Where did we go wrog?

[Chloe 777]

I started EC with my son when he was 6 months.  We did really well, right from the start.  The only time he wet his diaper was at night.  We had almost no misses at all during the day.  We got to the point where he was actually asking to go.  He would say kaka, both for pooping and peeing.

Until he started resisting going to the potty.  At first I thought it was a phase, or a strike, and I just gave him time.  But it's been months and it only gets worse.  He now never pees in the potty.  Only in the morning when he's still kind of sleepy and sits on it for a long time while I give him toys and books to look at.  (he 's now 15 months).  But sometimes like today, he won't even go in the morning.  He sat on it for a long time, and then he got up and peed on the floor, and that's what he always does. 

One thing that makes me hopeful is that he almost always wakes up with a dry diaper, in the morning, and after naps, so I guess that's a good sign, but why doesn't he want to go on the potty?  Or on the toilet, or anywhere else except the floor

With my first child, I started EC when she was over a year, and by 15 months she's was almost completely out of diapers.  I don't understand this resistance, but I don't want to push him at all.  I just feel a little dissappointed.

Any advice?

[zoebird]

first boys are (notoriously) different. girls seem well on it, and boys are more 'meh' about it. my guy was, really. lol

so, some thoughts. we never had a little potty and we held him over until he was about 1.5/2 yrs old. i don't know if it made a difference, but there was no just sitting on the potty and what not. at one point, he would use that to get our attention, rather than simply asking for our attention, which we took to mean that we needed to give him more attention. LOL 

we had to stop talking while on the toilet during this time, and then making a concerted effort to give him more attention around that.

after this, around 2, he started to go mostly on his own (needed help with garments), and at 2.5 was basically completely independent. my friend's daughter was independent at 2-ish. she needs a reminder now and again (as typical for the age), but was ahead of the curve, you know? ahead of most boys anyway. :)

he's a different kid. just try new things and keep working at it.

[tri31]

Hi there! You didn't go wrong. You are right about the dry diapers being a good sign. He needs to have control over the process. It's tough, being a personal (potty) trainer. My LO is 16 months, and his brother was signing and pottying more consistantly at this age,too. It's all good, we all learn our own way. "Congratulations" potty on the floor in the bathroom. Your in the right room, half way there!

[waiyi]

My 18-month old son had the same problem, he is almost potty trained, but sometimes he will fight to sit on the potty.  If he escaped suceessfully, he will pee on the floor immediately.  Esp recently, he is getting worse.  I do learn a new trick, he loves "toy story 3", I got him a set of toddler briefs, he loves to look at the briefs and package.  So each time he starts to fight, I will say that "Do you want to see the dinosaur (his favorite character)?", he will stop to fight, and I hand him the package or the briefs, we talk about the Dinosaur, Buzz and Woody, and he will do this business. 

[CaliforniaKetus]

What if you let him stand in the tub?  He can pee standing up, and then just run the tap to wash the tub out.  Just guessing, I have a girl and we are only one month in with our own challenges!  But I'm doing a TON of laundry right now as we figure out this EC stuff, so I feel for you about cleaning the bathroom floor every (several times) a day.

[heatherr30]

My 2 yr old DD used to love flushing and brushing the toilet as a "reward" for going.

I think she was too young to really get rewards--at the age of 2-- and your DS is even younger!  but just having fun as a part of the whole process kept her motivated.  We also kept special toys in the bathroom and I often brought the current favourite toy to the bathroom when it was potty time, dancing and singing our way to the toilet....

I read an ebook at www.thepottytrainer.com and loved the suggestions for keeping it fun--the only thing toddlers are really interested in.  If there is a big party going on in the background each time you ask them to go to the potty, they will hardly realize they have peed on the potty!  LOL

The only difference may be, at age 2 my DD was PT within a few weeks..then the song and dance could be toned down a bit.  At 15 months you may have to keep playing the clown for some time--but I always thought it was easier than getting a toddler to hold still for a diaper change!

[Chloe 777]

Quote:

Originally Posted by waiyi 

My 18-month old son had the same problem, he is almost potty trained, but sometimes he will fight to sit on the potty.  If he escaped suceessfully, he will pee on the floor immediately.  Esp recently, he is getting worse.  I do learn a new trick, he loves "toy story 3", I got him a set of toddler briefs, he loves to look at the briefs and package.  So each time he starts to fight, I will say that "Do you want to see the dinosaur (his favorite character)?", he will stop to fight, and I hand him the package or the briefs, we talk about the Dinosaur, Buzz and Woody, and he will do this business. 

That's what I usually do too, try to keep him interested in a toy.  It usually works in the morning, because he's been probably holding it for hours, but during the day it doesn't work most of the time.  It's okay, I guess I won't worry about it.  I want him to go at his own pace after all. 

California ketus, he used to go in the bathtub, he won't anymore. :(

Thank you all for the encouragement :D

[waiyi]

We tried two more things, I put him on my lap when I am sitting on the toilet, and I sit really back on the toilet and open my leg wide enough, so he can sit in front of me, and he will do his business.

The other thing I tried, I put his little potty next to the toilet, and we do our business at the same time.  He seems really like it when we do it together.

[Chloe 777]

Yes putting the potty next to the toilet is a good idea.  That's what we do in the morning, but it doesn't work the rest of the day.

I have almost given up hope.  I guess it's okay, I just don't really understand it. :(  Why would he just suddenly stop, when he was doing so well?  I thought it was a strike, but would a strike last so many months?

Oh well.  right now I stopped taking him, except in the morning.  I figure, he knows how it's done, he's able to ask to go if needs to, so when he's ready he'll let me know.  I don't know if this is the best thing to do, but I started EC because I thought it would be something he wants, and if he doesn't, I don't want to push him. 

Does that make sense or do you girls think I should keep offering even if he refuses?

[heatherr30]

I wonder if there is some instinct that says don't pee while sitting down.  We must be the only animal that pees sitting down! Ha ha.  My DD used to pee right after standing up to get off the potty, right around age 15 months (I gave up PT at the time because of it), and I've heard many moms say the same. 

I think you are right to give it a rest if it's becoming a "battle".  I would keep trying every few weeks or month or so with new tactics.  Maybe when he starts pottying again, it will be for real (ie PT) and not EC!

[Chloe 777]

Originally Posted by heatherr30 

I wonder if there is some instinct that says don't pee while sitting down.  We must be the only animal that pees sitting down! Ha ha.  My DD used to pee right after standing up to get off the potty, right around age 15 months (I gave up PT at the time because of it), and I've heard many moms say the same. 

I think you are right to give it a rest if it's becoming a "battle".  I would keep trying every few weeks or month or so with new tactics.  Maybe when he starts pottying again, it will be for real (ie PT) and not EC!

Hmm, I never thought about the sitting down... Of course he won't do it standing up either lol!  it's just weird, because he was doing so well...