SOOOOO frustrated living in the US with my foreign DH - Page 2

[nia82]

I didn't have a race issue, but I encountered troubles when finding a job. I did work hard back home to get a MA degree from a prestigious university. I worked at a reputable company while going to school and finished it all on my 24th birthday and was soooo proud of myself. Then I came to the US to discover that nobody knows the reputation of my school here and being a foreigner have to settle for lesser jobs and then work my way up. It was really frustrating at first. I started a job with others who just finished a BA degree. I had to take jobs I was highly overqualified for. But I learned not to be upset at that anymore and instead looking at the bright side knowing I can work my way up quickly by being efficient, imaginative and diligent. There really is no other way.

[DariusMom]

I'm sorry. That's really really out of line. I hope your DH is doing better today.
 

Originally Posted by cappuccinosmom 

Dh had a bad moment today.

One of the patients at work called the person who is training dh, and asked where he's from.  He was in the room at the time, but not right next to them, but maybe they thought he couldn't here/understand.

Patient: Where's he from.

Trainer: Ethiopia

Patient: Oh

Trainer: This country is so screwed up.  So many Americans out of work, and *he* gets a job.

:(

Which may explain why he's been having difficulty with her, if she's resentful of him even having a job. sigh.  It really tore him up to hear that. 

[babygirlie]

My cousin has her masters and can't get a job (she's extremely smart and works with numbers etc).. even with a bachelor's there is a huge fight over minimum wage jobs. The job market sucks. I'll get backlash from this but on the west coast foreigners get most of the jobs since they are bi-lingual. Here if you are not from Mexico you won't get hired. Just how it is and I think a lot of Americans from whatever decent are becoming bitter and lashing out at anybody for anything as they lose their homes and see foreigners without citizenship driving hummers

[mt_gooseberry]

Originally Posted by babygirlie 

Here if you are not from Mexico you won't get hired. Just how it is and I think a lot of Americans from whatever decent are becoming bitter and lashing out at anybody for anything as they lose their homes and see foreigners without citizenship driving hummers

Wow.  The only "foreigners without citizenship" that I know (and I know a lot), including my husband, are certainly NOT driving around in hummers while Americans lose their homes.  First of all, "citizenship" is not the same thing as being legal.  My husband is not a citizen, but he is here legally.  Second, Mexicans (legal and not) are returning to Mexico in droves because THEY are losing their homes and jobs at higher rates than any other ethnicity in the country (I can get you the actual stats if you don't believe me).  Third, most Mexicans (and other "foreigners") are working POS jobs that would never allow them to afford a hummer, and those who have "good" jobs probably deserve them.  It may seem like there are a disproportionate number of foreigners succeeding while "real" Americans suffer, but I assure you that it is simply your own desperation that is coloring your opinions.  You're seeing things from the outside, but I'm actually living it so I must say that I believe my own experience with this issue is more likely to be the accurate one. 

[DariusMom]

Wow! I just don't know what to say to this.

The one thing we can agree on is that the job market *does* suck . .. for everyone!

Why don't we blame the bad economic policies of the previous administrations for this rather than immigrants? It's exactly this scape-goating that plays into the hands of politicians who have no interest in reforming our economy or our political system. Why should they when uninformed people will blame immigrants for all their woes?

Moreover, while I'm certainly sorry for your cousin (I've btdt with a MA, btw), the fact is . .. . a MA (or even a MS) isn't any sort of guarantee of a job. Not only does the economy suck right now *but* it really really depends on what the MA is in and where your cousin lives. If it's a MA in a field where there isn't much of a demand . . . well . .. . yeah, it's rotten luck, but maybe she needs to either keep looking or retrain.

I'd be interested to see what statistics you have to validate your assertions that "west coast foreigners get most of the jobs."  I don't think you'll find any. I think your statement is based on ignorance of the way the complex economy in American works.

I should add that I was a foreigner without citizenship in the country I live in now for 11 years (in W. Europe). I didn't have *citizenship*, but I was here legally. Big difference! Don't drive a Hummer, though!

I hope that you can move past the knee-jerk intolerance being propagated by certain political groups and look at the facts for yourself.

