July Postpartum Chat - Page 2

[MaryElizabeth]

Jenni--- Things any better with your mom yet? I've been thinking about you today! Prayers :)

I think I am starting to figure out all the tricks to making Finn happy... now, if I could just get him to sleep for more than 2 hours <---- this usually includes him fussing and grunting for at least 15 min going to sleep and waking up. My arms are going to be SO buff from patting his back endlessly.

Does feeding on your side at night cause problems? BC I swear that he can't get enough and he gets super gassy..... this is disappointing :( I hate having to sit up to feed him.... staring into the darkness all alone.... I've also started giving him a bottle sometime at night bc it allows him to get a good amount of milk all at one time ...and as long as I give him some gripe water and a good burp... he sleeps for a good 2 hours. <--- I have just jinxed myself :(

Any tips for cradle cap?

[JosieAK]

With DD, I used oil (olive or coconut) to gently loosen cradle cap then gently rubbed it off.  That was fine until at 4 months, all her hair came off with a particularly bad case of it!  I think, though, that it was just loose, because my MIL said her boys lost their hair at 4 months.  It came back at 5 months though.  She wore a lot of bonnets while waiting for it to come back!

[Mamatoabunch]

Originally Posted by OrangeMoon 

Hey Mama's! I hope everyone is feeling well! I completely haven't been around in the two weeks since DD was born but I have a question. When does one's cervix tend to move back up? I ask this because we dtd for the first time at two weeks post partum because I was totally feeling up for it - I had felt up for it for like a week actually but I waited just because I felt like I should. Anywho, it went well but I noticed that DH is still hitting my cervix. It's only low enough to be hit like that when I'm about to have a baby. So my question is, was that happening because we dtd sooner, or am I starting to have a partial prolapse issue or something? I've been doing some squats but not a lot. My hunch is it's fine but I just wanted to hear from others, thanks!

We usually have done it 2 weeks PP, same this time. If you have desire it won't hurt a thing. Your body is still returning to its prepreg state so keep that in mind. 

[Mamatoabunch]

I haven't been posting here in a while. Every time I sit here at my computer someone comes to talk to me. I feel so annoyed. My desk used to be in our dining room so kind of away from "the action" and now our dining and living room is a combo so no buffer zone it seems. I have a netbook upstairs, but I hate using it.

I have been having a hard time emotionally, we are still unsettled w/ moving and now dh had to go back to NM b/c of work. His leave ran out and he has not received a job transfer like he thought he would, by the time his baby leave ran out. I feel so upset and cry multiple times a day and now I have to do everything and my older girls have to help more too. I just feel crappy and mad about all of this. 

Yesterday I too all the kids to Mass and to get groceries since most stores are 45 minutes away, I had to combine the trip instead of leaving some older ones w/ the younger ones b/c of the distance. It seems wasteful on gas to go another day for convenience of not shopping w/ little ones. Eiley and Finnian were terrible at the store we stopped at before coming home and then three screamed all the way home. 

We are also having trouble w/ the renters who were supposed to be moving in July 1st, putting more money stress on us as well. I honestly feel like everything sucks and yet I am well, my baby is well, my kids are well, we have a new roof on our house here, etc, the I feel guilty for feeling weepy, sad when things aren't THAT bad. I just miss my dh terribly, don't know how long this separation will be, but am mad at him too. Ugh!

[OrangeMoon]

Thanks for the responses Mama's! I'm glad to hear it's normal. I do need to get better about doing squats though. 

JosieAK~ the only way it's happening is because my 2.5 yo DS still naps. And DD sleeps like all the time during the day so they usually both nap at the same time. I've been going to bed early with DD, and DH has been putting DS to sleep who is a night owl so there's no way it could happen then. 

In sleep news I've found that DD is awake like 5 hours in a 24 hour period, and when it all happens during the day she only wakes up to nurse at night, but like a third of the time two of the five hours are happening from like midnight to two am. Is anyone else having this type of pattern? She's a much better sleeper than DS was at this age though. The midnight to two am awake time doesn't bother me if I go to bed at like 9:00 pm, it's just hard because DS doesn't go to bed until 11:00 (I know, I know, he's a night owl though and it's just his way), so I feel like the awake time with her in the middle of the night equals me having less time with DS. The nights where she is awake from like 6:00 to 10:00 pm are perfect. If only it was that way every night, le sigh.

