Caly~ Sounds like you've tried everything I would have tried! I actually went to a UU church when I was feeling really lonely too . I think that's a really good idea because depending on the size of it, they usually have different groups you could join where you might have more time to mingle and get to know people. It's so hard, I think, to make friends when your a "grown up" At least you can always hop on the forums and chat too!
Don't "July" TTC in our 30s can be fun with Bajingo Juice - July 2011 Thread - Page 9
Jessimaca - It's definitely harder when you're a grown up! The last time I moved, it was to go to graduate school. That came with a built-in social life. I'm a little shy, so that doesn't help matters.
I asked one of my college friends (she's a SAHM now) how she met people when she moved across the country. She said she was basically friendless for a year but that she met a lot of other parents once her son started kindergarten. Unfortunately, that's not a strategy I can use.
Sorry for the lack of posts and personals guys! I've been out trying to enjoy this summer before I go back to a different teaching assignment on 8/3!
Boots! You crack me up these days! Thank you for your snide and witty comments. You are sooo right. Another teacher friend just told me that she's pregnant again.
Caly, it's okay to be sad. When stuff happens around me that hurts my feelings I cry like a baby, too, and I think it's all the fertility stuff coming out at once.
I love you all and I am right there with you. 24 months of no BC and no appt for saline hystogram thing until Aug 30 and just floating around here. We are both taking herbs and I am getting acupuncture still.
I you all.
We just DTD on CD12, 13, 14, 15 with O on 15 according to GSB. Whatever. That's all I gotta say.
Actually, no. I'm actually very but I don't want to even voice it.
New to this thread. We've been "unofficially" TTC since last August - just decided to "officially" TTC after the events of the past month. Cycle went all crazy - spotting but no official AF at the end of June, nothing for weeks but only 1 line when testing - still thought maybe since there was all kinds of assorted craziness going on with my body, but figured not too likely at the end of last week. AF came & was TICKED. Anyway.... I'm 31, and despite the quotation marks I'd say that 08/10 is when we started TTC (it's only unofficial to DF). Glad I found this thread!
Cath, missed you! How are those foster kitties? When do you guys go back? How's your job assignment looking for next year, any news on grade level? I am freaking out a bit right now. My school year officially starts in 8 hours. I am also going to meet our new math teacher and my student teacher tomorrow, yikes. Then one more week and the kids are back.
Caly, I totes PM'd ya. ;)
Rosie, tell us more, for crying out loud!
AT CD21 out of probably around 30, usual O around CD19, we did our last official try of the month tonight. I didn't even use any OPKs, too lazy and blah.
Okay, edited to add one more thing. We got huz some maca this weekend. Car needed a new battery right outside the herb store, so we got it to thank them for using their AC. Here's what the back says (amazing!) Creation's Garden brand:
"According to historical data, ancient Incan warriors took maca before going off to battle to make them physically strong. However, they were later prohibited from taking it in order to protect conquered women from their heightened libidos."
Lee'sGirl, I added you to the list at the beginning of the thread. Do you track your BBT on a chart? I can add a link to that if you do. Welcome Welcome!
Wow, Boots, you start pre-school work assignments today and next week is kids! Have fun meeting the new teachers.
Catheleni, hope your excellent DTD stats lead to the desired end. Prayers sent up for you.
Cathe - Miss you lady! Sounds like your chances this month are awesome. :)
Caly - Unfortunately I don't know what to tell ya. When I was single looking for people to hang out with, I played a lot of billiards. But I've only ever found close friends in my adulthood during work, and through the internets. We're active in a car club and I've developed great friendships…but it's SO hard because they're all over the country. This is why I have so many houseguests. Choir sounds like a good thing. Have you been running? Maybe check out to see if there are any road runner clubs around. I found an exception to my "only from work" comment above: I became dear dear friends with one of my biking buddies while training for an AIDSRide in 2001.
Hi Lee'sGirl! Welcome to the thread. Sorry you had a rough cycle. I had something similar the second cycle we tried AF was a week late, no spotting, no double lines, and I was so so frustrated. And don't worry, we ramble lots in this thread. At least I do. Until I get booted out!
Boots - LOL@macalore! And "DTD stats" too. Here's a peek inside my silly, silly mind: I was battling my brain on Saturday: "I haven't felt any PMS, no symptoms at all, no spotting, and my LP this cycle is as long as any other. Huh…I could be pregnant. Do I test now, when FF tells me to, and be disappointed while my friends and their amazing babygirls are here? Do I wait until my Birthday on Tuesday? If I wait till Tuesday, AF will be 4-6 days late and if I get a BFN I'll be devastated. OMG these babygirls are so amazing, I want one and I'm just going to go POAS."
I left the room kinda suddenly, POAS with FMU (fifth morning urine), convinced myself to leave the room, turned back before I got out the door, and the pretty dark second line was there within 30 seconds. I called DH in, pointed at the test, he asked "what is that?" I said "I'm pregnant silly" and he cried and held me for forever, and wouldn't let me go. I asked if he was ready for this and he said "No but I have nine months to get ready."
