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Emotional vent post - say it here! - Page 3

post #41 of 102

Alyadri: OMG your MIL sounds like mine minus the doula part.

 

Her lack of interest in our boys has really upset my DH and she is such a self centered censored.gif DH told her i was pregnant and she said "oh, ok" and then went back to ranting about how busy she is WTF she is a house wife with a super awesome, helpful 17 year old son that does all the house work! My FIL that lives on the east coast has spent more time with our children! Last week she come over (i was thinking to try and help with the boys since i've been feeling so crappy) but she was 2.5 hours late then just wanted to go out to lunch and rant the whole time about how she just had to get out of the house and and how her husband and son are driving her crazy then left. WTF?

 

Hah I love this thread! I would say all this to the DH but he already is so upset about his mom's behavior I don't need to make it worse. 

 

 

Milk8shake: That is really lame. My friends just got married after dating 7 years and already own a home and cars together but felt the had to because they decided they wanted to start a family. It was odd to see how relieved their family members were even though her dad is on his 3rd wife.... People are stupid. Sorry you have to deal with it.

 

post #42 of 102

Biffer, isn't it hard to deal with a MIL like that?  She's just bitter and mean.  I don't know how else to describe it.

I'm sorry you have to put up with the same B.S.  - - It gets old trying to always play their game. 

post #43 of 102
Quote:

It gets old trying to always play their game. 


Seriously!

 

post #44 of 102

We had a rough day yesterday.  My MIL came to watch the kids so my dh and I could go into the city for some errands.  I was late getting ready to go and so MIL was stuck with making dinner.  Dh and I split up for an hour and then were going to meet to grab a bite to eat and then do some more shopping.  When we met up, though, he was on the phone and said we had to go.  Our toddler, A, pushed a chair over to the stove when it was still hot and had burned his hand on it.  Dh was asking MIL what it looked like so he could figure out if she could call an ambulance, or if it could wait for us to get home and then take him in.  By the time we got home, he had calmed down; he was OK as long as his hand was in cool water.  There was one really big blister on his hand, and it looked like the rest of his palm was close to blistering, but it was hard to tell because it was so pruney from the water.  We took him to the closest hospital and luckily, it wasn't busy at all.  They said it was a 2nd degree burn and would heal well because none of it was on his wrist or fingers.  They bandaged it up with lots of polysporin & showed us how to do it.  We just have to keep it clean and change the bandage at least once a day and give him tylenol/advil for any pain.  He was such a trooper, laughing and playing with us while we sat waiting to be seen; we brought a cup of water for him to keep his hand in and refilled it as it cooled off, and as long as his hand was in there, he was happy.

 

I felt so badly for my MIL, too.  She's such a sweetheart and she kept apologizing about it.  Our 6 yo was a big help, too.  A wanted her to hold him when he was first hurt, and she carried him around for quite a while.

 

Another problem was that when we got the call, I had last eaten at lunch.  I was expecting to eat with dh when we met up, and I was starving by then.  I managed to grab a little while dh was calling the hospital to see if that was where we should take him, but I was trying to keep A comfortable at the same time and it was tricky.  I didn't really eat anything until 11, which would have been fine if it were just me, but I had read earlier that day about how important it is to eat well and regularly in the first 9 weeks or something, because the baby needs steady glucose for neural development.  I ate as much as I could when we got home, but I felt like I was going to throw up, so I took it easy.  I feel silly worrying about it because I'm so newly pregnant -- yesterday was day 30 of my cycle, so I'm barely late -- but it was all kind of overwhelming. 

post #45 of 102

Brisen, SO sorry to hear about your toddler getting hurt!  Glad you have a supportive MIL, though.

 

biffer, ugh sorry about your MIL.  I don't understand how people can be like that and not see how blessed their lives are. :(

 

 

My health insurance drama continued....I emailed my PCP to say that I was anxious about how things were going and wanted to be able to schedule an early u/s maybe around week 7.  She said she would call in the order for me and I could call radiology to schedule it.

 

I called radiology yesterday and they asked when my LMP was (which is NOT accurate for dating, but I told it to them anyway, because it gives me more "time" on my pregnancy) and said I could not have a u/s until at least 8 weeks.  I asked, "why?" and they said, "because you can't see anything before then."

