Why is offering lots of unhealthy, processed foods considered a "loving" gesture? - Page 2

[mumkimum]

Just sharing my sympathies for OP's venting and others' annoying relatives too.

Our annoying vacation-food experience 2 yrs ago included a big lecture on how my dd was being calcium deprived because I don't force a glass of milk on her with meals (dh has lactose issues and I don't drink milk regularly either), and her diet was so poor from what was observed while eating on vacation with strange and new foods that we don't normally eat (for an already very picky eater - what the heck -- the flipping yogurt we end up having on vacation isn't even vegetarian since it has gelatin and it has aspartame in it too!! yeah, super great!!!).  

Oh yeah, and kids portions are TOTALLY DIFFERENT than adult portions.  We are constantly dealing with talk about how much dd eats or doesn't.  Including one relative who's constantly praising her for eating lots of food (like bread and popsicles or ice cream or whatever , you know, total health foods there kids don't normally eat tons of and deserve lots of praise for eating).  

Thanks for sharing the vent.

[1love4ever]

My goodness sosurreal09, that is terrible, I can not believe some people!!  Having a colostomy bag would be a terrible thing for such a young girl if it is unnecessary.  I can not imagine going through puberty with such a device, and I feel so sorry for those who must:(  but my goodness, I would try ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING else before such a thing would even Enter my mind. 

Can I ask you what type of probiotics you are giving your child?  I have been looking for some good ones, and these http://www.vitacost.com/Garden-of-Life-RAW-Probiotics-Kids-3-4-oz   are the best I have found so far(I have not purchased them because I am still looking), but I would love to know what you have found.  How have they been helping your child?  How so?  If you want to PM me with a response instead that would be fine too:)

That also reminds me of what a friend was telling me a few weeks ago about her friend.  Her friend has a 9 month old son with severe allergies, and he is on steroids and all sorts of terrible drugs to relieve his allergy symptoms and they are not even completely effective, and he is experiencing significant side effects.  My friend told her friend about some natural remedys that her naturopath had recommended to her that had really helped her daughter(I think one of them was a sort of medication that the naturopath had to order in but it was not a controlled drug, just something that the company only sells to the doctors and will not sell to patients..), and her friend would not even listen at all and said she would continue to give her son all of these drugs that were not even working that well, and giving him all of those side effects rather than trying natural remedies that were harmless!!  My friend is so sad when she sees that little boy, because of all he has to go through and be on all of those drugs at such a young age.  What are the long term effects I wonder!!  AGH!

[sosurreal09]

WOW that is scary about that baby!

I give DD adult probiotics b/c we are rebuilding her system b/c she needs 15 Billion. We will do that for a couple more months and then probably stop taking them as long as she is OK. We are still BFing and she gets coconut yogurt daily as well.

[mommy212]

My neighbors are huge junk food fans, and as soon as I realized this I let them know (gently, of course, mostly in a making fun of ourselves way) that we don't do junk food, and i am very picky about what ds eats. Their daughter makes me want to cry- she never eats anything remotely healthy, and she walks around with a sippy full of kool-aid ("I had to add extra sugar so she would drink even THAT!"). She has that calcium deficiency that makes her legs bow and her feet pigeon-toe in. In a day and age when healthy food is so available and knowledge about this kind of stuff is everywhere, how can you feel alright with yourself, giving your child a health deficiency that will affect her the rest of her life? I know that they can afford the food because we are all military and know each others' ranks. It is just lack of caring or knowledge I suppose.  Doesn't help that the mom is the pickiest adult eater I have ever seen! lol

[1love4ever]

The other day DD had some blueberries.  The neighbor boy(17months old, the same one I was talking about earlier) pointed to them and said "jellybean".  His mom said Oh he thinks they are jellybeans, I doubt he'll eat a blueberry!  I offered him one anyway, and he spit it out.  He will not eat ANYTHING that is not Super sweet because he is SO used to candy.  It made me sad.  DD eats them as if  they WERE candy, in fact that IS her candy lol, she has never had actual candy.  I am waiting for her to tell me he has a cavity, I know it is coming very soon, he eats so much junk.

