Who must give consent when a baby is to be circumcised? - Page 3

[3timesamom]

My husband said that our son would ABSOLUTELY be circ'd. I told him No. I went on to have my son in a hospital. They wanted the 300 up front for the surgery. I never told DH that. Being unprepared it just didn't happen. With our next son he didn't even talk about it. Further I would have simply said no to the circ had they asked.

[mare54]

I am so glad that some insurance companies are withdrawing coverage for such a needless surgery!  That could make the difference between just doing it without some thought, which is a very positive thing!  But I also think that it should be the duty of a hospital to fully inform parents about all the facts regarding such a needless surgery.

[Pirogi]

I guess I am a bit confused as to why OP is taking it personally that someone is questioning the idea that a loving, respectful husband/partner would take a child and perform genital surgery without the mother's knowledge and against her expressed wishes.  It isn't a commentary on the OP at all.  

Imagine that someone posted a question like this: "How can I make sure that my partner doesn't take my daughter to an underground ritual circumciser and allow excision of her clitoral hood?  I don't think he would do this, but you can never be too sure, and I just want to be prepared."  Would anyone think this was ok?  That it was within the realm of normal?  The ONLY difference here is that in the US, female circumcision is illegal, and male circumcision is not.  

If a husband would covertly hand over his child to a ritual circumciser, there is something wrong.  Even if it stems from his own betrayal years ago.  It still isn't normal.  

I am not suggesting that anyone leave anyone else.  What I am suggesting is that the fact that this is even on the OP's radar is a commentary on the relationship.  This needs to be addressed.

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

We do not allow discusions or reference to religion in TCAC. Therefore I have removed numerous posts on this thread.

[ElliesMomma]

Originally Posted by Pirogi 

I guess I am a bit confused as to why OP is taking it personally that someone is questioning the idea that a loving, respectful husband/partner would take a child and perform genital surgery without the mother's knowledge and against her expressed wishes.  It isn't a commentary on the OP at all.  

Imagine that someone posted a question like this: "How can I make sure that my partner doesn't take my daughter to an underground ritual circumciser and allow excision of her clitoral hood?  I don't think he would do this, but you can never be too sure, and I just want to be prepared."  Would anyone think this was ok?  That it was within the realm of normal?  The ONLY difference here is that in the US, female circumcision is illegal, and male circumcision is not.  

If a husband would covertly hand over his child to a ritual circumciser, there is something wrong.  Even if it stems from his own betrayal years ago.  It still isn't normal.  

I am not suggesting that anyone leave anyone else.  What I am suggesting is that the fact that this is even on the OP's radar is a commentary on the relationship.  This needs to be addressed.

what the OP is facing in her husband's reluctance to leave their son intact is a COMMON situation with circumcised men. it's a situation faced by many women who post on these boards. you are right, there IS something wrong. but it's a problem common in our CULTURE. i certainly would not single out the OP and her husband as having a particularly "wrong" situation.

[1love4ever]

Thanks.  It really bothers me that people on here feel the need to attack others who are simply looking for a little help.  I am certain that many people will see the kind of responses that I and others have gotten, and choose not to post a question that they need help with because they do not want to get attacked!  When, if people could just learn to be nice about things, maybe we could have helped that other person, had they posted, and saved a child from harm.  I think all you are doing by attacking me is scaring other people away and making them think that maybe your cause is not such a big deal if you act so immature about it.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

It can be hard to keep a level head about this issue. The thought of someone we love and trust going behind our backs to do this to our ds's causes a very real visceral response. I personally have had nightmares about this sort of thing and work up crying. Just looking at my ds and thinking of anyone doing that to him makes me feel rage. My dh never threatened it but he was in favor of circ and we had a few very teary, on my part, discussions about it but thankfully he grew up with a few relatives who where intact and he has a circ complication so he was willing to let it go.