I just want to cry. (vent) - Page 4

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy 

Yes, sensory diet, I was googling that last night actually!! I just might start a thread when I back get home. It's hard because some of the things I feel would benefit him, he is not willing to participate in. Or he might be willing but only in inappropriate settings (like for ex. he is more comfortable at home but we have a very small house so active play is kind of limited indoors but he's not willing to do the same things out in the yard or at the park because he doesn't like the traffic noise or the people or the sun or the wind or the speck of dust or whatever).

wow. the sensory piece is huge for him.

I spent a lot of time getting my DD comfortable at the park. I figured out what time of day was best, which park was best, etc. We would go for short trips and just do one thing. Like we would go to the park at the same time every day for weeks and swing for 15 minutes. And then leave. I know that sounds crazy to people who haven't BTDT, but it worked. We were gradually able to build up to more time, more activities. It was an upward spiral, as she started getting what she needed, she was more comfortable getting what she needed.

But every kid is different. For some kids, brushing is really helpful. For others, a weighted vest. For some, things they can touch -- a bowl of dry cornmeal to play in, finger paint, etc.

Another book you might find massively helpful is Quirky Kids.

http://www.amazon.com/Quirky-Kids-Understanding-Helping-Doesnt/dp/0345451422

It's about the parenting side to having a child that is different, what therapies are out there, how parents feel, different stages of childhood, etc. It's like getting a big hug from a friend who has BTDT.

[FarmerBeth]

DS at that age (and now at 11!) needed lots of outdoor time in nature.  Outdoors in an urban area is still pretty difficult (actually, I get really freaked out by crowds and traffic, too, I don't know if I have a sensory issue or just complete lack of habituation).  Do you have a really quiet park or Public Gardens to go to?   Also, DS1 really relaxes playing with or in water, big bubble baths are a favorite.  So is silly putty, play dough and beeswax (actually, silly putty is also about the only thing that helps with the tics, too, and it has the added benefit of not seeming "little kiddy" for an 11 year old to mess with).  The sensory play actually became a major positive interest and he's quite the avid sculptor.  It all depends on your own child's quirks, though.  Some kids really hate water or sticky stuff so that would be an issue for them.

[crunchy_mommy]

He doesn't walk a ton... he's doing better lately but he still can't walk the way others his age do. He doesn't run either. (I'm talking when we're out -- he can and does do those things in the house!!) So it's hard to take him to a park or on a hike & let him walk/run around, no matter how quiet the park is, something always bothers him, if it's not random noises in the distance it's the tag on his hat or something. He doesn't like swinging or slides but he is obsesed with steering wheels so toddler parks with lots of cars are getting to be more fun (only one nearby & it's not open at convenient times though ). I think he would benefit from biking if he was tall enough to reach the pedals! He doesn't really like water or getting messy at all (though he does like MAKING messes!)

He DOES love fine motor work... he likes taking things apart, using tools, painting with a paint brush, locking/unlocking things... This is something I knew but reading some of your responses just made me realize the sensory connection. I just thought he liked fine motor stuff, not really thinking he NEEDS it for some sensory reason. This is definitely something I can try to incorporate into our days more. I picked up a zither (string instrument) from the thrift store and he LOVES that thing, probably because it combines fine motor skills with music & controlling noise himself. He actually played 2 bars of a song so maybe that's something we can continue to work on together, along with more painting and woodwork. Hard because he is so young that these things require very careful supervision (particularly the woodwork!) so it's hard to work up the energy but maybe it will pay off!!

[LadyCatherine185]

the strider balance bike we have has no pedals. ;) we got it for DS1 on his 2nd birthday (it is for kids ages 18ish months+).. they sit on the seat and run with the bike basically. If you go to the strider bike website (or even youtube) you can see videos of kids riding their striders. ;)

[meemee]

how about an ukelele?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5nTo6Msx1w

i was lucky crunchy. we had a unicef store near us and till they closed dd and i would buy one instrument every month. from all over the world. i could spend anything from $2 to $20.

http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=shaker+egg&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=shop&cid=7243020756188928405&sa=X&ei=HvogTvDmIebniALSv6DCAw&ved=0CD8Q8gIwAQ(beans in a bottle - would he like that)

the way i knew dd didnt get enough activity was if she couldnt fall asleep. she has always struggled to fall asleep but she would within half an hour to an hour. but without a sensory diet it would take her over 2 hours. even with lights out and quiet. 

