Shelley71 (39)
shy (40.5) http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/25ec6f

skeemama

Spiralchrissy (39)

StargirlHB
Stealthee (42)

Stevi (42)

TenzinsMama

THANKFULFORFIVE (42)
Waturmama (44)

3surfboys (40) Laura



GETTING READY

carfreemama (42)
Folaboye
Homebirthy (44) 

If you have information to edit or update, please PM me and I will make changes and additions ASAP. I have a really good feeling about the spring for us we have several new BFP's! Let's add to the BFP list.

Edited by Kristin0105 - 10/5/11 at 12:44pm

[Kristin0105]

Welcome ladies. Here is the summer thread. If you are new here please come in, make yourself comfortable and introduce yourself.

Just wanted to checdk in and see if we know where the goddess is? Last I checked she was with contactmaya and stealthee is next on the list. Am I correct?

Good luck to all and may this summer thread bring good luck and BFP to all who have been waiting and hoping.

[contactmaya]

Well, just wanted to drop by and say.....

Congratulations Homebirthy!!!!! Yay, another pregnant 44  year old!!!!  Sending plenty of sticky vibes your way.

Congratulations on making it to 15 weeks Lotus1. Sounds like your first trimester wasnt much fun.

Yay for  quadrupling betas  Fuller2 !!

Greenmama, wishing you an easy birth and a healthy baby. 

Me? almost 11 weeks now.....

Lots of baby dust all round

[contactmaya]

ps. thanks for the new thread Kristen. I still have the Goddess. Im also in the middle of a move. I will be sending the Goddess soon. :-) 

[greenmama66]

Thanks cotactmaya- I am nervous and excited! Sending preggo's sticky vibes and  those TTC magic fertile baby dust.

[Karalina]

Gumblossom:::

I am so so so so sorry. I have been thinking of you. I had  decided that if you m/c I was going to stop trying to conceive--- I just don't think i could go through it again. Our stories are similar----- the gift i got from my m/c was just how lucky I have been for the miracle of life and birth to happen for me 3 times with no problems. It is amazing how everything comes together to make a baby. I have just felt so grateful for what i have---- that has been my gift.  I am sending you love for your journey, Gumblossom.

Litmama---- I am so sorry that you didn't get your sweet baby this time.  I really am.

I haven't checked in bc we went on an emergency family time trip-- my DH was super stressed out so we all went away- we ended up at Big Sur and Santa Barbara. the ocean was a wonderful healer.

AFM, I really may throw in the towel. I certainly have my hands full with my boys, esp. my older one who is causing us lots of turmoil right now. I am waiting on a new counselor to call as we speak to try to help us with him. I'm gonna let it all settle in.

I just want you all to know how much I aprreciate this board and all of you.

[WaturMama]

Hi Kristin, I'm here! Thank you for the new thread.

Greenmama, I am so excited and happy for you. I am wishing you a good-powerful, connecting birth experience. You get to see your baby soon! Awesome.

Fuller2, great news about those betas!! Yay!!

Contactmaya, wow almost 11 weeks! You are going to be sending on that fertility goddess with some good energy.

Karalina, good to see you. Sorry to hear about your dh's stress, but so good you had a lovely solution. You sound discouraged. I hope you find a way to a choice that feels life-giving and opening, even if there is grief with it.

[gumblossom]

Thankyou for the new thread  Kristin.

And hello to everyone.

Fuller great news about the betas.

Karalina, this is definitely a hard road to take. I do have regrets - that I didn't try for more babies sooner, that I waited til I was 38 to get my husband to have his vasectomy reversed, that it took him 2 years to decide to do it, that I didn't ttc sooner after my little boy's birth (but that would have meant weaning him too early). Of course, if this pregnancy had turned out fine, I wouldn't have these regrets, would I?LOL!

It's just not easy to go through a loss. And it is lonely. I seem to be the only one grieving. My DH and children are sad for me, not with me. However, I have heard that grief is such a personal thing, that it wouldn't really help even if they did grieve with me. It is so hard to watch the world carry on as normal when my heart feels broken. And while I feel like this I just can't talk to my DH about what the future holds, because I'm way too emotional. I know I have to wait a while. I guess we'll have that conversation once I have seen the doctor for path results etc. But that's not until the 25th. I just don't want to hear my DH say, "no, we can't try again". All I want to hear from him right now is "If you want to, we can try again".