And now he won't let me tell anyone! He's really scared of miscarriage, I guess. He said "don't 1 in 3 pregnancies end in miscarriage?" I told him there are varying stats. "I don't want to get attached to it and then lose it." This is interesting…because he's usually the optimist. In any case, we're trying to figure out what I can and can't eat or drink. My mom's away for two weeks and I can't tell her while she's away (she's with family and can't keep her mouth shut!). So we're waiting two weeks then telling both sets of parents. SIL's wedding is four weeks away, so everyone in his family will know at that point (since everyone knows we're trying and everyone will watch to see if I'm drinking). My brother is taking me out to dinner tonight (just the two of us) and I'll tell him, because he's discreet and because he'll be confused at me not having wine at my birthday dinner. I'm going to get all gussied-up…I'm so excited! The place is really nice. Let's just hope they don't offer me tartare (which I LOVE); it's a tasting menu so I might have to refuse a couple things. :( This food restrictions thing will be difficult for me for a while, I think. I don't feel pregnant at all, aside from peeing every half a second, and constantly feeling dehydrated (could be the 100 degree weather, but I'm drinking ridiculous amounts of water.)
I didn't want to gush but man Boots, you opened a floodgate didn't ya? I can't tell you how much I want you guys to join me. I was suddenly so sure on Saturday afternoon that Caly and Chap would be joining me in the April DDC. I want to see all of you SOON in the graduates thread. I'm not ready to leave…but I definitely won't want to make this thread uncomfortable for anyone.
See Lee'sGirl, I told ya I ramble!
Boots, have a wonderful first day! May your students be smart and hard-working, and your colleagues pleasant and helpful all year!
Rosie - CONGRATS!!! And after all that talk about how it wasn't going to happen naturally. I'm so happy for you and DH!
Caly - I'm not sure how your doctor's appointment will go, but I can tell you when I had my first "infertility" appointment, it was pretty simple. I just told him I had been TTC for a year, and I explained the issues I had (the spotting before my period). He asked how I knew I ovulation, I explained I was using OPKs and temping. My situation was a little different, since I had a specific identifiable issue (the spotting)... so he went ahead and prescribed Clomid for me since he thought my O wasn't strong enough, ordered some blood work (I think both per and post O), and set up the HSG. Hopefully your appointment will go as smoothly, and you'll have a plan of action afterwards.
KJ - I think you were the one that asked about being monitored on Clomid... I think there are several ways to be monitored. One is by having an U/S to see the follicles. The other is to have blood work done at what you believe is post-O to see if your hormone levels are right. I just had the bloodwork monitoring, and only during the first month. Once the doc was sure I was O-ing as I should on the Clomid, the "monitoring" stopped. Yay for the positive OPK for you!
Okay, I had more I wanted to say, but I need to go bake a cake for DH's birthday.
Rosie, you brought a tear to my eye. Sweet story of the mind games you played and its positive result for you. Hopefully in 3 weeks I will get to join you in the April 2012 due date club! This cycle has been so "high temps" this month. Maybe my ovaries and pituitary gland are getting their hormones all worked out! Just waiting to O now. Probably not until next week though. No EWCM yet but definitely on the lookout.
I am so not interested in food today. I am hungry but nothing in the fridge or cupboard looks interesting.
Just got back from the doctor's office. After waiting two months for this appointment, I was basically told to be patient and that I'll get pregnant eventually.
The doctor was nice enough. She was very encouraged by the fact that I conceived once before, even though it's been more than a year since I lost that pregnancy. I told her what I learned from charting. She said it seems pretty clear than I'm ovulating (duh) and ordered a mid-luteal phase blood draw to check my progesterone levels since my LP tends to be on the short side. There was no discussion of any additional testing. She didn't mention anything about an SA (I guess she's assuming DH is a "proven male" and that my first pregnancy wasn't a fluke). She told me that it takes 30% of women age 30-35 more than a year to conceive. Then she sent me on my way.
So, I'll go in for labs on CD23. If my progesterone levels are normal, then what? I know that most couples *will* eventually conceive, but how long am I supposed to wait? Two years? Three? When do I throw in the towel and see an RE?
I feel worse now than I did before.
Edited by Calycanth - 7/25/11 at 5:37pm
Rosie, CONGRATS!!! I left the thread for a few days and come back to great news!!
It took me a while but I read through every single post... hello to the newbies! Everyone else---lilac, caly, cath, boots, chap, jessie, and anyone I missed---Hey! Missed you guys.
The past week or two has been wrought with soul-searching and of internal debate. My last cycle marked our 6-month mark of TTC. My chart was so textbook and we timed our BD just right that I was positive we'd hit the mark that time. When it didn't happen, the wind really left my sails. I felt like a failure. This battle to conceive has broken my spirit. I moped around, did a lot of reading and research, and talked with DH about our options. At this point, we are not opting for medical intervention. (A fertility specialist would be our next step.) Physically, I am perfectly healthy. I went to the dr and had my thyroid levels checked (my sister and my dad both have bigtime thyroid problems) and everything was normal.
