How to react??

[Elsbeth]

Hello,

I don't really now where to start... I have a friend who has made some rather harsh comments about my son. I thought I could trust her as she can me with her kids but I'm not so shore now!

He's 5 and she lost her temper with me about him. He said he had wet himself ( while she was minding him and I was helping her round her house..) but he had not, he ran to me in tears telling me this. He was not well at the time and it is very much my fault for going there in the first place. I was able too earn I little extra as things are tight and I thought it would be o.k!

She was so angry because he laid!!! And that it made her look bad and that he would walk all over me in the future etc,etc,etc..

He's a good boy. And it really hurts.

Many people think it's a bad idea that he's a single child. We moved a couple of years ago and it's been hard finding people we can trust. What hurts the most is that I feel I have failed him somehow... He doesn't have many friends because he's not in school jet and the move did not help.

He's a happy boy. We have a lovely time.

She has kids herself.

I'm feeling lonely and sad. When we're at her place she's different to him, cooler.

I don't what him to feel this energy. When I was little a felt every tiny thing....

To me, she is trying to act normal and as though it never happened. He likes to go there ( never alone!) but I can't help but feel that he's putting up with alot of misplaced negativity.

I don't really know what to do?

ThanksX

[Mulvah]

Originally Posted by Elsbeth 

Hello,

I don't really now where to start... I have a friend who has made some rather harsh comments about my son. I thought I could trust her as she can me with her kids but I'm not so shore now!

He's 5 and she lost her temper with me about him. He said he had wet himself ( while she was minding him and I was helping her round her house..) but he had not, he ran to me in tears telling me this. He was not well at the time and it is very much my fault for going there in the first place. I was able too earn I little extra as things are tight and I thought it would be o.k!

She was so angry because he laid!!! And that it made her look bad and that he would walk all over me in the future etc,etc,etc..

He's a good boy. And it really hurts.

Many people think it's a bad idea that he's a single child. We moved a couple of years ago and it's been hard finding people we can trust. What hurts the most is that I feel I have failed him somehow... He doesn't have many friends because he's not in school jet and the move did not help.

He's a happy boy. We have a lovely time.

She has kids herself.

I'm feeling lonely and sad. When we're at her place she's different to him, cooler.

I don't what him to feel this energy. When I was little a felt every tiny thing....

To me, she is trying to act normal and as though it never happened. He likes to go there ( never alone!) but I can't help but feel that he's putting up with alot of misplaced negativity.

I don't really know what to do?

ThanksX

From what I'm gathering, she got upset that he lied about wetting himself?  And, it sounds like she just told you how she felt about it?  If he likes going there, I can't imagine her "misplaced negativity" is bothering him, though I'm not sure there is enough information here to say that conclusively.

Do you deal with confrontation better face-to-face, writing a letter, over the phone, or...?  Choose whichever method is best for you and talk to her about the situation.  If you're interested in continuing the friendship, let her know what bothers you and see if you can come to an understanding between the two of you. 

Good luck.

[Thing1Thing2]

I agree with PP who said that you should talk to her. You mentioned twice that you feel like things are your fault. Do you place alot of blame on yourself for things? I'm sure you are doing the best you can for your son.

Do you have any other friends in the area?