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post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 

 

 


Edited by thecountrymouse - 7/17/11 at 3:21pm
post #2 of 10

I was clear with my DH from the beginning-- I told him I needed his support more than ever, and he would need to step it up and do stuff that I normally took care of.  My hubby does well with clear expectations. 

He has been way more helpful since I had that talk with him (at around 5 weeks pregnant).  He understands now that I am just exhausted, and I simply cannot do all the stuff I used to do.  That (hopefully) will change in the next few months, but right now, I am completely exhausted all the time, and can barely keep up with the kids, let alone the housework!

post #3 of 10
DH and I have been pretty good lately. One thing that I really hate is that he works manual labor, so pretty much every time I say "I'm tired" he chuckles and has an attitude that is like "pssht...youre tired? Ive been working for the past 14 hours". It gets old.
post #4 of 10

things around our house would be a whole lot better if i felt like DTD.  

even though i am trying very hard to pretend like i would not rather fall asleep at 8.  poor dh, he spends all day with a demanding screaming toddler and then i don't even want to hang out with him (well, i do want to, but i'd rather sleep) much less do it.

post #5 of 10

My DH sounds similar to yours. We aren't really the kind of couple who sits down and discusses our feelings, marriage or future. It's just NOT us. I don't think it makes us a bad couple, I think we just found eachother and are really similarly non-emotional people. But with that said, I am pretty much also a "manwife" (with less demand than you living in the city, but more than the average wife), and had to be pretty clear with him that I NEEDED help. I tried to give him hints, let him know I was struggling, it didn't help. I had to sit down and say "I feel awful. I can't do this alone. Either help me, or I'm going to nag you to death." redface.gif He got the point. 

 

The next day he let me sleep at 6 pm until 7 the next day, put both boys to bed (so MY job), got up in the morning, made them breakfast... which is a lot in our house! Don't get me wrong, he's a great dad, but I'm kind of a control freak and would rather do things my way. Going on baby #3, that needs to change. 

post #6 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by hildare View Post

things around our house would be a whole lot better if i felt like DTD.

even though i am trying very hard to pretend like i would not rather fall asleep at 8. poor dh, he spends all day with a demanding screaming toddler and then i don't even want to hang out with him (well, i do want to, but i'd rather sleep) much less do it.

This is also my situation... And I feel bad but I'd really rather sleep!!!!
post #7 of 10

yeah, sex has not been on the menu here, which has made DH antsy and I feel bad but I just don't feel sexy!

 

I am more irritable now so I did tell DH I need him to be the bigger person and take my irritations in stride (in stead of responding in kind!) and he is understanding of that.


Also, he is incredibly happy with this pregnancy (we essentially did this at his request) so he is being EXTREMELY loving towards me, which is so nice.  I mean, he usually is anyway but he has stepped it up.

 

But yeah, I don't feel like a great wife really, with my volatile emotions and my exhaustion.

post #8 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post

DH and I have been pretty good lately. One thing that I really hate is that he works manual labor, so pretty much every time I say "I'm tired" he chuckles and has an attitude that is like "pssht...youre tired? Ive been working for the past 14 hours". It gets old.


My DH does that sometimes too, even though he doesn't even do manual labor.  I just tell him to talk to me about being tired after his body has built a human being from scratch.

post #9 of 10

DH and I are close, and always have been. We started out as a long distance relationship, and our first year of friendship was over the phone, then when we started dating we only saw each other once a month or every other month, so we've always been talkers. We are both really excited about having a baby, and we'd decided to try so, it was expected. We rarely ever fight, I have issues with yelling so even out fights aren't what most people call a fight. We talk things out, and he is very understanding. I consider myself very lucky. I'm close like that with my entire family too, it's stronger with DH, but I come from a very large, yet close family, and it took him some time to get used to that. He feels just as bad about the stacked up laundry as I do, cause without me even asking he's decided to help out around the house even though we went with the "traditional house wife" way and he works and I stay home.

 

We're not perfect, we do have fights and disagreements, just not as often as most of our friends seem to.

post #10 of 10
Thread Starter 

I always try to focus on the positive.  I am getting so emotional lately and it's hard to see past how I am feeling.  My husband does what he can.  He actually does a lot of the grocery shopping and cleans the kitchen several nights a week.  He doesn't do home repairs, but whatever.  He has been taking care of our chickens because they don't seem to like me anymore.  The two of us are on the same team, we have the same life goals and we love our little family.  I need to count my blessings and lighten up.  

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