So.... I have an appointment on Friday with a Hypnofertility specialist. Her partner at the clinic is a chiropractor and nutrition expert, and they have lots of success stories with couples achieving pregnancy after just one or two visits. I really don't know what the session will entail---I've never been hypnotized, ever. However, I read through the philosophy on hypnofertility and it made sense to me. I've written here before that I often worry about having a baby and how it will affect our life...not that I don't want a child (I DO!!!)...but I tend to focus on the "what if's??!" and I'm not very zen about it. I hope this doctor will give me some practical tips for making way for a baby in my thoughts and not just in my womb. I also struggle with fatigue and I'm hoping to get some help with that, too.
I'm not telling anyone (except my friends here) about our appointment. I just can't handle the negative comments and snickering that would probably happen. Otherwise, I'm just trying to enjoy the last remaining days of summer break and focus on the good things in my life. Love you all!
Caly - I'm sorry your appointment was all you expected it to be. That does suck after all the waiting. If I were you, I would wait to see what the blood work shows. If it doesn't show anything, I'd discuss with the doctor that you aren't comfortable "just waiting" and ask her if there are any other tests that can be done. If you don't get a satisfactory answer from her, I'd either ask for a referral to a RE, or search one out on your own. I'm not a big fan of the passive "wait and see" doctors... I saw two of those before I found my proactive doc on the third try.
Thanks Val. I was just expecting something more thorough, you know? Conventional wisdom says try for a year, then get help. I did that and was basically told to keep trying indefinitely. I'm at my wit's end. Maybe I'll go back to my midwife. At least she took my concerns about infertility seriously.
Caly - I am not a doctor, but I don't like that doctor's approach. :( Fertility diagnosis is rarely black or white; it's about odds, and at this point your doctor should not simply be telling you to continue "playing" those odds. It's so hard for me to hear that she didn't order an SA. It's such a simple test, is really cheap, and 50% of fertility problems are male factor or combined. If I were in your position, I'd find an RE. If you need a referral, I'd ask the doc for one after the progesterone test (regardless of the results). My RE knew of tests and possibilities that my OB (whom I love) had no clue about.
Seeing a RE isn't throwing in the towel, IMHO, it's deciding you want to do some more testing and consider getting assistance. It's the same thing you decided when scheduling the appointment with an OB; I don't see a difference. My diagnosis style is aggressive, though. Information-gathering is one step, interventions are another. They don't have to go hand-in-hand. In my case, I wanted to KNOW what was possible even if we couldn't do anything about it immediately. Maybe my approach backfired, but I'd do it again.
The one year mark is not just conventional wisdom it's a standardized medical definition. I'm now getting vary curious about the studies that established this standard, because it wasn't always this way. Maybe it's a US standard alone. hmmm (Oh, and the infertility clock doesn't "reset" when you have a miscarriage...you have just as much right to treatment and diagnosis as anyone else. I'm frustrated on your behalf!)
pitchou - thanks for the congrats. :) I've not heard of hypnofertility before. Sounds interesting, since so much of our metal state contributes to our fertility. I would very much like to hear about how the appointment goes.
My brother took me to dinner tonight for my birthday. I told him about the BFP, and he was super excited. Then he told me he broke up with his girlfriend. I really thought she was gonna be my SIL someday. So sad for him. It was a really good, bonding family dinner, though, just me and my bro. I <3 him so much.
Caly - I also agree with Rosie about not ordering the SA... that does seem a bit ridiculous. I had forgotten, but that was also something my doc did at my first visit. I never could get DH to do it (he had planned to do it the cycle after I got pregnant), but we had the order ready and waiting for us. It's probably the easiest test they can do. The more I think about it, the more angry I get for you! Is the MW you went to able to do fertility testing? Or is there a RE in the area you could get in to see? You deserve better treatment than you received.
Caly~ That must have been so disheartening! To wait that long and get a wait and see kind of approach. I would just demand the tests you want or find another doctor. As a nurse, I see terrible practice all the time and I've learned you have to be an advocate for your own healthcare. You really need to know what to ask for in any area of medicine I've found, so just ask for it and if they don't agree, find a new doctor. It's their job-- your paying their salary!
Pitch~ I feel for you . Please don't blame yourself or tell yourself things like that. If you had a best-friend going through this struggle, you wouldn't say those things to her. You deserve some extra lovin' right now! Do some really nice things just for you!
Rose~ I really enjoyed reading your post! So exciting! It's neat to hear the details so I can daydream about how I'll feel when that happens to me (I am always working on phrasing things in the positive not always so good at that).
I have a question for everyone~ what kind of lifestyle changes did/do you make while TTC? Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough and sometimes I feel like I'm doing too much. Maternal child health is my passion and my speciality (in my career life) and I've worked with pregnant women for a long time so I feel like I have a good base of knowledge. Here are some things I've done and I just would like to hear what others are doing... My weight is in a healthy BMI, I gave up caffeinated drinks, I only drink a little alcohol if I have my AF, I exercise moderately (low impact cardio, some weights, yoga), I take a prenatal, etc. Then I see my clients do terrible things to their bodies and get pregnant or have a one-night stand and get pregnant or drink coffee their whole pregnancy or worse... So, it's like does anything make a difference?