or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Stay at Home Parents › Let's Have Another Frump-Fighting Thread!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Let's Have Another Frump-Fighting Thread!

post #1 of 63
Thread Starter 

So if I used the search feature correctly, it looks like there hasn't been a discussion about this for awhile.  (And if I didn't use it correctly, give my bum a kick over to the right thread! redface.gif)

This is going to sound really shallow, but oh well.  This morning, I looked in the mirror and didn't like what I saw.  In fact, I hated it.  gloomy.gif  I saw some past pictures of myself and actually used to look decent (didn't realize it at the time of course eyesroll.gif


Despite repeated efforts, haven't been able to loose an OUNCE of this @#$^%$^%$ baby weight, and I weigh more than I ever have in my non-pregnant life. 


Every article of clothing I own ends up with stains containing juice, breast milk, kids' lunch, or human DNA in one form or another.  eyesroll.gif 


I have seriously FORGOTTEN how to apply make-up, although that might be a good first start to lift my spirits...


Frump seems to be as much of an attitude as it is a look.  The question is.......how to fight it?  Does it all go back to the platitudes about taking time (what time, pray tell????) to yourself as a SAHM?


There was a thread about this some years back, but let's hold the discussion again.  How do you fight frump? 



post #2 of 63

i try to put at least a little time into each part of my getting ready routine. a little time to shower, a little time to get dressed, a little time to get made up and to do something with my hair, a little time for it all. i live in hopes that the results are decent! LOL

post #3 of 63


I generally try to look ready for the day about 10 minutes before DH get's home - unless we have errands to run, and when we do DS looks fresh and I look like death (I always forget about my apearance - I just hide behind sunglasses and DH's baggy button up shirts). 

I need routine.. desperately.

post #4 of 63

Yes! Most important for me has to be getting out of the PJs. I try to get up, put on clothes and little makeup and sometimes earrings. I try to go out every day except when I babysit, but then I get dressed up for my little babysitee too. A few weeks ago I got a cute haircut and that has helped me feel a lot better too. Previously my postpartum hormones were making my hair fall out and I just wore it in a bun all the time. 

post #5 of 63

yeah, as a recent WOHM turned SAHM this is hard! On the one hand I am enjoying the freedom to not have to worry about looking nice for work, on the other hand I don't want to be "that mom" who shows up in public in her holey pajama pants, bunny slippers and knotted messy hair. (though believe me it has happened more than once!)


However, I try to at least shower, get dressed and brush my hair and teeth. Even just brushing my hair and teeth make me feel a lot better. My clothes are always stained with something these days but I try to start the day at least in clean clothes.


Another thing I do is I run. 5 days a week I get up at 5:00am and run too keep in shape and have time for myself. It is hard and doesn't always happen but what a difference it makes in my day to do something for myself and be active!

post #6 of 63

The one thing that helped me is realizing that *I* and my kids and husband are worth looking nice for, even if I don't see anyone else.  This doesn't mean that I wear heels and pearls at home or anything. :lol.  It just means that I put on more presentable clothes...nice, well-fitted jeans, capris, shorts or comfortable skirts or skorts, and nice, well-fitting shirts, hair brushed, etc even if we aren't planning on going anyplace. I don't wear what I wear to bed (baggy t-shirts, athletic shorts, etc.) around the house.   That way also, when do go someplace I'm already presentable, which makes it a lot easier to get out hte door.

post #7 of 63

For me, the key is having a routine.  I get up when my DH does for work and shower, get dressed, and put on makeup.  Nothing takes a ton of time (quick shower, air dry my curly hair, makeup takes 1-2 minutes tops) but feel so much better.  Knowing that I am presentable to leave the house or answer the door throughout the day is a huge boost.  I also find that I'm more productive overall when I get ready for my day.


Maybe figure out a couple of things (a new dress that fits your current figure properly, a super fast makeup routine, a flattering wash and wear haircut etc...) that would make it easier to look and feel good and start small.

post #8 of 63

Just a couple days ago I had a panic attack because I realized that I have a wedding to go to in 2 weeks and no clothes suitable for it. I did find a pair of nice pants I forgot about because they were too small but now, thanks to LOTS of stress, they fit. Then my wonderful FIL gave me some money to buy a top. We are beyond broke so there was no way I was going to be able to buy anything myself. I am still a little worried about make up since I no longer remember how to apply it, which is very sad since it used to be my job to teach other people how to do their make up. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry.


