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Emotional vent post - say it here!

post #1 of 102
Thread Starter 

On another board I was once apart of, there was a post to put your vents and it was a lot of fun. I thought I would start one here too because I really am an emotional mess. Feel free to add your own vents.


Work has just been crazy lately, and I have a lot of deadlines to meet by Tuesday. I haven't even had a chance to start on a couple of things that are due. And, the dog that we've been waiting to adopt for months is finally going to arrive tomorrow. DH's grandma is getting married out of town tomorrow though, so dh has left for the weekend and I'm on my own to bring a new dog home. Add that to a custody battle for my oldest dd, and I think I might just need a good cry. It's just too much!

post #2 of 102
I really want to be happy about this pregnancy. I really do. We had a miscarriage in May, though. We had tried for 13 months and I was getting ready to get tested for infertility issues, and I was excited to finally be pregnant. I woke up all bloody one day, and it was so terrible. I'm caught between trying to be happy about this, and being sad and scared. My beta tests this week doubled like the should, but I have to wait another week for an ultrasound to confirm that things are looking okay. The only people that know this time are my husband and my doctors. Last time DD (almost 5) knew and it was soo horrible trying to comfort her. I want to share the news, but I just can't right now. I need that confirmation, and so does my husband. It's especially hard because we share a house with my mom, and I'm sure both Mom and my daughter sense something is up. It shouldn't be this hard, you know? With my daughter I was sick the whole time, and now I'm not really sick but I spend my time wondering. praying.gif
post #3 of 102

I am seriously too emotional right now to vent about how emotional I am nut.gif

post #4 of 102

This doesn't really have anything to do with pregnancy but oh well. I was getting frustrated this morning looking for my cell phone and I accidently slammed my finder in a drawer. It hurt so bad and I walked all over the house cursing and yelling scaring my DD's. Now my poor fingernail is black and is still throbbing and hurting like crazy!!! Augh!! It's not been a good day.  gloomy.gif

post #5 of 102

Things have been really looking up for me the past few days. But the past 2 weeks was a huge rollercoaster. My cat died just about 2 weeks ago and I'm still really upset. I feel a lot of guilt over it, for letting her outside. And I had bleeding / slowly progressing tests with this pregnancy so far that really tested my faith. But like I said, things are getting much better. Thank goodness. Because I was headed for meltdown.

post #6 of 102
Thread Starter 

Camera: I can totally understand your worry. I've been cramping all day, and every time I've gone to the bathroom I've checked. This waiting is so hard, but somehow we have to keep anxiety away because that's not good for babies. I'm glad your tests are looking good so far. Good luck with your ultrasound


June: hugs


Flygirl: Ow, seriously, black?


bcblond: I'm so glad things are getting better and you got good test results. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.


AFM: I spent the evening "nesting" to get ready for the dog. I figure this is the last time ever my floor won't have fur, so I'm getting my house as clean as I can. Somehow I have had energy and the ms has gone away. That makes me a little nervous of course, so hopefully in the morning I'll feel like death again.

post #7 of 102

Camera and Dandy: yep, still expecting things to go wrong and expecting every trip to the bathroom to end in a red wipe =/ I can't wait till we are safely in that last month of if the baby were born then it would probably be ok. Man this is going to be a long wait...

post #8 of 102

Yeah, the bottom half of my nail is seriously black. And it still hurts.

post #9 of 102
OWW! Slamming your finger is NOT fun. greensad.gif
post #10 of 102

So this is more of a tired sigh then a good vent:


I can't wait to be past 12 weeks... And this little teeny pencil dot is wreaking havoc on my system.  I had a huge golf ball size blemish appear on my shoulder blade over the course of 6 hours.  Ok, so maybe its only dime sized, but its swollen and painful and deep and it feels like a huge golf ball!  I'm Quasimodo over here!


And I'm more tired than I've ever been in my life.  I pulled all nighters studying for exams, getting maybe 4 hours of sleep in 48 - 72 hour time frames, and was never this tired.  I go to sleep tired, I wake up tired, the only time I'm not tired is when I am suddenly ravenous and am too hungry to sleep.  The tiredness also seems to be affecting my emotions, as I'm suddenly struggling to stay sane and not go bat-stuff at people who are in my path to the bathroom.  On the plus side, I'm too tired to really worry or get worked up over the spotting I've had the last 3 days.  And I only sliced open my thumb on a mandolin, I didn't squish it so life is pretty good.


Hope you guys are well :)

post #11 of 102
Thread Starter 

I don't really know what to do right now. We just adopted our dog on Saturday, and she is a sweetheart. It took a few days for my allergies to kick in, I'm pretty miserable now. There's no way we're going to send her back, but I have to be able to breathe too.


I used to be allergic to dogs, but then a few years ago I lived with someone who had a dog. After 6 years I stopped testing positive for dog allergies. This was only a couple of years ago, but I guess my resistance has faded. We chose a breed who is supposed to be good for people with allergies (a greyhound), and before we adopted her I let another greyhound get fur all in my eyes and it didn't bother me.


If I wasn't preggo I'd go through the series of injections, but you can't start them while pregnant. I can't take my asthma medications because they're not on the safe list, so benedryl it is, which means I turn into the walking dead. I hope I get a solution figured out soon :(

post #12 of 102

Hi Dandy Lion, I have allergies too, had the injection shots and am up to maintenance.  Benadryl also knocks me on my butt, but there is another antihystamine Xyzal that doesn't have that affect on me.  Its a Class B drug, might be worth talking to your allergist about.


