Caly - I'm sorry you're going through the flippityflip of an especially trying TTC 2WW mind. Did you get through work? I think POAS before DH leaves is kind of required…at least I know I'd have no shame in it. Are evap lines really that common? Was last month your first one? In any case...
I found some for ya. Mind if I have a glass with ya?
Rosie, you're the best! 
Please, help yourself. I made it through work. My boss (who is terrific) let me leave early so I could go out to dinner with DH. My test this morning looked exactly like last month's, and since the line didn't show up within the time limit, I'm assuming it's another evap. I really should stop looking at my tests after the time limit, but it's hard to resist. I found out about my first pregnancy when I happened to glance at a discarded test that "turned positive" several hours after I used it. Are you planning to test soon?
I'm feeling really premenstrual. Wouldn't be surprised if AF showed up early.
My temp went back up this morning, which looking back over past cycles, can still lead to menstruation tomorrow. Caly- I never get evaporation lines (I checked several sticks out my trash, and I looked at this morning's stick many times to see if an evap line would develop, nope). Maybe you are higher in a hormone that reacts slowly on the stick than I am? Or maybe you are using different sticks? I use the Amazon cheap ones. Rosie, I have to wait two months to see the specialist because my doctor recommended I go to one particular clinic, and then looking on local forums afterwards it turns out it is one of the most popular fertility clinics in my city. My doctor and the forums think this clinic is great, so hopefully they are worth the wait! The two months is just the wait time to get an appointment there. This month is being exceptionally hard on me- not sure if it's because it is cycle 12 of trying, or because my husband is away this week, or because work is SO BORING right now I have very little to entertain my mind. Blech. Keep the hope alive, Caly and Rosie! We're still in it, until we're not :).
DH left at 5 AM. BFN at 5:30. I'm also spotting. 
Mole, glad your temp went up. I'm holding out hope for you and Rosie. 
I'm so sorry, Caly. Hugs to you. Is your husband working at Toolik? When does he get home?
Caly - It's probably the most healthy thing to assume it's an evap. But I'd make sure to note it in your chart. You've had two in a row, and a loss last year...seems like facts that your RE should know about next week? When are you expecting AF? I'm glad your awesome boss gave you some extra time with DH.
mole - Ah, I guess the wait makes sense then. I keep hoping that my relationship with the RE will be really short, so it won't matter if she's nice and caring, or bitchy and cold. Regardless, her success rates are good and the clinic is a national leader, so their technical prowess is assured.
Do any of you ever think about endo? Recently DH and I DTD and it was a bit painful. A couple other little signs make me think "could I have an endo issue?" The sucky thing about mild possible endo symptoms is that pretty much the only diagnosis and treatment options are a laparoscopy, which definitely has risks and probably is too expensive for this year anyway.
Caly, I thought about testing this morning because I'm going to drop off DH's SA w/IUI prep soon, and I thought "why do that if I'm pregnant?" But then I kinda came to my senses and back to my position that..."I'm not going to get pregnant spontaneously, so stop hoping or acting like it's possible." 
Sounds dire but regardless of the validity or soundness of this conclusion, I think it's going to be healthiest for me. I'm just sitting back waiting for that particular GI-related harbinger of AF I mentioned last cycle. 
I bawled my eyes out yesterday, and it made me think AF must be almost here. The friend who adopted my kitty last year had to re-home him because his girlfriend and kitty can't cohabitate. He found a new home for kitty and gave him away without telling me. After arguing a while he apologized and I just started weeping and then bawling...I fought with a good friend and I missed my kitty so much! But it was a lot more crying that I would have expected. I love my kitty, but not as much as this girl: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTTwcCVajAc
Edit: You guys sneak-posted while I was typing. Caly - 
I just wanted to send some hugs out to everyone. (Especially Caly this morning)
It seems like it's been a rough week (or longer) for a lot of people. Just know I think of y'all often, and am seriously cheering for some BFPs soon (like, for all of you). Lots of love, and Boone's Farm for everyone!
Hi All!
Fiiiiinally I was able to read through all the posts.
To start from the beginning,
Pitchounette- LOVE the quote. :)
Caly- you and I appear to be on about the same wavelength as we both started TTC in March 2010 and sadly had miscarriages within a month of eachother. Maybe we'll get lucky at the same time!
KellenJane- Good to see another fellow newbie.
I lost track of who it was, but that was funny about falling asleep with the thermometer in your mouth and waking up to your puppy licking your face- too cute.
