Almost-nine year old boy...sensitive question

[Carolyn R]

I grew up with all sisters, so I was wondering if someone with more experience could share...is 8, almost 9, a normal age for a wet dream??? I went in my son's room this morning to pick up his dirty laundry, and he said very matter of factly, "Those shorts and underwear are dirty. I wore them to bed and had to change them during the night because they were wet." It obviously wasn't urine.

In addition to wondering if that's a normal age (dh couldn't remember when they started for him), I'm wondering how much information our son needs to know about this. I've always made it very clear that his body is beautiful and he's free to ask us any questions at all. He's always seemed pretty uninterested in his body/sex, etc.

So should I explain to him what happened? Or wait for him to ask?

Please offer your advice...I want to be very open with him, but I also don't want to flood him with info before he's ready.

[tbone_kneegrabber]

Well I'm not a boy, but I got my period at 9 yo's so I think 9 is a perfectly reasonable age for puberty.  You might want to post in tweens and teens.

The book It's Perfectly Normal would be a good book to get/read/leave lying around etc.

[ollyoxenfree]

Yes, it's normal for a 9 y.o., although on average it's a little later, about 11 or 12 yrs.  

And yes, I would explain to him what changes are happening. Reassure him that he isn't wetting the bed suddenly, since he may be worried about it and not telling you. I would start with the basic biology about puberty and adolescence and wait for cues to see how much he wants to discuss with you. 

I'm also presuming that he understands the basics of sexual reproduction already. If you haven't explained where baby's come from, now is as good a time as any. You don't have to hit him with everything all at once though.

Getting a good book for him to read on his own is an excellent idea, in case there are questions he's a little shy about.

And yeah, welcome to Preteens and Teens! Head on over there and you'll probably get some more input. 

[Cyllya]

IMO, calling it a wet dream makes it more awkward than it needs to be, heheh.  "Wet dream" sounds like it refers to... erotic dreams, which is totally independent of nocturnal emissions. (But maybe that terminology issue is just me, since I checked Wikipedia and it treats the terms as synonymous. But it also says, "Despite the name, there is no evidence that wet dreams are connected to, or occur during, erotic dreams.")

I am under the impression that nocturnal emissions are close to inevitable if a pubescent male hasn't recently ejaculated for some other reason.