[MoonWillow]

Slightly OT but I'm working part time doing a summer pre school day camp class and this little girl (maybe 3 years old) came with a marshmallow fluff sandwich. Whatever yanno? To each their own but her mom shows up a bit later and freaked on the child that some fluff was on her face. "Whats all over your face?!?!"

I'm like, "its fluff from the sandwich you sent her in with." 

Aside from that though junk really seems to be all I see being served around here. I'm not super strict about it for my own reasons but I'm floored sometimes by what I see. Do kids who just played soccer in the the hottest part of the summer heat really want a bunch of melted donuts after the game? Or even cold donuts? 

[sosurreal09]

My nephew is 4 y/o and goes to daycare and his mom was telling me about the lunch she packed him the other day.

1.kool aid

2. PBJ "uncrustables"

3. doritos

4. a twix

Is there anything healthy in that? I guess maybe the PB but IDK what the ingredient are in those "uncrustable" things.

[berry987]

Ugh, I hear all of your pain. My mom loves to dole out nasty, processed "treats" to our kids whenever we are there. SHe just doesn't get it. She thinks that I'm opposed to yummy food or something. I've even said to her "Mom, treats are fine every now and then, but those aren't even real food, they're chemicals and coloring!" How about a homemade chocolate chip cookie or something, at least it's better than Little Debbie snack cakes and twizzlers!

The other hard part is how my 6yo compares his food choices to his friends. He complains that I don't send Lunchables or Doritos or soda in his lunch. I try to make them kid-appealing, but there is a limit to what I'll do. Homemade cookies, pb w/fruit, toast with honey, is about as junky as I'll go. I tell him "because I LOVE you and I want you to be strong and healthy and grow big and tall." That partially satisfies him, but in our culture, there is definitely a feeling that cool parents, who embrace childhood, let their kids eat crap. At least in some of the areas where I live. And the kids pick up on it and somehow my son ends up thinking I don't care enough to let him eat that stuff.

[1love4ever]

http://www.thereluctanteater.com/2009/01/ridiculous-food-product-smuckers-uncrustables/   Here is what I found on uncrustables.  OMG!  I can not believe that this stuff is out there for kids to eat and that parents dont even bother to look at the ingredient list and see what everything is.  I research everything before I give it to my kid!!

As PP said, my family and friends also just think that I am opposed to yummy food, and that I just dont want my baby girl to have good tasting food for some insane reason that they just can not understand.  I am just so strange and ridiculous that they could not possibly wrap their minds around my outrageous thinking.  I guess I just must not love my baby enough to give her treats.  I am so mean....  Thats what I think that goes through their minds anyway:)

I am afraid of what PP says is happening with her DS- comparing his food to others.  I am just waiting for the day when DD figures out that there is junk out there and wants it all the time.  i am like you, I will not do junk, period.  If it is a treat that I have made MY SELF, then I will let DD have some, but otherwise no way, not going into my precious little babys mouth.  I will not allow that junk to enter her body and interfere with her growth and cause her problems!  Many of the chemical additives that are in food are thought to just remain in the body because the body does not know how to rid itself of them.  Stored mainly in fat cells I have read.  So this junk becomes a part of their permanent makeup?  I dont think so.  It is soooooo sad:(

[mamaecho]

Yep. We want our kids to eat healthy food because we hate them.

[motherhendoula]

The last time we were at MIL's house she asked if she could give LO a hot dog....(he is 10 months old)  i said NO, she countered with 'its OK, its 100% beef, c'mon, live a little!'  

oh yeah....using my baby as a waste dump is really living!!  Next - we are all going to go parachuting together!    now thats living!

hey someone mentioned Kale Chips????   help a mother out and share that recipe!!!   Thanks!

