Fall/Winter UCers Roll Call and Chat

[Azadehhast]

Hello, fall and winter UC mamas, i know you're out there! Let's chat about our impending babies!

By way of introduction, I'm due mid-December, in my 27th birthday, with my first. This is up/UC for us.

How are your pregnancies going? Do you feel "connected" to your babes? Tell me the good affirmations you are giving yourself regarding pregnancy and birth. Two I found today are:
If I feel good, there is no reason to assume anything is wrong.
Pregnancy is a normal state of being in a woman's wellness cycle.

And DH's favorite: she's pregnant, not sick!

[SilverLightx4]

Hi!

I lurk because I don't often get a lot of time to post. I'm Megan. I'm pregnant with my 8th. This will be my 4th VBAC and 4th UC.

I'm a little stressed out today because I found out my MIL is coming to visit for 2 weeks this November. I love her to pieces but so very badly do not want her here for the birth, or immediately afterwards. I don't want to be heavily pregnant, or recuperating from birth and feel like I have to play hostess, and make sure my house is perfectly clean for her visit. She's also very critical of us homeschooling, and I don't want to have to worry about lesson plans either!

All vents aside, this pregnancy is going very well, and I'm enjoying this last pregnancy. On the one hand I can't wait to meet my newest little one, and on the other, I want to savor every moment.

I'm not big into affirmations, well not consciously, I guess. I know that my body knows how to grow and birth healthy babies. I know that this baby is growing well and is healthy. I'm looking forward to my birth (well mostly - I so very badly do not want my mother in law here!) . I guess if I have an affirmation it's that "this baby will be born before she gets here.." Having her here after the birth is a less stressful thought than having her here and freaking out during the birth.

Megan

Mom of 7, expecting #8 this fall.

[IwannaBanRN]

Hi there! I'm due November 21st. Aza, I love your hubby's outlook. lol That's how I look at it. When a woman is in labor, she's BIRTHING not performing surgery on herself. I tell myself all the time to trust my body and my baby as nature intended.

[jancea]

hi mamas! my EDD is 12/24. second child and will be my first attempt at UC at home. so far, everything is good! i'm getting pre-natal care from a local OB but decided not to tell her my plan. i want to make sure everything stays normal and i want to be able to use her as back up just *in case* my plan doesn't work out. i have a clean history of vaginal birth (just with epidural) with no complications so i'm feeling very positive overall.

i don't really have any mantras right now but to prepare for the birth, i've been listening to 2 hypnobirthing tracks nightly that i downloaded for free online and soon i'll be practicing breathing techniques along with stretching and exercise. i just need to set up a time that i can do this. mostly, i'm just keeping a light & positive way of thinking about the birth and our baby while researching/learning everything i possibly can.

will any of you be using a doula?

[SoCaliMommy]

  I'm due November 9th, this will be my first UC. This is my 3rd baby. I'm doing prental care through our insurance since i like to know what is going on and good incase of transfer to hospital it wont be a hassle.

[seraf]

I'm cooking my 3rd. Due the first week of November. I have had a home birth with midwives, an accidental UC and I rather expect his one to be quick as well.

I have no affirmations, I'm not afraid of the birth so much as afterpains.

[Azadehhast]

My MIL tried to invite herself to the birth. I kind if flipped out, but thankfully, DH had the tact to say, "I think Aza will prefer a quiet birth without company" and that was the end of it. She's all in a panic because of UP, and could never handle knowing we're planning UC, and especially couldn't be present without driving us nuts. Anyway, Megan, hopefully things work out with your mil!

The longer I've been pregnant, the more this rediculous little panic voice grows. It tells me that our baby will die at birth just to prove to everyone how wrong we were to believe so strongly in up/UC for us. As if the world is just trying to spite us. It's totally stupid, and incredibly annoying to be niggling at the back of my thoughs, because actually, I feel really peaceful and calm about the whole thing. So I've decided to counter this panic voice with a calm, intelligent, trusting one. Hence the affirmations.

Have you all told your family of your birth plans? After the birth, will you tell the people you can't really tell now, or keep it a secret? I think if everything goes well, DH and I will feel like such mighty, capable people, it'll be hard not to tell anyone who asks, but he says we still shouldn't tell his mother. When it comes to her, he's surely right, but it would be so wonderful to tell the people who would make us so afraid that, well, actually, we just went in the bedroom and pushed out the baby and it breathed and all was perfect.

Oh, I'm oh so happy for you other UC mamas! It's so good to feel not alone or crazy for this uncommon birthing choice, and to talk to other mamas who trust that we can birth healthy babies, alone, in our own homes, even if it's the first baby. Hugs to you all!

