When are you planning on telling your children? - Page 2

[lilkat]

Originally Posted by mamathomas 

We told our 27-month-old DD right after we got our BFP.  We want to be open and honest with her throughout the whole pregnancy (on a level that she can understand) and for her to be involved every step of the way.  She went with me to my first appointment with my midwife yesterday and she will be coming to all of the other appointments too.   We are planning a home birth and she will be in the house with us; of course she will have the option to leave the room at any point or stay with us, totally up to her.  If we did experience a pregnancy loss, we would explain things as best as we could to her.  She is a very intuitive little lady and would know something is up; I don't want to try to hide anything from her. 

I also still breastfeed DD and have already noticed a change in my supply and it is becoming increasingly uncomfortable when she nurses.  Also trying to explain that as best as I can and hoping that if weaning is in our future, either on her part or mine, that by being honest with her it might help facilitate a more gentle experience for both of us.   

 Besides, if I'm as sick with this baby as I was with DD in my first trimester, there will definitely be no hiding anything from her!!!

This sounds a lot like us! I'm working on my doula certification, too, and we talk about birth and babies a LOT around here, so Renny already knows a lot. She knows that babies grow in their mamas' wombs, and she's seen me use my Diva cup and all. We've even talked about a baby sibling, and just the other day she told me that Daddy should go find me a seed so I could grow a baby sister in my womb.  So I'm going to tell her this weekend, once I've A) officially missed a period and B) have more time to really talk to her about it. I'm going to emphasize that it's just a little seed right now, so that if I MC, I can tell her that the seed just didn't grow, and we'll try again. I'm planning a homebirth, too, so Ren will definitely be around for all my prenatals and the birth, too, if she wants.

[cameragirl]

We told our almost 5 year old DD today. She had the biggest grin. We got confirmation with a viability scan, and I showed her the pictures and just how tiny the baby is. I think she had a clue something was up, because she had been asking the past two weeks if "God decided to give me a baby soon."

[Harmony96]

We told DD yesterday.  She came up to me and put both her hands on my tummy and said, "Wow!  That's so cool!"  Then she gave me a hug, lol.  

Then this morning, she ran into DH in the kitchen and said, "Did you know Mommy has a baby in her tummy today?"  :D  lol

[Frenchie2]

We told our 7 yo and 3 yo on Friday night.  My 7 yo was over the moon about it and has not been able to stop talking about it.  I want to thank you Lilkat for the seed idea.  Since I am only 6 weeks, I told my DS that sometimes the seed doesn't grow just like our veggies seeds that didn't grow in our garden and that is why we don't want a lot of people knowing.  He is so geeked and keeps looking at my belly and saying, 'I can't believe we are going to have another baby!'  My 3 yo is not as aware of what is going on and I think he will understand more when my belly starts getting bigger and we start doing more planning with getting clothes out and organizing everything for the babe.

[cygknit]

I wasn't planning on telling mine anytime soon. At 4 and 2 they are too young to keep it quiet (or be expected to) and I want to wait until September to tell people IRL. Yesterday, we were all at Target and walking through the baby aisle (our T is newly redone and I can't find anything!) and SO asked if we needed anything for this one. My 4 yo said, "we need THIS for our baby!" I was a little surprised! We hadn't been talking about it around him, but I guess he just knows.

Oh, and for the morning sickness mamas, he was 15 mo old when I got pg w/his little brother. He used to accompany me into the bathroom and pretend vomit right along with me. "Look mama! {sound effect}!"

[Brisen]

 

Originally Posted by cygknit 

Oh, and for the morning sickness mamas, he was 15 mo old when I got pg w/his little brother. He used to accompany me into the bathroom and pretend vomit right along with me. "Look mama! {sound effect}!"

We wait until at least 3 months to tell anyone, including the kids.  Partly because I've miscarried before and I prefer to keep that private, but also because they're impatient enough through the last 6 months -- it's a long time to wait for a little kid!

[thegalawayhouse]

Dh and I have decided to wait till the kids notice my tummy getting bigger.  I say it will only be a month or so before that happens.  This will be baby #7 so I'm sure I'll start popping out sooner than later.  I'm terribly impatient tho, so waiting is driving me nuts!

[Toposlonoshlep]

Yes, same here, except I have 28 month old DS. DP and I told him right away and he totally gets it. He knows I have been exhausted and nauseous, and he is so caring. He keeps asking if my belly hurts, telling me things he wants to teach the baby, and before he nurses he always asks "just a little bit? Just to ten? Please?" (We count to ten on each side for shorter nursing sessions). He is very gentle. 

