Doctor Appt Question, re: Retracting

[Nikitta34]

DS is almost 4 months old and is intact. I know not to ever let anyone forcibly retract him, but his pediatrician gently pulled the foreskin back, not revealing the glans at all. She definitely didn't retract him, just pulled the foreskin back to the point where it stopped on it's own, and I should stress that she did it very carefully and gently. DS didn't seem to be in any pain at all. My question is, is this okay to do? Or should I tell her to not touch his little penis at all?

My second question is, what if he has a messy EBF poop and it's all over his penis? Is it okay to very gently pull the foreskin back (to the point where it stops on its own) to get all the poop cleaned off? I've been doing this, but DS had a little redness at the tip afterwards, and I wasn't sure if it's better to leave it alone or get all the poop off. I'm, of course, leaning towards getting the poop off. Ick.

Thanks in advance.

[WaitingForKiddos]

I'd wonder why the doctor wanted/needed to mess with his penis at all. I dont think it hurt him but I also dont think it's needed and I tend to error on the side of caution when it comes to people touching DS's diaper area....not just for the retraction issue but because I think he's entitled to privacy.

For those messy poops just swish his penis in the bath water. It'll get the poop out of those penis wrinkles just fine. I wouldnt be pulling on it and wiping because, to me, that seems kinda' like wiping off the area under a clitoris hood.....super sensitive to even the gentlest touch.

[Nikitta34]

His ped wanted to check the 'hole' and make sure everything looked okay. She actually just moved to another practice, so we're going to have to see what his new ped is like. I just want to know what is/isn't okay as far as examining DS little 'wee before we get a new doc.

Thanks for the advice!

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

There is nothing under there she needed to see obviously your ds has been urinating since birth with no problems so obviously the urinary opening is fine. What Dr's get confused about is that circed boys often have issues with the urethra trying to close called meteal stenosis and they are taught to check for that what they dont seem to understand is that intact boys will never have this because they where not cut on.

It is better to not let them touch it at all because retraction (the harmful kind) can happen in a heartbeat before you can stop it then you and your ds have to deal with the consequences it is so much easier to avoid it all together than try and fix it after the Dr does damage.

[Nikitta34]

So what do I tell the doc? That I don't want his diaper to even come off? Or that I don't want him to examine his diaper area? What do people normally do?

Thanks for your response!

[WaitingForKiddos]

If/when the doctor asks you to take off his diaper I'd just say 'oh....why?' and see their reply. My ped (foreskin friendly) has the diaper off to check DS's hips and to feel his tummy without messing with getting under the diaper. If they say ANYTHING about looking at his penis just say 'oh, I'd pefer if you didn't'. Then they'll say 'blagh blagh blagh this is why blagh blagh blgh'. You'll say 'oh, I'd prefer you didn't'. No need to get into an argument over it as you're standing on their turf and generally if they dont already know not to mess with a penis they aren't the type who want to be confronted about it at a office visit.

The bottom line is that there's NO reason for the penis to be touched.
 

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I said I dont mind you checking his testicles but please do not touch his penis at all.

[Nikitta34]

THANK YOU both for your replies!! That is just what I wanted: a non-confrontational way to make sure the Ped doesn't try anything. Thanks!!