[csbwhite]

Megan,

It is your home and you need to set some clear boundaries NOW or this situation will be a constant stress in your life. Every problem we face always has a solution within our power to change it and to react healthfully. You just need the courage and the wisdom to do so. With a mighty backbone, respectfully inform your MIL that she may visit (if you choose to have her in your home), but NOT during the time she has planned too. You don't need a long explanation. A simple, "the timing is not right." would suffice. I would never let anyone (especially my MIL) plan my life. You are a strong mother of seven and with another on the way, there is no time in your life to pussy-foot around with this woman. Be truthful, upfront, and deal with this situation like the strong woman you are! YOU need to have courage and wisdom to realize by allowing this woman to intrude your home, you are neglecting your role as the guardian and keeper of your home. Call her NOW. Trust me, you will feel loads better, even if she has a hissy-fit. Her disappointment is her problem. Your responsibility is to your husband and to your children first and foremost. My prayers are with you!

Susie

[IwannaBanRN]

Jancea, I have been practicing hypnobirthing as well. I would have liked to use a doula, but we don't have any money to hire one. We just want someone to be around so my DP can tend to the kids when needed.

[csbwhite]

I'm due late Nov/early Dec. I am not seeing anyone other than the Lord with my pregnancy and birth plans. Never have I felt so much peace and confidence in my pregnancy than I do now. This is my tenth pregnancy. (I have had four miscarriages. Even though I still count each one as a blessing, for statistics sake, I am pregnant with #6). Each pregnancy, I have seen a combination of the following: military OB's, Nurse Practitioner's, ER DR's, opinionated and/or aloof OB's, kind and/or supportive OB's, helpful and/or horrific Nurses, wonderful and not-so-wonderful Midwives, Hypnothearapists, Chiropractor's, Doula's, Bradlely teacher's, and too many labs, pokes, pee sticks, fundal height measurments, doppler tones, and ultrasounds to count. I have also attended (in person and over the internet) many groups varried in childbirth, midwifery, lactation, cesarean support, and parenting. My reading list alone would fill a typical exam room floor-to-celing. In all I have experienced and learned, the most significant truth is that only God is in control. I have experienced miracles in my pregnancies and births. I have had my fair share of doubt and fear. I have chosen to "give up a dream" in order to receive what I needed for that moment. I regrete nothing and I have made a conscience choice to listen to God and to follow my convictions. I may have very strong opinions on what and how a pregnancy and birth should look like, but if I needed to adjust my view in order to obey God, I will.

[seraf]

My plans are pretty basic, my mom was the one who said, "I don't think you'll be happy in the hospital."  I asked if she wanted to catch.  She said sure.   Really my partner wants to catch, tho. Everyone knows I will be at home if the labor is quick.  Even the OB.  I told them I am preparing a kit for the house and the car.  LOL.  Since I have to have someone drive an hour to get the older kids, and I have to know I'm in labor, I don't think there's any way I could make it to the hospital in time.  I didn't get quite that specific with the docs, but I was pretty clear that there was a chance I wouldn't make it to the hospital.
 

Originally Posted by Azadehhast 


Have you all told your family of your birth plans? After the birth, will you tell the people you can't really tell now, or keep it a secret? 

[Paigekitten]

Hiya!  I'm due beginning of November.  This is my third baby, second homebirth, first attempted UC.  I am seeing midwives 'cause DH is not comfortable with the idea of UC.  I think he might end up on the front porch with the midwives while I hang out inside in the birth tub. : )  Actually I've been visualizing getting up in the middle of the night and birthing quickly in the bathroom, then waking DH and the girls up to meet this one.  I asked DH if he would be sad if he missed the birthing part, and he said that all he wants is a healthy baby. : )

My mom was at my homebirth, and when I mentioned UC, she just kind of laughed at me, but she didn't mind me not inviting her to this birth. I really really want this to be an alone thing, just me and the baby. I haven't talked about it to anyone else, I don't plan to until after the fact, especially because if DH freaks out I will probably have him call the midwives over, it's his baby too.  So I guess I'm only a kinda UCer.

[Devaskyla]

I'm due in mid January, shortly after my birthday. This is the 4th pregnancy I've had go this long ( had a lot of early miscarriages) and the other 3 all ended up with healthy babies. The first was delivered by unncecesarean & the other 2 were both UP/UBAC babies.

I'd like another water birth (ds2 was land, ds3 was water), but I'm not sure i'll have time for it. Ds3 was born around 5 hours after contractions started getting intense, I only realized it was really labour about 2 1/2 hours before he was born and was able to get in the pool about 1 1/2 hours before. My friend whose 2nd birth was about the same length as mine with ds3 just had an unplanned UC when her 3rd came in just over an hour. If it happens that fast (which part of me is hoping it does and part of me thinks 5 hours was a bit too fast) there's no way I could get the pool sorted in time.

Paigekitten, I'm pretty sure my dh would love to skip the birth this time around. One of my little day dreams is getting up because of contractions & coming back to bed a couple hours later with a baby. lol Birth utterly terrifies him, but he's really supportive, so I'm lucky that way.

[crosstitchgirl]

mother of 4, 2 mine and 2 from the hubby's frist wife. our next rugrat is due jan 2nd . my frist was a c-section my 2nd v-bac. planning on a water birth for this one at home with just me the hubby and my two girls. my oldest girl will be 4 in aug. i have done asked her if she would like to be in the pool with me for the birth. she happily said yes. my guess is my 3 year old will be to if she is awake when it happens. hoping my hubby dont flip out during the birth and panic as the will be our frist uc. cant wait to hold our newest little one to my breast and feed him.