Even just getting to shower, wash my face, shave my legs, put lotion on, and blowdry my hair all together rather than just having to pick 1 at a time would make a big difference for me. I did all of these yesterday and I feel amazing. It is sad really. I bought a bottle of hair dye 2 months ago but it is still just sitting there. I'll do it someday I guess. Then there is my pathetic clothes, most are too big and stretched out from being old or the baby pulling on my shirts. I keep telling myself someday I'll have the time and the money to shop for myself again.


Exercise is 1 thing I really want to figure out how to make time for. I think it would help in many ways. Plus I keep watching my mom and all her weight related health problems and it is terrifying.

post #9 of 63

1. Mascara, bronzer and lip gloss

2. I always have my nails done and a pedicure.

3. I wear only girly clothing---lots of dresses. They are not expensive and make me feel pretty.

4. Take a nice long walk on the beach.


post #10 of 63

I've never been much of a make-up person & have long struggled with caring enough about my appearance. Over a year ago I made the decision to stop wearing pants ('cause I dislike them, they never seem to fit me nicely & I just find them uncomfortable & generally unflattering on me). That made all the difference because now I generally get dressed everyday. Now when I don't get dressed in the morning I feel slobby & unmotivated. Getting dressed definitely helps how I feel. Often I don't actually get to shower until later in the day but that's ok.


At our new house we are boarding horses & the owners stop by at least once a day but often other times & my mil lives right beside us (about 200') away so that helps a lot 'cause I hate for people to see me without a bra & in my pj's.

post #11 of 63
Hi lifeguard, I thought I was the only one that doesn't like pants. It's so freeing for me to just wear skirts and dresses. I have jeans that I wear to the barn. Otherwise, I'm free in skirts. I'm totally needing this thread right now. I'm going to dye my hair TOMORROW. And paint my toes. thumb.gif
Originally Posted by lifeguard View Post

I've never been much of a make-up person & have long struggled with caring enough about my appearance. Over a year ago I made the decision to stop wearing pants ('cause I dislike them, they never seem to fit me nicely & I just find them uncomfortable & generally unflattering on me).

post #12 of 63

Ladies- mineral makeup is seriously the fastest and eaiest thing in the world.  Just swoosh it on with a brush and you are done. I haven't timed it- but maybe a minute to do foundation, then eyeliner and mascara?  The best part is you probably know someone who can choose your color (like melalueca or mary kay or something).  And you won't look cakey.


To fight the frump I try to get showered and dresses every morning.  I have  a pixie cut that takes a bit of gel and then done, the previously mentioned makeup routine, alway dangly earrings, and great jeans.  Another thing that has helped is actually wearing cute jammies- if they are obviously inappropriate for answering the door- I am much more likely to get out of them early.

post #13 of 63
Originally Posted by iowaorganic View Post

  I have  a pixie cut that takes a bit of gel and then done,

So jealous! I used to have a pixie and I loved it. Someday when I can get away from my baby for more than 5 minutes and can afford hair cuts more than once a year, I'll do it again.


I actually put on makeup today. That is huge for me. It wasn't anything major, but a good step. I also dug out my earrings and have been wearing those. However, it wasn't so encourageing when DS1 saw them across the room and rather disgustedly said "Mom what the heck is on your ear?" lol

post #14 of 63

I do wear "houseclothes" around my house, because I've found my children are pretty hard on my clothes and I don't want to ruin the few nice outfits I have.  That said, I like to have nice/cute houseclothes so I look like I'm relaxing and not just a frumpy slob. 


I don't wear makeup very often, even on a special occasion I only manage some mascara and maybe lipstick/lipgloss.


Thankfully my hair is pretty wash and go.  When it's being unruly I use my trusty hairstraightener.  Typically I can just wash it, put some curling gel in it, and let it air dry.  I have started splurging on a slightly more expensive shampoo and conditioner and that helps immensely.


I get rid of any clothes that are starting to show their age, stained, holey, etc.  I really need to get to a thrift store and try to pick up a few more things.  It seems that there is NEVER any free time to do any shopping lately. 


