Oh gosh, I just have to vent here cause I really can't anywhere else!! I love my husband, I do...but he's being mean right now!! I don't know if it's because his job is ridiculously insane and stressful, or he's nervous about having another baby (and therefore blaming me for wanting for and trying for a second child...though OBVIOUSLY he had something to do with the conception), or if it's just that because I am exhausted and not feeling well that for the first time his family (popping in for a three day visit) is not seeing a perky groomed me with a spic and span house and meals on the table at the correct times!! I swear, at first him sitting on the couch talking to his sister and her friend or laying on the couch playing incessant games of online poker was a bit annoying at most...and I probably shouldn't have gotten my feelings hurt when it was MY fault that 1) one of the XBox controllers is missing, 2) I have no clue where the sink stoppers (that I NEVER use, but that SIL wanted) are, 3) I have no clue where his tiny screwdriver is that he needed to unlock the bathroom doors that the nephew and nieces locked us out of, and 4) that he didn't think I also wanted to continue watching the show we'd all been watching and started it back up when I was out of the room changing a diaper!!
But when he, laying on the couch playing poker woke me up from my drowsiness on the loveseat to fuss at me to feed the kids...that was annoying. Then I called him to come from the study where he was playing a computer game to help me with our overstimulated and tantruming toddler and he said he hoped I could figure out how to deal with him now so that I wouldn't be overwhelmed when the kiddo is 14 and acting out and I said something to the effect of "well, one would hope that when said child is 14 that I won't be pregnant and sick"...then he starts going off on how I wouldn't be so tired and behind on the house if I hadn't had a hoopjam here on Thursday night (which said hoopjam ended up being ONE person who ended up staying less than an hour)!! Okay, so then I did mutter something about his incessant poker games and he got mad.
Then, once our sick toddler was napping (oh yeah...did I mention that toddler has been sick with something since Wednesday and I was up ALL night with him that night and dealing with his cranky, clingy self ever since) my SIL's kids wanted to play in the pool we have set up in the garage. Well, they are bigger and much "splashier" than our little dude and they were splashing everything around them...so we were trying to move things out. I picked up a little metal bedframe (you know the kind that is just rails for the boxsprings to sit on and has wheels) and tried to get it out of the way so we could move the boxsprings out cause they were getting soaked. He actually YELLED at me in front of SIL and the kids about how stupid I was for thinking I could lean them against his truck for a second. I then said something about how "I guess I can't do anything right today" and the kids were even asking me if I was okay cause I was starting to cry. I came in and put away a little laundry and then retreated back to the master bedroom with the door (that we never shut) closed....and neither husband nor SIL have bothered to come in and say anything. I know it sounds crazy cause I do think it's cool when a guy is close with his family and all...but to be so mean to me because of (or at least in front of) his family just cause I can't present that perfect little image I've tried so hard in the past to maintain it really hurts!!
Oh yeah, and that whole perfect image in front of his family thing actually was physically not good for me one time. When I was released from the hospital after an emergency transport from my planned homebirth they somehow missed all the signs that I had pre-eclampsia actually post-birth. My legs were hugely swollen and painful and I could hardly stand to have my legs in any way but propped up higher than my head. Before all of that happened my midwife throughly explained to us that I was to have no visitors longer than 10 minutes after the birth unless they were there to be put to work and that I was NOT to exert myself to entertain them...I was to stay in bed and let them do the entertaining...and for no longer than 10 minutes max (unless they wanted to do dishes or something). Well, THAT didn't happen!! Two days after getting out of the hospital and one day before I was rushed back to the hospital with an eclamptic seizure my MIL, teenage BIL, and MIL's mother came and sat in our living room for like three hours!! The living room was the only place I could lay down with feet above head (on our couch)...but because it would be "inappropriate" for my teenage BIL to see me lying down or to see me in a housecoat I had to get dressed and sit upright while trying not to wince at the pain in my feet. When I excused myself to try to nurse the little guy (also had to do that out of the room to keep from being "inappropriate") I sat there with the little dude in the nursery and cried and cried from exhaustion and pain and frustration...yet my husband thought nothing of it...cause of course family is the exception to the 10 minute rule in his eyes!! And I ended up having a seizure the next day!!
Sorry for being so long-winded, but I had to vent SOMEWHERE...and since most everywhere online I post I haven't told about the pregnancy and/or the people are also friends with DH (and many of them knew him before they knew me)...and since I make it a rule never to badmouth my husband to my own family (so they don't hold things against him down the line)...I just had to vent here!!