Didn't you also say you went through the house cleaning everything before the new pup arrived?  Maybe you stirred something up, or the cleaning solutions you picked up irritated your sinuses, I know I have reactions to dust and dander.  Since you did the fur in the face test, and it took several days before you started reacting, it could be that the pup only today rolled in a particular weed that you are allergic to, and its not really her?


You probably know the standard advice of having the dog sleep in a different room than you at night, never allow her on your pillows or blankets, using saline rinses, washing your hands, having hubby bathe the dog every couple days or so, etc.


Good luck, before I got my allergy shots I was constantly 'sick' with 'colds' because my symptoms were the same and I am allergic to summer grasses, winter trees, fall weeds, and dogs, cats, dustmites, cedar woods, etc etc etc.  I know how miserable it can be and hope you feel better soon.


post #13 of 102

I spent all day yesterday crying. It was just a horrid day. First, I was three days from buying tickets for myself and my sons to go to Canada to visit my parents for the first time in 10 years and my dad wrote and started freaking out about us going through Mexico City airport, where we had a 12 hour layover. I was already nervous about traveling alone with two kids, but then he started going on about crime rates and stuff. i responded calmly and then he wrote back about kids being snatched and sold into human slavery and my pregnancy hormones took over and I totally lost it. Then in the middle of all that, I broke a tooth and I'm deathly afraid of dentists, so I had a complete meltdown. Poor DH had no idea what to do for me. :(


In the end, our trip was cancelled. I feel very stupid about it all, but I can't handle the pressure right now and we can't fly through a safer airport because my sons are still not registered as Canadian citizens and don't have visas for the US. They DO have visas for Canada, which took us a year to get, but at this point, I'm thinking it's better to just chill here and put another level on the house so we have room for this baby. Part of that comes from the fact that my dad wrote back after I said maybe we should wait til the kids can fly through the US and he had his own little meltdown and basically said that nothing will ever work out so there's no point in even trying to see his grandkids, and then a nice guilt trip about my choosing to live in Guatemala and a bunch of other stuff. Cue yet another meltdown from me. Then I started spotting and my husband suggested I chill out before I lose the baby, which made me feel even worse. I finally did calm down and go to bed and this morning there's no blood at all.


In short, it was a really, really horrid day and now I'm just depressed. Yay, baby hormones!

post #14 of 102

I am so emotionally fed up.  I have been more than patient.  Today is day 6 of spotting, a mix of fresh, clots, and old brown blood.  6 DAYS.  I don't know if I'd rather know something or not.  I haven't had any cramping, just some lower back pain and some scary twinges.  6 weeks 5 days today, but I don't really want to get the bloodwork or U/S yet.  Seriously WTF.  Just stop bleeding already!!!  All I want to do today is curse and kick things.  And nap.



post #15 of 102

My house was in a flood 3 weeks ago (baby was conceived within a day or two of the evacuation). We were able to get to our home last night. The basement is still filled to the top step with water. The upstairs didn't even look like a house. It looked like a horror movie set. The ceiling was on the floor, everything was covered in thick, smelling sludge and the walls are falling apart. The house was unrecognizable. The water reached the roof. I am still in shock at how bad it really was. I went in prepared to see the very worst and what I saw blew my mind!! We are living in a friends basement with our three small children. We are trying to figure out what to do and how to put our lives back together. The government helps some with money, but that won't even be enough to have someone clean it out and gut it. I feel like my head is spinning!! I picked up a clean-up kit from the Red Cross today and everyone there was so kind and I just lost it. bawling.gif

post #16 of 102

Mamaprek, oh my goodness!  That's hard to imagine.   Can you even fix a house that has gone through that or do you start fresh? 

Your last sentence reminds me of what I do.  I can't handle people being nice to me when I've got hidden emotions, it sends me over the edge.  I've no idea why and I've not been able to find a way to stop it.  Kind of embarassing and I feel bad for the person being nice to me.  Wish I understood why.

Best of luck getting that sorted!  I guess there's not really a bright side to it...maybe you come out of it all with a stronger community? 


post #17 of 102

Baconlover, I bled for a MONTH with william. It started as a couple days of pink, then went to mostly brown but I did have some days of red, and some days of tiny clots. A MONTH I thought I was gonna miscarry any day. I was sure of it. And if it was gonna happen could it get on with it already?! But the bean hung on. The fact that it's not really getting worse makes me think you're ok! I honestly think if you were miscarrying it would start to pick up by now. We're rooting for you hun.

Originally Posted by BaconLover View Post

I am so emotionally fed up.  I have been more than patient.  Today is day 6 of spotting, a mix of fresh, clots, and old brown blood.  6 DAYS.  I don't know if I'd rather know something or not.  I haven't had any cramping, just some lower back pain and some scary twinges.  6 weeks 5 days today, but I don't really want to get the bloodwork or U/S yet.  Seriously WTF.  Just stop bleeding already!!!  All I want to do today is curse and kick things.  And nap.




post #18 of 102
Thread Starter 

I'm so tired

post #19 of 102
Originally Posted by Dandy Lion View Post

I'm so tired

Amen to that.

post #20 of 102

thanks Bcblondie. That helps a lot.  I'm trying to figure out if my emotional meltdown is hormone related, and i really hope it is.  i just havent felt very pregnant, just crabby hungry, tired, and like hissing at people.


I'll second / third Dandy Lion and Lilkat too.

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