[OrangeMoon]

Oh Annabelle, I'm so sorry :-( I would be a complete wreck if my DH wasn't around. Don't feel bad for feeling what you're feeling!

[tracymom1]

Oh AB, love you mama! Praying for you always.

[jshannyn519]

The mere thought of sex makes me want to vomit. I have zero desire, which is probably a good thing since I don't have a partner. lol  I've reached the point where I don't want anyone to touch me, ever, so sex would be lots of touching that I don't want.

Annabelle I'm so sorry to hear that your husband had to leave for work and that you're having stress. Adjusting to a new little person is hard enough without adding in your move, the new house, financial issues, and then your husband being away on top of it all. Hugs!

MaryE, I have a hard time nursing on my side because Ezrah can't get a good latch. The angle is all weird and I end up having to smoosh the top of my breast out of the way so he can breathe. I've developed a system where I'll toss a big pillow on top of my sleeping pillow and then nurse in a semi-reclined position. Ezrah is basically lying on my stomach and kind of on top of my breast while he nurses. But it works out well and I don't have to move much so we're both happy.

Thank you for asking about the situation with my mom. They're sort of getting better... we need to sit down and talk but haven't had time. And she's working today so I'll have to try and talk this evening. There is hope for us staying, but we have to talk and then I have to follow through with whatever, which is really hard for me. My ADHD causes major troubles with consistency and follow-through, which is affecting not only my parenting of the big kids, but their attitudes as well. I spent a couple of hours today making schedules that we can follow and hopefully that will help. I struggle mightily in the summer because I don't have the normal time constraints that I have during the school year. I'm still not done with the schedules, but I need to sit down with the kids and talk a few more things out before they're done all the way.

[Snowflake777]

Originally Posted by OrangeMoon 

Oh Annabelle, I'm so sorry :-( I would be a complete wreck if my DH wasn't around. Don't feel bad for feeling what you're feeling!

What Orangemoon said.

I'm in a mood today. Being constantly covered in baby puke and stale milk is getting me down. Baby girl is in "only mama can hold me" mode. I'm all touched-out and badly need a shower. The house is a mess and DD1 is living on nothing but cake and juice.

[Momsteader]

Snowflake, haven't read the whole thread, but we have a local friend whose mother is Polish. The little guy's name is "Miles" but she and her Polish relatives call him Milosh (not sure on spelling, just heard it pronounced) the Polish equivalent of Miles. So he essentially has two names. He's 7 or 8 and seems a-okay ;) So, I'd say if you could find a name like that...you could easily do 'both'.

I definitely don't want to fast forward the newborn stage! I love the cuddly, almost 100% mama time of the stage :) It probably also helps that I have a dreamy, perfect newborn and I'm scared he'll turn into a fussy 6 week old LOL  He goes down at 9 pm in the basinette and sleeps at least 2-3 hrs. Then up to just nurse and down for at least two more 3 hr stretches sleeping with me. Awaking 'snacky' about 6 am and I get up and my older son out the door by 7 am for Driver's Ed and do our chicken chores (we have close to 100 at the moment). Then, I'll usually lie down again with him until 930 or 1000 when my next son wakes up and then we're up for the day. He'll take a good 2 hr nap about that point in the basinette up again eating and looking around. Then down around 300 for another 2 hours. So, I am getting plenty of time to get things done and it seems to be running pretty smoothly around here.

Erigeron--good luck on CDing :)  I have cloth diapered all mine so LMK if you have questions.  I used the pack of sposies they gave up in the hospital and don't even have one in the house! I'm pretty 'hard core' though and even use them on trips and camping and everything LOL

[MaryElizabeth]

I don't know what has gotten into me but last week I made DH go out and buy sposies for both kids! I have the best stashes of dipes and all I want to do is sell them. I have this overwhelming need to make my life as easy as possible--- sposies, bottles, pre-made meals, paper plates..... SO not like me and making me feel released and guilty at the same time :( Letting Finn have a bottle once or twice a day has made me enjoy nursing again... I needed a break! I suppose I needed a break from the diaper laundry too... and it's nice to not have to "think" about which diaper to use. Does this make sense?

Annabelle--- I could NOT do what you do. You amaze me and especially with having your DH away.... I wouldn't make it. I count down the hours until DH comes home from work. I will definitely be praying for you... hang in there!

Jenni-- I really have to try a different position at night... hopefully yours will work! We know all about the ADHD around our house. Maybe with the new school year, everyone will find their groove again. Hope the talk goes well!

