Too close?? Crazy concept developed in the early 20th century by the first pediatricians --- male doctors who had never been mothers and who were simply agents of the newly developing formula industry. I think it's quite clear that babies have not been created to sleep alone; they universally try every way they know how to tell us this. They respond powerfully in so many ways to the nearness of a parent, and regular satisfaction of this instinctual need is powerfully confirmed to create more independent, secure adults. A refreshing relief from archaic Freudian psychology, these neuro-hormonal-psychology findings create the basis of attachment parenting.
It's entirely common for any baby who has access to their natural source for protection and comforting to rely on it to satisfy their needs. Babies also clearly prefer to eat often, day and night. This concept of "sleeping through the night" is a terrible term constantly batted around by pediatricians, giving parents unnatural goals.
All this said, having lost easy, close access to the rest of our tribe, many parents find it difficult to be the whole village to their child and should not feel guilty for this. I suggest you first look at your own needs and baby's needs, independent of outside concepts and judgments, and see whether you still really need to reduce your baby's requests for regular nourishment, comforting, closeness, and protection. Remember that these early years are incredibly short and sweet and you will soon be longing for them. If the truth is that you just plain need more sleep, yes, you will want to try for some changes, as attachment parenting is nothing if the parents cannot also have their needs met.
Many cosleeping families find it easier when one or both parents go to sleep with the baby; family bedtime being maybe 9:30 to 11pm. This later bedtime for baby sometimes develops naturally with child-led sleep schedules, as children typically have a long nap in the afternoon. This practice prevents the frequent returns to the baby in the late evening and then having to get up again, already partly sleepy now yourself. I know that many parents wish for some alone time before going to bed themselves and they usually need to work a little harder to gain some of this time. I don't want to be telling you that you have to follow any certain practices. You need to find what is best for yourselves, giving baby a little priority. I just wish to encourage you to look at the situation through different glasses before deciding whether changes are needed.
If available, father is a great tool for encouraging some night weaning. Your baby is also old enough to understand things you say to him, and frequent repetition of gentle messages will often sink in over time. Let him know that you are very close and that he is very safe. A gradual transition toward a schedule that works better for all of you should be doable with most babies, if needed.
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