 

UH NO.  Not true.  I said, "no.  I know that's not true.  I had a u/s way before 8 weeks last time and we saw everything.  Can we please schedule it sooner?"  She got all bitchy on the phone and said, "well, there are no openings before August 3 anyway."  I asked, "can I be put on a waiting list for sooner?" and she got allllllll sweet all of a sudden, "of course!  What phone number should we use for the waiting list?"  I'm pretty sure the "waiting list" is nonexistent.

 

Finally, we settled on August 8 (I am out of town August 3-7), which seemed to make her feel pleased and sound smug.  I will be almost 9 weeks then.

 

ASCCKKKKKKK, why do they have to be so horrible to work with?  I have never had to fight like this for my own care!  Every woman has different needs and different reasons for their needs; why can that not be honored?

post #46 of 102

Brisen - so sorry about your little guy, and glad to hear he's going to be OK.

 

Cellist - that's just terrible.

post #47 of 102

Brisen: Ugh I'm sorry. I hope he heals quickly.

 

Cellist: Yeah, it is weird that she doesn't care.

I'm so sorry that the radiology secretary was so rude. I just don't understand why she would straight up lie to you about coming before 8 weeks. My Dr doesn't usually want to schedule before 7 weeks so that people who might be off with their dates will still have the chance of seeing a hb. 

post #48 of 102

biffer, at least that would not be a lie!! 

post #49 of 102

Okay ladies, in serious need of an emotional vent. I'm a nervous wreck and I'm pretty sure I'm doing it all to myself.

Yesterday someone asked me how I was feeling and I said "Great!" Once I got home I realized I did feel great. My boobs were almost not sore at all (though they are never very bad), I was only mildly nauseous (though my nausea at its worst has never amounted to much), and I wasn't super exhausted. So now here I sit cataloguing every symptom and its fluctuating severity. The worst part is that can I feel me psyching myself out, I don't normally spin this badly. In March I had a missed miscarriage. Baby stopped developing at 7w4d, I'm now 7w3d. The only hint I had last time was that my symptoms had lessened. 

I see the correlation, I know it is likely unwarranted worry, but I can't convince myself to chill out. Oh the wonders a glass of wine would do right about now! ;)

We have a scheduled ultrasound on Monday morning so I guess I just hold on until then and hope with every part of my being to see a little flicker on the screen. 

Baaaaaah.

 

Ok, vent finished. No need to respond (although if you've experienced the same thing and had a good outcome I wouldn't mind hearing!), just needed to get it out of my own head.

 

post #50 of 102
Sigh. My husband is in the doghouse. I can't work because of a disability, and he got laid off in May. We have enough money to pay the bills and get by, but there isn't a ton of extra money. We need new tires on my car, our daughter needs dental work, etc. We need to be saving money instead of spending. He keeps finding stuff on craiglist that we don't need, gets excited, and then gets all mopey when I tell him that we really don't NEED a compost turner or whatever else. I keep reminding him as nicely as I can that we have a baby on the way and need to be SAVING - not spending.

Tomorrow is DD's birthday party, but her birthday isn't until next Thursday. Today he told me he wanted to get her a bike. Okay, that's fine. Later he told me he was going to Walmart to pick up what we needed for tomorrow, and he was taking DD to see what size bike she would fit. Two hours later, he comes home with a bike and a helmet. Nice way to completely leave me out of the shopping, and the joy of giving it to her. Being there when she gets her birthday present is kind of important to me. I already feel left out of things because I am dealing with a chronic health condition and morning sickness.

On top of that, he bought a curved shower curtain rod and didn't say anything about it to me. I found it in the garage. Do we need a new curtain rod? NO. Why, of all things, do you just decide to pick up a steel shower curtain rod when things are tight? I know that part of this is probably hormones, but I am a weepy mess.
post #51 of 102
Thread Starter 

This is definitely a little thing, but I have 8 huge, itchy, red, itchy mosquito bites right now. I'm usually someone who never gets bitten, and I don't even know when these happened because I haven't been outside during peak times.The extra blood must be making me tasty.

post #52 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by cameragirl View Post

Sigh. My husband is in the doghouse. I can't work because of a disability, and he got laid off in May. We have enough money to pay the bills and get by, but there isn't a ton of extra money. We need new tires on my car, our daughter needs dental work, etc. We need to be saving money instead of spending. He keeps finding stuff on craiglist that we don't need, gets excited, and then gets all mopey when I tell him that we really don't NEED a compost turner or whatever else. I keep reminding him as nicely as I can that we have a baby on the way and need to be SAVING - not spending.