I haven't actually made up my mind to try again yet, but I'd really like to be able to choose. I'm not sure I can move on unless I do try again. Somehow, I feel I am meant to give it one last go. But then again, there are other times that I think - there is no way I can go through this again.

I'm racking my brain trying to work out what I'm supposed to gain from this - why the Universe/God/Mother Earth has thrown me this curve ball? I know my acupuncturist will also have something to say about the Universe. Unfortunately I can't talk to her, because, like my Doctor, she's also on vacation! I have an appointment a few days after I have seen the dr. I made those appointments to see them after the 12 week scan. I was so looking forward to it. I realised this morning it is a week since the D&C, so it's more than a week since my baby died, and I find that really hard to believe.

I'm trying to come to terms with it all. One thing I can do is be proactive - just in case I do ttc again - I'm taking the nettle infusions again - I thought it might help with my tiredness (feeling really tired after this loss), and I've ordered melatonin and inisotol to take. This combination is supposed to be good for quality eggs. I'm wondering about taking extra folic acid too. Does anyone else do that? I know it helps to prevent miscarriage - but it depends why you are miscarrying.

I'm sorry this post is so all about me.

I'm happy to hear that there are plenty of bfp's and pregnancies going on.

[WaturMama]

Big ((HUG)), gumblossom. I so relate to so much of this--the feeling of grieving alone. You put it sadbeautifully that others are sad for, not sad with. And also that if it went differently, you'd feel totally differently. I also wonder about the plan here, if any, of the Universe(/God/Mother Earth). I often wonder why I would be given this strong calling and then put so much effort and intention into my part and not have it fulfilled. I am very curious what your  acupuncturist's take on your question will be.

[Stevi]

I am thinking that I should give this up. I was diagnosed with Chlamydia, just found out today. And the mega dose of antibiotics are likely to abort any possible pregnancy, IF it survived the 100 + fever I had the other day from getting the Flu, and that's if I even managed to conceive in the first place. I am pretty depressed right now.

[gumblossom]

Oh Stevi, I'm so sorry to hear this. It is such a difficult journey isn't it? Take some time to let it all sink in before you decide to give up.

I was saying to my DH yesterday, this desire for a baby, it's so deep and consuming. It seems to me such a simple and beautiful thing to want, yet it evades us, and that feels wrong.

(((HUGS)))

[gumblossom]

Dh and I had the talk. The one we were both avoiding. He told me again that he doesn't want another baby and I just couldn't cope with it.I had a very terrible night,I was so upset and sad, but we talked again, and he agreed we should wait til the path results come back and talk some more about it. I think he is resigned to ttc again - he knows I just can't let it go, at least not right now.

He revealed that he finds all the noise/activity with young children really overwhelming. I've noticed this is his father - who will just leave the room, the house or the party if there are too many grand-children around. My Dh is turning out like that too. I told him I think the universe wants him to overcome this, so that he doesn't turn out like his anti-social, neglectful father. He seemed to think that was fair!LOL. But it got me thinking that somehow we have to work out how he can have time away from all the noise etc, so that he doesn't find it too overwhelming.

Do any of you have DH's or DP's that feel like this? Is it because he is an older dad? Is it just G.O.M(Grumpy Old Man) syndrome?

[enigo]

Gumblossom, after my first mc DH didn't want to TTC anymore. I was devastated. It turned out he was worried something would happen to me. (Hemorrhage and a reeeaaallly bad mc).

Get this...I have a friend who got pregnant quite by accident at 44. She thought she was starting menopause she now has a wonderful healthy son that is the same age as my DS...5 yrs old. She just emailed me that she had a mc last Thurs. First...I'll let you do the math, but wow! Here I am starting to feel like it's too late and her situation (even though it ended badly) has given me new hope.

Also I had an appt with an RE this morning. She wants me to try Lovenox injections after o. Not sure if I want to go there, but I will have the test (Reproductive immunology panel) next week to see if that is the problem. She also wants me to do Femara. Not sure how I feel about that either. I already ovulate. She was slightly doom and gloom about my age, said at my age (41...really?) she said I only had another year before she wouldn't be able to help me but said she was confident she could help me have a baby. (This was before she found out I didn't have insurance)

Anyhoo after all that she did an ultrasound of my uterus and ovaries. She was very shocked when she saw my ovaries. She said that at my age most ovaries are starting to look like raisins She said that if she didn't know my age, and did the sono, she would have guessed me much younger. It made me feel loads better as I kept tearing up while trying to talk to her (What is wrong with me?)
She also mentioned that she further felt it had to be an immune problem since the ovaries looked so good.
I'm also going to go back to acupuncture. That has been the only thing that I feel really did me some good. Western medicine makes me cry. I've never cried at the acupuncturist.
Edited by enigo - 7/9/11 at 4:58am

[Kristin0105]

[fuller2]

I just wanted to say that in my life at least, some deeply important things that I really wanted did not come until I had truly given up on them. 

