Sad, Happy, Confused...lots of feelings going on.

[lifeintheslowlane]

I'm a 34 year old mother of two children.  Happily married.  My husband and I have had lots of discussion over the past six months of adding another to our family.  He is not ready, not sure he'll ever be.  Likes that our kids are getting older, easier to do fun things with (fishing, camping, etc.)  I'd love another.  He has been 75%no, 25% yes.  I'm about 80% yes, but in no way want a child that we both are not excited about.  My husband is a great partner and father.   I also just made the decision to go back to work in my field of speech therapy, 2 days a week.

To add to this, my younger brother, who I am very close to, and his wife, whom I love dearly, had been trying to concieve for about 10 months.  They announced a few weeks ago they were pregnant--I've never seen my sweet sis in law look so happy.  We just found out last week that she is miscarrying--they went in for an 8 week ultrasound and saw no heartbeat.  I was devastated for them, I was an emotional wreck for most of the week, even thought of postponing my return to part time employment as I could barely keep it together for most of the week.  So sad for them, though they are young and i hope the future will bring them lots of love/children...

SO...I've been semi-sad about probably nto having another, but about two months ago said to my husband that I loved him, and he was such a wonderful Dad.  I said I don't want you to feel sad, adn I think another baby would make you sad (he worries about money, being able to give to his kids, etc.)  I gave him "permission" to get a vascectomy.  I made peace with this--it actually made me feel sort of happier to know that we weren't going to have another, instead of wondering if someone in our family was missing...if that makes sense.  I've felt happier w/ the decision to remain with two since telling him this....

SO...had a 5 or 6 day period that began about June 18th (I joked w/ my husbandt that he would nto get to be a Dad again for Father's Day!).  I had tons of hormonal acne the days before the period and last week--the kind I used to get before having kids (I have PCOS).  We've only doen the deed once, using diaphram and condom, on June 24th, as my period had ended that a.m..  Last week (June 29th or so) I noticed spotting...didn't think too much of it.  This weekend, had a few faint feelings of nausea.  Now, I'm having wicked pressure on my bladder and feel bloated.  I bought a pregnancy test today...Tuesday...which would only be 17 days after my period began...and I got a faint faint line.  But that was at 1pm.  Ugh...

So, I am torn.  I feel sick at having to call my bro/sis in law and tell them that even though we were not trying and in combo would not choose a third child right now, we might be having one.  I havent told my hubby yet....want to see teh line for myself.  In our other pregnancies, I have told him befoer testing so I feel wierd about this...

Also, I'm not sure how far along I am.  I FEEL much more bloated than one should for 3 weeks pregnant.  I'm wondering if I am 5 or 6 weeks along...I'm really confused as I had quite a long period, used tampons, etc. 

Was also scheduled for oral surgery in a week.  I've had this appt. for 3 months and it is something I thought I would take care of, since we weren't planning a family.  Have no idea what to do...

Think I'll take a new test in the a.m., tell my hubby, call the OB?????  I am so sad at the thought of telling my Bro/SIL...

Long story, huh????

[lifeintheslowlane]

Oh, and I just realized I may have lyme disease.  Have the rash....

Going to probalby be callng OB and fam. practice doc tomorrow

[Dov'sMom]

There's a lot there.

A few points, totally out of order:

• Lyme Disease: Great that you caught it at the rash stage; that means it's still easy to attack with regular antibiotics and probably won't affect the baby. Get the antibiotics ASAP,though, as the rash can come weeks after infection -- I'd call NOW for a prescription. If it doesn't get treated effectively within a few weeks, it CAN cross the placenta and affect the baby.
• Bro/SIL: No reason to tell them you weren't trying and weren't ready for a baby. That's TMI, IMO. No reason to tell them before you're sure, either. I'd think that, especially as they're still healing from a very recent loss, you could even wait until  you saw a heartbeat -- so long as you don't share the info with anyone else either (except DH, of course).
• 17 days after your period started would be only 8 or 9 DPO, at best. Of course the line is faint (if it is indeed a line). Very unlikely that the June 18 period was implantation bleeding, because that would mean you got only a very faint line 25 or more DPO. It did happen to me once that I got a BFN 22 DPO and a BFP 28 DPO, but I was breastfeeding quite a bit which dilutes the HCG in the urine. I know my third and fourth pregnancies I bloated what seemed a lot faster than the first two, so I wouldn't go by that either.
• Oral surgery: confirm pregnancy and then talk to the surgeon and ob about options. It could be they can do it with local anesthetic. Your decision, of course, about whether it's worth the extra pain or if you'd rather wait another 8 months; the way you phrased it didn't sound like an emergency.

[lifeintheslowlane]

Thanks so much for responding.

So my pregnancy test this a.m. came out negative?

Now I am wondering if the bloating/bladder pressure is all in my head? 

So confused....

Still going Friday to get a Lyme check...

Thanks for your info...