Tomorrow is DD's birthday party, but her birthday isn't until next Thursday. Today he told me he wanted to get her a bike. Okay, that's fine. Later he told me he was going to Walmart to pick up what we needed for tomorrow, and he was taking DD to see what size bike she would fit. Two hours later, he comes home with a bike and a helmet. Nice way to completely leave me out of the shopping, and the joy of giving it to her. Being there when she gets her birthday present is kind of important to me. I already feel left out of things because I am dealing with a chronic health condition and morning sickness.

On top of that, he bought a curved shower curtain rod and didn't say anything about it to me. I found it in the garage. Do we need a new curtain rod? NO. Why, of all things, do you just decide to pick up a steel shower curtain rod when things are tight? I know that part of this is probably hormones, but I am a weepy mess.


I'm sorry, I can sympathize with this.  Money is tight here too and it is just really stressful all.the.time.  DH always complains about not having enough money, yet he doesn't really think twice about spending and spending when he really shouldn't. We never spend on big ticket items, but I cannot seem to convince him that little purchases and meals out really do add up.
 

 

post #53 of 102

My morning/all-day sickness has been making me miserable. I'm missing a gigantic all-day party today that I really wanted to go to, and I was supposed to be running one of the events at it, so I feel like I'm letting people down. guilty.gif I know that I needed a day off, things have been super hectic this week, and I have a 13 hour work day tomorrow, but I still feel guilty and sad and like I'm really missing out. I just have no idea how I could have gone feeling as sick as I am, and still manage to have a good time. Plus we're not telling anyone for another 7 weeks, and I don't want anyone getting suspicious.

 

I'm also feeling really nervous because I haven't been eating enough. I just can't force enough food down, and since I've been sleeping so much lately it's easy for me to go 12-13 hours without eating anything. I'm worried about what this is doing to my embryo, and whether it's going to cause long-term damage. I can't keep food by my bed very easily because we have those horrible indian meal moths (so gross and embarrassing!). I try to eat, but nothing sounds good, and I can only have a few bites of food before feeling unwell.

 

I keep trying to look on the bright side and appreciate my morning sickness as another sign that my body is doing what it's supposed to, but sometimes I just feel like whining about it.

post #54 of 102

I feel for everyone who has posted and hope things look up. Cellist, you know I especially feel your pain dealing with uncaring healthcare. They shouldn't be standing in the way of you knowing what is going on with your own body and baby. 

 

My stuff feels trivial compared to what some of you are going through. I recently graduated and began a new job a few months ago, and that is the biggest source of stress. Taking on the stress of pregnancy in addition to what I was already struggling with trying to learn and get established in a new career, look competent when I don't always feel that way, while not being able to share with clients and coworkers the extra stress is tough. And the thought of leaving then coming back to the job with a new baby to care for seems overwhelming right now, though I am trying not to think that far ahead yet. My schedule varies and I often don't get home until 5:30 - 8:00 p.m. Personally I can't wait until I start showing and can tell everyone and get a bit of sympathy!

post #55 of 102

Anyone else super irritable?  Like incredibly cranky and moody?  I don't think I've ever been so cranky.  My poor dh can't say anything right.  I take everything as a personal insult and assume that he's trivializing everything or correcting me or telling me I'm wrong.  When I get moody, I'm usually more weepy than cranky, so this is new for me.  I have been on the verge of tears a few times, but some of those times were out of frustration at how annoying everyone around me is.

post #56 of 102

My emotional vent....

 

I started spotting last night.  And then again today a little bit heavier.  Its no where near the gushing I had the other day, but just so worrying and exhausting.  And to top it all off, I have these big waves of cramping that are pretty intense.  I know I just got to see my bean a few days ago and everything looked great, but this is still making me basically incapacitated with worry.

 

Time is going so slow, and I feel like I just want it to fly by to get out of this stage.

