Hi. I am new here. My name is Rene and I live in North Fl. I have a 19 & 15 yr old son and an almost 3 yr old daughter.
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I feel very lost. I am married. My husband and I have been married for 5 years, together for 6 1/2. I ma not sure how long this is going to last.
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When we 1st met of course all was great. We were together for a while, then we got married then we had my daughter. I have always worked the whole time we were together. I have been laid off a few times, but find work again shortly thereafter. Since we have been together, my husband has been fired from his job 3 times. The 1st time he was out of work for 8 months. The 2nd time 4 months. This time 10 months. I am always the saviour of the family. But it seems that it is very unappreciated.
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My problem is just him. I don't know how to explain it. I am so sad and frustrated with him lately and have been for a while now, but when I say somethjing to him about it, he throws himself a pity party, or starts an argument. He has not had a job since he got fired 10 months ago. He gets unemployment, but due to child support he has to pay, he brings in $748 a month. I work from 10-7 everyday. certain days of the month require me to work overtime and I always have 1 mandatory Saturday. I am away from here for roughly 10.5 hours a day. My daughter stays home with him. Whenever I ask him why something isn't done or ask if he did something that needed done, he uses the"I had to watch Elise" excuse. Basically, I go to work, come home, spend time with her the rest of the night. If, by chance he has washed some of ours, or her clothes,I have to put them away. He will leave them in the dryer or on the couch or bed, and if I don't put them up, for days at a time. He doesn't clean. He sweeps the floors 2 times and cooks dinner 3 or 4 times a week. I work, watch her at night, clean the house, and fold and put the clothes away. When I was a single mom, I had my boys, worked, cleaned house, did laundry, made dinner, and did everything. But he can't seem to do anything. He does as little as possible. If I ask him to, he starts saying that he isn't everybody's slave. Doesn't care if things are filthy, or if he is for that matter. He takes a shower every other day. Doesn't brush his teeth everyday.I don't get it.But he will constantly gripe about what the boys have, or haven't done, or how they do it. Today for instance, he griped about a skateboard he couldn't get and threw in a stab about what my son got for his birthday and he should be able to get it. He gripes about stuff he can't have, but we can barely get the bills paid, and most of them are late.Â
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When I try to bring any of this up, it turns into a pity party for him or an argument, in which he starts calling me names. Skank. Fat bitch. (I am not really that big)Â Whore. Stupid lazy bitch. (can't understand that one). White trash. You name it, I have been called it. Starts putting me down. I am never home, so how would I know what is going on or what he does. Well duh, I am never here because if I don't work we will be homeless, and I can see what has happened by the same mess that still here as when I left! What am I supposed to do? I can't talk to him because of this. He thinks that he doesn't do anything wrong, therefor counceling is out of the question.
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IÂ am basically paying 85% of the bills and doing almost all of the housework, and even having to stop at the store to pick things up after he has been home all day. I just don't know how much more of this I can take. He doesn't even sleep in the bed with me anymore. He stays up til 2 in the morning, then sleeps on the futon. I am at my wits end. I am not sure I can take much more.
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What to do. I am just so unhappy, and tired. This is my 3rd marriage. My 1st husband cheated on me, my 2nd beat the crap out of me. I thought I had it right this time. Sigh....