Went to Walmart today... had a creepy lady touching Finn and there was nothing I could do about it! Why do people think it's ok to touch even when the mother is pulling the baby away???

[erigeron]

The cloth diapers have kind of been a constant struggle. Partly because of wrangling them around the hip harness, partly because of trying to fold them in such a way that they contain messes and figuring out how to get the covers to contain anything the diapers don't, partly because she has developed a habit of trying to hit a freshly pinned diaper. Hubby changes more diapers than me and I think he is burnt out on cloth after 2 episodes today where she went through at least 2 fresh diapers while on the changing table. We took her to church today and he left at the beginning of the sermon to change her, and resurfaced after at least 10 minutes with a long tale of repeated soiling of diapers. Then she needed to eat, so I missed about 90% of the rest of church. We did get to introduce her to everyone, though, and they were all enchanted by her. (of course they were, by then she was well-fed and back to sleeping like an angel!)

Last night she vomited tons for the 2nd night in a row. She hasn't acted in any way sick otherwise and her temperature was normal. Hubby is concerned that we may be overfeeding her. I'm pretty sure it's impossible to overfeed a breastfed baby, but I do think I don't necessarily need to jump on her hunger cues as zealously as I have been. I hate the idea of her going hungry, but if she makes a couple of gestures like she's hungry maybe I should wait a minute to see if she just zonks back out or if she continues to act hungry. I'm definitely done trying to wake her up to feed before dinner, though. We tried that the last 2 nights (the idea being that if we could get her to eat then I could eat without being interrupted) and it was hopeless. She will wake up and feed when she wants to, and even if I succeed in getting her to wake up, she won't eat if she's not in the mood, so it's pretty much a waste of time.

DTD... hmm, 2 wks post-partum and can't imagine it at this point. I have wanted to fool around with my husband and we have a little bit, but that particular part of my body feels mostly like a giant black hole with a sign on it reading "don't even think about it".

I can't nurse on my side either, much as I wish I could. You try it with a baby whose legs need to stay bent at the knees and splayed out to the side. Not so practical! :/ I'm hoping when she is better at holding her head up we can get better at nursing with her lying on top of me.

[swimming-duck]

Haven't read the whole thread...just the last few comments. I'm preparing for the point at which I become postpartum and will jump into the convo fully. And I guess I also need some way to get my mind off of things and pass the time...lol!

Anyways, Erigeron - the CDing does get easier. Are you doing only pins or do you use any snappies? I've never used pins, so I don't know much about keeping mess in. But I will tell you that I used snappies with DS and was able to get the PF super snug that way. I didn't usually have a problem except when he was super little, but that's because he only pooped a couple of times a week and would bust out of anything I put him. But anyways, as she gets bigger you'll be able to make it longer in between diapers and that will make your life easier. But honestly, if it really gets to you and you need a break feel free to mix in some sposies.

MaryE - sounds like you're just overwhelmed and need a break! My guess is you'll be ready to go back to your usual ways after allowing yourself a break on some things and as you get used to juggling two kiddos. I'm going to be in your boat soon and I can imagine that I too will feel overwhelmed! And EEK about the creepy lady. Yeah - I've always hated it when perfect strangers felt the need to touch. Looking and smiling and gaga eyes are one thing. Touching is NOT okay with me!

[tracymom1]

Originally Posted by erigeron 

DTD... hmm, 2 wks post-partum and can't imagine it at this point. I have wanted to fool around with my husband and we have a little bit, but that particular part of my body feels mostly like a giant black hole with a sign on it reading "don't even think about it".

This exactly. I was feeling around where my tear is the other day and I have a feeling it will be a while before I am able to be comfortable with it. After just feeling the area with my fingers to see how separated it really is, I was sore the rest of the day. It has healed well, but I think it needs a couple more weeks to desensitize.

erigeron, all my kids have been pukers. DD was the worst - she would have so much vomit (not spit up) after eating that I seriously wondered how she was getting any calories. The vomiting was mostly at night and it freaked me out for a long time. Our doc said it was fine - that it might be reflux, but might just be a pukey baby - so we held off on meds and she was fine by about 2 months. DS2 is a bit of a puker, too, but not every single night like DD was. I actually do think he overeats at times and vomits up what his belly can't take. He has a TON of gas so we started him on the Neonatal HCL probiotic and some gripe water. Seems to have calmed his belly down a bit.

