Originally Posted by Super~Single~Mama
I'm not making horrible blanket statements, and I never said I haven't seen crazy shit happen. I said that GA will have jurisdiction over the child, since that is where the child is likely to be born - and GA is pretty damn conservative, so they might still have a presumption to give custody to the mother (several southern states still do). I also didn't make a prediction about the outcome of a custody case - I'm not in any position to do so, I'm just pointing out the flaws in your arguments b/c there are many - and apparently you don't like that. Boo hoo.
Yes, it does sound like the mother has some serious mental health issues going on - but if dad doesn't get down to where the baby is and find a way to retain custody after the child is born, and has no interest in being close to the mother proximity wise (b/c he absolutely MUST live near his young adult children well over 1,000miles away from the mother), he likely won't get custody. I think you are focusing on the fact that there are some crazy judges out there, when the majority of judges follow the law pretty closely.
Look - I hate to see the two of you arguing with each other over speculation of what might happen with the baby after he is born. My best friend is an attorney in Colorado and basically said that there really is no protection to keep my wife from leaving and that any such custody hearing would be in Atlanta. Again, this is out of my control.
In addition to that, comfortable though I may be, I am not in a position to find (with any ease in this economy) a job comparable to the one I currently have. Moving would, in some ways (and ironically), undermine my ability to provide as much as I would like to my son and for the support i provide to my daughter in college and on the occasions my other two daughters need help. I'm not saying it isn't something I will do eventually (but i may not - this is still a very tough call) but in the immediate short term, it simply isn't possible. My wife and I have discussed possible solutions to the long distance between cities and we theorized that we could/would meet in Nashville.......now granted, everything is just talk until put into action, but it did suggest that underneath some of this behaviour, my wife does still understand the importance of my role in our son's life. And again, I don't think she was lying when she's told me for five years that one of the reasons she fell in love with me is because of my devotion to my children..........so unless she gets worse mentally (which i truly hope does not happen), I don't think she would be selfish enough to try and deny my right to custody. And besides, my hope would be that we would go for joint custody and allow us to make the rules going foward as my first wife and I did. But again, who knows.........she's still here in st louis for another 2 weeks anyway........I'm not suggesting we'll just patch this up or anything, but the time for making final decisions about our future is a ways off, and I do believe in my heart that she needs the move and the distance to understand why she's leaving and what it means. In my case, I need the time to figure out if I plan on making one last attempt to save my marriage or throw in the towel and shoot for the best means of maintaining a parental relationship with my son.
But please - no more lectures about my responsibility and my role - obviously I know what that's all about and have for well over 20 years. The idea behind relinquishing my rights had NOTHING to do with wanting to skip out on financial or emotional support........it had everything to do with the fact that I've seen the effects of divorce on children (my own), and I hate the thought of seeing it again if possibly, she could rebuild a relationship with somebody else which is what will end up happening someday anyway if we don't make this work. Obviously, the loving father part of me took over and I considered that if she is not stable, there's even more reason for me to be around..........and obviously, I do love my children and all the hard work that goes with it. I've killed the idea so let's stop talking about that, please:)
There are crazier things then me popping down to spend the weekend every 2 months with my son, having him during the summtertime, and him coming for Christmas.........and yes, maybe someday I could get a cheap place down there where we can build memories in his hometown.........and then again, maybe something goes off in my wife's head and she reconsiders my counter offer to moving NOW.
We'll just have to see how it goes.