[Sayward]

Kale chips are the easiest thing in the world, and they are DELICIOUS! Just de-rib and tear up a head of kale. Toss with about a teaspoon - a tablespoon of olive oil and salt + pepper to taste. Spread out on pans in a single layer. Bake at 375 until crispy, about 10-15 minutes. Done! They are amazing healthy salty crispy ADDICTIVE not-potato-chips. 

[Contented73]

OP, we have similar problems when we go on extended visits with grandma.   One thing I always do when I am visiting people, is seek out the raw milk source as soon as I get there, and drive off to whatever farm I need to and buy milk, eggs, yogurt, and anything else that looks good.  Then I know that the kids will at least be drinking the right milk and eggs.  I also have made bread as a fun "project", and then we have good bread.  I haven't done this, but you could also make some cookies or cake that you approve of, so that when grandma wants to hand out treats, they will at least be semi-decent ones.

It is hard when you feel like all the careful work you do with your family with regards to food, just goes down the drain because of other people's influence.  Just try to remember that it is temporary and once back in your own home, you can get right back on track.

[Contented73]

Originally Posted by Sayward 

Kale chips are the easiest thing in the world, and they are DELICIOUS! Just de-rib and tear up a head of kale. Toss with about a teaspoon - a tablespoon of olive oil and salt + pepper to taste. Spread out on pans in a single layer. Bake at 375 until crispy, about 10-15 minutes. Done! They are amazing healthy salty crispy ADDICTIVE not-potato-chips. 

This sounds great!  How do you de-rib a head of kale?!

[sosurreal09]

O-M-G we went to MIL's house last night for dinner, she made stuffed peppers and rice and tomatoes (all conventional) but well at least healthy minus the pesticides and hormones...

Before dinner she's trying to get my DD to eat marshmallows. I say "she does not need marshmallows" and she gets in a tiff but I didn't let her..

Again before dinner she brings over this box of "Fruit snacks" and excitedly says "Oh she can have these they have fruit in them!" I read the box, Nope no fruit just HFCS, wax, and juice concentrates...she has a bigger tiff...I argue that there is NO point in making her eat fruit snacks when she LOVES real fruit! She says "well they are good to have around the house for her though" I say "yeah so is FRUIT which is HEALTHY and she loves it!" more of a tiff...says she should be able to eat fruit AND fruit snacks (these literally didn't even have Vitamin C in them which I though all those fruit snacks had there was NO way I was going to give them to her)

Then after dinner (and for once in her life) MIL actually thought about her dairy allergy and bought her 2 (!) PINTS of so delicious coconut ice cream. (thinking she would just GOBBLE them all up! since she is so "deprived") I agreed to let her have it and guess what? She ate maybe 1/2 of 1/4 of a cup (by choice, I actually had her eating straight out of the carton) and then saw MIL had bananas and went nuts running for them, jumping up and down, screaming, nanas nanas!!!!

Oh but she is deprived and she needs that junk MIL was trying to shove down her throat all day! Then MIL says "Well that won't last, she will change, and you have to let her" ...

Then SIL gets into a tiff with me b/c her kid lives on HFCS (literally he ONLY eats junk food and when he wants water she will say "Well I really need you to drink your gatorade" and tells me he needs his "juice" more than water"....)

She constantly feels the need to be validated as a "good mother" and looks over at me (after a tiff with MIL about healthy foods) and says "Well my kid pretty much only eats junk food but he's not overweight and he's perfectly healthy!" (I didn't say anything) so she goes "RIGHT?" I said sarcastically "W/e you say" and she flipped her lid on me (I just ignored her)

Earlier she was making fun of me (really, seriously, teasing me!) for still BFing DD, (21 m/o) I made the mistake of saying I believe in CLW and now she will taunt me and say "boobies tills she's 4 boobies till she's 4!" like a little kid....and she's OLDER than me....UGH WHY do people want me to poison my kid with crap and stop doing the things that are good for her?