Jenni, I hope everything goes well with your mom. I totally know what it feels like to have to depend on a parent for something so major as housing and it can be so hard to keep the waters calm when living with other family members. I know this may not be the most helpful advice, but I think if I were in your shoes, I would get pretty hardcore with the older kids. Start taking things away and following through with consequences when they don't live up to their household expectations. Maybe a couple of weeks of being really, really tough will establish a new norm. Take this with a grain of salt, though, since mine are all still little so I haven't been in your shoes yet.

Well, 14 hours with a newborn and two toddlers has driven me to the ibuprofen. I don't usually take stuff for headaches, but I know I won't get any sleep tonight and my head is pounding. Wish me luck - Jude is still waking a lot and I could really use some more time in between night feedings (like at least an hour or two! please Jude!!).

[Smokering]

Annabelle, that sounds awful. :( Hope you get your husband back soon!

I was getting pretty depressed at the end of last week, so this week I've decided to turn over a new leaf. Limited internet, lots of housework, spending time with DD, creative stuff... Thus far today I've started planning out a short story (which I've already written, actually, but I want to re-write it and make it good, so as to enter it in a competition next time a short story competition with an awesome prize comes along, because I always mean to do that...); written a thank you letter to Grandma for some baby clothes she sent; and fed us a breakfast and a lunch that were semi-nutritious. Given that we've recently been getting up so late that breakfast is lunch, this is something of an achievement. :p Once DD finishes her soup, we'll all go and have a big long nap while DH works; and after that, if I haven't run out of oomph, I might have a stab at making myself a breastfeeding-friendly top.

I was going to go to the park too, but the weather's turned icky. Oh well. Should get off the internet now and unload the dishwasher while DD eats... which, judging by the singing, she isn't so much doing.

[jshannyn519]

Originally Posted by MaryElizabeth 

I don't know what has gotten into me but last week I made DH go out and buy sposies for both kids! I have the best stashes of dipes and all I want to do is sell them. I have this overwhelming need to make my life as easy as possible--- sposies, bottles, pre-made meals, paper plates..... SO not like me and making me feel released and guilty at the same time :( Letting Finn have a bottle once or twice a day has made me enjoy nursing again... I needed a break! I suppose I needed a break from the diaper laundry too... and it's nice to not have to "think" about which diaper to use. Does this make sense?

Jenni-- I really have to try a different position at night... hopefully yours will work! We know all about the ADHD around our house. Maybe with the new school year, everyone will find their groove again. Hope the talk goes well!

Went to Walmart today... had a creepy lady touching Finn and there was nothing I could do about it! Why do people think it's ok to touch even when the mother is pulling the baby away???

Things usually are much better organization wise during the school year. I have zero free time, but I'm as organized as can be!

I'm still using sposies. I did one CD one time and he was still too little and it leaked all over the place. Yuck. Now that he's hit the 10# mark I think they'll fit much better. But honestly, I don't know that I'm up for the extra work. I'm trying to figure out how I'll add in the extra laundry and diaper changes with my school schedule and I don't know that it will work. I'm going to start using the CDs at home and see how it goes. I might surprise myself!

So far I have escaped total strangers touching Ezrah. I wear him a lot in my Faurgo so I think that has a lot to do with it. And I think I maintained my "Don't touch me" expression from pregnancy so people are scared and they stay away!

Originally Posted by erigeron 

Last night she vomited tons for the 2nd night in a row. She hasn't acted in any way sick otherwise and her temperature was normal. Hubby is concerned that we may be overfeeding her. I'm pretty sure it's impossible to overfeed a breastfed baby, but I do think I don't necessarily need to jump on her hunger cues as zealously as I have been. I hate the idea of her going hungry, but if she makes a couple of gestures like she's hungry maybe I should wait a minute to see if she just zonks back out or if she continues to act hungry. I'm definitely done trying to wake her up to feed before dinner, though. We tried that the last 2 nights (the idea being that if we could get her to eat then I could eat without being interrupted) and it was hopeless. She will wake up and feed when she wants to, and even if I succeed in getting her to wake up, she won't eat if she's not in the mood, so it's pretty much a waste of time.

