Aggressive 3 year old

[Thing1Thing2]

DS has times where he gets really aggressive. Today he pushed a little girl at the library and made her cry. He bites, kicks, pushes and hits me and my DH.

The aggression usually starts when he is not getting enough stimulation. He gets very hyper and starts babbling, screaming and biting on his hands.

I've tried everything I know of to help him, but I'm at a total loss here. I'm 32 weeks pregnant and exhausted all the time. I can't physically provide him with entertainment all day long. I have lost patience with him and yelled. I feel terrible.

Has any one else experienced this?

[mamazee]

Aggression is a pretty common stage for toddlers. My little one (2.5) is going through it right now, and my older one briefly went through a similar stage. My little one isn't talking well yet and I think that is making it last longer? The older one was very verbal very early, and she only had a very brief and very mild aggressive stage. You said your ds is babbling so I'm thinking he might also not be speaking that well yet? Sometimes when they speak better, they're better able to talk about how they're feeling and don't feel the need to be aggressive as much. Being upset and not being able to say so and why can be frustrating. What I do is very consistently (and consistency is the key I think) tell her not to hit, and help her give names to her emotions, as I do think that the difficulty with language feeds it. But maybe something like, "No hitting. It's OK to be angry, but you may not hit." Something along those lines anyway.

And he probably is dealing with a lot of big feelings with a new baby coming so soon. He can probably sense how tired you are and can tell something big is coming. It's a scary time, and it'll be a while before he gets past that.

Do you have family nearby who can take him to the park and get his energy run out of him? Or do you have the ability to hire a mother's helper to come by for an hour or two a day to run around outside with him and wear him out? It would give you some nice nap time too, which might help you feel more rested and patient.

Don't blame yourself for him being aggressive or anything though - it's really common, and so long as you don't become aggressive with him so he has it modeled, and so long as you don't act like it's cute or make it a positive thing, he'll outgrow it eventually. The new baby coming is a complicating factor though and I don't know if it'll go away quickly.

OH well now I see this is in the special needs forum, and I didn't see that before. I am completely clueless re special needs and I apologize for anything that is irrelevant!

[Thing1Thing2]

Hi, thanks for the response. It seems funny that he is babbling, but he actually has very good language skills. He has been speaking large sentences since 18 months - and it seems to me like he is advanced in the language area. I have also had comments from people about how good his language skills are. So the babbling just seems wierd to me at this point.

Sometimes I understand the babbling and sometimes I dont. Like for instance, he will replace the first letter of every word in the sentence. He might say "Ga Gow Gumped Gover Ga Goon" instead of "The cow jumped over the moon." I know its strange, but it seems he enjoys to do this. All that said - I'm not sure if the babbling is always "letter replacement" or sometimes just senseless babbling.

I also think you may be correct about the baby coming. Sometimes his hitting is directed straight at my belly - which annoys me the most, because I'm very protective over my belly and it stresses me out when someone violently comes near to it.

I wish I had a little more help, but my family seems very busy lately. Also, we only have one car which my husband uses during the day.

Thank you for the reassurance. I hope he does grow out of it, but it's been almost a year now and Im starting to wonder if he will.

Don't apologize. I'm so glad someone answered this post. I've asked this question before and didn't get any answers. http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1319147/how-do-you-react-to-your-child-who-accidently-hurts-you-all-the-time

This is something that I feel I could really use help with, as my patience is wearing thin and I'm trying to do what's best for my son.

Originally Posted by mamazee 

Aggression is a pretty common stage for toddlers. My little one (2.5) is going through it right now, and my older one briefly went through a similar stage. My little one isn't talking well yet and I think that is making it last longer? The older one was very verbal very early, and she only had a very brief and very mild aggressive stage. You said your ds is babbling so I'm thinking he might also not be speaking that well yet?

Don't blame yourself for him being aggressive or anything though - it's really common, and so long as you don't become aggressive with him so he has it modeled, and so long as you don't act like it's cute or make it a positive thing, he'll outgrow it eventually. The new baby coming is a complicating factor though and I don't know if it'll go away quickly.

 

OH well now I see this is in the special needs forum, and I didn't see that before. I am completely clueless re special needs and I apologize for anything that is irrelevant!

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