[swd12422]

Crunchy, we have a (plastic) airplane that is held together with big plastic bolts. It came with a plastic drill with interchangeable bits (huge and plastic, not too sharp), and  you use it to screw/unscrew the bolts and take the pieces apart/put them together. DS loves it b/c he is a tinkerer, too! I hate that it's a big hunk of plastic, but he loves it so much I  think it's worth it. I was so grateful to find there are toys like that, b/c he will dismantle anything he can get his hands on. Maybe something like this would work for your DS, and it wouldn't require supervision like "real" wood working?

[crunchy_mommy]

He has a lot of toy tools (plastic and wooden, though most of the plastic ones are now broken & discarded!) and he does like them but he likes REAL tools and screws and nails so much better and is so much more attentive to them, the 'fake' ones just don't hold his attention for long (though longer than most other toys at least!) Maybe it's a texture thing, he really likes metal, maybe an erector set or something??? IDK but I'll think about this!!

Strider bike sounds awesome but laid off DH = no money, though I've been keeping an eye out at the thrift store for something I could maybe convert!! I'll definitely keep looking for more instruments too. I am worried I'll just keep buying STUFF and he still won't play with it but I guess I can just pass things on if it doesn't capture his attention. I got one of those lock boxes with various latches for a couple bucks and thought he'd LOVE it but he hasn't played with it much.

[Linda on the move]

Since he doesn't like getting messy, I'm wondering if he would like finger paint in a ziploc  baggie. Put a little paint in the baggie, seal it tight, lay it flat on the table, and he could squish it around without it touching him. You could use two colors and he could watch it mix.

side note - one of thing things that could push me round the bend when DD was little was other's complete lack of understanding that some things really didn't work for her. So many people have this idea that "it's fun to do X" and would want to force things on her that CLEARY were not *fun* for her. It used to make me so angry that they were so stuck in their own heads that they couldn't see that forcing her to do things for the sake of *fun* was a bit like torturing her.

Peace

[crunchy_mommy]

Yes -- exactly!! It's frustrating when people don't understand that not ALL kids like X, Y doesn't work for everyone, etc. And I try hard to stand up for him so no one forces him to do something he doesn't want to (a hard balancing act, because I do want to challenge him a *little*, you know?)

I will try the paint in a bag, he might like that!!!

[FarmerBeth]

If he likes fine motor stuff and music, a little thumb piano (kalimba) can be bought cheaply and has the added benefit of being pleasant sounding to you (try Lee Valley Tools).  If he enjoys fiddling with small things (my DS was like this, too, it's weird because he has awful hand writing but could spend hours bead stringing as a toddler), those orbs that you can fiddle with to make into different shapes (sorry I can't remember the name for this, you can find them a lot at discovery centres and museums) are great for when he needs to fiddle but it's a bad time to have multiple parts out.  Don't know if it would work for you, but we had some luck.  Also, those ride on toys where you just push with your feet to get about (we just got them second hand from someone) were good for play right in the driveway.  It might fill in the bike niche for a while without breaking the bank.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy 

 And I try hard to stand up for him so no one forces him to do something he doesn't want to (a hard balancing act, because I do want to challenge him a *little*, you know?)

I know! I know! 

When DD was little, I had a difficult time with challenging her because I'm such a softy. I really wished everything could have just be easy for her. But challenging her so she could work on her sensory issues, speech issues, etc was TOTALLY different than "everyone likes doing X, so we should make her do X so she'll have fun." 

I still challenge her when I think it's in her best interest. I made her find somewhere to volunteer this summer.

But I don't dictate to her what she is supposed to do for *fun.*  There is a line there, and it's gotten clearer for me as she's gotten older.

[coffeegirl]

Originally Posted by Dandelionkid 

The reason they took a picture is so it will last longer. I highly doubt this is normal, everyday for them :)

Yeah, and I bet money that was the "before" picture. People do like to show off on their blogs.