Big things for me-doing a facial mask a couple times a week, using my face scrub (I have lots of blackheads if I don't), using regular moisturizer, shaving regularly, and painting my toenails. 


Of course I still have those periods where I can't get a shower for almost a week. 

post #15 of 63
Thread Starter 

OP here, and for the first time in three years....I went shopping.  For me.  First-hand clothes.  At the (gasp!) mall!  Take that, Frump.  moon.gif

post #16 of 63



yeah, as a recent WOHM turned SAHM this is hard! On the one hand I am enjoying the freedom to not have to worry about looking nice for work, on the other hand I don't want to be "that mom" who shows up in public in her holey pajama pants, bunny slippers and knotted messy hair. (though believe me it has happened more than once!)


I'm also a recent WOHM-turned-SAHM and one thing I conciously did to try to avoid sliding into frump was to keep wearing my work clothes. Now, this may not be doable for everyone but since I always wore business-casual, they work just as well for home-nice!!


Also it's always been imperative to me to have a shower first thing in the morning. So I do that while DH is still home which also ensures I'm dressed by the time my babysitting kid arrives. I sometimes have to dry my hair while the kids are eating breakfast, and I've never really worn makeup but at least I feel like I'm holding my own! 

post #17 of 63

I think I need to join this thread. I've always be a fan of the frump and don't really care about what other people think. I used to be a waitress and bartender and would only get dressed up to go to work. I worked nights and would always dress to impress and slather on the makeup not to feel good but to get tips However when I got off work I would usually toss on a hoodie and jeans in the bathroom at work and look like that until I got home. On days I didn't work I would just wear jeans and tanktops or a hoodie and not bother with make up.

When pregnant with my first I quit my job and went back to school after she was born. I realized at school I dont get tips so I didn't bother looking good and would often just wear sweats so that I wouldnt have to change to go to the gym between classes. Then I got a job where I had to wear a uniform so yeah, no dressing up for me there.

Now I work at home until this September and spend most of my day in sweats unless it is hot then I toss on an Enwrapture Vintage. I have had dreadlocks for the majority of my life but cut them off every few years and let my hair grow out. I cut them off last fall and have pretty much just kept a hankerchief on my head at most times. Both of my kids have beautiful red hair but my hair ranges from mousey brown to dirty brown, so I'm going to try using henna in it to look a bit more relaited to my own children.

This fall I am moving to a new town to go to nursing school and become a RN. I want to try and fight the frump so that I'll fit in and not have people think of me as the crunchy hippie girl which I am afraid people would hold against me considering I'm going into a not to crunchy career. So to do this I'm going to color my hair and start wearing makeup again.

post #18 of 63

I also find it takes me one minutes to throw on some liquid eyeliner - and it makes me feel more "made-up" than just mascara.

Hand lotion always makes me feel great too, especially a great smelling one.  I just keep it by the sink.

And I also find that leggings with a cute top are still comfy, but don't look like pajamas.  Even if I did sleep in them the night before!

post #19 of 63

 Have never allowed myself to get frumpy. I haven't always been skinny either, that took a lot of work and a whole new eating habit. I used to workout everyday, with a treadmill, and Taebo. I don't own sweatpants, and I shower every single day. I have nice outfits that I wear and when I do go out I put make up on. I also have outfits that are crappy like holey shorts or jeans that i wear during yardwork, and cleaning the house. Otherwise I do my best to look nice everyday.

post #20 of 63

I'm reading this with my hair tossed up and held there with a pen I yanked off the top of my desk when the heat became too much for me. I'm wearing yoga/capri pants at least two sizes too big (they actually fall off if I'm not careful) and a ribbed stretched out tank top that my kids have been stretching out all day long. 


Makeup?  Somewhere in the bathroom I have some, but putting it on takes energy I can't find.


If I have to run out to the store, that requires actually putting on other clothes- and finding a bra. 


Oh, and I did splurge on a haircut in February, but I haven't touched it since then. There are several inches of roots- many of them grey. 


I. Define. Frump.


Maybe I can start with on thing a day- like showering and dressing first thing. :P

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Stay at Home Parents
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Stay at Home Parents › Let's Have Another Frump-Fighting Thread!