Originally Posted by babygirlie 

My cousin has her masters and can't get a job (she's extremely smart and works with numbers etc).. even with a bachelor's there is a huge fight over minimum wage jobs. The job market sucks. I'll get backlash from this but on the west coast foreigners get most of the jobs since they are bi-lingual. Here if you are not from Mexico you won't get hired. Just how it is and I think a lot of Americans from whatever decent are becoming bitter and lashing out at anybody for anything as they lose their homes and see foreigners without citizenship driving hummers

[bluedaisy]

My cousin has her masters and can't get a job (she's extremely smart and works with numbers etc).. even with a bachelor's there is a huge fight over minimum wage jobs. The job market sucks. I'll get backlash from this but on the west coast foreigners get most of the jobs since they are bi-lingual. Here if you are not from Mexico you won't get hired. Just how it is and I think a lot of Americans from whatever decent are becoming bitter and lashing out at anybody for anything as they lose their homes and see foreigners without citizenship driving hummers

Yeah, my response to this is pretty much the same as the others have said - it's pretty offensive and I don't think it's accurate.  in my area, I definitely don't see many foreigners driving hummers.  Most of them are working poorly paying jobs that they are way overqualified for because education they received in their countries in not respected here - for example, my mom works with a woman who was an OB in Pakistan but is only a nurse's assistant here - her medical qualifications from Pakistan mean nothing and she is not even considered qualified to be a nurse.  My friend's father in law was a successful archaologist in Ethiopia and is now a parking attendant in a parking garage.

Also. there are some foreigners that come from very wealthy backgrounds in their home countries.  I think there's an assumption that all foreigners (especially those from "developing" countries) are poor and come to the US to make a better life.  I work with international students at a university and some of them come from extremely wealthy families and have way more money than most of the American students.  So just because a foreigner is driving a hummer doesn't mean he "stole" jobs from Americans and is wealthy at the expense of jobless Americans who are losing their homes. 

[matte]

Originally Posted by bluedaisy 

Yeah, my response to this is pretty much the same as the others have said - it's pretty offensive and I don't think it's accurate.  in my area, I definitely don't see many foreigners driving hummers.  Most of them are working poorly paying jobs that they are way overqualified for because education they received in their countries in not respected here - for example, my mom works with a woman who was an OB in Pakistan but is only a nurse's assistant here - her medical qualifications from Pakistan mean nothing and she is not even considered qualified to be a nurse.  My friend's father in law was a successful archaologist in Ethiopia and is now a parking attendant in a parking garage.

Also. there are some foreigners that come from very wealthy backgrounds in their home countries.  I think there's an assumption that all foreigners (especially those from "developing" countries) are poor and come to the US to make a better life.  I work with international students at a university and some of them come from extremely wealthy families and have way more money than most of the American students.  So just because a foreigner is driving a hummer doesn't mean he "stole" jobs from Americans and is wealthy at the expense of jobless Americans who are losing their homes. 

Yeah, it's also important to realize that some of the foreigners you see "driving hummers" etc, are from the very top of the social/economic spectrum in their home countries and are not here to work, but to shop etc. Better to compare them to the folks you see on Madison Ave in NYC and on Rodeo Drive in SoCal. 

[HappyHappyMommy]

Many people that might be considered by some as "foreigners" (because of how we look, the languages we speak, the places we were born or have lived, and/or our cultural or religious practices) are US citizens or are legally eligible to work in the US, not foreign citizens or illegally working in the US. In addition, "Americans" is a frequently misused term to refer to "US citizens" when in fact, it means anyone from the Americas. Some of the comments on this thread come across as offensive to me and racist and stereotyping.

With regards to the economy, I think that we can all agree that it's not good and I think DariusMom makes an important point that some politicians have encouraged the scape-goating of one group of people or another to avoid addressing the deeper issues of economic reform (and the mistakes made by politicians in the past that have strongly contributed to the current situation). In addition, I think it's easy to look at a country-specific (for example, in the US, to look at a very US-specific or US-centric) view, but the economic problems of one country impact the global economy and people worldwide. The US is affected by poverty and economic challenges in many countries worldwide and the economy problems in the US affect many other countries worldwide.

OP, I hope that your DH finds a job that is interesting and best utilizes his skills and talents.