or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Talk Amongst Ourselves › Personal Growth › Turns out I DO have a backbone!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Turns out I DO have a backbone!

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 

I tend to be a people-pleaser, and I avoid conflict like the plague.  Because of this, I've spent a long time being walked on. 


This morning though, my neighbor took it on himself to wait until the kids and I went out and he set up a fence line inside of our property (by about 20 feet.)  He then mowed down my daughter's little wild area (a science experiment named 'bugland') she's been visiting daily all summer and broke her scooter- I suspect he ran over it with the mower or threw it across the yard- I found it in two pieces. 


When confronted, he started yelling and claiming he had every right.  I called the Sheriff.  For me, that's HUGE.  I was once assaulted by someone impersonating a police officer.  When reported, the police dismissed me as lying.  Since then I've been terrified of police involvement- I don't even drive a mile over the speed limit- ever!


The Sheriff agreed with me, and made the neighbor take down the line.  If he wants to contest it he has to hire (at his expense) a survey company.  The GPS the sheriff was carrying agreed with the established line- obviously, only a legal survey can tell for sure.  


I filed a separate claim for the property destruction (DD's scooter) and the neighbor was charged with trespassing.   It helped that he claimed she'd never ridden her scooter all summer and on the front page of last week's newspaper was a picture of DD and her best friend at the park using the scooter.  On her knee was the scab healing from a fall she took that day- and the reason she'd put the scooter away (carefully near a tree at 'bugland' .)  The Sheriff pointed out that if they wanted to lie, they probably shouldn't do so to him when the proof is a front page picture in the newspaper.


The sad thing though is that if he'd simply been civil and knocked on the door to say he believed the line was in a different place, I wouldn't have argued, I would simply have looked into it when I was able to.  Because he decided to sneak and lie, I decided not to be walked on. 

post #2 of 17

thumb.gif  Good job!   You know he messed with your daughter's stuff and brought out the mama bear in you!  Nothing like having children to encourage you to do something brave. 

post #3 of 17
WooHoo to you for standing up for you and your daughter. Poor bugland greensad.gif
post #4 of 17

Wow! Good job sticking up for your family! I am so sorry about your past experience with the police hug2.gif


And what a jerk! Who breaks a child's toy? 

post #5 of 17

what a great example you've set for your daughter!



post #6 of 17
Thread Starter 

I am pretty happy with myself.  Of course- I went out for my son's birthday dinner tonight and when I came home, the neighbors had put blankets up to block all their windows from view and have parked their travel trailer in between their place and ours as well.  Clearly I am one scary five foot one inch tall woman!  It's kind of creepy, but whatever works for them, I guess.  


I was good until I checked the violent offender registry and found this guy listed.  Sadly, his sentence has expired so no details.. 



post #7 of 17

You're awesome.  :)  I'm a people-pleaser myself and don't normally have the guts to confront people, but it always feels good when I gather up the courage to do so.

post #8 of 17

the sheriff probably already knows he's on the violent offenders list, they probably have past infractions on their computers. teach your daughter (and any other kids you might have) how to stay safe and what to do if the neighbor tries to talk to them or otherwise engage with them.

post #9 of 17


Clearly I am one scary five foot one inch tall woman!



Sadly MDC doesn't sell member title gifts anymore, otherwise this morning you would have wakened to your new title,


One Scary Little Mama With a Back Bone  orngbiggrin.gif

post #10 of 17

Good for you!


candle.gif Bugland.

post #11 of 17


post #12 of 17

GOOD FOR YOU!!! That is awesome! And how APALLING, the things he did. He sounds like a miserable person, and someone who doesn't deserve a good neighbor like you. I would have been so livid. I had a neighbor once that backed into my car and broke my tail light and dented my bumper and tried to deny it was her when the same exact paint on her car was on my car and where her car hit mine she had paint scratched off. Nice try! So I filed for her to pay for my damages and she did just that and I got nothing but dirty looks from her from then on, but I didn't care. If she had told me the truth to begin with, I probably wouldn't have worried about filing any reports or anything. She did this even after I helped her get HER car out of the snowbank, and after I helped her file a report of police brutality when they were unnecessarily rough on her partner when they arrested her wrongfully. Some people are just jerks because they lead miserable lives and all you have to do is live better than them and keep on smiling.

post #13 of 17
Thread Starter 

Oh my gosh- I went out this morning and came back to wooden stakes with flagging ape up in my yard.  Clearly this guy doesn't Get It.  I'm waiting until Monday morning  to  go to the county records building to pull any and all surveys conducted (so he can't claim he had one done) then will be asking the Sheriff to deal with him again.  


The really bizarre thing is that he is watching my house- and watching patterns in when we come and go.  Saturday mornings we usually go over to visit my family, and that's when he's doing these things.  Creepy to know how closely he's watching though! 

post #14 of 17

Blimey. That's just bizarre. Does he really think you'll go "Oh, my bad, shouldn't have gone out... I guess we'll just let you steal 20 feet of our property"? I mean, he KNOWS you're aware of the issue!

post #15 of 17
Thread Starter 

Oh my- now it's even MORE fun.  Having been ordered to take the fenceposts etc down two weeks ago by law enforcement, he put up the wooden stakes with flagging tape today.  Next, he mowed the lawn- including part of my property he wants to claim as his.  After that, he came and knocked on my door to tell me that he had 'measured again' and these were the lot  lines.  He states he refuses to pay $1500 for a survey but needs this figured out as he's about to build.  He wanted to know why *I* haven't paid for a survey.  I pulled out the map that I kept in the front of my car and SHOWED HIM where his property lines are- including the one that ends out in the street on his lot and he was annoyed. Since I refused to rise to his behavior, he finally stomped off saying he's "got a lawyer" on this thing (sure you do, the retainer would be more than the survey...)   He also claimed to have talked to the Sheriff about it, not knowing that said Sheriff serves on a committee with me, and a couple committees with my mother- we asked him about it last week when we all happened to be at a meeting together and told he us information in direct conflict with what this gentleman was claiming he'd said.  Ah, the fun. 


I was firm, and completely unemotional (not having been caught off guard this time, that was easier) and was civil and firm.  He walked off with a flip of his hand and finger. 


Soo..  Monday morning I'll wander down and file for a restraining order to be put in place until this guy has a survey done.  :)



post #16 of 17

eyesroll.gifFun! This dude seems like a controlling  wild.gif  and he needs to leave you alone. Hope you get the restraining order.

post #17 of 17
Thread Starter 

Oh, I'm sure I'll get it, the situation meets the criteria, and with the violent offender status it will be pretty easy to say there is a need for it.  It's just crazy that it needs to go to that point over a foolish imaginary line on the ground. 




New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Personal Growth
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Talk Amongst Ourselves › Personal Growth › Turns out I DO have a backbone!