Lilacvioletiris- I'm a firm believer in the power of positive thinking (The Secret book) and believe your idea of making clothes to prepare just might bring a baby your way. It worked in me finding my hubby (although I used a different method).
RosieL- You're too funny (your new conception plan). Let me know how it works- I'm willing to try almost anything.
So after getting a D&C in June 2010 with my miscarriage, I find out yesterday the details of the chromosomal analysis. I new there was a trisomy as my doc had called after procedure, but yesterday when we went to an OB to discuss pregnancy difficulties (I finally decided to get medical help) my hubby and I I found out we lost a GIRL is our miscarriage. Oddly- I'm sooooo happy to know that. It personalized the loss more and gave us a little bit of closure. We named her last night- Anahita Sura (Ardvi Anahita Sura is the angel of fertility, so I thought it fit and she could help us achieve a successful pregnancy). Also, we found out she had a Trisomy 15, which is apparently extremely rare (can lead to death, Angelman's Syndrome, or Prader-Willi Syndrome). Luckily, my body knew what to do- learned, though, that it increases our chances for another trisomy in the future, but we'll keep our fingers crossed.
My doc said I clearly ovulate as I achieved a pregnancy; however, he ran a bunch of bloodwork to see if I have any issues and plans to do an ultrasound, among other things. He mentioned he could start me on Clomid, too, after getting bloodwork back. I LOVE MY DOC!
Jessimaca – Don’t forget the children of the pregnant women! Definitely crazy.
Chap – That would be an awesome filter for FB! I am however nosy and would look anyway to torture myself. And obsessing – that just happens when TTC.
Mole – It is hard. And being patient also makes it harder.
RosieL – I know. It just depends which nurse you get. They aren’t all bad. But I agree – the ones that are completely insensitive, considering where they work – it boggles the mind! Its incredibly slow getting things started with an RE. I think I went in for CD3 stuff and didn’t get started for awhile. (So hard when you’ve already waited for a year!) Rant on sister! (On the endo – no I haven’t thought about it. RE would mention it right?) As far as the bawling – I think when you have TTC on the brain sensitivity to everything is inevitable. But that would upset me as well...its hard giving a pet up and then finding out they aren't where you entrusted them to be (understandable).
Caly –
Erin – Glad to hear your doc is awesome. (And that you were able to get some closure.)
ValH – Sending 
right back!
Ugh, last night I had a sore throat, body aches, and was very tired. I slept for 1.25 hours whiel my DH was at math class. Got up for an hour but still felt sick. This morning not much better, but had some teaching stuff to do for summer school (it has been fun, but maybe I shouldn't have done it from a stress stand point). Still feeling icky this afternoon. My principal called me about a real job, real school issue he needed help with and he remarked I didn't sound like myself. Yeah, I am sick. "Oh, you could be pregnant." No, unfortunately I know I am not. He knows I am trying because I went in last spring to ask about maternity leave rules and the like (I didn't want to get pregnant too early and have to go back to teaching that school year). Most of my coworkers know my DH and I planned to wait a year to start trying to have kids. Time is moving on. Think I will go take a nap.
Funny thing is, last month, about the same calendar day I had the same "I am sick feeling", although this month it is worse. Hum.
.
You inspire us that, yes, it can happen for us too!
Birdie, you are always welcome here! Please don't be afraid to post. You too, Val. I know what each of you went through when you were TTC, and I love seeing your tickers!
Thanks for the support, everyone. 
I've just had a crappy couple of days. I'll try to be more upbeat from now on.
Mole, yup, he's on his way back to Toolik to commune with the arctic soil 
. He'll be back September 9. I sometimes feel guilty for getting so upset when he leaves - there are so many couples who endure much longer separations.
Rosie, I understand why you don't want to test. If the doctor finds anything concrete when we start infertility testing, I'll probably be the same way. Honestly, I think it would be a relief. We've been TTC for 17 months now, and I'm worn out. I wish we had taken care of DH's SA while he was home. I felt weird about asking for an order from a doctor with whom I have no established relationship. Stupid, I know. When is your IUI appointment?
Erin, here's hoping! I'm glad to hear you've had a good experience with your doctor. I really hope the doctor I'm seeing on Monday will be that proactive! I think it's wonderful that you were able to find out the sex of the baby you lost. I love the name you chose.
