I'm stuck and spinning...

[scorpiosbliss]

Ok... so is there anyone wanting to have a conversation about changing careers while juggling the stress of a difficult ex? I really need to land on my feet, and I have some time to get this figured out... however, the sooner I get on a path the better. 

If you want to discuss this, great. Thanks for looking.

Edited by scorpiosbliss - 7/12/11 at 12:57pm

[mimim]

What sort of career change are you thinking of?

Not sure if my story will be helpful at all, but... I was in grad school and struggling financially during my divorce and it was hard to find a job once I finished my degree due to the economic climate, etc, but I now am making lots of progress in my career. I'm a special ed teacher and have just been given (chosen over 2 other more experienced teachers) a new, more challenging assignment at my school for the fall. I didn't choose to change careers after my divorce, because I was already in progress when things fell apart, but I'm really glad that I did this and can now provide for my kids and myself adequately without my exh's support, which is not the most reliable.

[scorpiosbliss]

My previous work experience is varied. I went into a public relations/marketing stuff pre-child with add-ons of amateur graphic design/desktop publishing. I left my work and was an at-home mom turned into nanny extraordinaire. I have been out of the office for 6 years now. I took some career tests, although those did not harrow things down and are in various directions. For example: librarian, paralegal, photographer, teacher, advertising...   To be honest, everytime I think about what kind of job I want it all relates to how flexible it could be so I could still be very available to my son.  All I really want is some well paying job with lots of flexibility.  I do like the idea of teaching so I have summers with him. Somehow when I consider specific careers there is a black hole that sucks all the good ideas out of the air and tells me how each one won't work out. I need to take the plunge I think... but not entirely sure how to get focused. If it's all really just a boat-load of self-doubt or what. I don't want to be dependent on him. I do think the money I receive from him is something I deserve (something good from out of all the bad stuff).  But I wonder how much that plays into the politics of stuff. Like right now we're trying to negotiate where to send our son to school. 

anyways.... I have a feeling that if I get this thing figured out then it could help me feel more ownership over my life.

[newmomlearning]

I am struggling with this now.  My story is that I left work 5 years ago when my 2nd DD was born.  I left my ex-DH two years ago this month & have been struggling to find work ever since.  The divorce was final in February. 

Prior to taking a baby/kid-break, I had been successfully employed all my adult life. 

It has been hard as I've been dependent on miniscule alimony, and the child support for the children.  And, that support is a roller-coaster ride.  I am on the verge of starting a business, which has shown real promise.  But, I am really scraping the funds together to get it launched.

I sit here tonight wishing it was easier & hoping I'll look back on this one day from a place of financial & emotional security and feel grateful I worked hard to get us all to a better place.

I am racking my brain trying to figure out how to make it work.  The only input I have is to perhaps think of the skills you have & what you like to do...and, perhaps set-up your own business.  You'll work hard, but you'll profit from it & have the flexibility you need.

[hillymum]

I too am faced with "what do I want to do" when it comes to a career. I was a nurse a life time (12 yrs) ago and in a different country. I'm 40 and never thought I would have to start a new career earning enough to support a family of four.

[rubelin]

I'm in a similar situation. I do know what I'd like to do as a career, IF I didn't have kids, but the kids change everything. I've been out of my industry (fashion) for over 11 years, and it's not one where part time works at all. I've ended up doing freelance sewing but it really isn't right for me so I'm trying to find other ways to make money and still be able to be with my kids.

[mommy68]

I am in the same situation sort of. I was trying to finish up college last year and homeschooling our middle child and watching after our youngest baby. That ended up being too much and I finally got help from DSS with child care for the baby and I am enrolling my middle child in school this coming year. I have got to get a job. My ex is paying everything pretty much, other than what I am able to pay through the odd jobs I get here and there. I'm sick of depending on him but he wants me to and says he owes it to me after leaving me the way he did and he would rather see me home with the kids than sending them all off to go work 40+ hours a week. I know it's gonna be tough but I HAVE to get a job of my own and start doing it myself. I am already 42 and not a spring chicken...thinking about retirement.

[mommy68]

Originally Posted by hillymum 

I too am faced with "what do I want to do" when it comes to a career. I was a nurse a life time (12 yrs) ago and in a different country. I'm 40 and never thought I would have to start a new career earning enough to support a family of four.

Boy do I know how that feels :( :(  I have 3 kids myself. The thought of getting a full-time job and having time for them makes me super sad. This wasn't he "plan" we had 15 years ago when starting out together having children. I was to be a stay at home mom and homeschool all of them. Our last child was unexpected when I got pregnant  with her he was already talking to the "other woman" I suspect. ugh. I have 16 more years at least raising my youngest and I'm already over 40. :(  Depresses me. When my ex and I got married we both vowed we would hang in there and wouldn't be like the rest of society and get divorced.

[meemee]

Originally Posted by scorpiosbliss 

 All I really want is some well paying job with lots of flexibility. 

you know you are asking for the moon arent you?

this may not a good time to think about 'the' career. honestly. how old is/are your child/children?

i was in school till i was pregnant and i could not go back till dd turned 5 and started school herself. i went to school briefly when dd was 18 months old but it was a disaster.

before baby i was focusing on programming and math (i could work from home and be a WAHM), when dd was 18 months old training to be ps teacher/dc business (i realised i wasnt cut out to be a SAHM - i needed part time work) and now i am 'home'. i explored a lot since dd was 6 and finally discovered what i was such a natural at. in a sense it has everything to do with dd and yet not. by the time i graduate dd will be graduating high school. 

however what i have chosen is my 'calling'. it is not a career. it is not a vocation. once i discovered my passion, i could not not do it kwim? i plan to work till the day i die or i cant anymore. i am not sure if i will even leave dd with any inheritance. but that's because i am investing in that (by living poor but having time together) now so that she can take care of her own self and create her own wealth. making sure she has confidence and faith in her ability even when teh world turns their face away.