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Emotional vent post - say it here! - Page 5

post #81 of 102
I also had sciatica in both prior pregnancies, but it usually didn't start until well into the 2nd/3rd trimester! I'm so sorry mama, I know how excruciating it is! Chiropracter is a godsend to help with that pain though. Hope you get some relief soon!
post #82 of 102

THis is my first pregnancy (7 weeks today!) so it's all new. ALl I know is that I'm so, so tired... and I'm TIRED of being tired!!

 

And i'm TIRED of being emotional! I've always prided myself on being rational and calm - i rarely have "crazy female" moments, but now i can't seem to stop crying! My poor fiancee, he's being so patient, but i feel horrible every time i feel myself starting up!!

post #83 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaValley View Post

THis is my first pregnancy (7 weeks today!) so it's all new. ALl I know is that I'm so, so tired... and I'm TIRED of being tired!!

 

And i'm TIRED of being emotional! I've always prided myself on being rational and calm - i rarely have "crazy female" moments, but now i can't seem to stop crying! My poor fiancee, he's being so patient, but i feel horrible every time i feel myself starting up!!



No worries MamaValley!  He understands:)  They all do.  You are not crazy...it's a part of it. xo

post #84 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamathomas View Post

Had a total meltdown last night.  I'm feeling so sick that I can barely move and am feeling so utterly guilty that I haven't been able to do anything outside the house with DD.  I'll be 9w this Thursday and am just trying to hold on to hope that it will eventually get better.  I can't take this much longer. gloomy.gif



Hang in there mamathomas!  I'm going through the same thing.  My OB told me that I will probably get worse.  I'm in bed 24/7 feeling like I'm going to lose my lunch every second of the day.  I cry a lot.  It's really hard for me to cope too.  My poor husband is taking care of me...he can't get any work done.  At least we know we will have our beautiful rainbow at the end of this hard time ((hugs))hug2.gif

post #85 of 102

I'm tired of not being myself anymore.

 

I've turned into this person who is "always sick" and "always miserable".  I don't want to be this person.  I want to go back to being the fun me.

 

All I've got to hang onto is the hope that by week 12 this will start to lift and I'll start to feel better.  I work full time and it's a huge strain.  I struggle so much with the balance of being a good employee and not giving in to the ms or looking after my body and if I need a day off, it's probably because I "need a day off" for baby's and my sake.  I am really lucky though where I work that it's a very understanding workplace.

post #86 of 102

So I have to post, so much has happened since last week and its just building and building. So I was working a temp job and had another job a permanent job lined up and had a little over a week gap between the two so we could do a little family vacation and for me to get some appointments and stuff taken care of that I needed to.

 

So last Wednesday I got a call from my new boss saying that there ended up being an issue and he is going to have to delay letting the girl I am supposed to replace go and at this time he cannot hire me. Mind you HE saught ME out for this job. I stopped networking and everything from my last job as this was "for sure" and I was supposed to start that next Tuesday. I understand she found out and is throwing a fit but its not ok to hire someone and then pull the job away. I am freaking out as every day I am not working is that much less savings we will have for my husband to take off work when baby is born and that much less for baby stuff plus bills will be tight as well.

 

So on top of that stress Monday I start feeling more sick then I had and Tuesday wake up at 6 am to stomach cramps, vomiting and diarrhea. Now I am not someone the pukes easy and with the cramping I knew this was more then just morning sickness as I have IBS and know the type of cramping I was having was more related to that but still in the back of my mind I am worried about miscarriage and just checking to see if there is any blood and thankfully no. So I end up being sick all day and even have my aunt come take my DS as I was feeling so crummy. I start getting really worried as I am not able to keep any water or gatorade down so around 4:30 call the midwife and my general and they both said to go to the ER or Urgent Care as I was not keeping anything down.

 

After about 30 mins at Urgent care they give me a shot of some anti nausea medicine and send me home telling me if I throw up anymore of if my fever gets worse or I just feel worse I will have to go to the ER and get and IV fluids. Luckily that did help and I was able to keep some gatorade down but I was so missirable and so dehydrated I was having a bad headache and leg cramps and my back hurt and I was so whiney and I know I was annoying my DH but after going thru that I wonder how he will handle me thru labor and then that just started stressing me out more.

 

Finally on the mend today and able to eat some solids and they think I just had a bug but now so worried about my DH being my coach/support thru the labor. He just is not the most empathetic person yet he doesnt think we should hire a doula as that is his job.

 

Ugh feels alot better to just say this instead of thinking it.

post #87 of 102
Today is so beautiful that it makes me want to cry. I started back on steroids to see if that helps control my spasms without Ativan or Flexeril. (Don't worry - I went over it with the perinatologist.) Steriods make me hurt. I'm all achey and the pain medication I have isn't really helping. I should keep it up for awhile to see if it helps, because I'd like to not have to deal with spasms or withdrawal in my precious newborn when the time comes. It just sucks. My other options are IVIG (gamma-globulin from donors) and I'm going to set that up soon, as well as Immuran - an anti-rejection drug. The drugs I use are actually considered fairly safe by perinatologists, but Ob's and other specialists won't touch them without covering their butts. I still feel this underlying fear, probably in part due to the miscarriage. I just want a healthy, happy baby.

I want to go pick the massive amount of tomatoes in the garden, but it is going to hurt and I am too tired to shower again today. The juice from tomato plants is slightly toxic, so it itches on my like crazy. I thought I was getting the new Kathy Reichs book in the mail today, and I was looking forward to a leisurely day of reading. When it didn't come in the mail, I checked and the book doesn't come out until Tuesday.