[1love4ever]

O my gosh, I didnt know anyone was uneducated enough to think that Gatorade was juice, or that it is better than water!!  UGH!   Contented73, those are excellent thoughts!

[motherhendoula]

Thanks for the Kale Chip recipe!  i will have to give that a whirl....i de-rib Kale by basically grabbing the two sides of the leaf at once and pulling down...nothing too complex!  yowza sosurreal!! i thought my in laws were ridiculous with their white bread = health and longevity mentality!!

[bonamarq]

I see this as a CONSTANT battle with society at large - I don't allow dyes and HFCS in the house but at 7yo I don't have total control of what dd eats anymore - soccer team snacks are a big one

Was SO PROUD that dd THREW AWAY the drink from one family that gave out the plastic 'barrels'  of pure dye and HFCS - POISON  IMO) And at a b-day party I encouraged her to get the ice cream that was NOT neon blue or green (even tho ALL the other kids were getting it) I have turned her into a constant label reader at the age of 7! Looking at gr of sugar and protein 

I live in WV and healthy eating is just not in the cultural conciousness here save for a few of us...

I try and strike a balance and limit as much as possible without being a total nazi as I see this as a risk of backfiring - she loves those fruit snacks that the parents feel are "healthy" and if I said 'You can't have that" I think she might rebel and reject my whole philosophy KWIM? She reacts to the dyes those (behavior deteriorates but is never 'out of control' - but I will often point out to her that correlation - not as an excuse for it - but so that she sees whey we don't want her to have it and how her body doesn't like it either...

 - as far as visiting folks I'm quite fortunate that most of the people I would stay with feel the same as I do about these issues so we're lucky there..When I recommended to one friend that she try feeding her 9 mo organic cheerios to encourage the pincer grasp she declared "I'm not giving my child that crap!"

needless to say she's lightened her standards a bit now that her dd is 6 yo and I don't worry about what food is offered at her house when we make our visits (she's out of town)

[1love4ever]

You are very fortunate.  Have you tried Annies fruit snacks?  Albertsons in MT has them, and you can get them on vitacost.com.  They actually taste pretty good and they are naturally dyed and they are organic.  They have a lot of sugar so I dont let my 17month old have them, but a friend gives them to her 2yo and I tried them:)

Anyway, I think it is the same way all over this country- healthy eating is NOT a priority, actually it is not even thought of.  Today I saw an old friend of mine in the store and her 3yo had a big cup full of those little fried/breaded pieces of popcorn chicken that Walmart sells, and was practically inhaling them:(  He is already overweight and he eats garbage all the time, just like the kids other people have mentioned on this thread.  Candy, frozen dinners, Pizza Hut, UGH

Ya know, when my mom was growing up (she was born in 1965), her family was poor.  But her mom still wanted to give her kids treats.  Their treat often times was peach slices with fresh cream!!  She still wants it once in awhile and goes on and on about how much she loved it as a kid and how special it was to get a treat like that :)  If only that was how kids these days felt!!

Edited by 1love4ever - 7/18/11 at 4:17pm

[peaceful_mama]

my hubby is with all the in laws on here! he claims our kids NEED treats...well so do *I*  but *I* don't enjoy battling over popsicles while he sleeps--night shift work.  So the other day, when I got sick of the whining about the popsicles, I told them to go share them with every child they saw outside.  They did.  I no longer had to fight about popsicles instead of meals, how many etc etc and my hubby got the flippin point that as long as there is a mega pack of frozen water and dye tubes in our freezer, our kids will not leave them or me alone, and I am going to get rid of them---so he may as well do as I've said.  My oldest is 6 now and they do unfortunately know what junk is.  I buy like the one person pack of Skittles at teh checkout and they share.  I buy the pack of healthier ice cream treats and everybody gets one and it is gone.  I absolutely refuse to fight about food.  That's just that.