Also wanted to pass along Julia Indichova's idea that if you feel you need to give birth, what you need to give birth to is not always an actual child but might be something else--something creative, or spiritual, or otherwise very important to you and possibly for the world.

On a more mundane note -- Enigo, your RE sounds brutally honest. (Maybe too much...sigh.)  I work with a lot of very high-caliber physicians and it's easy for them to forget how every one of their words to a patient, even casual comments, can be like a branding.  On the other hand, a good doctor will work with the evidence at hand, and with you it looks like she has good evidence that your ovaries are fine.  If she can help you with an immunological issue than that is good.   

I do think there is a wide variety in possibility among individual women in their 40s  -- I had a friend who got pregnant at 40 on her first try, has a beautiful little boy now; I had another friend who was basically starting menopause at 40.  The numbers they throw around are averages and may not be accurate for YOU as an individual.   (My mom didn't go through menopause until she was about 57 so I am hoping I have those genes...)

[gumblossom]

Fuller, my mom loves to tell me how she started menopause at 45. But I have no idea when she stopped having a cycle. I think 45 was when things started, but I am hoping that won't happen to me. Because that means I only have about 4 or 5 months.

I do think it is a very individual thing. When I was ttc my son, at 41, I was told to go straight to IVF (by the urologist who reversed my husband's vasectomy). He said I was getting too old and had little chance of getting pregnant. well, we did have to ttc for 7 months, but that was after a reversal, which could have taken 12 weeks just to start working again. I wish I hadn't worried myself back then, because it was all okay, and now, I consider anyone under 42 really young! These last two pregnancies took 6 months and 4 months ttc. It isn't getting pregnant that's the problem - I need a healthy bean to stick.

I'm not ready to throw in the towel just yet.

Enigo - I'm glad to hear that your ovaries aren't raisins. That's a good start!

I've started temping again. Has anyone here temped after a miscarriage? I did last time, but this time my temps are in the range they usually are after ovulation, and I can't believe that I would have ovulated yet - I only had the D&C last Friday(but the baby had died about 5 days earlier I think). Could I be running hot because I have residual progesterone in my body? It's winter here, so it isn't because the bedroom is hot (we don't heat it). I'm worried it means something like menopause! But I should really just give it some time and see what happens.

Better make some more nettle infusion I think...

Edited by gumblossom - 7/11/11 at 3:49pm

[contactmaya]

Food for thought from

 

http://www.mothers35plus.co.uk/older-fathers.htm

 

 

<<……..research published in November 2005, reveals that men aged 50 and above were more than four times more likely to have a child with Down syndrome……….

 

 

 …….he noted that the risk of miscarriage appeared to rise along with the father's age, regardless of how old the mother was…

 

The risk of losing a baby was 60 per cent higher when the father was aged 40 or over, compared to when he was 25 to 29 years old. It was also about three times greater when the man was aged between 35 and 39 years of age, than if he were younger than 25…………>>

 

[Stevi]

Contactmaya...   I read some of that a few years ago. It is why I try to use donors in their twenties.

[Kristin0105]

I choose to to ignore statistics that don't comply with my way of thinking LOL My dad was 42 when I was conceived, my husband was 40 when my dd was conceived.... our neighbor growning up was over 50 when his 50 year old wife conceived their last child.

[homebirthy]

Thanks for all the congrats!  I started to TTC when my youngest was 6 months old, 2 1/2 years ago.  I had 3 m/c, my last in Sept. 10.  So sad. We prepared and "tried" for the last 3 cycles before getting pregnant on the 4th.  It was the 3rd cycle when I started taking Quantum Female Fertility Formula.  http://www.quantumherbalproducts.com/products/female_fertility.htm  - highly recommeded.  Felt good.  I also started taking Shatavari and Ashwagandha as recommended by my subtle energy cranial sacral therapist, last cycle and still taking. Belly growing it seems daily and I will keep you all updated.  I'm also still nursing my 3 year old. Thanks for all the love and good vibes to you all.