Lilac, I find comments like that really irritating. We haven't told many people that we're TTC, but I do have one friend who suggests I might be pregnant every time I talk to her. I think she's trying to be supportive, but it's obnoxious. Seriously, when I'm pregnant, I'll know. Nobody will need to remind me that it's a possibility!
Caly - The sample yesterday is for a sperm analysis with an IUI prep. Meaning they do everything (wash) they would do for an IUI, then check whether the numbers are good. If they are, we're a good IUI candidate. If they're not, we're not. It's most likely we're not, but the doc says the wash can sometimes separate out abnormal sperms. I sometimes hope that it comes back bad, because if they tell me we're a good IUI candidate I will be sorely tempted to try it out of our own pocket instead of being patient for new insurance. In fact, I'll probably not be able to resist and out-of-pocket IUI even though we REALLY should save up our money. It's $1600 per cycle (full monitoring, ovulation trigger, etc.). I guess it might be worth it to try one cycle if I could time it to be a June due date. That would be pretty much perfect timing because I might be able to finish comps then have two months off.
I'll stop my conjectures and rambling.
Birdie (and Val, and hokie, and other graduates), I love it when you guys stop by. (And I lurk in your graduates thread!) I'm not at a point where I begrudge others their BFPs, and I especially like to hear about BJ ladies's BFPs, pregnancies, and eventually births!!! I go in to the BSL thread all the time looking for BFPs…and I celebrate with them lurker-style.
Lilac - Sorry you're feeling sick. :(
Turned off the fan in our bedroom last night and my throat wasn't so bad this morning. DH and I got some new furnace/AC air filters so hopefully dust hasn't been causing my nose to run, which gives me a sore throat, which gives me all sorts of other nonsense in the body aches and pains department.
So far I am liking the "Making Babies" book. Yeah there are things I know since I already track my BBT, but there are other things, like I should avoid soy (I am a vegetarian) because it may be messing up my reproductive system. Check out the website http://www.makingbabiesprogram.com/ and there is a link called "Your Fertility Type?" that was useful. As I was reading through the book, I thought I was in the "Tired" and "Stuck" categories. When I took the little question and answer thing online, those were exactly the types that came up. It gave a couple things to focus on and some supplements to try. I just don't want such a painful period next month, if I don't get pregnant, because quite frankly it would nearly put me over the top in the work stress department.
My sister who is also in her thirties called last night. She has been trying for a couple years and hasn't gotten pregnant yet. She had a hystogram (spelling), actually twice because the first time something went wrong and they had to do it again. She said it was so painful. She also said that her husband's SA came back with 4 points below normal on the motility scale. She was also concerned that his overindulging in alcohol could have an affect on that. From the Making Babies book, avoiding alcohol, for the man, can have positive effects on sperm motility. My husband and I don't drink alcohol (so the Boone's Farm can be enjoyed by others), but my brother-in-law likes to drink to get drunk. Not good.
Well, I said I'd be back with updates, so here I am, with nothing too interesting to update except that I am having a very weird cycle but am totally convinced I'm not pregnant. Today is 12dpo, temp was still up at 98.24 and I slept terribly last night (this in itself is unusual). Also, yesterday, somewhat out of the blue I had two major crying bouts (felt like my PhD thesis is crap and there's no way I'm going to finish it to my satisfaction, will get a bad score on the exam, etc...). I haven't cried like that for a very long time and I don't know if it was hormonally related or just a long-needed release of stress that's been building up for a while, probably a combination of the two. Maybe I'm just having a bad case of PMS, because I don't feel physically different to how I normally am at this point in my cycle. But why does FF give me 64 points on the pregnancy estimator? This is all soooo annoying and distracting me from what I really need to be doing now!
I really wanted to POAS yesterday but I don't have any tests, so I will just have to wait and see. I'm 99% sure AF will show up today, on time. It's morning now and she normally makes her appearance in the evening so I have all day to wait - yay! 
Today is Saturday and I'm back at the desk for another day of writing, while DH and friends are out on a lovely hike in the hills, through the snow, on a beautiful sunny day. I can't wait for September when I will finally be free of this thesis!
Best of luck to everyone with feeling better, with fertility testing and making decisions assisted conception, and of course with dealing with this ridiculous rollercoaster of emotions!
Stopping by with some 
for all of you to let you know I am still lurking and thinking of you girls. Oh and here is a weird green guy in a toilet 
because I have never seen him used before and I think it's funny. Why would someone use him?
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