[jancea]

@iwannabeanRN, we had a doula willing to work with our UC, which is great because i hear they're hard to come by but i had to let her go because where i'm going to live 5 months from now is up in the air.

Have you all told your family of your birth plans? After the birth, will you tell the people you can't really tell now, or keep it a secret?

i have not and probably will not tell anybody what we're planning. mostly because i don't want any bad juju thoughts, i hardly think anyone will be supportive or excited as i am. i will definitely not tell my mother. she can't handle anything, lol, during my first birth, she was in the room and i had to worry about her 'cause she was literally in a corner freaking out 'cause i was throwing up (probably from transitioning) but everything was fine and it was in a hospital. i also don't want any "i told you so"'s or anything like that if we decide to transfer to the hospital. which i know *could* happen.

[xzaviers_mama]

I'm due in late Oct/early Nov.  I haven't even admitted to DH that I'm secretly hoping for a UC.  I had my last son at a birth center, and I will admit that their tub was amazing... however, I was 8cm when I got there, had him shortly after, then drove home less than 3 hours later.  Really a hassle to be worrying about driving back and forth like that.  I'm very confident in my body, and am kind of planning an... "Oops, didn't quite make it to the birth center" kind of birth.  

[amandasemele]

Hello, this is my 5th baby, 2nd homebirth and hopefully UC. Just recently decided to go for it. My original midwife from my last birth has moved and my new one I am not very connected with. My husband is on board with anything I decide. I have midwife training so I trust in my body very well. I would tell my sister and best friends but noone else until it is over. I don't need all the negative energy!

[HannahMac]

I am pregnant with my 4th baby and due in Dec though I put very little stock in actual dates.  I have had 3 hospital births.  The first was born at 34 weeks so no matter what I would have gone to the hospital.  He was perfectly healthy, but I did have a ton of intervention out of pure fear.  Second was born at 37 weeks and I went to the hospital bc at the time I was uneducated and afraid of pain, however by the time I got there I was too late for an epi so I had him naturally.  By our 3rd child I desperately wanted to leave the hospital behind me and birth at home or at the very least in a birth center, but my hubs was uncomfortable with that prospect being a medical professional himself and working in a hospital and leaving his comfort zone.  He requested that we attempt all the natural things I wanted in a hospital setting.  It was torture trying to force the staff to see it our way, and though our daughter was born healthy at 35 weeks with no intervention, it was a horribly stressful situation.  This time around he sees it my way and has agreed to a planned UC at home in a birthing tub.  This is my last and I need this to be done the way I want for once and he is 100% supportive and actually very excited about it!  I will have my 2 best friends in attendance to cater to our needs and witness the birth, and my hubs and I are hoping for a beautiful spiritual (orgasmic if at all possible) birth.  We are not telling anyone else about our plans to UC until afterward bc neither of us want negativity filling our heads! 

[mama2mad]

Hiya :)

I'm expecting in early/mid October. this will be my 5th child, my partners 1st. My first 3 were ob/hospital/medicated. 2 of them induced. My 4th was planned FSBC with midwives that ended up UC thanks to a fast labor. This one is planned UP and UC. I am doing my own prenatal care. I had quite fun today, since I just got the fetoscope we'd ordered. I had heard it one other time since a friend let me use her doppler.I'd not planned to use a doppler at all, but my partner is hard of hearing and the doppler would allow him to hear the HB as well.

This pregnancy is going well. I'm more connected with my body than I have with my other children. I'm confident I'm providing what my body and this baby needs. I am off and on in my connection with the baby. It's an unexpected pregnancy with a lot of outside stresses.

I have no specific affirmations. I just believe that this is normal. Woman have done it for centuries.
My body is strong and powerful and I don't need anyone to tell me how to birth.

[jhmountainmama]

Hey there,

I'm 27 and expecting my 2nd child in mid-January.  My DS was a natural birth in the hospital, but it was fighting and negotiating the entire time that allowed it to be that way.  This time I am adamant about not going to the hospital.  Our birth center here is 2 hours away, inflexible in payment plans/options, and nearly inaccessible during winter.  Due to growing political issues within our community, all midwives who were practicing are now on hiatus.  At first I was extremely stressed over the lack of options, but once I started researching UC, I relaxed a lot.  Being an avid reader, I'm already well informed about natural childbirth, home birth, etc.  I'm also working towards my doula certification and am taking Bradley classes for that purpose.  The more info I read regarding UC the more sound I am in my decision to follow through with it.  It's empowering to realize that even with all the turmoil here surrounding birth, I can step back and do it on my own.  I'm very lucky to have an extremely supportive DH who recognizes my need/right to have the birthing experience I want and is both attending Bradley classes with me and learning emergence procedures JIC.  We've opted to leave out details to our family, instead leaving it at, "We're going to have a home birth."  I don't have any special affirmations yet, but am starting to look/come up with some that work for me.  Overall,  I believe I know my body better than anyone else and am completely capable of handling a birth on my own.  In fact, I'm rather looking forward to it.