Ezrah will go through little bouts of barfing everywhere for a day and then stop. He spits up a little bit here and there, but yesterday it was copious amounts of baby barf and it was ALL OVER everywhere! I gave up trying to keep my clothes clean after the second hosing and I just wore the same clothes all day. They need to be washed today or my whole room will start to smell like sour milk. He's not running a fever either and he seemed otherwise fine, if maybe a little needier than usual. I think that maybe I ate something that upset his stomach (no idea what it would be) or he was just having an off day. He's fine today so who knows? The thing I hate about the big puking is when it comes out of his nose! It freaks me out every time. And then I have to suction his nose so he can breathe, which he hates so he screams the whole time.  :(

Originally Posted by tracymom1 

Jenni, I hope everything goes well with your mom. I totally know what it feels like to have to depend on a parent for something so major as housing and it can be so hard to keep the waters calm when living with other family members. I know this may not be the most helpful advice, but I think if I were in your shoes, I would get pretty hardcore with the older kids. Start taking things away and following through with consequences when they don't live up to their household expectations. Maybe a couple of weeks of being really, really tough will establish a new norm. Take this with a grain of salt, though, since mine are all still little so I haven't been in your shoes yet.

Yeah, I'm cracking down BIG TIME on the big kids. I'm not tolerating any more of the half-done chores. I don't have the time or energy to follow behind them and fix it, and really what does that teach them? I made a schedule yesterday for us, one for each day, color-coded with a daily chore for each of us to complete and with time built in for going on family walks, doing something fun out of the house each morning, and project time and free time in the afternoon. I'm already off schedule by about 2 hours... but it's a work in progress! The hardest thing that I'm dealing with right now is my son's totally crappy adolescent attitude. I want to super glue his mouth shut so he can't talk back to me anymore!
 

[Snowflake777]

Another rough day today. DD1 has been a real handful and DH is freaking out a bit. I'm sure he wishes he were back at work. Baby girl has been super fussy and only wants me, which means I'm not much help with DD1. 

On top of that, my mother is still here and she's driving DH up the wall. She really does try hard to be helpful, but she doesn't know how things run (understandably!) and a lot of what she does ends up being really unhelpful. We've repeatedly asked her to stop doing certain chores, but she insists on doing them anyway. I don't know what else I can say to her at the point without massively hurting her feelings. At the same time, I understand DH's frustration. I'm also a bit sad that I feel like I've hardly seen her since she's been her, and she's going home in just over a week. :(

[Momsteader]

Jenni and those with pukey babies, will they take pacifiers?  My second son had a really strong urge to be sucking for comfort at the breast which only overstimulated my supply and then he'd get too much milk and vomit it all back up and of course want more since his tummy was empty. He didn't like to take a paci very well, but I could get him to take it at the breast. I'd just hold him to my breast with paci in his mouth and he'd eventually start sucking on paci and settle down. Less puking that way and a baby who got more sucking which was comforting to him.  I'd also get him to take the paci similar way but upright in a wrap sling and the combined swaddling/upright/sucking helped with the pukies too. I think it's a bit of reflux with some babies until they get a little older.

[jshannyn519]

Originally Posted by CrunchyClark 

Jenni and those with pukey babies, will they take pacifiers?  My second son had a really strong urge to be sucking for comfort at the breast which only overstimulated my supply and then he'd get too much milk and vomit it all back up and of course want more since his tummy was empty. He didn't like to take a paci very well, but I could get him to take it at the breast. I'd just hold him to my breast with paci in his mouth and he'd eventually start sucking on paci and settle down. Less puking that way and a baby who got more sucking which was comforting to him.  I'd also get him to take the paci similar way but upright in a wrap sling and the combined swaddling/upright/sucking helped with the pukies too. I think it's a bit of reflux with some babies until they get a little older.

Yes, he does take a pacifier. He's not a super huge fan of it, but he'll take it. I usually have to do what you did, offer it while he's still at the breast or upright in his carrier or me holding him. He will take it if he's in the carseat (in the car) and he's sleepy. His spitting up seems to come and go. He'll go days and days and spit up only a couple of times, just a small amount, and then he'll have a day where he's seriously barfing all over the place several times a day. I've learned to move him into an upright or more upright position after he eats and not really burp him, just rub his back. That seems to help things stay down better, especially on the big barfing days.

[MaryElizabeth]

Thank goodness Finn doesn't puke... I remember the constant old milk smell... ugh! Anyone else constantly sweating? I usually don't sweat, and if I do, I rarely smell.... but ewww! I stink! All the time! I even have a rash from staying so sweaty at night. This is gross. I am covering myself in baby powder from now on.