 

My next appt with my midwife isn't for 4 more weeks, but I just might ask her to check heart rate with the doppler in two weeks if this unexplained bleeding is still going on.

post #57 of 102

hug2.gif   I'm sorry; I know how slowly time can go by.  I hope you can get in to see your mw and get that reassurance.

post #58 of 102

So sorry, Tulgey, it must be awful. I hope you get to hear that sweet heart beat again very soon, to put your mind at ease hug2.gif

post #59 of 102

Oh gosh, I just have to vent here cause I really can't anywhere else!! I love my husband, I do...but he's being mean right now!! I don't know if it's because his job is ridiculously insane and stressful, or he's nervous about having another baby (and therefore blaming me for wanting for and trying for a second child...though OBVIOUSLY he had something to do with the conception), or if it's just that because I am exhausted and not feeling well that for the first time his family (popping in for a three day visit) is not seeing a perky groomed me with a spic and span house and meals on the table at the correct times!! I swear, at first him sitting on the couch talking to his sister and her friend or laying on the couch playing incessant games of online poker was a bit annoying at most...and I probably shouldn't have gotten my feelings hurt when it was MY fault that 1) one of the XBox controllers is missing, 2) I have no clue where the sink stoppers (that I NEVER use, but that SIL wanted) are, 3) I have no clue where his tiny screwdriver is that he needed to unlock the bathroom doors that the nephew and nieces locked us out of, and 4) that he didn't think I also wanted to continue watching the show we'd all been watching and started it back up when I was out of the room changing a diaper!!

 

But when he, laying on the couch playing poker woke me up from my drowsiness on the loveseat to fuss at me to feed the kids...that was annoying. Then I called him to come from the study where he was playing a computer game to help me with our overstimulated and tantruming toddler and he said he hoped I could figure out how to deal with him now so that I wouldn't be overwhelmed when the kiddo is 14 and acting out and I said something to the effect of "well, one would hope that when said child is 14 that I won't be pregnant and sick"...then he starts going off on how I wouldn't be so tired and behind on the house if I hadn't had a hoopjam here on Thursday night (which said hoopjam ended up being ONE person who ended up staying less than an hour)!! Okay, so then I did mutter something about his incessant poker games and he got mad.

 

Then, once our sick toddler was napping (oh yeah...did I mention that toddler has been sick with something since Wednesday and I was up ALL night with him that night and dealing with his cranky, clingy self ever since) my SIL's kids wanted to play in the pool we have set up in the garage. Well, they are bigger and much "splashier" than our little dude and they were splashing everything around them...so we were trying to move things out. I picked up a little metal bedframe (you know the kind that is just rails for the boxsprings to sit on and has wheels) and tried to get it out of the way so we could move the boxsprings out cause they were getting soaked. He actually YELLED at me in front of SIL and the kids about how stupid I was for thinking I could lean them against his truck for a second. I then said something about how "I guess I can't do anything right today" and the kids were even asking me if I was okay cause I was starting to cry. I came in and put away a little laundry and then retreated back to the master bedroom with the door (that we never shut) closed....and neither husband nor SIL have bothered to come in and say anything. I know it sounds crazy cause I do think it's cool when a guy is close with his family and all...but to be so mean to me because of (or at least in front of) his family just cause I can't present that perfect little image I've tried so hard in the past to maintain it really hurts!!

 

Oh yeah, and that whole perfect image in front of his family thing actually was physically not good for me one time. When I was released from the hospital after an emergency transport from my planned homebirth they somehow missed all the signs that I had pre-eclampsia actually post-birth. My legs were hugely swollen and painful and I could hardly stand to have my legs in any way but propped up higher than my head. Before all of that happened my midwife throughly explained to us that I was to have no visitors longer than 10 minutes after the birth unless they were there to be put to work and that I was NOT to exert myself to entertain them...I was to stay in bed and let them do the entertaining...and for no longer than 10 minutes max (unless they wanted to do dishes or something). Well, THAT didn't happen!! Two days after getting out of the hospital and one day before I was rushed back to the hospital with an eclamptic seizure my MIL, teenage BIL, and MIL's mother came and sat in our living room for like three hours!! The living room was the only place I could lay down with feet above head (on our couch)...but because it would be "inappropriate" for my teenage BIL to see me lying down or to see me in a housecoat I had to get dressed and sit upright while trying not to wince at the pain in my feet. When I excused myself to try to nurse the little guy (also had to do that out of the room to keep from being "inappropriate") I sat there with the little dude in the nursery and cried and cried from exhaustion and pain and frustration...yet my husband thought nothing of it...cause of course family is the exception to the 10 minute rule in his eyes!! And I ended up having a seizure the next day!!

 

Sorry for being so long-winded, but I had to vent SOMEWHERE...and since most everywhere online I post I haven't told about the pregnancy and/or the people are also friends with DH (and many of them knew him before they knew me)...and since I make it a rule never to badmouth my husband to my own family (so they don't hold things against him down the line)...I just had to vent here!!

 

post #60 of 102

Hugs, Rainey Daye. That sucks hug2.gif

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