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What are your holiday plans with a new LO? - Page 2

post #21 of 24

I've stressed about this too.  We live 2700 miles from family, and obviously will not fly.  We also decided not to host anybody for any holiday (i'm due 17th).  We have a 2yo DS and we were overwhelmed by visitors after his birth which ended up being so hard on us, so we are limiting visitors.  I'm not playing "pass the baby" this time, and I'm not hosting people for hours on end- holiday or no holiday.  It may seem bratty but we just want to babymoon for a while- like a few weeks.  Then we'll allow visitors.  We told DH's family that they could come in January.  Also- it's cold and flu season! UGH!  This especially worries me since they'll be flying in- so many germs in that recirculated airplane air.  My mom will likely be ten hours away in California (we're in portland) so she'll drive up at some point but it probably won't be as early or often as she would like.  I'm over it.  I am protecting the newborn period as much as I can this time.  Last time was way too much.

 

We don't eat meat either, and live very different lifestyles so having family around to begin with is stressful and tense.  

So anyway, our holidays will be just us, or perhaps a few low key celebrations with our wonderful neighbors.  


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by meesh933 View Post

I've been thinking about this, because I'm due on Thanksgiving. We live 900 miles from family, which complicates things in some ways and makes them easier in others. There's no way I can fly home alone with three small kids, so that decision is made for us. But it likely means everyone will want to come here, at Christmas, to see the baby, which kind of sucks, too. My mom will probably be here for the birth, so she'll get Thanksgiving, but what about Christmas? My in-laws are great but.....higher maintenance, I guess. (We don't eat meat and my FIL won't eat anything I cook, for example.) And they have teenagers. We live in a 2 bedroom apartment - that would be 9 people here. NINE. One of them 3 weeks old. I've avoided mentioning it to family yet because it's stressing me out to even think about considering what will happen.

 

Does anyone have any idea what their holiday plans are yet?

 

(Also, what does a 3 week old baby want for Christmas??? I have every intention of finishing my Christmas shopping in early November, or it will never get done...)



 

post #22 of 24

jbk21 - This is my first time having a baby and I just started another thread asking for people to share their stories/thoughts/opinions on allowing visitors during labor and/or after the baby is born. Your comment about wanting to "babymoon" is exactly the idea I'm toying with right now. I'm really afraid that since this is our first baby, and first grandchild on hubby's side (second on mine), our families are going to be overbearing and overstep where my desire for privacy is concerned. I know my DH could probably care less either way about if people visit the baby immediately when she arrives, but I have very strong feelings against it right now... I just worry my wishes won't be respected and our families (or maybe just my own mother) will place a severe guilt trip on me! If it were up to me, I think I'd possibly not even tell anyone we're in labor and just call them one day saying, "Hey, we had the baby a few days ago." LOL But that would NOT fly... Our families are about a 1-hour drive away, so at least they're not popping in unexpectedly nor do we talk to them every day, but they're close enough to still want to drive up and meet the baby ASAP. I guess I just have this bad feeling that I can't shake, that if I don't have a tight hold over my birthing process and have control over savoring my precious time with baby after she arrives, then I'll be heartbroken and regretful. But without having gone through this before, I have no idea what will be enough private time for us and how things will go in general. I hope if I express these concerns to our families - maybe they'll surprise me and say, "We respect whatever you want to do!" and don't tell me what they were hoping I'd do (and let guilt trip ensue)...

post #23 of 24

My family sounds a lot like yours, birdhappy85. I was a little worried with my first daughter that things would be crazy. I've seen it happen when people have babies in my family, the night of the birth the hospital room is just packed full of visitors and kids running around crazy. It's insane. I was very pleasantly surprised that my family was so respectful when we had the baby. We did have a steady stream of visitors, but never too many at one time. People were very good about calling ahead of time making sure we weren't too crowded already and asking us when a good time would be.

 

And definitely take any help you can get while it's being offered, is my advice. You can still have your babymoon even if your ILs or parents are there, just put them to work! My MIL came to our house while I was in the hospital and cleaned the whole house for us and stocked our fridge full of fresh fruits and veggies and made a big meal of spaghetti and salad and left if for us to have when we got home. She brought us dinner that she made at home and brought over several times those first couple of weeks. It was a good excuse for her and FIL to come visit the baby and took the load off of us when it came to meals, I thought it was a wonderful compromise! Plus, after those first few weeks, those offers for help will really dwindle and go away, so take advantage while they're willing!

post #24 of 24


I think it depends on what your family is like.  I wish my family was as helpful as Mal85's!  Alas, both sets of parents are more of the "let me hold the baby while you get some rest/ clean up/ cook dinner" types.  I'll share more about my experience in your new thread, but it's certainly up to you to decide whether or not to allow people whom you think may be less-than-helpful to share in the days and weeks post-partum.  My philosophy is, it doesn't matter if you THINK you are helping because if I don't view it as help, it's not helpful.  Like holding hte baby while I sleep- I hate that idea, I am the type to totally need to be near my baby 24/7 those first few weeks.  They may not be in my womb anymore but that transition to them being their own person is one that I like to protect and just as much as they want to be near their mamas, I as a mama want to be near them.  So someone holding my baby while "I sleep" equals me getting no sleep because I'm nervous about where my baby is.  ya know?

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mal85 View Post

My family sounds a lot like yours, birdhappy85. I was a little worried with my first daughter that things would be crazy. I've seen it happen when people have babies in my family, the night of the birth the hospital room is just packed full of visitors and kids running around crazy. It's insane. I was very pleasantly surprised that my family was so respectful when we had the baby. We did have a steady stream of visitors, but never too many at one time. People were very good about calling ahead of time making sure we weren't too crowded already and asking us when a good time would be.

 

And definitely take any help you can get while it's being offered, is my advice. You can still have your babymoon even if your ILs or parents are there, just put them to work! My MIL came to our house while I was in the hospital and cleaned the whole house for us and stocked our fridge full of fresh fruits and veggies and made a big meal of spaghetti and salad and left if for us to have when we got home. She brought us dinner that she made at home and brought over several times those first couple of weeks. It was a good excuse for her and FIL to come visit the baby and took the load off of us when it came to meals, I thought it was a wonderful compromise! Plus, after those first few weeks, those offers for help will really dwindle and go away, so take advantage while they're willing!



 

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