Originally Posted by mamathomas 

We told our 27-month-old DD right after we got our BFP.  We want to be open and honest with her throughout the whole pregnancy (on a level that she can understand) and for her to be involved every step of the way.  She went with me to my first appointment with my midwife yesterday and she will be coming to all of the other appointments too.   We are planning a home birth and she will be in the house with us; of course she will have the option to leave the room at any point or stay with us, totally up to her.  If we did experience a pregnancy loss, we would explain things as best as we could to her.  She is a very intuitive little lady and would know something is up; I don't want to try to hide anything from her. 

I also still breastfeed DD and have already noticed a change in my supply and it is becoming increasingly uncomfortable when she nurses.  Also trying to explain that as best as I can and hoping that if weaning is in our future, either on her part or mine, that by being honest with her it might help facilitate a more gentle experience for both of us.   

 Besides, if I'm as sick with this baby as I was with DD in my first trimester, there will definitely be no hiding anything from her!!!

[JunebugsMom]

Well I have a NT ultrasound at 12 weeks so I guess we will probably tell the kids (and everyone else) if everything goes ok with that. 

[RachaelsMommy]

Originally Posted by mamathomas 

We told our 27-month-old DD right after we got our BFP.  We want to be open and honest with her throughout the whole pregnancy (on a level that she can understand) and for her to be involved every step of the way.  She went with me to my first appointment with my midwife yesterday and she will be coming to all of the other appointments too.   We are planning a home birth and she will be in the house with us; of course she will have the option to leave the room at any point or stay with us, totally up to her.  If we did experience a pregnancy loss, we would explain things as best as we could to her.  She is a very intuitive little lady and would know something is up; I don't want to try to hide anything from her. 

I also still breastfeed DD and have already noticed a change in my supply and it is becoming increasingly uncomfortable when she nurses.  Also trying to explain that as best as I can and hoping that if weaning is in our future, either on her part or mine, that by being honest with her it might help facilitate a more gentle experience for both of us.   

 Besides, if I'm as sick with this baby as I was with DD in my first trimester, there will definitely be no hiding anything from her!!!

I feel the same way. I told my kids they day after I found out. They are 4.5 and 2. I had thought about waiting, b/c I've had 3 m/c's. I decided if I waited to tell DD, then I'd wait to tell everybody, b/c I thought she should be the first to know. After some thought though, I realized there is never a "safe" time to tell them. Death is a part of life, and they have to deal with it sooner or later. I just felt like if I didn't tell her, then I m/c-ed, then she'd never know she had a brother or sister. Plus I'd be crying so she'd know something was wrong and I'd have to tell her anyway.

 

[BirthFree]

We won't tell out kids until we tell my parents, because once our little ones know, they won't be able to keep it a secret. So we plan to tell them sometime next week or early the following one. I honestly can't wait to tell them.

[StacieM]

I will have to tell them soon.  I think my oldest is figuring it out.  She let me take a nap today when we got home from the park and told her younger siblings to leave me alone and also made sure they did their chores on top of that.  So I think she kind of has an idea already.  Won't be able to keep it a secret much longer, I just really want to get a positive u/s first which I can do in about 10 days.

[SandiW]

This should be interesting.  We get to tell our children, who are my husbands from a past marriage, whose mother is a bitter ex-wife.  I just found out that he had mentioned to her that I miscarried last year, and she had a very nasty comment to him about this.  (I did let him know I was not happy that he shared this with her as it was NONE OF HER @#$@ BUSINESS...) Now, I feel we should tell HER first so that the kids don't take the brunt of her bitterness towards their new twin siblings.  I'm guess, since I'm 11 weeks and starting to get a little pudgy around the middle, this talk is coming up sooner than later!  The kids will wonder why I'm "getting fat".  I would very much prefer to share this joyful news with them first, as I'm sure they will be SO excited.. but I have this dark shadow of an ex-wife-in-law in the corner, scowling at everything we do.  (For the record, she asked HIM for the divorce, and they were separated for 3 years before the divorce.  Women are perplexing creatures at times )

[justKate]

DD is 2.5 now, and will be 3 when baby arrives.  I don't plan to tell her for quite a while--I don't think she would get it anyway.  Maybe 20+ weeks?