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need some advice

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 

A little info on myself : I am 25 year old mother of two wonderful little girls ages 3 and 4 . my first 3 pregnancy's i miscarried . my forth i carried full 40 weeks and went in for a non invasive labor which ended in in a c section after pushing for many hours . recovery was very painful. my 5Th pregnancy i worked full time , until i went into labor at 37 weeks. went in to the same hospital with plans for a vb-ac. i could tell my Doctor did like my choice my i did not care i had my heart set on it. he came in in checked me said i was full effaced but only 1 centimeter dittalled . said he could break my water to speed up things or send me back home . i said break it big bad choice there. he tried to break my water and really had a hard time of it . finally he stopped and said it was broke. all it did the whole time was leak. my labor fizzled and they gave me meds to bring back the contractions. it works for a bit but was not enough. i asked if i could walk around they said no cause my water was broke i was not allowed to. 48 hours later the next Doctor came in with bad news . said i was not getting anywhere and he wanted to do a csection for fear of infection to the baby. i cried and protested to it . he said he would give me another hour and than that was it. he came back and wanted a heart mounter up inside me. i agreed and i placed it in when he did my water broke! i was shocked . the whole time i could have been walking and going tru this without the inducing drugs . within 20 Min's of him breaking my water i had Brenda.      so here i am again pregnant 15 weeks along and i really really don't want to have another baby in the hospital. i want to have it at home. just me and my husband and my two little girls bringing our sweet baby into the world without ant interference . i was working up until back last month when i started having bleeding and contractions. i was going to not even see a Doctor for this one. but had no choice. have been ordered off work till i have the baby. will have to go back to Doctor after i have the baby in-order to return to work. so here is my question how do i get by with having my child at home without pissing of my Doctor . i know darn well he wont take to me having it at home. and i need him to sign release forms afterward so i can go back to work. any advice would be helpful. thank-you and god bless.saynovax.gif

post #2 of 9

in this case, if it were me and i knew the pregnancy to be delicate, i would likely work with a midwife if possible. if not, then I would likely go with my doctor. 

post #3 of 9

i too would be inclined to go with a midwife or my doc if that wasn't an option in this situation.

post #4 of 9

I'm sure you had an ultrasound after the bleeding episode. Actually, that brings up another question: was it just an episode or has it continued? Did the ultrasound reveal any placental issues? Many times with one time bleeding issues you never really do know exactly why it happened, and then things seem to resolve on their own. I'm wondering why you were told not to work for the remainder of the pregnancy though. Did your job require lifting/standing for long periods/any strenuous activity? Perhaps you should continue shadow care with a midwife or OB and then you could just see where you are when labor comes?  


ETA: I am responding not as a midwife, but as a mother who had two separate episodes of fairly heavy bleeding during one of my pregnancies. One at 13 weeks after sex where I stood up and experienced a whoosh! of blood pooling at my feet. And then another at 15 weeks where I also bled quite a bit. Ultrasounds after each episode revealed no placental problems and provided no answers. I took it easy for a few weeks, but went on with my life after a while and things were fine. Just wanted to share my own experience.

post #5 of 9
Thread Starter 


had an ultrasound done at ten weeks after the bleeding and contractions started up . the test showed all was fine  and the bleeding stopped but the contractions kept up. my job does require me to walk for over 8 hours at a fast pace. i work in a disturbuion center and was in non-con department, till may of this year than swicthed to repack. non-con's is really hard work requiring lifting over and over again 40 + lbs  items. repack is mostly makeup and small items but still requires some lifting of heavy totes when they are packed full and need to be put on the line. Doctor was worried due the contractions so he ordered me off work just in case. i ain't worried about the labor i feel very confident that it will go smoothly and even more so at home without the nurses and Doctor getting in the way. i have faith in my body and in God. i don't have the funds for a midwife or dule and as far as i know Indiana  Medicaid don't pay for them anyway . from my research and experience so far my best option is having this baby at home on my own. my only problem is the fight i will have with doctors when they find out i have done this. i need to work after i have our child. and i need Doctor signed papers to go back.

post #6 of 9
Thread Starter 

bumpy bump bumpjoy.gif

post #7 of 9

In Illinois medicaid will pay for a hospital based CNM.  You might look into that.  But not all the CNMs are "midwives" some are just as into interventions as OBs so interview them well.  I am seeing a hospital based CNM for prenatal care right now.  She is ok.  I am planning a UC but I told her I am giving birth at home with midwives which she was totally ok with.  I felt bad when I thought about lying to her about going to the hospital.  But you are a VBAC so it is a different situation, even a really permissive midwife may not be comfortable with homebirth VBACs.  (Which is not right in my opinion.)


Have you thought of having your UC then telling your doctor or midwife that your labor went too fast and you couldn't get to the hospital in time?  There is no way for them to know what you were really planning.  Hopefully they would still sign your paperwork either way.  That would be really mean of a doctor to not sign it because you didn't make it to the hospital.  

post #8 of 9
Thread Starter 

dishes.gif   yes i have thought about saying that the baby came too fast for us to make it to the hospital. but i want to spend time with the baby at home after i have him and not have to call 911 to make it look like it happened to quickly. what i am trying to say is wont my story sound a little out of place if i don't call 911 and rush to hospital afterward ? i want to keep the placenta and bury it later in the summer with a new tree like some other mother i have read do. plus i don't want the doctors and nurses poking and prodding my child or me for that matter after such a peaceful birth. i want to crawl in bed with my new baby all snug and warm close to my breast and fall asleep together after-wards. don't want to drag him out in the middle of winter just to make my story look real. Anyway the hubby just made it clear that he don't want me to go back to work after i have the baby and really i would rather stay at home anyway. so i just might stop seeing the doctors after so long and not worry about it. baby seems to be doing fine so far and aside from the consent headaches i have been having i feel rather well.

post #9 of 9

You may still wish to interview any local homebirth midwives.  I am sure that even w/ financial issues many of them would do their best to work something out (barter, payment plan, etc....)  It certainly seems like seeing a different doctor is an option.  And no you don't have to call 911 or even say the baby came too fast.  Simply go in for a post-partum check as necessary and decline to answer any questions you don't care too.

When would you be getting your post-partum check up anyway?  6 weeks?  It would be too late for them to do much then.  You could stick to the story that the baby came too fast if it makes you feel better and when he says why didn't you call 911 you could just act stupid and look shocked and go, "Oh my gosh.  Yeah I guess we could have done that.  Well I'll know for next time."  Still better would just be to see a whole new doctor - maybe even a family practioner who can do your post-partum and well baby visits in one place and just say you weren't happy w/ your old doc and leave it at that?

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