I think the only upside today is watching our chicks drag around a french fry like it is going to kill them. I imagine them thinking "Watch out! That thing might BLOW at any minute!!!"
post #88 of 102

Ohhhhh I'm so ticked off right now.  I had someone today tell me that that they'd rather have their child be AUTISTIC like my daughter than be un-vaccinated like my son.  Are your freaking kidding me???????????? I literally shut up and walked away from her.  I mean what do you say to that?? I would have punched her in the face before I could have mustered anything out.

She has 1 child - - not that there is anything wrong with first time mom's - but how dare her say that she would rather have her daughter be Autistic.  She has no idea the everyday battles that our family goes through.  I have a younger brother who is also on the spectrum - this is something I've lived with my whole life and it's not easy.

 

We fully vaccinated our daughter because we thought it was the 'right' thing to do.  Now, after researching the things I put in my childrens bodies I've made the decision to selective vacc if vaccinate at all.  I understand that not everyone agrees with this method but I'm not shoving my views down other people's throats.  It is a decision that fits OUR family.  Simple as that.  I don't need people attacking me because of a choice that we've made that in no way affects her or her child. 

 

Rawwwr - really needed to get that out.

 

 

post #89 of 102
Wow! What a rude thing to say! I would have had the urge to punch her face, too!
post #90 of 102

I am 13 weeks today and my morning sickness is worse than ever.  I want to cry! 

post #91 of 102
Junebugs - how much are you vomiting? Are you losing weight from it?
post #92 of 102
Junebugs-I'm in the same boat. I've lost 30 pounds and OB said if I don't gain by Thursday shes putting me in hospital:(.

Cameragirl-Why are you on steroids?
post #93 of 102

I guess I shouldn't be complaining...I'm not actually vomiting.  I've just had severe nausea and dizziness since week 7.  It actually seems to be getting a little bit worse.  I eating some, but I'm still down about 5 pounds now.  I tried zofran and it helped a little bit, but the constipation side effect was really bad.

post #94 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiyla View Post

Junebugs-I'm in the same boat. I've lost 30 pounds and OB said if I don't gain by Thursday shes putting me in hospital:(.

Cameragirl-Why are you on steroids?

I have Stiff Person Syndrome. Funky name, I know. It causes muscle spasms, and steroids are one of the drugs they know to be pretty safe after 10 weeks or so. I'm doing a pulse dose, so a high starting dose, then taper down to nothing to see if it helps.
post #95 of 102

Oh I hope it helps!

 

 

post #96 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by JunebugsMom View Post

I guess I shouldn't be complaining...I'm not actually vomiting.  I've just had severe nausea and dizziness since week 7.  It actually seems to be getting a little bit worse.  I eating some, but I'm still down about 5 pounds now.  I tried zofran and it helped a little bit, but the constipation side effect was really bad.


It is just as miserable to be that nauseated or dizzy all of the time. I've been there and I don't ever want to go back. Constipation is no fun, either. Sometimes you just need to complain, you know? I'd say feeling crummy for weeks on end is a good reason.
post #97 of 102
Thread Starter 

I really just don't know how much I can take in the past month. I wish I could just type out all of the details and get them out of my brain, but I know for legal reasons I should probably be really careful.

 

Custody battle

downturn in stock market means huge damage to our savings

house appraised low, so we have to sell the stocks to help meet requirements

no more cushion if custody battle gets really expensive, may not get to be a sahm

I'm covered in hives, and nothing helps them

my nice relaxing weekend turned into one of the most stressful events in my life, and my dog required $600 in stitches. Ended up sleeping (more like laying awake because she was whining) next to her all night long, and I have no idea what we're going to do during the work week.

 

I feel like I just need a break from all of this. I'm trying to remain as strong as I can, but life is just getting to me. Tears.

post #98 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dandy Lion View Post

I really just don't know how much I can take in the past month. I wish I could just type out all of the details and get them out of my brain, but I know for legal reasons I should probably be really careful.

 

Custody battle

downturn in stock market means huge damage to our savings

house appraised low, so we have to sell the stocks to help meet requirements

no more cushion if custody battle gets really expensive, may not get to be a sahm

I'm covered in hives, and nothing helps them

my nice relaxing weekend turned into one of the most stressful events in my life, and my dog required $600 in stitches. Ended up sleeping (more like laying awake because she was whining) next to her all night long, and I have no idea what we're going to do during the work week.

 

I feel like I just need a break from all of this. I'm trying to remain as strong as I can, but life is just getting to me. Tears.



I am so sorry you are going through this.

post #99 of 102

Dandy Lion, that is a lot to be going through.  I hope you get a break soon.

post #100 of 102

I had the blood test associated with the Nuchal (downs syndrome) test today and had them question the dates I had scheduled for my ultrasound.  I was so stressed because I thought I had it all sorted so it was done within the 13 weeks.  After all the IVF, surgeries and testing I've been through, I'm so sick to death of being questioned and poked and having to argue with people like blood collectors every step of the way  mecry.gif

 

The blood collecting lady said to me, "so, when did you have your ultrasound" and I said "I'm having it next week" and then she said, "since when do people have the ultrasound after the blood test". I'm sitting there ready to have my blood collected after waiting half an hour, in my lunch break, and now this.

 

She took my blood anyway, and I phoned the doctors clinic afterwards and my doctor confirmed that she wanted me to have the blood test first, then a few days after that, have the ultrasound to look at the translucency thing.  I was right all along and I'd followed my doctors instructions properly.  I had it all sorted out and organised already.  It was really hard to get an appointment at the ultrasound clinic too because they only operate a certain number of days and I had a window of about 5 days to have all this done.

 

I dislike it when I feel confident in myself in something I am doing, and then someone comes and throws a spanner in the works and then I begin to doubt myself when in actual fact I had it right all along  :-(  

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